Then there was you
by urdreamgal
Summary: A story about the red string of fate. This is a byaruki story with canon renruki and hints of ichiruki. Its a story about how no matter how impossible things seem, one way or another they will always find their way back to eachother. It is also somewhat AU, there is more of Hisana's story and Rukia/Byakuya's past. Read Byaruki's adventure becoming friends, then family then lovers.
1. Chapter 1

Then there was you

RUKIA

"We have an urgent matter to discuss, Captains of the Gotei 13. As you are well aware, lieutenant Abarai of the sixth division has been sent to the human world's Karakura town to deal with that arancar that escaped us, Grimjaw Jaggerjack was it? Substitute soul reaper Ichigo Kurosaki had volunteered to assist him in vanquishing the remaining arancar's that may appear in Karakura town while he has been tasked with the mission of overlooking the neighbourhood. We have however received some disturbing reports from the twelfth division saying that both the spiritual pressure of Abarai and Kurosaki have dissipated completely. We aren't sure yet what this could mean, but im sure the officers of the stealth force will find them and assist them. As you can see, captain Mayuri is still at work trying to collect data on the situation, and therefore cannot be at the current meeting." Said captain general Shunsui Kyoraku, and he sighed tiredly.

I truly felt bad for him. He still had Lisa and Nanao as company, they were like daughters to him. But as people loving and friendly as he was, he never seemed to connect to other people. After the previous captain general Genryusai Yamamoto, his mentor and father figure died tragical during the last war, he seemed to be less suave than he used to be. Shunsui Kyoraku was well known as a womanizer, lazy layabout before the war, though he always made time everyday to visit my division's previous captain Juushiro Ukitake, his oldest and dearest friend.

I also missed him, my father figure, who was always concerned and caring for my health, despite always being of poor health himself. Working under him was never unpleasant, the thirteenth division always seemed like family and always had a warm atmosphere to it, our captain Ukitake being the heart of it with his childish, caring charm. He was a very wise man. And brave. He would have had at least two hundred years left to live if he didn't sacrifice himself for us, and if he kept taking his medication steadily. However, he chose to preform his duties to the bitter end, and died without regret, with a smile on his face, knowing that he did his best to help us all, and now what remained of him is now the entity we call, the Soul King.

We pretended not to be too concerned but everyday at the same hour that captain Shunsui used to check up on captain Ukitake's health, he visits his grave and talks to him. More than a few times Nanao or Lisa found him passed out at the grave, having drunk himself to sleep. The captain always used to be a drinker, but since captains Ukitake's passing he has mainly been drinking to heal the void of loneliness in his heart. I know that I couldn't even imagine life without Renji or Ichigo in it, and we have known each other only a few years.

Shunsui and Juushiro were introduced as children during a noble gathering thousands of years ago. They became fast friends and only strengthened their friendship over the millennia. They entered the Soul Reaper Academy together and graduated together. They were mentored under the same person, captain general Yamamoto, and both of them had twin zanpakuto's. They were always together and any arguments they had was always quickly forgiven and forgotten because of their long-time closeness.

The meeting halls doors opening without any knocking brought me out of my troubled thoughts.

"We have an emergency." Said captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi. "The nano-cams that my division sends with each soul reaper to record their work in the world of the living have been terminated, and not even a smidgen of data had been collected from them, it is impossible to say what happened to lieutenant Abarai and Kurosaki." He exclaimed, waving his arms in the air exaggeratingly.

A small shiver of worry ran up my spine. We all had been through so much together, I knew better than to let my worries get the better of me. There were always complications on missions, a small technical failure such as this was nothing. They were both fine. Publicly, I looked much like my brother, Byakuya. I schooled my features to look unconcerned and uninterested, devoid of emotions. Ichigo was as strong as a captain, perhaps as strong as my brother, he should handle any weak little arancar with ease. Renji. My finger subconsciously stroked my wedding ring. He wasn't as strong as Ichigo, but he was determined and I knew nothing would ever get the better of him because he had too much love for life to die young. I let my mask crack just a little at the thought of my meaningless worry. They both saved my life too many times to count. Paranoia was unbecoming of a Kuchiki.

While captain Mayuri harped on about how he couldn't understand why something happened to his devices and about how upset he was about not knowing something, my thoughts continued to run away with me. I loved both Ichigo and Renji, but Ichigo was a human and he had to live his life. That doesn't mean that we couldn't still be friends, hell he was my closest friend, closer even than Renji, and Renji and I grew up together.

Renji's proposal was just was we needed to draw the line in our friendship. It was almost a year ago now. I didn't accept it at first. And Byakuya was beyond unhappy about me marrying out of the nobility, but he said he would never stand in the way of my own happiness, when he himself married my sister, Hisana, who was a peasant in district seventy-eight, Hanging Dog. One of the Soul Societies hell districts. From seventy-eight to eighty, were considered the worst districts in the afterlife. They were poor, dirty and filled with unkind soul's.

For common souls, eating wasn't an important part of life because they couldn't get hungry, however the soul transferal system wasn't perfect and my sister and I had been sent to a district that definitely wasn't meant for us, after all I was a new borne baby when I died and was sent there with her, what sins could I have committed to be condemned to such a place? I was one of the few souls that emitted a stronger spiritual pressure, those of us who have more spirit energy than others feel the effect of the cold, of hunger.

Brother never spoke about how he met my sister, but I know that for the better part of the century he has loved no one else, even though she died before the plum blossoms first bloom on their fifth year.

I decided to keep the name 'Kuchiki' for his sake, and for my sisters. Renji was hurt when I told him that I wouldn't change my name, and that Byakuya refused to give him our family name. It wasn't uncommon for things like this to happen in the nobility, but it was sometimes overlooked. A distant relative named Koga Kuchiki married into the family and still took the family name. Of course, he became a stain on the family name and had to be sealed away and terminated for misconduct.

Incessive knocking from the outside echoed through the hall. I walked to the door and opened it for the terrified looking stealth force officer.

"What is it?" Asked captain general Kyoraku through a sigh, and all eyes turned towards the trembling young man.

"Sir. We have just returned from the world of the living. We were informed by the human friends of lieutenant Abarai of what happened, may I give you my report sir?" He asked and lifted his head only enough to see the captain general beckon him forward.

Captain took the written report and ordered the man away. His eye's widened and his lips parted in a gasp. His hand clenched the report harder as he read the report. My eyes were trained on his every move. It was against order to speak out before the captain general chose to inform us of what he decided we should know, but my nerves got the better of me.

"Captain General, sir, what did the report say?" I asked in a soft tone. He licked his lips and tried to reply to me, only to close his mouth again and bite his cheek. He looked me in the eye sincerely then gestured for brother to come forward and read the report. By this time, we all knew something bad had to have happened. Was it Ichigo? Was it Renji? My heart hammered in my chest and I let my social mask fall away completely.

"Brother?" I asked Byakuya. Once he was finished reading the report, I could see his jaw clench and unclench. He folded the report and tucked it into his uniform and walked towards me.

"Thank you, Shunsui. I believe we should be headed home." He said with his back to the rest of the room, and lifted his hand to grasp mine and pull me towards the door.

"Wait." Said the captain general, and he pulled his straw hat over his eyes. "I have a mission for captain Kuchiki of the thirteenth division." He said and lifted his hat only enough for one eye to peek through beneath it. "You are now tasked with exterminating the threat in Karakura town." He said, directly to me.

"I won't allow it." Said my brother harshly beside me.

"It is a direct order from her captain general, she, nor you may refuse. This is a personal matter now, it is her duty, both to us and to the fallen." Captain general Shunsui said to him.

"Fallen?" I asked my brother hesitantly, and the panic and refusal to accept what they had clearly announced right in front of me. Many shocked gasps echoed throughout the hall.

"The Kuchiki family has higher duties to abide by than that of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. As the head of the Kuchiki clan, I refuse your order, I shall go in her stead." He answered, pulled me behind himself.

The captain general sighed. "She has the right to avenge the death of Abarai and Kurosaki, you know that it isn't just the need to end the problem that makes me choose her for the job. Lady Kuchiki, what would you like to do?" He asked me with pitying eyes.

I snatched the report out of Byakuya's haori, startling him. He tried to gently take it back from me but I kept moving it out of his reach so that I could read it myself. I wasn't aware of the tears streaming down my face or that my mouth had begun quivering. All captains apart from the captain general, brother and myself left the hall, offering us their condolences.

 _At approximately 11:34pm in the town on Karakura in the world of the living, the arancar known as Grimjaw Jaggerjack emerged and called out for Ichigo Kurosaki to battle him, lieutenant Abarai and Kurosaki fought there best, but when they had the enemy cornered, the enemy released a powerful attack in the direction of the Kurosaki Clinic. The mod soul currently residing in Kurosaki's body tried to escape with his two sisters, but the strike hit its target and both Kurosaki and his younger sister Karin Kurosaki were eliminated. Once Kurosaki's real body was killed, his spirit immediately passed on. Abarai tried to call for assistance but the communication with the twelfth division had been severed due to the monstrous spiritual pressure from the arancar. He and Kurosaki had previously managed to inflict grave injuries upon the arancar, however before it retreated back to Hueco Mundo it dealt a fatal blow to Abarai who was trying to resuscitate the fallen Kurosaki Karin, and Kurosaki Ichigo. The intel from this report was directly given by Orihime Kurosaki, wife of Ichigo Kurosaki, and Uryu Ishida._

At some point Byakuya had stopped trying to retrieve the report and instead tried to persuade the captain general that he would be better for the job.

"That's impossible. This isn't real." I murmured under my breath. How was it even possible for them to be dead? The were so strong! Kon, the mod soul, Karin Kurosaki, Ichigo's younger sister, Ichigo, a hollow, quincy and soul reaper hybrid, and Renji, my husband of not even six months and lieutenant of the sixth division, under Byakuya my brother. It was impossible for these four souls to just be…gone.

"I will leave for the world of the living immediately." I said after wiping my face of all the tears I had shed. I bowed to the captain general and flash stepped as fast as I could to my bedroom at the Kuchiki compound.

So, once again the story has come full circle. Like how Kaien died to avenge Miyako back when I was new to the thirteenth division. It was my duty to kill the monster that killed my precious friends, my husband. Even though I know I would most likely die, just as Kaien had, I know it has to be done. Besides, now everyone who I cared for is gone. What is the point of living in a world without the ones who loved you the most, who you loved the most? I thought briefly about my brother. He was strong, he recovered after losing my sister and he became stronger. I don't mean much more to him than a promise he had made to my sister. He will be fine without me, one less burden for him to carry on his shoulders.

After I was sure that I was prepared to face what was ahead of me, I left to the Senkaimon for departure. Even though I knew it was cowardice, I didn't try to find Byakuya to say my goodbyes. He would either stop me, or join me and die at my side. No one else needs to die, except that arancar. I was going to kill the arancar or die trying. I have nothing left to lose. Once the doors opened for me, granting my passage into the world of the living, I stepped into it with no regrets. I thought I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye, but it must have been my imagination.

BYAKUYA

She fled after announcing her intentions and my heart leapt into my throat. In one last attempt to convince the captain general to let me leave as well, I resorted to more cunning, manipulative tactics. I knew that he had a soft spot for anyone who he shared history with.

"Shunsui-senpai, please. I can't lose her as well. She is young, like I was. She hurts now, but the pain will alleviate over time. Don't let her waste her life. She still has people who love her. Let me accompany her?" I asked him and bowed, only enough to show him the respect I once openly showed to all my mentors.

He sighed and closed his eyes. "And what would happen to the Kuchiki clan if the head of the clan doesn't return home?" He asked me hesitantly.

"I will not die until I know she is safe at home. I have willed Rukia Kuchiki, my adoptive sister, to be the next clan head if anything ever were to happen to me. Though you needn't worry. Of what I can tell, the arancar is smart, but it waits for openings since it cannot rely upon its own strength to succeed in battle. I will be victorious, and I will not interfere in Rukia's battle unless she needs me, you have my word and my honour." I told him and bowed just a little lower than anyone of my status ever should, to emphasise the importance of my request. I was begging. It shamed me but my pride has long since taken a shape of its own. Sacrificing a little for the majority was worth it.

"Very well. I will await your report. Report to me in person upon your return." He said to me. I straightened myself and nodded briefly before flash stepping back to the compound. I waited on the roof overlooking the Senkaimon. I watched her walk towards it, with sad, resigned eyes. She didn't even intend to talk to me before she left. My heart ached painfully. I was no stranger to the loss of loved ones. I would forgive her.

Before she entered the Senkaimon, I flash stepped ahead of her so that I may follow her once she enters the world of the living. It would be best if she didn't know that I was following her.

I stepped out of the light and into the world of the living. Such a strange world. Unlike the majority of souls in the spirit world, I was never apart of this world. Souls that move between the worlds, continuing the cycle of life that maintains the stability. Once you die in the world of the living, you are moved to the soul society, once you die there you are once again reincarnated afresh in he world of the living, a completely new life.

 _I was born from one of the royal families in the soul society. A new soul, my first life. Unlike regular souls, mine will always return to the soul society for reincarnation. One of the reasons we try to keep marriages and reproduction inside the highest nobility is for that very reason. If we marry outside of the nobility we run a risk of falling outside of our class and into the uncountable masses of regular human souls. It is rare but it is possible for the human soul to become apart of the nobility family tree, permanently as well, but that is dependent on children and if the marriage stayed true._

 _The Kuchiki clan are the book keepers of the entire afterlife. We retain all information regarding souls. Souls that died out, living the last of their lives, new souls, reincarnated souls, damned souls, we hold the records of all, since the very beginning. The danger for us however, is that over the years fewer and fewer of our own have been reincarnated. And even if they were, if they grew corrupt and meddled in the books of life and death, many horrible events could occur._

 _I myself thought about rewriting the events of Hisana's life. If I removed her illness from her life, she would live. But I understand why it is that we should not meddle with fate. My parents, my uncle and my aunt both grew greedy for power and attempted to overthrow my grandfather because they wanted to use the records instead of protecting them. They were all executed. The law is the law. Even my mother wasn't allowed to live. I promised them that I would never break the law, for any reason. I never intended to. And I couldn't very well refuse their last wishes._

 _I wasn't supposed to claim the position of head of the clan or captain of the sixth division, at least not for many millennia to come. My father's older sister's husband Koga was to be the next head of the clan, however due to corruption in his human soul, he had to be sealed away. His wife, my aunt fought to the death with my grandfather to avenge her husband, even knowing that he was in the wrong, knowing what she was doing didn't accomplish anything but, grandfather, and my fathers suffering. Father broke the law trying to rewrite his sisters' fate, and was punished accordingly. The only Kuchiki left to inherit our legacy and our duties was me._

 _I was forced to leave behind my innocence and become a soldier. I was burdened with being the last person alive who grandfather could pass his teachings to. I did my utmost to abide by his teachings as well as the teachings of Yoruichi Shihoin, a few nobles from the four great houses, much like ours, Juushiro Ukitake and Shunsui Kyoraku were also my mentors, teaching me the fundamentals of becoming a soul reaper. I couldn't go to the academy because our class wasn't supposed to mix with riffraff. During my final year however, at least for a few months, I had to become apart of the academy in order to achieve official qualification. I had to go to the land of the living for tests, I had to patrol the Rukongai districts, even the worst of them, and I had to judge souls in the world of the living sending them to the afterlife or to hell._

 _It was during a patrol in the seventy-eighth district, Hanging Dog, where I found a young woman being harassed by a group of men. It wasn't our duty to interfere with the people living there, however we were also tasked with upholding the peace. I chose to break up the argument and volunteered to walk the girl home. That was how I first met Hisana._

 _She had told me that she was looking for information about someone and those people said they could answer some of her questions. Whether they knew the answers that she was seeking became irrelevant when they tried to force her to pay for the information in a way she wasn't willing to._

 _Often when I was set on patrol for the Rucongai, I would seek her out to ask her if she had any luck in her search, and offer her aid via food and resources. We became friends quickly. She was incredibly kind and caring for someone who grew up in such a terrible place. She was a peasant, a regular human soul that was sent to the after life until her time for reincarnation came._

 _Every time I saw her I felt more and more guilt. My family kept the records of souls. I could look at them and find the person she spoke of for her, if they even still lived. But fear of crossing the boundaries of the law kept me from doing so._

 _One day when I stayed longer in the Rucongai than my patrol required of me, we stay up talking well into the night. I decided it was better not to tell her about my family, or else she would beg me to help her, and even worse I knew that I just might. So, I kept my silence. That was the night that she told me who it was she was looking for._

 _She knew it was a girl, who probably looked a lot like herself. She said the girl was her baby sister, that she gave up. Gave up wouldn't quiet be what she did for the baby, but I couldn't judge her because I didn't live in their world. She said that no one would help her with the baby. There weren't any nursing mothers in the Rucongai because only souls with vast spiritual pressure were able to procreate. The baby was hungry, and she was hungry and scared. She kept the baby for as long as she could, but when it seemed that her comfort wouldn't be enough, that the baby was sure to die all over again, in her arms as it did when their home in the world of the living was invaded by bandits and their family was murdered. She left the baby in an ally and ran away._

 _She said she wasn't sure what happened to the baby, but a boy told her a few days after she let the baby that an old woman picked her up and took the baby with her. If even the smallest chance existed for her to find her baby sister, to help her now even though she couldn't then, she wanted to do it._

 _I whole heartedly supported her. After my training at the academy was completed, I hired Hisana as a maid in our household. She was shocked to say the least when she found out that I was a noble. Once I had completed my studies I was appointed lieutenant of the sixth division under my grandfather, and never did I give up my training. I trained in Bakudo, Kido, Hado and swordsmanship. Whenever the demon cat woman, Yoruichi came to tease me and taunt me, I would practice my flash step._

 _Soon I took my grandfather's place as the captain of the sixth division, and not long after that I became the twenty-eighth head of the Kuchiki family. Of course, my duties to the family still weren't over. Because of the lack of Kuchiki's in the house, it was my duty to produce the next heir, and to raise them in the family's laws and responsibilities. However, it was not as simple as that. Either the noble woman was too young, too old, or just not my type, like Yoruichi Shihoin. Yoruichi had a younger brother who could become the next head of the family, she was also the captain of the second division, the stealth force. It would have been a perfect match to anyone who didn't know us personally._

 _I was relieved of that immediate burden once she ran away from her duties with the captain of the twelfth division, Kisuke Urahara. One day, she just never turned up to her division quarters, she didn't return home either, she just vanished. I expressed my immense relief to Hisana, who I had remained close to over the passing years. Every week she would leave to go search the Rucongai for her sister. Once, out of curiosity I asked grandfather if it was against the law to merely look at the books, with no intent to change anything. He sighed and told me that looking isn't enough. Temptation will force you to keep doing the wrong thing, that even though we kept the records, they didn't belong to us, they belonged to the heavens, where the soul's who lived their last lives are sent. Human souls that is. Us born souls never truly ascend, we just exist to preform our duties and those of us who aren't exterminated or sealed are able to reincarnate back into our family as the future generation of Kuchiki's._

 _I also shared my thoughts about my feelings towards Hisana with my grandfather on his deathbed. He encouraged me, saying that as long as I found some happiness for myself among all of my responsibilities, that he could rest peacefully. He told me how he regretted not being able to watch me grow up at my own pace, but was exceedingly grateful to the gods for allowing him the time to raise me and watch me succeed in life. He passed away the next morning, leaving me the soul surviving Kuchiki. At the mercy of a cold world and conspiring Elders who would attempt to use me and influence me at all times during my life. Their advice and manipulation weren't very different, as I learnt harshly over the years._

 _I took his and my parents wishes to heart, I upheld the law and I tried to make happiness for myself. I asked Hisana to marry me, and she said yes. However as calm and peaceful as life was for me, even after my loss, it couldn't last. Hisana was over exerting herself everyday out looking for her sister. I loved her dearly, but our relationship never truly became romantic even after we married. She would spend every waking moment in depression, and when I finally had some time to myself where I could be with her, she was out looking for her sister. Sometimes I joined her for the company, but it always secretly hurt me when she continued her search instead of spending small moments with me._

 _She became ill soon after we were married, it was a disease of the heart, the type self-inflected over long times of mourning. Her regrets were killing her, yet still she searched. I couldn't stop her, all I was able to do was nurse her back to health until she decided she was well enough again to continue searching. I continued my duties to the clan, trying to uphold the good name the previous heads of the family had set before me. Few times throughout our marriage had we tried to conceive an heir, but whether it was just terrible luck, or her ill health, we were never able to have a child._

 _Eventually Hisana was bed ridden and all I could do to comfort her was hold her hand and care for her while she was unable to care for herself. She expressed to me how important it was to her that I would carry on her search in her stead if she were to die, that I should not tell her sister about her because she felt that she didn't deserve the title of elder sister. I helped her fall asleep by assuring her I would. Not an hour later, I tried to show her the first blossom of the plum tree, but she could no longer open her eyes, and her hand was colder than stone._

 _The elders forbade me from burying her among our family because she never truly became apart of the family, having not given me an heir. I felt that their reasoning was ridiculous, however I upheld their council and the law on the request that I be allowed to adopt the younger sister Hisana had been searching for if I should ever find her. It was against the law of course, but my conflict between the promise I made Hisana and the promise I made to my parents conflicted me. At the end I decided to adopt her anyway, regardless of the council of others. Many called me foolish and looked down upon me for tarnishing the Kuchiki name. I could bare it, as long as the burden was mine and not my families._

 _I finally found her at long last, the sister of Hisana, her name was Rukia. She looked every bit as beautiful as her elder sister, but where Hisana was timid and resigned, Rukia was head strong and brash. She initially refused to join my family. Knowing that it was probably a lot for her to take in so suddenly, I told her to think about the proposition and that I would return in a weeks' time with the adoption papers again. I don't know what changed her mind, but she decided to let me adopt her as my younger sister._

 _I made a living area for her in my home and created opportunities for her, such as removing her from the academy at once and allowing her to join the Thirteen Court Guard Squads at once. My mentor, captain Ukitake said he could take her in his squad, and we made an agreement to not seat her in any military positions, despite her promise in ability. It was for her own protection, as normal soul reapers weren't allowed to go on dangerous missions. We shared silent meals every day for breakfast and evening meals, we never spoke. She never looked at me and I never looked at her. How many years we wasted in fear, mourning and misunderstanding._

 _Forty years passed and after a particularly bad mission, Rukia was sent to a small town in the world of the living called Karakura. I intended to wish her well, and ask after her health, we did sometimes participate in small talk. But by the time I returned home before our evening meal, she had already left._

I shook myself from my thoughts when I noticed her exit the Senkaimon. I masked my presence and followed her like a shadow. The area was soaked in the recesses of dark energy. The arancar must have already come back. That means it was after something. It killed Ichigo Kurosaki, yet it came back. Was it after the other humans, his friends? Probably not. It could have killed them ages ago. It purposefully killed Abarai even though it was injured. It was killing with a purpose.

An uncomfortable feeling settled in my gut. It attacked Rukia once a long time ago. It couldn't possibly be after her, could it?

While Rukia found a high point to search the area from, I searched for the arancar. Traces of it were all around us, like a spider web. Just then I saw it just in time, appearing behind Rukia like an assassin. Before I could move she turned around and slashed at it with her zanpakuto. It seemed to be speaking with her while she tried to slash it or freeze it, though I couldn't tell what it was saying. She didn't seem to be trying her best against it, she wasn't even using her bankai, and her shikai was doing nothing for her other than wasting her spirit energy.

Rukia, what are you doing?

RUKIA

I climbed to the top of a tower to overlook the town. I had no intention of looking for Grimjaw however, he would find me. I emit my spiritual pressure around me like a tasty lure cast to bring in a big catch. I felt abnormal movement not far behind me and drew my blade just in time to avoid being clawed by him.

"Well well, it looks like someone isn't as weak and foolish as she was before." Said Grimjaw through his monstrous pointed teeth. He tried to craw at my neck and I encased the area around me in a thick wall of solid ice.

"Nothing to say to me? You know, im really quite angry. I spent a lot of time trying to kill Ichigo Kurosaki, and I finally did, and when I tried to eat the spiritual pressure in his corpse, there wasn't any left, I feel cheated. And that red headed baboon tasted like crap from the lick I got off of him before returning to Hueco Mundo. I do remember how you taste however, the one that got away. You know, I really thought I killed you back then, but since you are here we may as well play before I eat you." He said between growls and grunts while he was trying to claw at me.

"I will kill you or die trying. You killed my friends! My husband! Why are you like this? It's not like you enjoy anything you do, Aizen is gone, so why are you still doing his bidding?" I cried as I returned every blow he dealt me. I would have used bankai by now if I knew for sure that it wouldn't leave me more vulnerable.

If my body and my blade become ice, the elements would be better in my control and I could attack him from a distance, however, leaving myself in a state like that would mean that if he hit me just once, he could shatter me like glass. "Urg!" I choked as he successfully kicked my midriff sending me flying into a concrete tower. I grit my teeth as I involuntarily coughed blood. Before I could regain my senses and move away from the creator in the tower, Grimjaw appeared in front of me and slashed my chest twice with each of his claws.

The last thing I remember feeling was warmth and acceptance. I wouldn't have to live without the people I cared for most any longer. I would start a new life, with a new family, a human family. I would have parents and friends and siblings, I wouldn't be alone like I am now. I managed a small smile.

"Thank you." I barely whispered, to no one in particular, or perhaps it was to fate.

BYAKUYA

I was too late! A moment after the arancar caught her and slashed her my bankai engulphed the arancar. It screamed beastly and shrieked out its last words.

"Who are you? How dare you!?" Shrieked Grimjaw as more and more of his body became nothing but a bloody splotch.

"I am the family of this woman. And I was a friend of Ichigo Kurosaki and Renji Abarai. My name is too pure to touch foul ears and lips such as yours, so I will refrain from telling it to you. Perish, filth." I told him and with that, naught but gurgles were heard until nothing resembling a body was left. I recalled my blade and watched the rest of the corpse fade to dust. I hope he perishes in the depths of hell.

The last of the cherry blossom petals became my blade, and I sheathed it. I walked up to Rukia. I was honestly afraid to touch her, I was afraid that she no longer had a pulse. Hesitantly I lifted my hand to her upturned cheek and gently moved my fingers towards her pulse. It was still there, and not too weak. I did know some healing Kido, but not nearly enough to heal advanced injuries such as these.

I couldn't risk further aggravating her injuries so I held her face to my neck and opened the Senkaimon. I held her tightly against my chest, a hand over her head and an arm around her waist, and I ran through the Senkaimon at lightning speed.

Once I was through I immediately flash stepped towards the fourth division, to find captain Isane Kotetsu. I didn't need to open my mouth to voice my intentions, as the disturbance I caused lured Isane out of her office.

"Captain Kuchiki? What is…?" She trailed off, startled at the blood dripping on her floor.

"She received massive injuries in the world of the living, heal her immediately and to the best of your ability. I have a report I have to turn in." I told her and narrowed my eyes at her when she made no move to take Rukia from me.

"Oh! I'm sorry captain Kuchiki! I will do my best, come by when you have time and ask my sister where we are if I am not yet done healing her." She told me and gently took Rukia from my arms. It was too painful to see Rukia it such a bloody state. I flash stepped towards the squad one barracks. I knocked once before lieutenant Ise let me inside.

"Captain Kuchiki." She greeted me with a bow, I nodded briefly towards her as I made my way to captain general Shunsui's office.

"Come to give me your report already?" Captain general Shunsui asked lowly, sensing that something bad must have happened, after all, my usually spotless and clean shihakusho and haori, and even my precious silk heirloom scarf was unkept and bloodied.

"Yes. From what I observed the arancar was particularly targeting Kurosaki and Rukia. It almost killed her, though she fought well. I stepped in only at the last minute to deal the finishing blow as she was rendered unconscious due to a massive injury to her abdomen. That is all." I told him as I looked him in the eye, I bowed shallowly and turned to leave.

"Wait." Captain general Kyoraku stated before I was able to escape his office. "I know how difficult it is to lose people you care about, Miss Kuchiki won't be able to preform her duties well enough anyway, so I am giving you both three months leave, non-negotiable. Be seeing you, Bya-bo." He said and tipped his straw hat friendly towards me. I walked out without another word.

Having completed my duties, I left for the fourth division once again. I grimaced as the dried blood that soaked through my clothes onto my skin clung to my skin. I needed to have a bath, but I would make sure that Rukia was stabilised first.

One of the seated officers of the fourth division led me to the room where Rukia was being healed. "It's here, sir." He said and bowed lowly before leaving. I opened the door only to halt in my step. Captain Isane was just finishing up bandaging Rukia's chest. My heart flew up into my throat in fright.

"I'm terribly sorry, I will leave." I said as I bowed and quickly turned around.

"That's not necessary captain Kuchiki, we are done now. Though it would be better if you knocked and awaited an answer in the future." Captain Isane chided and quickly apologised further for insulting again me, once I gave her my deadliest glare.

"What is the diagnosis, is she not fully healed?" I asked the stuttering woman.

"Oh well." She said looking down and sighed sadly. "I healed Miss Kuchiki to the best of my ability, she only needs to remove the bandage with the ointment in a few days' time, to avoid scarring. I did all I could for her, but I'm afraid that the baby couldn't be saved." She said sadly and placed her hand in her lap. Rukia who had been moving to climb off of the high hospital bed stilled in shock. My own heart froze and shivered in silent terror.

"What…baby?" Rukia asked hesitantly and touched her abdomen. "I wasn't pregnant." She said, searching Captain Isane's face, and glancing towards me for reassurance.

"It was about eight or nine weeks along already. I'm so, so sorry! I thought you knew! I shouldn't have said anything, please forgive me Rukia!" Isane mumbled and bowed low.

"I didn't even know." She said and violent shivers tore through her body.

RUKIA

Isane left us shortly after telling us about the miscarriage I had. I really wanted to die. I closed my eyes hoping for a new beginning. Only this seems to be a nightmare. I recklessly rushed into battle and I could have died. But I survived and now I have lost yet another loved one, because of my own foolishness. One that I didn't even know existed yet, but somehow hit me the hardest.

Brother walked over to me and carefully sat on the bed. He hesitantly took my hand in one of his own and stroked it with his other.

"Rukia. I'm sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through." He told me and squeezed my hand gently.

"Why did you bother saving me? Why didn't you let me die? I thought I lost everything that I loved, everyone who loved me. Now, I live only to lose another precious person. One I didn't have time to begin loving, but am forced to mourn over forever." I told him bitterly and his hands moved away from mine.

"Everyone? Rukia. I'm still here, and I love you." He told me gently trying to look me in the eye. "No one knew about the baby. This is a tragedy, but the one at fault is already dead, I killed him. I am not really close to anyone, but I considered Abarai and Kurosaki friends. The loss is heavy, but we can pull through it together. You won't always feel this sad, one day the pain will leave you." He told me and reclaimed my hand hesitantly.

"I don't think that is true." I told him and let my tears fall freely. I knew how awkward he must feel being around me while I was like this but I didn't want to be alone, and I needed to talk to someone. "I could be myself around them, I knew them completely, we trusted each other completely. How can I live without them in my life? And it's not only Renji and Ichigo that I have lost today. Karin, Ichigo's little sister also died, and Kon, the mod soul Ichigo and I saved together also died. And now my baby? The only part of Renji that I had left. And it's gone because I was reckless, because I tried to throw my life away!" I cried and squeezed his hand. I buried my face in between my knees and wept without restraint. "Kaien is gone, captain Ukitake is gone. Everyone I know and care for keeps leaving me. And the first person was my sister, maybe that was some sort of omen saying that I would be without loved ones for eternity." I told him and tried to rock myself for comfort.

"I can't change the past. But if you need to talk to someone, if you need to cry or if you just need company, I'm here for you Rukia. I know that I will never be like any of the people you lost who you loved so dearly, but I will make time for you. You can be yourself around me, nothing would make me happier." He told me and kissed my hand softly. I tilted my head towards him and wiped my tears away on my sleeve.

"I don't think you mean that." I told him and smiled sadly at him. "You might judge me on my thoughts and feelings. And I just don't know how to approach you. You seem so strong and confident and intimidating." I told him and he visibly flinched.

"Perhaps in the past I may have judged you, but not now. I want to be your friend, Rukia. It has been many years since I have let myself befriend anyone. I don't make friends easily for many reasons. I never had the luxury of playing with another child or speaking openly with another person. There were only two people I ever spoke to about my own thoughts and feelings to, and both have left me. Hopefully we can be companions to each other? I don't know how to be open, but I will try only for you. Also, you needn't been intimidated by me, by all rights as a Kuchiki, you are my only equal, I will not shun you." He told me and tried to smile.

"It would be nice you see you happy and smiling as well, you know." I told him and sat up trying to push my luck. He smelt like dried blood and I smelt as herbs and ointments but I was going to try and hug him none the less. For some reason talking to him made me feel lighter at heart. I don't think my mind truly accepted the loss.

I reached forward and pulled his face towards my chest. His eyes widened and he grunted on impact. My chest was rather flat so he had nothing to be embarrassed about really. I held him more gently and ran my fingers through his hair once, stopping when the kenseikan got in the way.

"R-Rukia?" He asked and put one of his arms on either side of me.

"I-it's a hug. You know? Though usually the other person hugs back. Otherwise it just makes things awkward." I told him and he hesitantly and loosely wrapped his arms around me. "When can I go home?" I asked him and gently squeezed him.

"Uh…I'm not sure, I will ask captain Isane. Perhaps you should stay the night?" He asked me hesitantly. I shook my head.

"No. I don't want to stay here. I don't really feel like sleeping in my room either, but it's better than here. I can't even think about how lonely everything will feel now. All that empty space never used to bother me before, or sharing wardrobes and bedding. Now, even the thought of it makes me feel sick, and even though I want to cry, the tears just won't come." I told him and buried my face between his shoulder and neck.

He cleared his throat. "Well, you may have your old room back, if you would like? You could choose a new room tomorrow as well, if you would prefer?" He asked me and I leaned back, releasing him from my hold.

"I don't know what I want. I just don't want to be alone, or in space where Renji and I once were together." I told him and carefully jumped off of the bed. I cringed but hid it before he could notice, and strode out of the room.

"Captain Isane? Thank you for everything. Would it be alright for me to return home now?" I asked her and she looked worried.

"Uh, I don't know if that is the best idea, you will still bleed for about a week or two, won't you please stay here until you have recovered?" She asked with concern. Before I could answer her, brother almost bit her head off.

"I thought you said she was fully recovered. What do you mean bleed?" He asked and narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm sorry captain Kuchiki! This wasn't something I could heal for her. She will be in a lot of pain and discomfort until the rest of the fluids from her uterus have come out. It's what happens when…you know?" She said softly, trying not to prod at any fresh wounds. Brother looked contemplative.

"Rukia? Do you want to stay here? I'm sure our physician could care for you as well in the meanwhile, if you are insistent on returning home?" He asked me.

"I want to go home. This pain won't kill me." I said and immediately cringed at my poor choice of words.

"Alright, if you insist. I will come over once a day to check on you, and if you need me you must send for me." She told us both and turned to brother. "She must not be allowed to leave her bed, no walking around unless it is to the bathroom, and she must try to stay on a light diet until she is fully recovered." She told him and he nodded. He wouldn't be that strict, would he? A shiver ran down my spine.

"Wait, wait, wait, so I'm supposed to stay in bed all day doing nothing? Alone? I don't even have decent reading material…I can't do that." I agued and brother glared at me.

"It is what is best for your health, you will do it to recover swiftly." He told me and I glared at him.

"Are we going to go home now?" I asked him and looked away. I was incredibly rare for us to ever argue, and almost never in public. I had to look away before he decided to keep me here while I recover.

Before I could gather what was happening around me, I was picked up like a baby and the world around me flashed by. Then I was placed gently on a soft thick futon mattress. I looked around me and gaped at the odd change of scenery. There were painting scrolls and elegant calligraphy papyrus hanging on the walls, as well and an incense bath and many other homey-like ornaments.

"Uhm, where-?" I started to ask him before he turned away quickly.

"This is my room. You may stay here tonight. Is there anything I can get for you from your room?" He asked me and took a sudden interest in my face. Probably because it was the first time that he saw me blush. You don't just dump someone in your bed and then offer to search their personal belongings. Then it occurred to me. I would get him back for this.

"Yes, but my room it very untidy…" I began and he frowned. I could see that he wanted to reprimand me for it, but decided to hold his tongue. "Is it really alright for me to sleep here? Where will you be?" I asked him and he looked a little bit unsettled.

"You are to stay here until you have recovered. I will be staying here as well of course to watch over you." He told me and all the blood rushed to my cheeks.

"You mean, like we are going to sleep in the same bed?" I asked him and he nodded like it wasn't a big deal. "Well…I will need my toiletries, my chappy face cloth, my chappy toothbrush, and the right side of the closet is mine, I would like my sleeping robes, please? And a change of clothing for tomorrow." I told him and even though his eyebrows twitched, he tried to smile. "Oh, and do you have any games?" I asked him and he looked at me blankly.

"Well, under the entertainment table there are two boxes, could you also bring those?" I asked him. He frowned and nodded. Just as he was about to exit his room I called after him. "Don't forget to bring some clean underwear from the top draw next to my side of the closet, and also the back purse inside there, I will need it to help stop the bleeding." I told him. I barely heard him squeak the word 'okay' before he left to go and get what I asked of him.

He returned in about twenty minutes. I had enough time to look at his bathroom and walk around his living space a bit. He looked incredibly uncomfortable with his arms as full as they were. I walked up to him and started filing away my belongings among his things. I put the game boxes by his calligraphy desk and put my toiletries in his bathroom. I hung my kimono on the handle of his closet and held my sleepwear and underwear in my arms.

"Uhm, thank you. I will change here while you get cleaned up." I told him and waited for him to nod and walk over to his closet and take out his dark blue night robes. While he was in the bathroom cleaning himself of my blood, I changed into my night clothes. I forgot to ask him to bring my chappy plushie because I couldn't sleep without it. I sighed to myself.

Byakuya walked out of the bathroom looking clean and refreshed. I was already laying inside of his futon, I looked up at him and gave him a small smile, I was sure that I wasn't blushing anymore because the days events eventually caught up with me and now I just wanted to sleep.

"Would you like something to drink or eat?" He asked me, as he placed his dirtied clothes in the washing hamper.

"Uh, yes please, I wouldn't mind some water. But im not really hungry. Everything is just weighting down on me now, I just need to sleep." I told him and lay back down in his bed. He nodded and left to return with a glass and a jug of cold water. I drank a few sips and settled on my back under his covers.

"Don't mind me, just do what you usually do during this hour, I'm going to try and sleep." I told him and smiled at him. He stared at me for a moment before walking to his desk and sitting down ever so elegantly. I didn't notice that I was mindlessly staring at him, until he looked up and met my eyes.

"Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to stare. I was lost in thought and my eyes just sort of ended up on you." I told him and turned my head away quickly.

"It's not a problem. I am just unused to company." He told me. I tried to sleep but I just couldn't.

"Brother?" I asked, trying to mask my irritation.

His brush halted in an instant and he looked up. "Yes?" He asked me waiting for me to tell him why I stopped him mid stroke.

"Do you maybe have a stuffed toy? Maybe a bunny? I can't really sleep without holding something." I told him and he looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I don't know if this will be sufficient, but will an Ambassador Seaweed plush be alright?" He said after retrieving it from a table of his admired items and ornaments. I took it and tried hugging it.

"It's nice and soft, it will work just fine, and it smells really nice as well. Thank you." I told him and tried to lay on my side facing away from him and the light.

"You are welcome." He told me. After about five more minutes of calligraphy, he gave up and decided to join me for the night.

BYAKUYA

She drifted off to sleep faster that I thought she would. I wasn't as open to opening up to her as I claimed to be, but trying to connect to her in her time of need is what she needs so I will fulfil them.

I need to prepare the funeral arrangements for Abarai as soon as possible. I didn't really have time to sleep, and even though I swore to watch over her until she is well again, I will have to leave an prepare my lieutenants send off.

It was customary to send off the departed as soon as possible, which for us will be by tomorrow around noon.

I sighed and got up and dressed again. I made my way to my division and ordered my men to organise a send off worthy of a hero of the Seireitei and lieutenant of the sixth division.

Once preparations were taking place and the invitations to all of Abarai friends and important acquaintances were delivered dutifully, I returned to my room and changed back into my nightwear. Sleep didn't come nearly as easily for me as it did for Rukia. While her loss pained and exhausted her, I had to recount her nearly passing on before my eyes, over and over again in my mind, torturing myself relentlessly.


	2. Chapter 2

RUKIA

I woke up feeling numb. I couldn't really think of anything. At the same time my heart and brain were in complete disconnection. I knew Renji and Ichigo were really dead. I accepted it completely. Yet, at the same time I had a feeling that I haven't actually accepted it yet at all. Even when brother woke up and told me to dress in formalwear for Renji's send off, it just didn't seem real. I was torn apart, but I wasn't sad. I just couldn't cry.

I woke before brother did so I used my free time wisely. He couldn't honestly expect me to stay under his watch until I have fully recovered, and I do require privacy and personal space.

I couldn't help but be more stunned as the minutes passed by. He never really spoke to me or even seemed to care all that much for me, but last night he was surprisingly kind and talkative. At the back of my mind I felt the wall I created to shield myself from sadness start to fissure. He wouldn't have acted as such had Renji and Ichigo still been alive. It was just more proof that it truly happened. Perhaps it was because I never saw their bodies that I couldn't be sure that they were dead.

I collected my necessities from brother's bathroom and silently made my way out of his room back to my own. It was quieter than usual. Usually the servants were running around the compound doing their daily chores, but today the main house seemed absolutely silent. I found my formal uniform next to my wedding kimono in my closet, and still, the tears but wouldn't come. Even though I was bursting with sadness.

By the time I was washed and dressed, relieved of my bandages and freshened up, brother was already awake and visibly annoyed.

"I told you to stay in bed. You were told to stay in bed and rest, do you not want to recover swiftly?" He asked me, narrowing his eyes accusingly.

"I know my body better than anyone else does, and I'm telling you that I will be fine until Renji's funeral ceremony is over. Then I will go back to bed. I'm not injured you know, its just a little bit of bleeding." I told him and walked past him into the dining hall. A little voice in the back of my mind screamed at me for talking back to him, but at the moment, any and all survival instincts seemed to have vanished from me, leaving me as an iced shell.

He followed my silently and sat at the head of the table. He didn't look pleased but he didn't look angry.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me once our meals were placed in front of us and the servants were gone.

"I don't feel anything at all. Isn't that strange?" I asked him, but kept my eyes on my food. Sadly, he had notified the kitchens about my new diet and while he had a lavish breakfast, I was faced with porridge.

"Everyone grieves differently. I couldn't cry when Hisana passed on either. I thought that perhaps it was because I had already cried a lifetime's worth of tears already." He told me and I could have choked on the porridge that I had barely swallowed. Brother cried all his tears? No one ever talked about him being a cry baby when he was younger. And how could he not have cried after my sister's death?

"The truest tears a person can shed are the one's that no one can see." He told me, as if to answer my silent musings. He really did think in strange ways. I once heard that tears were the embodiment of emotions that the body couldn't express, like extreme sadness or happiness. And brother says that true tears are invisible? I frowned while we ate, but eventually I decided that he wouldn't have said something so personal if he wasn't trying to open up to me or comfort me in his own way. But what do you say to something like that? Thank you? I'm sorry?

"I hope that you never have to suffer like that again then. The next time you cry, hopefully it will be out of happiness." I told him and waited for him to finish his meal. He truly looked shocked that I had said anything at all. Just being near him was making me all kinds of intimidated and embarrassed, and he was trying to be nice. It wasn't anything he did to make him seem that way, it was just the type of feeling he was surrounded in.

"Abarai's funeral shall be in less than two hours, will you take a seat alongside the captains, or as the widower?" He asked me. Widower? Such a strange term. I didn't want to be seated among too many people and at least if I took the widowers seat, next to brother, Renji's captain, I won't feel so uncomfortable.

"I will sit next to you." I told him as my answer. We were both to me seated in the front row anyway, but at least if I took the widowers seat instead of the thirteenth captains' seat I wouldn't need to sit next to captain Kurotsuchi. Brother nodded and told me he wanted to show me the memorial hall.

The memorial hall was a large room in the house that held the pictures of all the deceased family members of the main house.

"While we cannot allow Abarai's final resting place to be among our family, he was still your husband and if you should feel the need to express your thoughts or feelings, I have sent up an altar for him. No one is allowed in this room apart from us and the butler." He told me, and as my eyes passed a happy picture of Renji, my eyes were immediately drawn to the picture of Hisana. It was like looking into a mirror. I felt cautious of brother's eyes lingering on me, but I really wanted to take a closer look at her picture. It wasn't obvious at first glance, but her eyes were dark blue without the streaks of violet in them that mine had.

"Our eyes are different colours." I told him and he frowned. It occurred to me as he looked closely at her picture and then came to look at me more closely that before now, even he hadn't noticed the difference.

"I never noticed it before, its difficult to say whose eyes are more attractive though." He told me and walked outside of the room waiting for me.

"Thank you for allowing me hear, brother." I told him and he nodded softly, beckoning me to leave the room with him.

"Do you have a speech prepared for the ceremony?" He asked me and I froze midstep. What speech? Oh yes, that's right. I was supposed to have a speech written about memories I had with Renji. Who would have remembered to do such a thing after everything that has happened not more than a few hours ago?

"I will take your silence as a 'no' then. You don't have to make a speech if you don't want to, I am leading the ceremony and even though it is tradition, I will not put you though the unnecessary stress of the ordeal if you choose not to speak." He told me and continued down the hall until we reached his room. I was about to turn and leave for my own room until he grabbed my arm.

"And where," He said as he slid the door to his room open. "Do you think that you are going?" He asked with a delicately raised eyebrow.

"To my room?" I offered at the annoyed look on his face.

"I do believe that I made myself clear when I told you to be within my sight until you are well. You may stay in my room. I have ordered the servants to move all of your belongings back to your old room and to seal up your room until you are ready to sort it out personally." He told me and gently pulled me into his room. I sighed heavily. Perhaps it was better when he didn't care enough about me to give me a second glace. He closed his door behind us and opened the doors to his private garden.

"I will make a speech." I told him and he looked up from his calligraphy. "I haven't written anything or practiced anything, but the purpose is supposed to be sharing our memories, right? I would prefer to speak on the moment. Also, I need to go back to my room before we leave anyway because there are certain things that he would want to be buried with." I told him and looked him dead in the eye before he sighed and looked down at his ikebana.

"Very well, we can do so together before we leave." He told me and went back to snipping the blossom branch we were working on.

"I want to do it alone, its personal, and besides that, I don't know when everything is and I may need to look around a bit. Unless you want us to be late for the ceremony?" I asked him with a slightly sarcastic smile. He narrowed his eyes at me again, I could almost feel the gears in his brain working. I knew I should never speak back to him or treat him with anything less than the utmost respect. The head of the family was to be pleased at all times, and what he says goes, you just have to adapt and fulfil his whims. Surprisingly, he nodded and told me that he understood, but that I was to meet him in his room when I was done so that we could leave together. I bowed to him and left his room silently.

My room didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would, but just thinking of the speech I had to do chipped away at the wall hiding my sadness just a little bit more. It was easy not to feel sad when I though of the loss and emptiness, what really hurt was when I thought of the happiness we once had. How far we had come together. From rags and huts to silks and castles. I felt Renji's night kimono between my fingers. Smooth, cool red satin.

I gulped down the knot in my throat and continued looking for items he may have wanted. His goggles from his academy days, photos of all our friends, and other small possessions that I wished he would keep with him in the next life. I also wrote him a private message that I wanted to send him off with.

When I was finally ready I made my way to my brothers' room. He was dressed in the formal funeral kimonos used by all of the captains, with a few noble accessories here and there. He looked at the black box with an artificial lily flower attached to the white centre ribbon.

"Are you ready? We should leave now, we would draw less attention to ourselves if we arrive early." He told me. I couldn't disagree less. The Seireitei Women's Association would probably want to come up to me and wish me condolences. Which was what I wanted to avoid. They are gone and it hurts, but being reminded of it every single time someone asks you if you are alright or says that they are sorry for your loss just feels like they are all taking a stab at a fresh wound.

Brother held me tightly to him as he flash stepped towards the ceremony sight.

BYAKUYA

She was doing remarkably well for someone in her position. I was aware of the fact that if we were early that people might approach her. At first, she tried to smile and thank them and assure then that she was alright, eventually however, her smile dropped and she began to look wary. After preparations were prepared and the speakers were ready and accounted for, I took my seat next to her to wait for the last few people to arrive. She sighed in relief when people who were approaching her quickly ran to their seats, probably intimidated by my presence.

She however seemed bolder since she hugged me last night. She seemed tense during our morning meal, but she still spoke her mind and became more confident as the morning progressed. I marvelled at how strong she was. Losing a loved one is never easy for those who remain, however all she cared for are gone and she is the only one who remains, that is inexplicitly more painful.

The ceremony began and I opened it with an introduction and I spoke to the audience about Abarai's diligence and determination in the office and on the battle field.

"He will be sorely missed, finding a lieutenant of his calibre would be close to impossible, he surely set the calibre for the sixth divisions standards high, and to honour him we will keep things that way." I told them as I ended my speech and called on the next speaker, his previous captain Kenpachi Zaraki. I took my seat next to Rukia and she gave me a genuine smile, even if it was small and short lived.

"Thank you." She said softly and I nodded inconspicuously letting her know I heard her. Zaraki spoke about how proud he was having taught Renji all he knew. I had to resist the urge to rebuke him. While it was true that Renji started off in the fifth division under Aizen and then transferred to the eleventh division under Zaraki, it was me who taught him what he needed to develop his bankai.

There were other speakers as well, the captain general Shunsui about his ethic, Yumichika third seat of the eleventh division and Ikkaku lieutenant of the eleventh division about his friendship and fighting skills, Rangiku lieutenant of the tenth division about him being her drinking partner, Izaru lieutenant of the third division, Momo lieutenant of the fifth division and Shuhei lieutenant of the ninth division about their time at the Soul Reaper Academy together, and finally it was Rukia's turn.

She inhaled deeply before hiding her discomfort and hurt behind her mask of indifference. She walked to the podium and began her speech.

"You don't know how happy it makes me to hear all the stories you have told about Renji and about all of the best characteristics he had. He has been my best friend, my brother since the days of our childhood over a century ago in district seventy-eight, Hanging Dog.

We met during a dispute at the market place where he and three other friends of ours were running away from a violent merchant. They were being chased into a dead end and I noticed that the merchant was wearing a knife. It wasn't uncommon for people to abuse or even kill children in the streets, so when I entered the ally I tripped the man allowing them to escape. Renji insisted that I join their group because it was easier for young children to survive if we stuck together and worked as a team.

What most people don't know about him is that Renji was actually sent to district seventy-eight along with his older brother. They were killed in an accident in the rice fields in the world of the living and passed on together. He said that he didn't have a family name since he and his brother were brought up apart from their parents. Sadly, soon after they first arrived, his brother was caught and killed for trying to steal food for the both of them. That is why Renji chose the name 'Abarai' for his family name, it was the name of his elder brother." She said and took a few calming breathes before continuing. Both I and anyone who couldn't mask their surprise as well as I, were shocked at the revelation. I had never thought much about his name, since most people in the Seireitei and the nobility have family names.

"We always had problems but as long as we had each other none of them seemed so terrible. I would enjoy teasing Renji because he, well anyone who knew him knew that he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed." She said and smiled when many people in the audience laughed.

"Renji was always afraid of climbing trees and he never was really good at concentrating his spiritual pressure into focal points. I remember how humiliating it was for all of use when I had to teach the four boys how to fish in a lake, they stormed through the shallow lake and disturbed the resident fish. He thought he was so cool trying to use a spear to catch the fish when each and every time they swam free, once he even stabbing his own foot by accident.

Something strange happened once when we were fishing. Many white flowers floated along the river, they were incredibly beautiful but as soon as I picked out up and took interest in something girly, Renji saw it as a prime opportunity to try and put flowers in my hair. By the end of the day we went hungry but the laughter was worth it, that and Renji's lack of hair. I smelt like flowers for weeks after that day no matter how hard I scrubbed myself and Renji's tuffs of lost hair finally started growing back." She smiled at the memories. I didn't. It's impossible to say for sure, but at Hisana's funeral I and everyone who attended her funeral each sent a flower adrift with our wishes for her with them.

"Renji was always incredible brave. One day we all set off for the forests to see if we could find any fruit baring trees, we never stole if we didn't have to, so when we found a few trees that bore different fruits we thought we saved our hides from horrid deaths at the market. We were so absorbed in our endeavours of harvesting fruit that we didn't notice a hollow that was approaching us.

Since I was the best tree climber in our group, I was sent up to get the tree fruits. When the hollow emerged and came at us, none of my friends would leave until I was safely down from the tree I had climbed. I begged them all to run but they refused to leave their little sister behind. Renji gathered the courage to climb the tree high enough to help me down, I was petrified and unable to move.

While he was getting me down from the tree, out three other friends tried to distract the hollow and draw it away from us. The hollow brutally killed them, not even bothering to eat them, because it was Renji and I that it was after because our spiritual pressure led it out that far. We both understood now why those sinfully wonderful fruit trees had grown so large and so well. Everyone else probably knew the dangers of the forest that we did not.

We managed to run away to safety and we were distantly aware of Shinigami that dispatched the hollow. We still went back for our friends' bodies that same night, though we didn't touch the fruit. I was tired and sore from our experience but Renji told me to sleep while he found a good place to lay our friends to rest.

When I woke up on the hill overlooking the seventy-eighth district, I saw three large mounds on the top of the hill. Renji had fallen asleep beside me some time while I slept, but he was full of scratches and cuts and he was covered head to toe in dirt. While I slept, he dug three graves and buried our three friends by himself. He didn't want me to have to see what was left of them, or dirty my own hands like he had.

He told me that he decided on the hill because no matter how ugly the district we lived in was, they would always be able to see the most beautiful sunsets, sunrises and star showers. Renji was incredibly caring and considerate of others even if he tried not to show it when he got older." She told us. It was incredibly difficult for me to hear about everything they had to endure when they were young. It was even harder for me to accept that both Renji and those other three boys were all better brothers to her than I have been over the years.

"We swore to each other over our friends' graves that we would become soul reapers, that we wouldn't struggle anymore, that we wouldn't ever let our friends die like that ever again, and that we would always stay together.

We entered the Soul Reaper Academy together and because I was afraid that Renji was too dumb to pass the entrance exam, I switched our test papers around. He ended up becoming a student in the advanced class, and I ended up just barely passing and was put in one of the less than impressive classes." She said and while a few of the audience laughed at her mischievousness, I held my hand other my face and shook my head at her. She looked at me and smiled. She knew I held rules and the law close to my chest but here she openly admits to cheating!

"We grew apart over the months as we didn't spend as much time together anymore, and while he made new friends, particularly Izaru and Momo, I secluded myself more and focused more on my studies. I started developing more complex feelings for Renji during those months. And he tried to show off more than usual whenever we had time to catch up on what we have been doing since last seeing each other." She said and looked at me briefly before smiling sadly.

"Then one day I was called to an empty hall by the head of the academy, he said that I had a visitor. That was when I first met my brother, Byakuya Kuchiki. He offered me a place in his family. I actually originally declined his request." She smiled wistfully before continuing.

"I didn't want to be separated from Renji, especially because of my blossoming feelings towards him, but brother told me to think about his offer and that he would return in a weeks' time to receive my final answer. I didn't intend to change my answer to him, but his offer kept running through my mind. I decided that I would decide brothers offer if Renji asked me to stay with him, that if he felt the same way for mw as I felt for him.

Renji being the idiot he was told me that he wished me the best, he told me how lucky I was, he broke my heart into a million pieces. It seemed that he changed completely. His achievements going to his head and success being all that he cared about anymore. His blatant disregard for my feelings made me turn away from him, and I accepted my brothers offer, to be adopted into his family as his younger sister.

I developed many puppy love crushes along the years since then, but what Renji didn't tell me was that he wanted me to stay, he just couldn't tell me to stay with him when he believed I would be happier elsewhere. He told me during him proposal to me six months ago, that ever since I left the academy he kept training harder and harder, he wanted to try and become someone worthy of the 'Kuchiki princess'." She cringed and sighed. So that was what made her accept my offer. I felt angered and humiliated for her to say that I was her second choice, her fall back choice if Abarai rejected her.

"During the beginning of the war when Ichigo Kurosaki and Renji battled my brother, Renji told me that if her managed to defeat my brother in battle he would ask to marry on top of demanding my freedom. Things didn't work out for him however. Brother beat him senseless!" She said and the entire audience burst into laughter. I could feel the heat rushing to my face as fellow captains' eyes were trained on me.

"He said that after his fights with Ichigo and brother that he almost gave up on me again. He knew he wouldn't ever be able to beat either of them in battle and seeing how close I was to Ichigo, he decided to try and rekindle our friendship instead.

And when we were together again it was as if the forty years apart didn't even happen. Really nothing changed other than his funny eyebrows." She said and snickered along with the audience.

"I heard that the real reasoning behind the tattoos he had in the beginning was that during kido practice, a hado burnt them off. He looked weirder without eyebrows so he had some tattooed on and decided that he liked tattoos and over the years he had the pattern of his zanpakuto, Zabimaru tattooed across his body.

Eventually we all grew closer together and he decided on trying to win me back a third time, this time all or nothing. My feelings also returned over time and when he proposed to me I accepted after some more thought.

On our wedding day brother walked me down the isle and Ichigo was his best man, although he insisted that he and Renji were supposed to swap spots, which led to the fight and the destruction of my wedding cake. Eventually I told them to marry each other. Later that night we made up and we were married at the after party instead. Hey, at least it was an original wedding!" She joked and I couldn't help the small twitches of my lips trying to smile at the memory. I was so happy that I wouldn't have to marry her away, but later finding her crying and alone, I felt guilty and decided to get them together in the same room to work out their differences.

"These last six months together felt like a dream, they passed so quickly that I can't even remember the simplest things that I swore before that I would never forget. Still, I can never forget Renji. He was the best friend, brother, and husband a woman could have, and in time I know he would've been an excellent father as well." She said and a silent tear discretely fell from her eye as she stepped away from the podium and came back to her seat next to me.

I squeezed her arm for support and finished off the ceremony. Once we returned home she said she wanted to have a long bath. The servants told us that her old room, the room next to my own was not prepared for her. She nodded and I let her got on the promise that she will return back to me after her bath and before dinner, she also insisted on having normal food instead of the soup that the cook had been brewing for her the entire day. I sighed at her stubbornness. She could have her way if the check up with Isane goes well after her bath.

About an hour later Isane came to look over her recovery and determined that she should be fine to eat normal foods again, and that I could be more lenient with her. After out diner we retired back to my room, only she insisted that she should sleep in her own room and that if I wanted to check on her that it wasn't far, reluctantly I agreed.

Now she sat before me with an English board game called Scrabble and taught me the rules of the game. It wasn't interesting until I won the first game. Then we played a second game, which she won after using a few of the words I had used in my previous game. We played many games that she had brought over from the world of the living until she became tired. She packed up her games and took them back to her old room with her when she left.

I decided to keep my ikebana for another day, and I was too tired to practice calligraphy with any grace, so I decided on going out into my private gardens for a walk. I had much to think about and many things to decide on for our future. The elders had been pestering me over the last few months about having an heir. That is impossible for me to do at this present time. And they even threatened to over throw me and exile Rukia if I failed to uphold my duties. Of course, it was all talk, even though they weren't weak, they weren't nearly a match for either of us in battle and a civil dispute would entitle me to exile them instead. They constantly attempt to belittle me or manipulate my decisions. I'm worried that Rukia's fragile state would be exploited and she might be used against me somehow.

On my way back to my room I stopped to check in on Rukia. I thought she was asleep at first until I moved to walk away and heard her sniffle softly. She probably wanted to get away from me so that she wouldn't have to cry in front of me. I thought about intruding on her personal space and trying to comfort her but the mere though of not knowing I might comfort her at all sent me away to my own room.


	3. Chapter 3

RUKIA

I woke up early again, but my eyes were sore and dry. I decided that today I would leave or the world of the living to see if I could help Ichigo's family and friends prepare a proper send off for him. I ordered the servants to prepare my gigai for travel.

I looked through my clothes from the world of the living. I ended up wearing a skirt, leggings and sneakers with a long-sleeved shirt, on a last thought I look out Ichigo's hoodie that he left with me a long time ago and wore it over my clothes, then if it appeared as if I was fashion challenged. It was rare for me to ever use makeup but seeing how abused my features looked, I applied a little about to hide the reddening of my nose and eyes, and added a little touch of eye liner and light blue eyeshadow and some transparent strawberry lip-gloss.

I went to the dining room expecting to eat breakfast alone because brother would usually still be resting, but I was surprised to see in sitting there quietly waiting for me.

"Good morning." I said and took my seat next to him. He gave me an Icey glare.

"Good morning, and where do you think you are going?" He said only barely politely. I looked at him carefully trying to determine how upset he was and how best to avoid conflict.

"I need to go to the world of the living, to help Ichigo's friends and family as best I can. I wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't." I told him and opted for trying to eat as quickly as possible, so that I could run away quickly before he tries to make me stay. He called over a servant.

"Prepare my gigai, I will accompany my sister to the world of the living." He told her and she quickly scurried off. "Rukia, I am still the head of this family and I would appreciate to be respected as such. You can't just leave when you choose to, you need to ask me first." He chided me.

"You want to come with me? No, no you really don't, trust me. You don't really know these humans like I do- "I was cut off by him.

"I don't need to know anything about them to be there for you. That and I need to make sure you come home." He said and quickly finished his breakfast. "Wait for me by the Senkaimon, I will get my gigai ready." He said and left the table.

I decided that running off without him would be more trouble than I wanted so I dutifully waited for him. Once he was dressed and equipped with anything he may need in the world of the living we walked through the Senkaimon into Karakura town. I almost felt like crying at how peaceful they town looked compared to my own inner turmoil.

The first place I decided to go to was the Kurosaki clinic. Ichigo's father was home and crying about something. I rang the doorbell and waited for a brief moment until the door opened and I was crushed into a bone crushing hug.

"Oh Rukia, my precious third daughter! We are so glad to see you! My idiot son went and got himself killed! And my sweet Karin decided to join him because she knows that he wouldn't be able to look after himself!" He wailed and crushed my tighter into his bearhug.

"Isshin, I mean dad, I'm really sorry about Karin and Ichigo. I wasn't there to protect him it all my f- "I shut my mouth mid-sentence went he covered it with his hand.

"Don't ever think that. I'm glad that you weren't there Rukia. It hurts you know? My wife left me so long ago and I decided to become human again just to be with her, and now my son and one of my daughters have been sent to the afterlife. It's a giant waste of the life that they should have had but don't you forget, they aren't truly gone just yet, they were sent somewhere in the Soul Society. I sent Karin on myself but I couldn't find Ichigo." He told me. I gasped in realisation. I haven't truly lost them yet! They are still in my world!

"Shouldn't we search- "I began but was cut off once again when Isshin shook him head and smiled sadly.

"I'm sure they will be fine. Ichigo will find his sister first before anything, and im sure that he wouldn't want to face you as powerless as he is now. Give him time to adapt to his new life, he will find you when he is ready, trust me." He said and put we down and invited me inside. Only just seeing brother he burst out laughing. "Kuchiki?!" he was quickly silenced when brother shoved him out of the way and invited himself inside. I gaped at my brother's impolite behaviour. "Brother!?" He just looked ahead like he didn't do anything wrong or out of character.

"Sister!" exclaimed Yuzu from the sofa she was sitting on, she leapt to her feet and ran other to hug me, sadly she was now a good head taller than me. "I'm so glad you are here! I really missed you! Ichigo and Karin they, they..." She trailed off and started crying. I pat her back and swallowed the dry lump in my throat.

"I know, but its going to be alright, I promise." I hushed. She nodded and pulled me over to the kitchen.

"Are you and your friend hungry or thirsty?" She asked us, I replied that I would have a soda and brother had banana flavoured milk.

"Hey Rukia? Orihime is in the bathroom at the moment, but while I have you there are a few things I want to give you." Said Isshin and gently nudged me to go up the stairs to Ichigo's old bedroom. He opened the door for me and walked over to Ichigo's desk draw. He took something out and put it in my hands.

"This is Ichigo's iPod. I remember how the two of you used to be inseparable, always listening to music together and talking about whatever was on your mind. I know these songs were a mix that the two of you made up together, he would want you to have it. You can take the docking station with it as well, don't worry they are powered with batteries not electricity, you can keep them at home. And no, before you ask, I don't want Ichigo to return here. I know better than anyone that the wo worlds weren't meant to mix. He is where he was always meant to be now, as much as I would like to see him, he needs to live his own life, away from us. The living needs to recover and move forward. That being said, you are always welcome to visit us." He told me and pulled me towards Ichigo's closet. I used to sleep in his over sized closet, but after the war he decided to do it up as a proper closet.

"I don't know if you want them but these are for you. Ichigo bought you a few dresses and other girly clothes for when you visited in case you didn't bring clothes with you, and there's still a few of his jackets and hoodies in here if you…hey are you alright?" he asked me in concern and put his hands on my shoulders. I covered my face with my hands trying to hide the tears. Its true, the happy memories definitely hurt more than the loss.

"I'm fine." I said and sat down on Ichigo's bed. Isshin sighed and told me to sort out what I wanted to keep and that he would check up on me in a while to see if I was ok. I nodded and he left the room, only for my brother to enter after him.

"Rukia? Do you want to go home?" He asked me and sat on the chair next to Ichigo's desk.

"No. I came here to see if I could help them. It just hurts so much for them to be concerned for me even though they are in pain. And stupid Ichigo. His closet is filled with clothes that he bought for me. We aren't ever going to be like we once were even after he finds me again. And do you know how this must hurt Orihime? She knows that Ichigo and I were really close, but he should have bought her pretty dresses and teddies instead of me." I told him and shot up. After looking for it for a while I finally found the stuffed lion toy that used to be Kon. I hugged it to my chest. Just then the bedroom door opened and in walked Orihime in nothing but a towel.

"Oh, hello Rukia. I didn't think you would come." She said and closed the door behind her. Brother looked highly uncomfortable being near an indecent woman.

"Orihime are you alright? How are keeping? Are you…" I trailed off when I saw her stomach. It was big. "Are you stress eating?" I finished lamely, though it was quite obvious that she was pregnant, and brother bit his cheeks to stop himself from speaking.

"I'm four months pregnant. It happened just after Ichigo and I got married. You missed our wedding, remember?" I cringed at the accusation in her words. It wasn't that I didn't want to go, I just wasn't well at the time, I had just taken the captains test and I needed to recover from injuries I obtained.

"Yes, im really sorry about that. I wasn't well at the time, it was just after the captain tests. Congratulations though! For the marriage and the baby! And I'm also really sorry about what happened to Ichigo…" I trailed off. When I heard her start crying. I got up off the floor and walked over to her, I was going to try and hug her, but she slapped me. The sound echoed through the room, it was probably even heard from down stairs.

"Get out Rukia." Orihime all but growled and clutched her towel tighter around herself. Brother went from uncomfortable and embarrassed to angry and defensive in a heartbeat.

"Rukia, I'm glad you didn't come to our wedding. Just once on my special day Ichigo's eyes were only on me, instead of on you, you have no idea how happy I was when he chose me over you. It didn't take long until we found out that we were having a baby. We were so happy. He even promised me that he would stop going to the Soul Society, that he would focus on his life here and now. Then he got an assignment from the Soul Society about killing the remaining arancar's. It wasn't his reasonability! He had his own family to think about! You were his best friend, why did you let them involve Ichigo!? You could have protected him and you didn't! My husband is dead and its all because of you! My baby will never know his father because of you! Were you hoping for this to happen? If Ichigo died he would go to the Soul Society and then there would be nothing stopping you two from being together. How could you be so selfish?! Get out Rukia!" She screamed at me and screeched when brother got up to follow me out of the room.

"Be silent, human. I have no interest in something like you." He said without sparing her a glance and made his way down the stairs before I could. I followed him silently and Yuzu got up off the sofa again and came to hug me.

"Rukia! I heard everything! Please forgive Orihime? Honestly she was blaming herself because she was unable to save ether him or Karin." She said and rubbed my back.

"It's alright, I don't hold anything against her, especially since she is right. I should have asked for Ichigo to be left alone. I told him myself that I wanted him to live a full life as a human." I told her and tried to smile.

"I told you to never blame yourself, don't you remember that? Orihime isn't alone. I'm here and I will do my best to be a splendid father and Yuzu will be the perfect aunt! There is nothing to worry about!" He told me and messed up my hair the way Kaien used to.

"I see. Is there anything you need help with? Funeral preparations? When is the funeral?" I asked him and he let me got to go sit on the sofa by the T.V.

"Everything is taken care of, don't you worry. The funeral is the day after tomorrow. You are welcome to sleep in Karins bed if you want to stay with us?" He asked and I smiled sadly at him.

"I'm afraid I won't be quiet welcome, but thank you for the offer. I think we will be headed home. What time and what venue is Ichigo's burial?" I asked, trying not to sound as hurt as I was.

"Its at nine in the morning, the same place where we had Misaki buried, do you remember it?" He asked me a bit sadly.

"I do. I won't be late, but if it's alright I don't think I should give a speech. I don't want to upset Orihime anymore, especially in her condition. I understand the pain of losing a child and I would wish that on anyone, especially not a dear friend." I told him and headed for the door

"Rukia?" Isshin called my attention back to him. "If its alright with you, would you like Yuzu to pack some of Ichigo's things for you and leave it at Kisuke's for you? I know Ichigo took a lot of time looking for the perfect accessories for you, it would be a shame to leave them here." He asked me and I smiled.

"That would be kind of you, please. Also, if there is anything that Ichigo really liked, bring it along as well? I will give him his things when I see him again." I told him and he nodded.

"I will miss you! I will see you at the funeral, and don't look sad, think of it as a party!" He yelled as brother and I left their house. I caught a glimpse of Orihime through Ichigo's bedroom window, she was dressed in her night clothes and was crying into Ichigo's pillow. I sighed and touched my stinging cheek as I made my way to the Senkaimon brother opened up for us.

BYAKUYA

I closed the Senkaimon after us and walked back home with Rukia. She was right, I definitely didn't understand humans well. Rukia was clearly not at fault for anything yet she blamed herself and her friend blamed her as well. Sure, her friend wasn't wrong about Rukia speaking out in Ichigo's defence, but one way or another trouble was bound to find the Kurosaki boy.

"Rukia. Do I ever lie?" I asked her and we stopped by the compounds entrance.

"Not that I know of." She replied to me looking at me sadly.

"Well then I want to listen to me and remember my words." I told her and pushed her forward gently with my hand her back. "Trouble always finds Kurosaki, no matter how hard he tried to stay out of conflict. Isshin and I both know that being a soul reaper was his birth right, he would have felt slighted if you had tried to protect him anyway. Nothing is your fault, it was merely unfortunate circumstance. Now let me heal your cheek before it swells." I told her as we stopped outside of her bedroom. I waved my hand over her bright red handprint and healed it soothingly.

"Thank you. And deep down I know you are right but I will still always regret not even trying to get him out of it. And some of the things she said hurt more than that. I knew Ichigo would be unhappy if I attended his wedding because he always felt bound to me. I was their he wouldn't have been able to take his vows. I can't lie and say there was nothing between Ichigo and I. I agreed to marry Renji because I wanted everyone to be happy. I wanted Ichigo to live a normal human life. So, when he asked me to try and be in a relationship with him, I had to tell him no and with a good reason. I feel even worse because although I loved Renji and even though he was like a brother to me, my best friend, I never truly learnt to love him in a romantic way again. I married him believing that I would learn to rekindle my romantic feelings, but I never did. That isn't a reason to marry someone. I feel horrible compared to you who married for love." She told me as tears cascaded down her cheeks.

I didn't know what to say to comfort her so hesitantly I hugged her. Loosely so that is she was uncomfortable she could brush me off. After a while she hugged me back tightly. I don't know what possessed me but I ended up telling her one of my most hurtful, close kept secrets.

"Hisana was never in love with me either. We were friends back when she lived in the Rukongai, and we became closer over the years. I fell in love with her and wanted her to be my wife. She agreed and used the benefits of her elevated status to try and find you. We hardly ever spent time together as man and wife. I resented you for many, many years. I knew, even before we married that she would never love me romantically. Yet my heart hoped, and I asked her anyway. I know what she did, she did for you, even after leaving me with nothing but memories, she passed on her search to me." I told her and observed how she quietened in my arms before she spoke softly.

"I knew it. All those years. You truly did hate me." She told me and tried to step away from me. I sighed and tried to hug her tighter.

"I hated you before I found you. When I saw you for the first time, it almost killed me to look at the beautiful face of a woman so like the woman I loved. I stayed away from you because I didn't know what to say to you. I loved Hisana and I broke the clan's law for her. I didn't even know you yet but I did the same for you. I am not like human souls. I loved your sister completely. And in turn I loved what she loved, you. I couldn't talk to you because I couldn't tell you what I wanted to tell you most, about her. But for you, I broke laws and promises over the years. I couldn't keep my word to my parents, and promised Hisana that I would never tell you about her, but I did, because I loved the person with me as much as I loved the people who left me. I will always protect you, as part of my promise you your sister, but also because I choose to. I know how you felt with Abarai, and even though your intentions weren't horrible, one way or another the marriage wouldn't have worked out, at least you parted as friends." I told her and let her go. "I am going to get changed for diner, I will see you in the dining room." I told her and left for my own room.

It hurt me to tell her all of my hearts doubts about my marriage to Hisana. But time lessened the hurt enough for me to be able to talk more openly to Rukia. And she certainly was right, the closer you look at her and then Hisana, they only look alike at first glance.

After our meal which was eaten in contemplative silence we both bid each other goodnight. I was fairly happy about her staying closer to me than she used to. I used to make a habit of checking in on her before I retired from my nightly walk around the gardens, but I decided it was improper once she was married. Hearing her reasoning for her marriage certainly was a surprise to me. She wasn't wrong to reject Kurosaki, and she probably like her sister, intended to learn to love the man she married, but never got the chance to.

After a while of sitting in silence, I decided to seek her company, perhaps we could play another game of hers. I got up and walked to her bedroom door. I faintly heard her singing something when I knocked on her door. The singing stopped immediately. The she opened the door cautiously.

"What are you doing? What were you singing?" I asked he and immediately her cheeks flushed and she pressed a few buttons on the glowing screen of the device Isshin gave her.

"Oh, I'm not doing anything. No really. And I wasn't really singing, I was more or less humming along to the music." She said and waved the device in front of me.

"What music?" I asked, curious about the device she held. Music in our world was mostly instrumental, only the most beautiful voices because vocal entertainment among the nobility. I couldn't help but be curious about the music she liked.

"Oh…its music from Ichigo's iPod. Its music that he and I collected together over the years where we were together. Its not something you would like! The music and even the singing are very different to your likes!" She told me and tried to dissuade me from listening to her music.

"May I…please hear a song?" I asked her. And she gaped at me.

"I…sure, just let me find a song you wouldn't mind hearing." She said and tried to change the song she had been listening to. I narrowed my eyes and pulled the cord out of the device, letting the music blare to life.

' _You know I'm not a saint, But I can make you pray_

 _So, get down on your knees, give me a reason I should stay_

 _Trapped inside this madness, I know you want to have this_

 _So, I can take advantage, Savage'_

The music wasn't terrible, it was something one would need to grow accustomed to, the words were interesting enough. They seemed almost provocative. Judging by Rukia's embarrassment I suppose I am correct.

"it didn't seem terrible. Perhaps we could play a few games and listen to it?" I offered to try and amend my actions and make her feel less embarrassed.

"Sure. But music from the world of the living is very different, some of it might be offensive to you." She told me and looked up slowly and hesitantly.

"I'm sure I won't be offended by a mere song." I told her and say on the floor opposite her bed while I waited for her to get out her games.

We played many of her games and I listened to many different types of songs, sometimes when a new song started she would quickly try to make a grab so the device to change it, of course I stopped her and watched her bit her lip, waiting for my displeasure that never came. She was truly surprised, and so was I. I admit it wasn't all pleasant but it wasn't bad. Eventually she stopped trying to change the song and became more confident. And unconsciously she started singing. She actually sang along to the music very well, but I understand now why she would have preferred to choose what music we listen to. It was quiet enchanting to hear her sing these modern songs, and with so much feeling, as if some of them had significance to her, and they probably did.

"Brother." She called me from across the Monopoly game board.

"Yes?" I asked when she didn't continue speaking. She looked up from her bent position. I hardly ever feared anything but she definitely mastered the Kuchiki family glare.

"I will never forgive you if you tell anyone about my bad singing. Its our secret alright?" she asked me in a deceivingly sweet voice. I narrowed my eyes at her and decided not to answer her. I never would have mentioned it to anyone, but now I might. She wouldn't keep that promise of hers anyway and I don't enjoy being threatened. Unknowingly my mouth twisted into a smirk at my amusing thoughts.

"I'm serious!" she snapped at me from across the board and hissed when the dice she rolled had her thrown in jail. I couldn't help but smile wider.

"I never would have thought of it, but since you really want it hidden so badly I might let it slip…I know you would forgive me over time. Your threat is meaningless." I told her and with every new word her eyes grew more and more horrified. "But if I told anyone about how lovely my sister sings I would no long be the only person to hear it, and that displease me. I won't tell your secret if I can help it." I told her after a moment, if only to wipe the betrayed look off her face. Her face quickly took on a look of disbelief and she snorted in a very unladylike manner.

"I couldn't sing to save my life! Ichigo was always telling me that I ruined his favourite songs." Despite how mean it sounded, she still smiled and handed me the dice.

"He was probably just embarrassed. Your singing if lovely." I told her honestly and she narrowed her eyes at me as if contemplating whether of not I was teasing her. I smiled at her and she quickly looked down at the board.

"You know you have a nice smile. You should try and smile more often." She told me and I frowned.

"I don't quiet believe that. Whenever I cracked even the tiniest of smiles the people around me act strangely." I told, recounting the numerous times in my life where their people dropped what they were doing in shock, stared like fools, fainted or ran screaming. Surprisingly she just smiled and laughed at me as if she knew something I didn't.

"Well you are attractive, most woman, no, all woman and probably more men than you would care you know of would be draw to it, fainting and staring is a characteristic of appreciation. And since it probably doesn't happen often, when ever it is shown, people can't help but be amazed." She told me making my face heat up.

"I am not that attractive; besides I am certain that the majority of people around me fear me because of my power and status." I told her, but she just sighed and shook her head.

"To many people in the Soul Society you power and status only increase your attractiveness. Good looks, influence and wealth are three things that matter most to the majority of people in both this world and the world of the living." She told me and looked up at me. "And you win the game, I no longer have any credit. And in the future unless we are wide awake and have a lot of time on our hands we can't play this game. It takes way too long to finish, especially with only wo players." She told me.

"Rukia if looks, wealth and power are all that matter then why didn't you ever think of marrying into nobility? Not that I would have let you, mind you." I told her and almost filched back at the Icey glare she shot at me.

"I said people find it attractive, that is no reason to marry someone. Who wants a loveless marriage? Who could be with someone who they share nothing in common with? You should know better than anyone that marrying for love is all that matters. I didn't say that I didn't love Renji, I said I wasn't in love with him. I don't know about you and my sister but I know that you truly loved her, and a love like that it the most important beautiful thing in the entire world! I would have chosen to stay with Renji instead of accepting your offer back then if he would have only told me that he loved me. And back then I was in love with him. It could have worked but the feeling faded after I was rejected." She said to me heatedly as she neatly packed away the game. She reminded me of my previous anger of being chosen second to him.

"And why might I ask his you chose to embarrass me during Abarai's funeral yesterday? You basically made it sound like I was your last option! I always wondered why you accepted my request after a week of thinking, and it was because someone else told you to? I can't help but be insulted." I said and the look on her face changed from anger to shame and returned to anger.

"Says the man who adopted me without giving me the real reason! Can't you accept that perhaps we both went about our decisions the wrong way? Even our love lives are similar!" She all but hissed at me. I gulped slowly. She wasn't wrong but I won't let her know that she bested me in an argument.

"My motives were pure, and I couldn't tell you anything that my promise forbade me from." I told her, at least trying to have the last word.

"Right, so you could conveniently decide to break that promise almost fifty years later. Did you only tell me because you thought you were going to die? You saved my life after changing my life abruptly and abandoning me to the elders and my new life!" She hissed at me. This situation was very quickly getting out of hand. I knew better than anyone how badly she was received by the rest of the family, and there wasn't an excuse for how I treated her.

"I told you because I wanted our past to die there and a new beginning to opened up for us." I told her calmly. She seemed to accept my words but it seemed that out pleasant evening was now over and my welcome has been revoked. I sighed and got up from my position on the floor.

"Good night, Rukia. Please inform me of any decisions you may make of leaving, if you intend to do so, it is my business to know such things." I told her and walked out of her room.

"Good night. I enjoyed playing with you." She called out to me before I opened my bedroom door. I heard her get up and I assumed that she was going to close her door, instead she walked up to me.

"I think I am going to go train my bankai. There is an open area for training purposes not far off from the stealth forces training grounds, I will be there." She told me, and bowed before turning back to her room. I strode up to her and grabbed her wrist.

"Please, you still aren't fully recovered. Wait until you are sure that the bleeding has stopped before training." I asked her but she groaned in displeasure.

"I won't do anything strenuous, im only working on my ice abilities, not my physical abilities, I should be fine." She told me a showed me a shall smile.

"very well, I shall concede only if you allow me to accompany you, my own bankai is still a bit rusty, it could do with more practice." I told her and she nodded. "However, you should wear something warmer over your nightwear, it is cool out." I added, and at the unimpressed look she gave me I smiled. "What, can't you feel the cold at all?" I asked her playfully.

"No, generally ice users don't feel the cold, but I suppose that feeling it and being affected by it are entirely different. Will you wait for me while I change?" She conceded. I nodded and told her that I would be waiting for her in the gardens. It was rather quite remarkable how easily our argument blew over.

After a few minutes she joined me, but didn't wait for me to assist her and she instead sped away in the direction of our destination. Perhaps she was still slightly upset after all. When we stopped she walked up to me?

"Brother, I have been wanting to learn something for a while now but I didn't know who to ask. I thought about asking Yoruichi, but I don't know her well enough, and I think captain Soifon would be too extreme in her lessons. Not that you are my last choice! I never really planned to ask anyone. But since you do know the techniques, I can't help but be curious about the potential it could have for me. Would you teach me Shunko? And perhaps a more advanced flash step? At least once I am fully recovered?" She asked me, staring curiously and hopefully up at me. I couldn't help but me happy that she asked me for help. The only problem being, as good as I was at learning, I don't think teaching is what I am best at. Still she never asks me for anything so I can't say no.

"Yes, I will teach you once you are recovered, but you will need to have training uniforms tailored for yourself before you begin training in Shunko. Flash step isn't too difficult, you will master it easily. I will try to teach you to the best of my abilities, but I am afraid I will have to ask captain Soifon or the cat devil for help in teaching you. If may be extreme, but I don't feel as if I could raise my hand to you, even for training purposes." I told her and she looked happy yet disappointed. "I will teach you all I know of how to use and achieve Shunko, but the combat it something that I will leave to them, I will still be your primary mentor." I told her and she looked happier.

"Perhaps when I am stronger we can train our bankai together as well. Im actually working on techniques a lot like your own." She said cheekily and then added, "But I won't show you until I am sure it is perfect." And she flashed a reasonable distance away from me. In all truth, I didn't need much practice with my bankai. Once Nodt was killed by Rukia my bankai returned to me. I needed to readapt to it and control it again as I once did, but it wasn't long before it responded loyally to me once again, and because of that I had enough time to improve my shikai as well.

I moved my bankai in patterns and formations, some old and some new, but my real attention was on Rukia. He bankai was breath-taking, but extremely dangerous to her own body and to anything immediately close to her. She could control the air around he up to a certain distance and turn anything in her range into solid ice. Her ice is cold enough to freeze even the most fearsome fire type bankai, however any damage to her body could be fatal. Her body become fragile, like a China-doll and if she tries to call back her bankai too fast she could shatter her body.

I couldn't have taken my eyes off of her for a minute before a number of my petals few at me against my will. I quickly changed my stance and tried to shield myself from my disobedient bankai, however, shrill laughter in the distance made me look back to where Rukia was openly staring at me and laughing. A few of the petals floated by my face closely enough for me to see that they were covered in her ice. She froze them and controlled them as her own. Genius, and oh so dangerous. I noticed that while she had me distracted she was freezing even more of my petals, and what's worse is that I couldn't call back my bankai. And I couldn't attack her directly because she might be hurt. When the last of my patience withered I flash stepped a mere inch in front of her. I don't know what she saw in my face but any joy in her eyes quickly faded and was replaced with fear. Now I felt like the bad guy.

"I'm sorry. I was only playing with you. I honestly didn't even know if it would work. I tried creating ice replicas of them but it took too much precision. Are you at least impressed with my ingenuity?" She asked me softly. As upset as I was with her meddling with something she had no right to, I couldn't possibly be angry with her for just trying to have fun.

"I'm not angry with you, though I admit that I am upset. Having someone control my bankai makes me nervous. I am indeed impressed…why don't you show we what you have learned?" I asked her, reigning in my temper as best I could. She didn't seem convinced and looked very intimidated again but nodded her head and produced a hall of ice mirrors. She walked into one and stepped into it.

The mirrors all shattered into tiny fragment, almost like little snow flakes and blew up into the air like a giant blizzard, the blizzard grew and grew and consumed much of the clearing. Anything one snowflake touched became frozen, anything frozen that was touched once more was shattered. It truly was impressive. And just a fierce as the storm had been, it disappeared and formed a giant mirror which Rukia stepped out of. That certainly wasn't a technique she used in her captain's exam. The mirror shattered and she walked up to me proudly.

"Truly remarkable. Well done. But I think it is getting late let's head back home." I told her and waited for her confirmation, however she just looked panicked.

"Alright, I will be right behind you." She told me, and smiled nervously. I called my petal back to me to once more become my blade.

"I don't mind waiting for you." I told her and he smile dropped, she sighed out a giant snow cloud. She began mumbling something under her breath and then gasped when a large crack formed across the left side of her face. Her eyes widened and she bit her lip. So that was it, she still couldn't control her release and retrieval properly.

I walked up to her to try and heal her cheek but she covered it with her hand and walked away. She looked at me and slowly the air around the crack started filling up. She was healing herself! I stared in silent amazement as she slowly, very slowly became her self once more. Once her bankai was gone, she collapsed to her knees and shivered violently. I walked towards her and picked her up. I could feel her muscles and organs spasm from the strain her body endured.

"Your bankai is beautiful, and powerful, but you shouldn't practice techniques until you have mastered releasing and retrieving it without self-harm. Unless you wish to be sick at Kurosaki's funeral, I should think you will spend the next day in bed recovering." I said to her sternly, but she looked sadder than I expected.

"I understand. But did you see what I did with my blizzard? I watched you training your bankai countless times, I've seen your formations and strategies first hand. My blizzard can be used in much the same way, I could even replicate many of your techniques. Its because you look like you are dancing, and dancing is how Sode no Shirayuki works." She told me and smiled briefly.

"As I said, I am impressed, you and I would work well together on the battle field. If you didn't free my bankai along with everything else that is." I told her and she sighed exasperatedly.

"Do you honestly believe I have no control over what is frozen and what isn't? I do have some control you know, I am not a complete novice." She said and looked away from me as if I had slighted her. We arrived just in time to catch Isane leaving the compound.

"Oh, captain Kuchiki, Rukia, you are just in time, I was about to leave having thought you forgot about your appointment." She said and smiled at Rukia. I bid Rukia good night as well as Isane before I retired to my room. I suddenly felt exhausted. Rukia was an incredibly complex person.


	4. Chapter 4

RUKIA

The time before Ichigo's funeral felt more difficult than Renji's. Probably because I had more time to riminess on our happy memories together. The iPod made things more difficult for me as well, I would hear a song that tore at my heart with its words, or a song that reminded me of when I first heard it. I couldn't help but recount the days since I met Ichigo. He was my hero. He was so selfless, and he changed the way the soul society worked for the better.

I felt better knowing that he was somewhere in the soul society and that he would be alright one way or another. I just had to wait until he was ready to find me. It felt strange to wait for him to come to me for a change. Usually Ichigo waited for me to return to the world of the living, and now I'm waiting in the Seireitei for him to make his grand entrance. He had a sense of flare so it was only natural for me to anticipate the chaos he would create when he returned.

My mind drifted off of Ichigo to the different festive kimonos hanging in front of me. What does someone wear to the world of the living for a funeral? Definitely not kimonos. I would have to go to the world of the living to buy a suitable dress for my gigai.

The bleeding stopped and I was deemed well enough to carry on as I usually do, but now that I'm on leave there isn't anything I can do. Thinking of shopping made me sad. I thought about the times Renji or Ichigo took me shopping, or when I had a girl's day with Orihime and her other human friends. Who could I ask to come with me? Sure, I didn't need someone to accompany me but I was feeling sad enough as it is, I don't feel like being alone in a strange place.

I could ask brother if he would come with me, but my confidence from the last few days left me cold and intimidated. He seemed so aloof and unapproachable. I know what he told me, but he doesn't bother trying to act as if anyone is welcome to talk to him. Asking him to take time away from whatever he seemed interested in seemed dangerous. He wouldn't attack me, and he might not reprimand me but he will definitely think I don't appreciate the kimonos he bought for me.

That's it. I will have to go to the world of the living to find suitable clothing. There is still an hour or two before they start closing their shops, if I leave now I will have enough time to look around properly. I got up from my cushion on the floor and made my way to brothers' room, but it was empty. I searched the living area for his spiritual pressure, I barely found the tiniest spark of it, but I followed it, and found him at the memorial room. I couldn't disturb him when he was paying his respects could I? I sighed and walked back to his room. I wrote him a note saying that I was going shopping in the world of the living and left for the Senkaimon.

Walking the streets of Karakura town never felt so hollowing before. The town was generally a warm friendly place filled with happy people, but now it seemed colder and it just seemed to have lost something that used to make it shine brightly. I walked into a shop that had many fancy dresses on display manikins. I took my time walking the isles looking at the different types of dresses they had. Nothing really seemed worthy of wearing to a funeral, and sadly this shop didn't have a range of clothing for different occasions, so I drifted over to the darker looking dresses.

I found a few dresses that didn't look too bad, I stepped closer to inspect them more closely when a hand clasped over my shoulder, I feared it could be Orihime but I quickly dismissed the idea since I would definitely have heard her if she were here. Probably the assistant then.

"I'm fine thanks." I said casually and waited for the hand to be removed, however, when it didn't budge I narrowed my eyes and turned my head around to face the person. Didn't they know of personal space?

"Is there a problem?" I asked and squeaked loudly seeing as it was most definitely not the assistant.

"Brother, I'm so sorry! I thought you were the assistant! What are you doing here? And how did you even find me?" I asked once my heart calmed down enough. It hasn't even been fifteen minutes since I left home, how could he have found me so quickly? Why did he even bother? And why did he look so angry? I didn't do anything wrong before I left, that I can recall anyway.

"You left without telling me where you were going." He said and dropped his hand after a few moments. I scoffed and went back to my browsing, looking for a nice dress instead of looking at his angry face was definitely better.

"Yet you found me anyway. And I did tell you I was leaving and where I was going as well as what I was going to do, it was all in my note." I said and pulled out an eye-catching dress and folded it over my arm while I continued to browse.

"A note? You should come to me personally Rukia, I deserve that much respect." He said accusingly.

"I did. You were in the memorial room and I just couldn't disturb you. Shops in the world of the living open and close at certain times. I wouldn't have time in the morning to find something suitable, so I have to do it now, while I can." I told him and picked out another dress. And in came the assistant.

"Hi there, could I help you and your boyfriend with anything?" She asked sickly sweetly.

"No thank you, I'm fine. And he is my brother, not my boyfriend." I told her politely and returned to browsing, if not just a tiny bit more annoyed than I was before. Couldn't they see that I was busy?

"Oh hi. My name is Akiza, what is your name?" She asked brother and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry, my brother is married." I told her before he could respond, not that he looked like he was going to anyway. People talking casually with him was one of the greatest offenses to him. And then I smirked and added, "He is also gay." His eyes widened and he looked at me. The assistant quickly made her excuses and wend back to the entrance of the shop.

"Rukia, your behaviours are appalling. And why would you need something for the funeral? Were the kimonos I sent you not to your liking?" He asked me bitterly, knowing that he couldn't properly reprimand me with eyes on us. I smiled.

"I'm sorry. They weren't bad really, but in the world of the living people hardly ever where kimonos except for more festive or cultural occasions. And there is nothing wrong with my behaviour. I said that you were gay so that she would leave us alone, I could have kissed you and said that we were married. And technically we are, only not to each other." I told him and fluttered my eye laches flatteringly when he couldn't seem a stoic expression on his face.

"Well, I don't think im going to be much longer. You can go back home ahead of me if you want to. I have to try these on to see what looks the best." I told him and started walking to the changing stall. He grabbed my elbow and stopped me. He didn't look very happy with me but he sighed and walked with me to the changing stall.

"I'm here already as it is. Hurry so we can leave together." He said and I shook off the unhappiness of shopping alone.

"Would you mind if I showed you what the dresses look like? You could help me pick the one that's best suited." I asked him and he nodded his head. I gestured to the block couches where he could sit and wait until I was read to come out.

The first dress was a shiny black material and came barely over my knees. It covered the entire chest and shoulder area, leaving the arms bare. The back of the dress was a zip up, and on either side of the seemingly plain dress were wings created with a soft net like material. It did suit me, at least in my own opinion. My hair covered the wings partially though, which stole some of the dresses beauty. I pulled my hair over my shoulder and platted it. Once I was sure that it looked presentable I opened the curtain and walked over to brother.

"How does it look?" I asked him, showing him the front first. I wasn't sure if he actually had any fashion sense regarding clothes of the world of the living, and maybe the wings wouldn't appeal to him. I thought they fit me well enough because throughout our friendship I had always been Ichigo's angel of death. He mused and I turned around for him to see the back, I kept my eyes of him though because I wanted to see his reaction, and he did have a reaction.

"I like this dress. It is very nice, it suits you well." He said and after a moment he got up and added, "That was faster than I thought it would be, I will wait for you to change so we can leave." He told me and after watching him for a moment I walked up to him and bumped him with my hip so that he was forced to reclaim his seat.

"Oh no, no, no, no. This only the first dress I have tried. I have two more." I told him and repressed a smile at the look of disbelief on his face. I walked back to the changing room and before I closed the curtain I said, "I'm glad you like the dress though, that means you do have fashion sense." I quickly closed the curtain at the look of incredulity he sent me. I knew I was pushing my luck, but I couldn't help but tease him, probably because no one would ever dare to.

The second dress was a light black satin dress that fell to my feet, I feared that it wouldn't fit me well because I was so thin but the extra small size fit me quiet well. It was covered in dark black roses and had a wide-open neck and shoulder space with long sleeves down to the wrist. It was also a very pretty yet very sad dress. I poked my head out to see what brother was doing. He seemed to be contemplating the tiles he stared at. I let my hair loose again and combed my fingers through it, right down to my waist. I walked out and smiled when brother looked up.

"What do you think of this one?" I asked him and twirled around for him to see all of it. His mouth twitched a bit but he didn't smile or say anything for a while.

"It looks good on you. It fits you perfectly." He said softly and I smiled at him.

"I don't see how we have never gone shopping together before." I told him and smiled again. Then I heard two boys from a small distance away talking.

'Hey isn't that the Kuchiki girl who used to hang out with that creepy orange haired freak?' 'Yeah, I thought they were dating but apparently she hooked up with some pretty boy the second someone put that dog in the ground.' 'She needs a real man not some girly model wannabe, want to make a bet? I bet you I will leave this shop with that girl.' 'No way man, she seems too high maintenance. Besides, don't you see the stone on her finger? She is married to the pretty boy.'

I cringed at how horrible human boys could be. Brother seemed to get more and more angry.

"Rukia, don't you still have a dress to try on? I'll be right here, go see how it looks." He told me and stood up, ushering me into the changing room.

Before I finished taking the dress off, I heard brother say something but I couldn't make out what it was. I peeked out of the curtain just in time to see the two boys running out of the shop, one tripped and the other fell over him. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Brother looked in my direction but I quickly pulled the curtain closed again. What on earth did he say to them?

I pulled on the last dress, it was a type of figure fitting elastic type of material with teardrop shaped beads on the front of it in the shape of a diamond. The tears were a mix of see-through colours, but the blues and greens stood out more vibrantly. The dress was beautiful and complimented my figure and my eyes. Taking a last glance at the dress, I walked out of the changing room.

"What did you say to them?" I asked brother, and he gave me a mock innocent look.

"I told them that you were a transvestite. The dress is beautiful by the way." He said and kept his face perfectly void of emotion, while I'm pretty sure mine was burning red.

"A what?! Do you know what that is?!" I asked him, not caring about the dress at the moment.

"A man, who dresses as a woman I believe. I personally prefer the first dress, but they all look good on you. You know my choice; now may we leave? The shop will be closing in a few minutes." He said as in he hadn't insulted me.

"Gay." I hissed between my teeth and his lips twitched.

"Yes, I believe we both are." I said and got up. He walked to the front of the shop, leaving me without so much as a second glance. I kept my temper in check and walked back into the changing room and changed back into my clothes. I made sure that I looked fine before I left the room and took my dresses to the clerk. I took out my wallet and brothers credit card. I had my own, I also had the family card but I wanted sweet revenge.

"Do you do alterations? See, I need this one dress for early tomorrow morning and its too long for me, do you think you could manage to do it now? Don't worry, money isn't a problem." I told her and he nodded happily, gesturing for me to follow her into another room. I flashed brother the card I was using, making him gape at me in disbelief. I smirked at him and followed the woman into the fitting room. I volunteered to wait in there with her while she finished altering my dress. I figured brother would either be livid, and waiting for me, or he already left to contemplate my punishment when I returned home.

It was already dark out when we were finished and my dresses were bagged. I walked out of the shop and stopped to look at my soul pager. No hollows yet. I sighed and turned around, getting ready to go to my next destination when a pair of expensive, shiny shoes caught my attention. For just a moment we looked each other in the eyes before I smiled at him. He narrowed his eyes in anger.

"You- "He started before I dashed passed him and towards Uryu's house. I could feel brothers' spiritual pressure not too far from where I was.

"Rukia? Is that you? Why are you out so late?" Uryu asked me, while moving his glasses up his nose.

"Hi Uryu. I'm really sorry to bother you this late, but I need to ask you a favour. Do you remember Kon's measurements?" I asked him and he started to respond before looking behind me and stopping.

"Well, yes I do. Why do you ask?" He asked without looking at me.

"Can you please make Kon a black tuxedo? Like, for a funeral?" I asked him, and that got his attention back on me. His eyes softened and he smiled softly.

"Sure. I'm guessing you want it before the funeral?" He asked me, and I nodded.

"Alright, consider it done. And Rukia. I'm really sorry about Renji. If you need anything, or a friend to talk to, I'm here. I don't care if it's the middle of the night, if you need a friend…" He trailed off.

"Thank you, Uryu. I will remember that." I said and gave him a tight hug before turning around and leaving. Brother was scowling at me at the gate. I grimaced and walked past him with my head down.

He walked next to me, but he didn't say anything. Slowly the tension between us disappeared, but I didn't feel any better. I walked us to Urahara's shop, and as he said he would, Isshin boxed all of Ichigo's and my own things neatly, waiting for me to collect them.

"Is it alright if I send someone to collect them for me tomorrow, Kisuke?" I asked him and he nodded behind his fan.

"That would be just fine, I also packed something in there that I want you to have. I'm really sorry about everything that has happened. Everything will be okay, don't worry. And if you ever need to run away for a little while, you are welcome to stay with us here." He offered kindly.

"Thanks, Kisuke." I gave his a genuine, if not just slight sad smile and turned around. I sighed. I looked around me but I couldn't see brother anywhere, I couldn't detect his spiritual pressure either so I let my feet move me to wherever they were taking me. I shivered and breathed out a breath of steam.

I stopped and looked at where I ended up. The ice rink. I smiled at the bitter sweet memory. The street lights lit it up enough for it not to be completely encased in darkness. I used my ice magic to create blades on my shoes and I hopped over the wall into the ice rink. At first my legs wobbled as they did in the beginning, until I remembered everything Ichigo taught me. I laughed as I slid on the ice, I skipped and jumped in the air and felt the freedom of living in a memory.

As soon as the happiness came, it went. And tears flooded my eyes against my will. I slid to the wall, and sat on the ice against the wall. I was completely alone now. It was alright to cry. And I did. I cried and shook, I screamed and hiccupped. Eventually my sobs died down and all that was left of my meltdown was the after tremors. I sniffed and pulled my legs up to my chest and buried my face into the crook between my knees. I breathed slowly until the shivering stopped and I felt too tired to do much of anything.

I stood up and wiped my face with my scarf. I sniffed and broke off the blades on my shoes as I climbed out of the ice rink. Before I could climb the first of the steps out of the arena, I noticed a figure standing a across from me on the other sides of the seats. Brother stood there silently, eyes wide and mouth agape. I gasped and shook as a I fought a new flood of tears. I glared at him as harshly as I could. He already saw me cry, so what if he see's a few more tears. I let them run freely as I ran out of the arena. I opened the Senkaimon and ran through it.

When I was back in the safety of my room, I closed the door and locked it for good measure. I lit a candle and dressed into some of my warmer night clothes. After a second thought I closed and locked the doors to the garden as well. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I heard him return after I was already comfortable in bed. He stopped outside of my door, but he turned around and went back to his own room.

After laying awake for a few hours I decided to make myself a cup of tea. On the way to the kitchen I stopped outside of the memorial room. What would I say though? My feelings still felt too fresh for me to talk to Renji. After a bit of more thought, I entered the room. I lit the candles around the pictures and lit new incense sticks. I placed my cushion between two pictures before I knelt and tried to sort out my thoughts.

BYAKUYA

I couldn't sleep. While Rukia spoke to Urahara, I found Yoruichi on the room of the establishment. I planned on ignoring her until she called me to come and sit with her. I was going to reject her offer, but its too rare for her to offer company out of sincerity instead of cunning so I joined her.

She told he that she was worried that Rukia would break soon. She thought that she has been putting on a face for everyone around her, but truly inside she was hurting and she didn't know how to express it. I told her that she was imagining things. I couldn't tell her what Rukia told me in confidence, but I did tell her that we had grown closer over that last few years, particularly the last few days, and that I knew she was fine. She told me to hide my presence when Rukia left the shop. She told me to follow her silently, but allow her the solitude she needed.

I didn't expect what I saw at all. I didn't expect how it would make me feel either. She looked beautiful dancing on the ice, laughing happily and freely. I knew it, she was fine. I didn't lie to her when I told her I didn't cry after Hisana died. I just couldn't, I wasn't fine. I wasn't for a long time, but now I feel as if a weight that has been weighing down my heart has been lifted. All of a sudden, the arena was silent, so I searched for Rukia in the dark.

I was approaching her to ask her if we could finally be heading home when I heard it. My heart froze. It grew colder and colder until it shattered with her screams. I knew she wasn't hurt but her cries of agony tore at my heart. I truly didn't think her suffering would hurt me this much. I tried to focus on breathing evenly. I couldn't leave her here. Like this. I couldn't approach her either. I didn't have words of comfort, there wasn't anything I could do for her, to make her feel better.

The in occurred to me. I was wrong. Just like everyone else, I believed that she was fine. She looked fine. Has she really been acting all this time? I thought about hiding from her until she was ready to come home, but I couldn't move. I was too shocked.

When she stood up and looked at me, I saw it all. There wasn't a mask on her face anymore. Her cheeks, nose and eyes were pink, her lips looked red as if she had accidentally bitten them, and her eyes looked so pained and sad. So betrayed. I knew she wouldn't want anyone to see her like this but I couldn't leave. I didn't know if I wanted to either. I did. I didn't.

She looked at me with all the contempt she could, she clearly told me with just a look that what I did by seeing her like this, by interrupting her solace when she needed it, was completely unforgivable. It hurt me more to know that our new friendship was most probably over. She would probably try to avoid me or ignore me as I once ignored her.

I sighed. I wondered what Hisana would have wanted me to do, or say. Perhaps I would think of something if I went to the memorial room and prayed for insight. I got up and covered my night clothes with my gown. I walked down the hall and stopped when I noticed light coming out of the memorial room. And crying sounds. The discomfort came back full force. I didn't feel rooted to the spot like I did before but I still stood by the door to listen to what she said.

'Why did you have to leave me? Wasn't I worth anything to you? How could you abandon me? First you then every other person I met afterwards. Everyone I love ends up dying and leaving me all alone. Just like you did. Hisana. Why?' She said.

My heart froze. So, she wasn't talking to Renji.

'Why did you search for me after you left me? I really want to say thank you. Because of you I have Byakuya, a home and I had many happy memories with the people I met because you left me.' She said.

My heart clenched. And my eyes softened.

'But I can't say that. I can't say thank you, of forgive you for leaving me. If you stayed with me nothing else would have mattered. I can't forgive to for leaving me because if I were you, I would have held onto the baby until it stopped breathing, I never would have given up. I want to love you but there is so much about you that just seems unforgivable to me. I am young and I know I don't understand everything. But how could you do what you did to Byakuya?' She asked.

I didn't even know what I was feeling at this point. Rukia didn't understand Hisana. That's why she is saying these things. I barely understood Hisana. What did she mean?

'Brother is a wonderful person. If you knew you didn't love him you should have just stayed friends. He really deserves to be loved but he just can't move on because of you. Why did you have to burden him by asking him to find me? All I am is a living reminder of what he has lost. He is still trying so hard to keep his promise to you.' She said softly.

My eyes stung. Rukia always saw herself as a burden. Sure, at first that was how I saw it as well but in time she seemed anything but. I started building my life around her because she was the only person I could be at least try to be myself with. What hurts even more was her implications. I would have helped Hisana in her search the best I could if she had asked for my help. She didn't have to marry me for it.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Suddenly I felt very, very tired. But a cup of hot tea would probably help me sleep. It would also help alleviate the headache coming on. I started brewing a pot of tea in the dark. I didn't bother lighting the candles because I was trying to stay in a sleep like state. So, it shocked me awake when the door to the kitchen opened and closed and footsteps approached me.

"Brother! I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep and I decided to get some tea before trying to sleep again." She said and bowed. She straightened herself but she didn't look me in the eye. She looked very uncomfortable and I didn't want to risk saying something that wouldn't be taken well, but I didn't want her to leave either.

"I have already started a brew. Sit with me." I offered and hugged her. I felt incredibly embarrassed hugging her, especially since I'm sure that contact with me is the last thing she wanted but she didn't move. Not an inch. She didn't reply either.

"You know I hear that hugging becomes awkward if the other person doesn't hug back." I goaded and opted for stroking her head with one of my hands. Slowly she lifted her arms and hugged me loosely. Then she snorted softly and looked up at me.

"That's very unoriginal of you." She said and got down a second cup. I smiled in the dark, though I knew it wouldn't be seen. She placed the pot and both cups on a tray before heading out of the kitchen.

We ended up being seated in my room for our tea. She poured our tea as is customary and sighed into her cup.

"I didn't mean to be there. I heard you cry and I wanted to help you but I didn't know how. I couldn't leave. I'm truly sorry for intruding on your privacy." I told her and placed my cup down so that I could bow my head to her. She took a shaky breath.

"Its fine." She said and sipped her tea.

"No, it's obviously not fine." I said as I lifted my head and reclaimed my cup. She clenched her cup harder.

"I just want to know how I can help you." I told her and sighed into my cup. I let my brow relax and my eyes close if only a little. She didn't answer me.

"Rukia, have you ever heard of the 'Obon' festival?" I asked her and she shook her head.

"In the world of the living it is referred to as the festival of the dead. It is a few days where the residual energy of souls come back to the living. Naturally, humans cannot see spirits and so even if they call of loved ones to speak to, the conversation is one sided and strongly based on belief. In the Soul Society however, things are a bit different." I told her and she looked at me in interest.

"She, before soul's who die in the spirit world can move on, either to heaven or back to the world of the living, they sometimes linger with the energy of their last wishes. It doesn't last long for all of them, some a few years and others centuries, until they are exhausted and forced to move on. During the festivities, many people send lanterns down the river and if the spirit has been waiting for you, they will answer your call in your dreams. For the years that we were married, Hisana and I went to the festival in disguise, hoping that you would not answer our call. It was one way of knowing that you did in fact still exist. I suppose what I am trying to say is, would you like to accompany me? I don't know how to help you, but perhaps something one of…them…say could comfort you in a way that I cannot. It isn't for a few days, and should you choose to accompany me know that you are not to leave my side, nor are you allowed to take off your mask." I told her sternly.

Her eyes were wide and bright at the new information. Then she stiffened and hesitantly looked up at me.

"Can you call on more than one spirit? And what do you mean? Why do we have to wear masks?" She asked me. I finished the last of my tea and let her refill my cup.

"You can write down as many names as you would like in your lantern, but be warned, they won't always respond to you. perhaps they already moved on, or maybe they don't want to waste what little energy they managed to maintain after death." My eyes glassed over, if only a little. Every year, for over fifty years since Hisana passed, I wrote her name in a lantern and waited. She never responded. I had a hunch that some of the family lingered, in only to advise me or support me should I need it, but I felt too scared, too shamed to face them, and once called, the spirit may linger with you until the Obon festival is over. I cleared my throat.

"We wear masks so that no one may distinguish us. These special masks hide the spiritual signature as well. While our spiritual pressure remains the same, it is undetectable. They are many dangers the nobility face, and I am regretfully at fault for your lack of knowledge on such matters. I do however hope that you will trust me enough to blindly follow my guidance, even if you can't understand it. I will not harm you or lead you astray." I told her and she smiled it only slightly.

"I understand. And I trust you completely. And you should know that I took the liberty of finding you a tux that matches my dress for the funeral later. I know it was presumptuous, but I figured that if you didn't know about human funeral wear for me, you might not have known what to wear yourself. And we wasted more time than necessary in the dress shop as it was. I remembered your sizes from the last trip I took to the world of the living for you, I asked the shop keeper to do a few alterations on my dress as well. Would you like me to give you your clothes before I retire, or tomorrow morning before we leave? Be warned though, I feel absolutely terrible and sore all over, I will probably sleep really late, and even then, I need to make a stop before meeting everyone at the venue." She told me and got up to leave. She placed the tray outside of my door where the morning servants would find it and take it away.

"That was thoughtful of you. Especially since you were angry with me at the time. And by the way, I actually told those boys that if they even thought about approaching you, I would cut off their balls and make them choke on them." I said and smirked at her absolutely stupefied expression.

"I never knew you had it in you. I like this new and interesting version of you." She told me and left to get the tuxedo from her room. She came back moments later and folded the suit over my dressing rack.

"Goodnight, brother." She said and smiled before closing my door and heading for bed. I once again felt relived. Like some sort of prayer had been answered, like a true miracle had occurred. I suppose both would be true because she didn't avoid me, nor is she ignoring me or being hostile towards me. All of my thoughts were quickly forgotten when I fell into a pleasantly deep sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

RUKIA

As I predicted, I slept until an hour till when the funeral session would be taking place. I rushed around my room and bathroom getting myself washed and dressed. The dress now reached just over my butt, but I intended to wear a knee length overcoat anyway so the length didn't matter much to me. As I did my hair up into a high ponytail, the tear shaped beads jiggled from my movements. Ichigo always said that I stopped the rain. I didn't know what he meant until he died.

Once I was presentable I left for the dining room, knee high boots and jacket waiting in my room for when we left. Brother was waiting there reading one of his poetry books. A rare glint on mischievous hit me and I felt my lips twitch. I remember that he didn't take proper notice of this dress before, especial when it was way too long.

"Good morning." I chirped and smiled like a Cheshire cat when he replied, looking up briefly only to quickly snap his head back up to take a second glance.

"It didn't look like that before." He said and his eyes followed me around the dining table until I sat next to him.

"Doesn't it look better this way?" I teased him. I could see the faint beginnings of blush rising up his neck and ears.

"It is not proper to wear so little. I will not allow you to leave the house dressed as such." He said and rang the bell to call the servants in with our breakfast.

"Too bad, I'm wearing it. Besides im wearing something over it. I'm not a flasher you know." I told him nonchalantly and proceeded to eat my breakfast.

"Flasher?" He queried and rose an eye brow at me.

"It is a term used for common girls who dress indecently to attract attention. They usually try to expose themselves in some ways." I told him. I finished my breakfast and looked him over once more.

"Aren't you coming with me to the funeral? We have to be going, it starts in about fifteen minutes and I still have to do something in the world of the living before we head to the venue." I said, purposefully eyeing his normal soul reaper clothing. His lip twitched up cunningly.

"I am ready to leave. My gigai is dressed and waiting." He told me and I gasped in realisation. Of course, he would need to dress himself in a gigai. I just didn't notice that he wasn't in it already. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks, of course he wasn't! Soul reaper uniforms were only worn by souls!

"You…" trailed off, wanting to catch him at his own bluff. Instead I stood up and smoothed the dress down. I walked to the door and called over my shoulder, "Well then, I'm going to get my coat and boots. I'm leaving now."

I wore my charcoal fuzz knee length coat and my black velvet knee high boots. Brother looked quite relieved to see that I was in fact covered up. I had to resist rolling my eyes at him.

We left together for the world of the living. First, I stopped by Uryu's place to pick up the mini tux. As usually he did an absolutely fantastic job, right down to the dove grey flannelled undershirt and white flowers and hanky in the pocket.

Then when we were done I left to go back to Ichigo's dad's clinic. They were already out so I found the spare key that was hidden in the gutter and unlocked the door. Brother waited for me by the door, feeling rather uncomfortable inviting himself inside someone else's home. I found Kon's body inside the closet I used to sleep in. I dressed it carefully and professionally, when I was done, I hugged him to my chest and walked out of the house, locking up and putting the key back in the hiding place.

Brother looked like he wanted to ask me what all of that was for but he decided against it and let me lead him to the venue. We were just in time and managed to take two seats in the front row to the left of Isshin, where Yuzu and Orihime were to his right. Orihime looked at me with regretful eyes. I already forgave her but I decided to smile at her reassuringly to let her know that there were no hard feelings. Perhaps it would help her approach me after the ceremony.

Brother looked increasingly uncomfortable when we stood up to sing hymns. I whisper to him to either sing the lyrics on the pamphlet or lip sing. He gave me a hard look before standing upright, closing his eyes and pretending to be a statue. Before the songs finished I took off my coat since it was getting too hot. Many other girls, including Yuzu, Orihime and their friends' worse short dresses as well so I didn't feel too bad. I did feel bad when I felt accusing eyes on me.

After the ceremony when people were leaving to go to the banquet and mini party, Orihime walked up to me. She expressed how regretful she was and how ashamed she was. I told her that those feelings were useless especially since she already felt so terrible. We walked out of the hall together and decided to walk to the party together since it wasn't too far away. I hesitantly took my brothers hand and walked beside him while we were on our way.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I hope they haven't lowered the coffin yet!" I said and let go of brother's hand so that I could run back to the burial site. I knew they were following me from the heavy footsteps I heard behind me. Thankfully the coffin was only stilted over the open ground, it hadn't yet descended. I took Kon's body out of my coat and placed it on Ichigo's chest before closing the lid of the coffin. Orihime gasped behind me. I didn't know if she would feel the same way I did so I proceeded to finish doing what I planned on from the start.

Ichigo's grave read: 'Kurosaki Ichigo, 1989 – 2011, Son, Brother, Husband, Friend, gone but never forgotten', I moved behind the stone and used a concentrated Hado on my finger to write on the back of the stone. 'Kurosaki Kon, 2004 – 2011, Son, Brother, Friend, gone but never forgotten', and when I was done I dusted off my hands and blew off the dust on the stone. I smiled to myself and walked back to Orihime and brother, who were watching me in shock and amazement.

"Rukia, you are so kind! I can't believe I was so selfish! We all completely forgot about poor Kon!" She wailed and ran up to hug me tightly. I hugged her back until she stopped crying and let me go. I mouthed to brothers' curious glance, 'I will tell you later'. He nodded.

"Come we should be going, the others must be wondering where the two of you are." He said and lifted his arm to offer me his hand again. I smiled hesitantly and accept his offer. We walked to the party together. People were indeed worried sick. Orihime left to tell her friends about what I did, and I left with brother to the buffet table. She invited me to her baby shower in a few months' time. I promised I would be there. Surprisingly she assumed that brother would accompany me. I told her that we wouldn't be on leave at that time and he would most likely be busy, but to my surprise brother only replied, 'I will also be there'.

The party wasn't lively as most after funeral parties were. They had a karaoke system set up that surprised me. Almost everyone had sang a few songs dedicated to Ichigo. I smiled at the memory of Isshin's blabbered, way off pitch singing. Brother didn't bat an eye lash.

"Oh Rukia! You also have to sing a song! Come on! Everyone of Ichigo's friends had to sing at least one!" Called Yuzu and the rest of Ichigo's school friends joined her. My cheeks must have coloured. I couldn't exactly so no, so I asked brother if he could hold my coat for me until I was finished. It was supposed to be all fun anyway, it didn't matter if I did a horrible job.

"I will do this on the condition that everyone will forget that it ever happened!" I yelled into the mic, and many of our classmates laughed and yelled 'Never!', some ever took their camera phones to record me. I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"What do you want to sing, miss Kuchiki?" Asked one of Ichigo's friends who was setting up all the songs for us. I browsed though a few before I found one. It would have to do. I chose the song called 'Umbrella' by an artist called Rihanna. Some of our closet friends cheered louder than our regular classmates. My dress reflected differently whenever the clouds passed by. Whenever the clouds let the sun shine on me the beads on my dress reflected rainbows, but it looked like rain whenever the clouds blocked it out.

When I finished I smiled and made to move off of the stage but Yuzu tugged my arm gently and asked me to sing another song. I tried to make excuses not to but eventually she won me over by saying that I should also sing a song for Kon. After a while of contemplation, I chose the song called 'Firework' by the artist Katy Perry. It symbolised Kon is some ways after all, he was one special mod soul.

This time as soon as I was done I jumped off the stage and ran to brother before anyone could ask me to do anything else.

"You truly do have the voice of an angel." He told me and I felt the blood rush to my face. I punched him lightly and ignored his stunned expression.

"You are just trying to save me from the humiliation!" I told him and pulled him with me to Isshin so that I could say goodbye. Kentaro, my third seat should have collected the boxes from Urahara for me by now so it was safe to head home. I accepted my coat back from brother and fastened a few buttons. I shoved my hands into my pockets and sighed as me walked away from the party to the secluded area under the bridge by the river, we had to make sure people didn't see us return to our world after all.

When we got home, brother asked me to have lunch with him under the sakura trees and I agreed, only if I could change into something more comfortable first. After changing into a more casual and comfortable kimono I spotted the boxes in my room. I would sort them out when I found the time, until then they would stay there.

As I walked outside I left the breeze blow my long har with it. It felt so fresh and cool. The sakura littered the once green grasses of the gardens, but I waited for brother to arrive. After waiting for quite a while, I decided to go and check on him. Usually he waited for me, for him to be late, something must have happened. I knocked on his bedroom door but didn't receive and answer. I felt the area for his spiritual pressure when I found him talking to one of the elders in a heated discussion. Before I could leave and pretend I saw nothing, the elder greeted me, which naturally was an invitation to an unpleasant discussion.

Brother looked more on guard than usual so I knew I should expect the topic of heated debate to be something light. After giving me his false and belated condolences, the elder brought up the topic at hand.

"Master Byakuya, we have been lenient towards you over the last five decades but now we want to urge you to take another wife. That ryoka boy dying is a perfect example of why we need to have an heir to the family. You have been selfish with your wishes and each of your whims reflect on our family name! Master Ginrei entrusted the the head of the family to your inexperienced hands because he believed in you, but you don't have the family's best interest at heart and refuse to fulfil your duties to the family. If you refuse to comply with our demands we will be forced to make one of your cousins the next head of the family!" He yelled at brother.

I gasped and my eyes widened. No one ever spoke this way to brother and lived, but he was taking the verbal beating without even speaking back! He didn't even try to defend his motives and intentions! I let my spiritual pressure flare around me. Brothers eyes widened in shock before he forced me to release the pressure I had been building up. I turned around and went straight to the kitchen, not sparing either of them a second glace. I barely heard anything but I swore I heard brother mutter a threat to the elder before walking away. I sped up my steps. I didn't feel like being lectured by him now. I could retire to my room but that was in the opposite direction, it would be obvious that I was running away from him.

I came into the kitchen and asked the maids to bring a pot of tea and some cakes to my room as I wished to have my teatime alone. Just when I felt him about to enter the kitchen from the door I used I made a swift exit through the other door and all but ran to my room, only I didn't make it too far before I realised that his spiritual pressure was there waiting for me. I bit my lip and turned on my heel. I would wait until he left before I went back. I exit the living area and walked into the corridor.

"Rukia." Brother called from not far behind me. I felt rooted on the spot. I didn't dare face him, especially since it was obvious that I avoided him. I thought about flash stepping away from him but I knew he would catch me easily.

"Look at me when I talk to you!" He all but growled from where he stood. Fear grabbed my heart and squeezed it. I knew it was pathetic to cry for something so small but I couldn't stop the tears that dropped from my eyes.

"You wouldn't even defend yourself! How do you think I feel watching someone I care about get hurt!? He is lucky I didn't freeze him solid!" I shouted at him once I turned around and ran past him to my room. I saw the surprised look on his face and I couldn't tell what it was that surprised him most, my tears for his sake or my outburst. Still I refused to be reprimanded for trying to stand up for him.

I made it to my room safely and brought in the tea and treats that were left at my door. I kept brother's presence bright in my mind, watching with my minds eye what he would be doing. He spent a lot of time in his study then later returned to his room.

I decided to sort through the box of things that were sent for me. Many pretty summer dresses and winter coats and other girly clothing accessories. What surprised me the most was the gold looped friendship ring with a jade in the centre of it. There was a small ring and a larger ring. We saw these rings once when we decided to window shop after killing hollows. They were way too expensive but we both thought they looked pretty. Ichigo must have saved for at least over a year before he could afford these! The inside of the ring was also engraved, 'We will never be apart'. I scoffed at his cheesiness, he could have said 'Together Forever' like most did but he chose a more romantic phrase. I shook my head. You're an idiot Ichigo. After sorting through the box, I finally finished going through everything, except Kisuke's package. I was wary opening anything he gave me. Usually it wasn't something pleasant.

I tore open the grey bag and held it upside down, tossing the contents onto my bed cover. There was a strange rectangular device and a note. The note read, 'Dear miss Kuchiki, I know how difficult it must be for you to be so far away from your friends. This device is a modern cell phone from the world of the living, only a modified it some for your benefit. It can communicate through realms and there is also a little surprise for you once you activate it. Kindly, your friends Kisuke, Yoruichi, Tessai, Ururu and Jinta.'. I knew what a cell phone was, after all I messed around with Ichigo's things quiet often. I got the shock of my life when I turned on the phone, and shrieked as if I had been electrified.

"Rukia! Oh, my sweet lovely Rukia! I know how worried about me you must have been! Hey are you crying? I'm really sorry! I wish I could hug you but this seems to be the only way I can live now." Said Kon through the devises screen. Even before he finished speaking loud knocking erupted from my door.

"Rukia, are you alright?" Came brothers voice from behind my door. I cleared my throat quickly and wiped away my tears. I gestured for Kon to be quiet and took a deep breath before answering.

"Its nothing, im fine!" I yelled back but he demanded that I let him in. Against my better judgement I rose from my seat and left the phone and letter on my futon. I opened the door to see his concerned face before I quickly looked down to avoid his gaze.

"I'm really fine. I was just surprised is all." I told him and looked to the side, waiting for him to leave. He was going to say something but stopped before trying again.

"Rukia, we need to talk about your behaviour." He said and I faintly heard Kon mumbling through the phone.

"Do we have to do it now?" I asked timidly hoping he would leave me alone, at least for the rest of the day. But I was not so fortunate. He narrowed his eyes at me and nodded once sternly. I sighed and let him into my room. I picked up the note and hid it between the pages of one of the books on my desk before taking a seat opposite him and waited for him to speak.

"You need to know that the elders are not to be trifled with. I understand that it didn't sound pleasant but they are my advisors for a reason and their opinions are valued." He said and I scoffed. He narrowed his eyes before continuing. "They deserve respect as I do, and your actions only caused more problems for me to have to deal with." He continued. I felt my body start to tremble trying to hold back angry tears.

"How can you say that? He was so mean! And it wasn't even true! It hurt to watch you take his words like whips of punishment! You didn't defend yourself either. Was I just supposed to watch him treat you like that? And even if that is the case, what will it accomplish except making us both unhappy!" I hissed at him letting tears cloud my vision.

"He wasn't wrong entirely. I protect the clan and provide for the needs of the family, however towards more complicated duties I have failed them. I broke family rules and laws for the sole reason of protecting my own happiness and wellbeing, and that is not right. They may decide to try a takeover, but you know that I am far from weak, whoever steps out of place will be dealt with. You attacking an elder reflected poorly on my decisions regarding your adoption into the family. You may have many accomplishments since your adoption into our family but many people choose to look at your fault instead of your achievements." He told me more gently, but he was in no way letting me off without a proper scolding. I clenched my knees with my fingers and let myself cry. The room was silent until a voice shouted out from the cell phone I left on.

"Leave Rukia alone you bully! She was only trying to protect you because she loves you! And you! How could you let someone else tell you how to live your life! You are a person not a puppet! You are lucky to be alive so live your life the way you want to dammit!" Kon yelled before I turned off the volume and switched of the power. I quickly resumed my position across from my brother and bowed my head low.

"I'm so sorry! He didn't mean to offend you! We are all going through a lot these days and he probably just lost it. Please forgive him!" I said hurriedly.

"What was that?" He asked me and glared at the phone before reaching for it. Oh no! Don't tell me he plans on breaking it! I quickly grabbed it before he could reach it and hid it behind my back.

"It's a cell phone. A device used for communication. Kisuke gave it to me as a gift so that I could keep in contact with my friends and share things about my life with them." I told him and he narrowed his eyes at me.

"That voice, what was that voice?" He explained angrily. I cringed at him tone and sat on the phone.

"That was a dear friend of mine. A stupid one who doesn't know any better that to speak his thoughts." I told him and he got up and walked out of my room. I sat there for a few moments before I was sure that he left me alone. I turned the phone back on and raised the volume.

"You idiot! I know you almost died and everything but don't you remember who my brother is?! Not even I had the guts to speak out to him the way you did! Now he probably hates me again!" I screamed at Kon and watched his face fall sadly.

"Speaking of near death experiences, why are you in here? I mean im glad that you didn't die but that makes the whole funeral thing pointless!" I told him and threw the phone on my pillow as I walked to my door to close it for privacy.

"What funeral? And Mr. Urahara told he about what happened. He said that it was impossible to fix me but he could make me virtual. Now I live inside your phone. I can even search the internet specifically for you and send, receive and read messages for you. I can also call people for you, I can do whatever you need! Don't look so sad Rukia, its not so bad really!" He told me.

"Yeah, I guess. At least I can turn the volume off to shut you up now." I joked with him and laughed lightly at his indignant sputtering.

"Hey Kon? I'm not feeling so well. I think I'm going to go for a walk, I might even train for a bit but im going to have to leave you here. Its for your safety trust me. My bankai would kill you by accident and I don't want to be responsible for another friend's death." I told him and he agreed with me on the condition that I left the phone connected to the internet so that he could amuse himself. I quickly turned on the adult content blocker, much to him horror, before I changed into my uniform excluding my haori and left my room.

I walked aimlessly around the gardens of the main house. Unlike brother, I was very unwelcome around the rest of the family. They never accepted me and only tolerated me when in my brother's presence. I decided to head back to my room and collect the iPod. I wanted something to get my mind off of my troubles, and I definitely didn't want to say here.

Just like the other captains I had a living quarters in my divisions barracks. I climbed onto the roof and lay down. The Soul Society didn't have the same constellations as the world of the living did, but they still seemed brighter here than they were there. I closed my eyes and listened to my music. Eventually my body started to feel heavy and my eyelids felt stiffly shut. I'm sure it would be fine if I slept out here for tonight. I went to sleep fingering the ring on my left middle finger, the jade staying cool like the night air.

BYAKUYA

I felt positively livid. How could Rukia protect that thing after it insulted me? I walked into my room and straight through to the gardens. My nightly walks often helped clear my mind. Honestly, I was happy to have someone stand up for me. The problem was the consequences. The elder's attention on me was bad enough as it is, but her acting out like that only made them pressure me more or redirect there unpleasantries towards her.

I caught a glimpse of her walking around the other side of the gardens. I liked to think that she was happy here, but if I really forced myself to look closely enough, I could see how miserable she was. If only she knew of all the rules and laws I have broken for her sake, to keep her with me. And now I couldn't live without her. My heart was conflicted. I couldn't please everyone in my life, and I knew I needed genuinely helpful advice, and soon. But I couldn't call on the spirits of my parents or grandfather, and it was pointless to seek out Hisana.

I needed to be set back on the right path before anything terrible happened to the family. Despite my fear, I know I will have to call out to whoever would be willing to hear me. I walked back to my room but decided to see if Rukia had returned yet. She wasn't in her room but there was a strange flickering object on her pillow. Oh, I recognised it.

"You!" I bit out and picked up the device. There was some sort of terrified squeak from the device before it screamed for help and yelled at me to let it go. I scoffed at it and asked where Rukia was. For a moment it was silent before it responded.

"She said she wasn't feeling well and went for a walk. That was a long time ago though so she probably went out to train her bankai. She told me she couldn't take me with her because she didn't want to risk breaking me. Listen, if you just want to be mean to her again let me tell you something! She doesn't deserve it!" It yelled out bravely to me before apologising and begging for its life. I dropped it on her pillow and decided to go out looking for her again. She could seriously injure herself out there and she wouldn't have anyone to help her. Stubborn girl!

I searched for her spiritual pressure and found her at the thirteenth divisions captains' quarters. I knocked on her door but she didn't answer. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I decided on scaling the building and drawing her out with my spiritual pressure. I jumped onto the roof and froze. She had fallen asleep on the roof of her quarters. How irresponsible. Many would just at the opportunity to humiliate a Kuchiki. Not that many would be brave enough to try.

I crouched beside her for a moment, trying to decide how best to wake her or if I should take her home as she is. She turned to face me in her sleep, illuminating her face's beauty as well as her tear stains. I sighed. I scooped her up and decided to carry her home. We have had enough arguments for today.

I stopped outside of her room only to hear strange noises coming from the phone. After a moment of thought I decided to lay her in my bed instead. They were no way she wouldn't wake up with that racket. I lay her down and walked over to my closet. It didn't occur to me that she could have been awake but when I tossed my clothes into the laundry basket a loud gasp echoed through my room.

"Avert your eyes at once!" I whispered harshly to her. She shook her head and covered her mouth with one hand.

"Oh, no. You are the person who abducted me and placed me in your bed, I'm pretty sure I have the right to stare." She laughed and when she calmed down she added, "And all this time that I was laughing you didn't even try to dress yourself! Not that I mind entirely, its rare to see you this embarrassed, just look at how red and puffy your cheeks are!" She all but shrieked through laughter.

I quickly started dressing myself. I had been in too much shock to respond in any way. I did not abduct her, and I didn't plan on doing anything to her even though I did place her in my futon.

Once I was dressed I pulled the covers off of her and a pulled her over my shoulder. Her laughter soon turned to coughs. I was going to march her to her room but I decided to drop her on the floor and offer her water instead. She accepted the water and crawled back to my bed. I sighed and got into the opposite side, making sure to turn away from her completely.

"Come on, you aren't still embarrassed, are you?" She taunted but I dutifully ignored her. Until she crawled closer to me and decided to try and tickle me. I held my breath, I refused to give her what she wanted. Eventually my body shook and I needed to exhale. I turned onto my back and swat her hands away. She quickly scooted far away from me.

"Go to sleep or return to your own room." I told her gruffly and turn back away from her once I was sure she got the message. After a while she sighed and got up, she left and I turned onto my back, I just started relaxing when my door opened again and something was thrown at me. I shot up and glared at her. She smiled innocently and got back into the futon, only reaching over to collect the Chappy rabbit teddy that she threw at me.

Seeing that teddy reminded me of the teddy she placed in Kurosaki's coffin today.

"Rukia? Why did you place that stuffy toy in Kurosaki's coffin?" I asked her and her eyes popped open between the rabbit's ears.

"It's a long story that goes right back to the beginning. When I gave Ichigo my powers I couldn't do my duty properly and I had to train him to do it in my stead until my powers returned, however I began to worry over his mortal bodies physical health. It wasn't like a gigai, it was a real body with bodily functions, it would seriously be harmed if he kept killing himself every time he needed to kill hollows. I bought a Gikongan from Kisuke Urahara, I ordered the chappy version but by accident we got one of the mod souls that were deemed 'faulted and dangerous'. The mod soul stole Ichigo's body and ran wild with it, even disjointing Ichigo's arm. But when push came to shove he stopped running when he saw children in danger of a hollow and decided to defend them. We couldn't help but empathise with his predicament. He was still a real soul even if he was created artificially, he and his brethren didn't deserve to die, and somehow, he beat the odds and survived the termination of the mod soul group he was apart of. Kisuke tried to retrieve him for extermination, but I saw how anguished it made Ichigo to think about his fate, and I felt that the mod soul wasn't unsafe for him to use as long as he understood why it was that we saved him. So, we kept him and stuffed him in that stuffed toy you saw. That was Kon's body until Ichigo really needed his help. He turned out to be a very loyal and dependable friend. For a long time, it was just the three of us living together and honestly it wasn't so bad, it felt safe and comfortable. Then I heard that Kon tried to protect Ichigo's sister during the arancar attack. He died. Or at least I thought he did. Kisuke couldn't repair him but decided to put his consciousness into the phone he gave me as a sort of helper. I just thought that his life mattered as much as anyone else's. He was a substitute son and brother, he was also a great friend no matter how annoying he could be. I wanted there to be a memorial stone for him as well, and at least he got a proper burial along with Ichigo." She said and became quiet afterwards.

"I agree with your decisions Rukia, even though in your stead I most probably would have done the lawfully correct thing instead of the morally correct thing." I told her sadly.

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit. You endure so much all the time and try to be the person you believe you are supposed to be, but I think if you were in my situation and you were allowed to make the choice yourself without anyone else's judgements, you would have done the exact same thing as I did." She told me and held my gaze when I turned to evaluate her expression. She seemed sincere and honest, as if she truly believed that. Maybe she was right, but didn't that make me incredibly weak minded if my resolve cracked so easily?

"I understand that you must be angry with Kon for how he spoke to you and I don't blame you. But what he said was still very meaningful, someone like him knows better that anyone how important it is to stand up for your self and live your life as you want to. I don't think he meant to forget about your duties and responsibilities, he just meant that you should do things in your own way so that you will be happy about your decisions and have little regrets." She said softly with closed eyes.

I spent a lot of time mulling over her words. It wasn't as if I had a short life span, I had possibly tens of thousands of years left. The elders were being unreasonably, and honestly, I shouldn't even thing of having a child until I am sure I understand my position properly. If I married again and had a child, the elders would brainwash the child and then I would end up like grandfather, being forced to execute my own children because of their misguided actions and beliefs. It also wasn't likely that they could overthrow me, they could hurt me through Rukia, but if she had demonstrated anything today it is that she can look after herself.

"I understand." I said into the silent night, and turned around to settle for sleep. Tomorrow I would prepare for Obon.


	6. Chapter 6

RUKIA

I woke up feeling surprisingly good. I sat up and looked next to me. Brother was still fast asleep. He looked so relaxed and free in his sleep. I wondered how old he really was and how many burdens he really carried all alone without anyone to comfort him or without anyone to talk to freely. I occurred to me that I knew very little about the Kuchiki head family and that it was my duty as a Kuchiki to do my research. The best way to learn would be to ask the person sleeping next to me but how would I be able to ask him why he is the last Kuchiki from the main house? What happened to this parent? I know that before he married my sister he didn't have any living relatives because of a picture I once saw of the wedding pictures.

Something caught my eye. He was twitching his nose in his sleep. I bit my lip to try and refrain from laughing. I knew that I shouldn't really touch him while he slept but I couldn't help it. A sudden thought made me get up and run to my room as quickly as I could. I put the volume on the phone off and walked as quietly as I could back to his room. I went to the camera and a took a photo of him. Just as he opened his eyes. I squeaked and clutched my chest.

"What are you doing?" He asked me and sat up slowly. I cleared my throat and sat down next to him. I set his picture as my wallpaper and looked at him.

"I was just taking a picture for my wallpaper. You just looked so relaxed and peaceful for a change and I wanted to capture the moment." I told him and he sat up straighter.

"Delete it." He said dangerously. I quickly back stepped to his door but he flashed in front of me and slid the door closed.

"Don't be like that, its for my personal collection, and besides, I already saw you naked so what's a sleepy picture between friends?" I asked him and he sputtered giving me an opening to push him away and open his door. I quickly made it to my room and locked my door. I hid the phone under my pillow while I got dressed. I dressed in my regular soul reaper clothing including my haori. I may have been given leave but that didn't mean I couldn't work if I wanted to, and I had to check in my office anyway since I didn't have a lieutenant to pick up my slack.

I walked to the dining room and immediately felt eyes on me. I looked at him and smiled sweetly. Brother continued to stare at me, I didn't care until a wicked gleam appeared in his eyes.

"And why are you dressed for work? You still have the better part of three months holiday." He said and continued looking at him as if he were a snake.

"I'm going in to the office, obviously. I need to make sure everything is going alright for my squad. Neither of us even have a lieutenant, in fact I was thinking of asking captain general Shunsui is he could revoke my leave." I told him. He frowned.

"Perhaps three months leave is a bit much, however I have plans for us for today. We need to have our kimonos tailored for the Obon festival and we also need to fit a mask for you." He told me and I stiffened. Our tailor really didn't like me.

"I don't need a new kimono, really, I have a few to choose from, in fact I could even get a pretty one from the world of the living, no need to get the tailor to abuse me." I quickly refuted and dug into my breakfast.

"Are you being mean to me because I saw you naked?" I asked him and he choked on his tea. I panicked and sat up to rub his back.

"Would you please stop mentioning that?" He asked me desperately. I smiled wickedly at him.

"Not a chance. Your blushing face is adorable! And its even more fun because I'm the only person who has the luxury of seeing it. It's like the gift that keeps on giving." I told him and wiped joyous tears from the corners of my eyes. He inhaled deeply.

"I will be with you when we are tailored, as I need to have one made for myself as well, the experience shouldn't be as terrible within my company. And we do need to choose masks. I will walk with you to your division afterwards because I need to check in on mine as well, if all is well we will begin your training." He told me and I felt myself light up.

"Really? Alright than. If you will be with me I will try to endure it. But you must know that that man dislikes me." I told him and sighed. I no longer felt interested in my food. I pushed my bowl away from me and waited for brother to finish eating before he led me to the room we were to wait for the tailor.

At first the tailor was rough with me until brother cleared his throat and asked him to be more careful, unless he wished to lose his best customers. The kimono I chose was a pale pink with silver rabbits hopping around it, and brothers was bright red with black birds flying on it ominously and we both used gold obi to complete them.

"That was definitely much better with you there, be careful if I develop a need for the safety you provide you might not be able to get rid of me." I teased and nudged him playfully as we entered the room full of masks. Brother immediately went for a golden hawk shaped mask. I found a bunny mask and I thought it would look right with my kimono until I saw a golden owl mask. It might not correspond perfectly with the rabbit kimono but it wouldn't look terrible. Brother smiled and apricated my taste.

We walked to the thirteenth division together in silent contemplation. He left me to do my job while he left to return to the sixth division. As it turns out, it was for the best that I returned early. My office was loaded with papers and documents. I ended up spending hours of the day sorting them out before I could do anything to get rid of them, but by the end of the day I had the majority completed and I decided that having a quick nap wouldn't hurt. I took out the Chappy teddy I kept in one of my draws and rested my face in its fur before I fell asleep.

BYAKUYA

The day passed painfully slowly but I was grateful for the sense of normality the work gave me. I caught myself missing my lieutenant very much. Without him the paperwork was mine to complete again. I thought about asking Rukia if she would like to eat lunch with me at home but I decided that our work wouldn't do itself so I bought food from the cafeteria of the fourth division and decided to bring some to her, besides she seemed to like the simpler foods such as dumplings. Probably an acquired taste after living in the Rukongai for so many years.

Surprisingly the thirteenth division looked like a ghost town as I walked the corridors to the Captains office. The door was open so I didn't think twice about entering. She was fast asleep with a chappy teddy among all of her paperwork. I walked over to her and shook her shoulder gently.

"Go away Sentaro." She mumbled and nuzzled the teddies furry belly. I cracked a smile, it was a real pity that I couldn't capture her picture, what with her mouth ajar and her face almost submerged in rabbit fluff. My eyes were drawn to the open pot of ink. If it didn't dry up it would be knocked over and spilled over all of her work. I smiled as I picked up the brush and drew funny faces on the rabbits silly smiling face.

Just then she gasped and jumped up. I was so startled that I threw the brush in the air and jumped away from her. The brush came down and brushed my beautiful heirloom scarf. I gasped in shock, I placed the food on her desk and flash stepped to the twelfth division, thankfully the captain assured me he could save the scarf as long as I was willing to pay a hefty price. At the time I would have agreed to anything.

I walked to the sixth division feeling naked without my precious scarf. If the elders found out, I would never hear the end of it. I still freshly recalled the lecture and beating I endured from grandfather after I fell into the koi pond with it. I walked into my office and locked the door behind me. I startled when the chair swivelled around with Rukia sitting in it.

"How did you get in here?" I asked her narrowing my eyes slightly, I knew she wouldn't take my ministrations on her teddy lightly but I didn't expect her to ambush me in my own office, where were my men?

"I just wanted to see if you were alright. I figured you punished yourself for your mutilation of my Chappy. And by the way. You have been walking around the Seireitei with ink on your face." She said and burst out laughing. I gasped and ran to the mirror in my bathroom. True enough there was a long black streak for my cheek. Rukia walked into the bathroom after me and wet a cloth with warm water.

"Here, let me help you get it off." She offered but I turned my face away from her and tried to get the cloth from her. I wanted to maintain some dignity at least. I yowled in pain when she stomped on my foot. She wrapped one arm around my neck to keep me down and started rubbing my cheek. I pulled my myself upright and she glared at me before grabbing my shoulder and jumping on me, wrapping her legs around my hips.

"This is not the behaviour of a lady!" I bit out at her, she glared at me just a little bit harder and scrubbed my face more roughly.

"I am trying to help you get this ink off of your face and you are throwing a tantrum like a baby! Calm down, stand still and let me work!" She shouted at me.

"I do not need your help, thank you, and you should remember who you are speaking to!" I yelled at her. She startled, bit her cheek and continued rubbing vigorously.

"Typical. Someone actually wants to be around you and help you and you are offended by it. I thought you would be different around me but apparently you choose when you want to be a nice person and when to be an asshole!" She hissed at me and jumped off of me, throwing the cloth in the basin and storming out of my office. I was aware that I must have looked a sight, so I flash stepped home to clean myself up properly.

I heard the closet in Rukia's room bang shut. She must have returned home before me. Its probably best for me to apologise now instead of later. I walked to her door and knocked lightly. Her movements stopped before she hid her spiritual pressure and continued whatever she was doing.

"Rukia, do you mind if we talk for a moment?" I asked, but was met with silence. She was definitely ignoring me and avoiding me now. I heard a noise in my room and flashed to it quickly to see who dared enter my room without my consent. Rukia lay my scarf down gently on my pillow and started walking out of my room. I flash stepped behind her a grabbed her wrist.

"Rukia?" I asked softly. She wiped her cheek with her other hand and violently pulled her wrist out of my hand. I sickening, gnawing feeling lurched in my stomach. She tried to flash away but I trapped her on the roof of the wall to the outside of the compound.

"I'm going to stay at he barracks for a few days. I have a lot of work to do." She said and tried to walk past me but I raised an arm blocking her way.

"Rukia, I'm sorry about my recent behaviour, it was unfair of me to treat you the way I did. Please stay here? Don't you think leaving home is a bit excessive?" I tried to reason with her. I honestly felt sick with the feeling of her leaving me.

"I thought I was being considerate. You clearly don't want me around, and you don't seem to really be interested in being friends either. You try to warm up to me when you feel like it, but if I ever try to defend you or look after you, you are offended by it. Since you are so disgusted by me I may as well leave. You are the only reason I ever stayed anyway, and since I'm nothing but a burden to you I will just leave. The elders will probably be nicer to you now." She said and sped away to the thirteenths barracks captains' quarters.

I actually felt like world just stopped turning. It was barely midday, but I decided to try and take a nap. This had to be some horrible dream. I feared only a few things. Rukia dying was the worst, but her deciding to leave me was a close competitor. I had to do something quickly. But I was too panicked to think of what that something could be.

I walked back into my room and looked myself over in the mirror. I looked better at least, Rukia did a good job of scrubbing that ink off of me. I cringed at how mean I had been to her. I groaned in frustration. Rukia has never felt loved in my house. The rest of the family barely treat her as a person and the elders outright refuse to acknowledge her as a Kuchiki. I gulped when a dangerous thought passed through my mind. With that thought at hand, I picked up my scarf inspecting it briefly to determine if it was the same as it was before I stained it. I folded it gently under my arm and flash stepped to the thirteenths barracks. Rukia wasn't in her office, but her third seated officer was.

"Where is your captain?" I demanded. He paled considerably.

"Captain Kuchiki. My captain isn't well at this time, she really wishes to be left alone, she specifically asked me to not let you in to see her, my sincerest apologies!" He said and bowed lowly. I rose my spiritual pressure dangerously, he man looked like he was choking on thin air and trembled onto the ground.

"Please sir, you know I cannot betray my captain." He begged when I didn't let up. I tried to seek out Rukia's spiritual pressure but she continued to hide it from me.

"Incompetent fool! She is my sister! Do you think that of all people would harm her? Tell me where she is, right now!" I howled at him.

"Sir, you seem incredibly irate at the moment, I'm afraid that I cannot tell you where she is, for her own safety, please try to understand! She has gone through a lot recently, maybe she just needs some time?" He offered. At least he was loyal to his captain. It won't do him well for long though.

"I am looking for her because of Kuchiki business, this has nothing to do with the Thirteen Court Guard Squads, if you don't answer me this instant I will take your refusal as a direct insult and you will be punished accordingly! Scatter, Senbonzakura!" I ordered, and my zanpakuto scattered into thousands of blades. The man fell to his knees and bowed until his face almost touched the floor.

"I'm sorry captain Kuchiki! You leave me little choice in the matter but please promise me that you wont harm miss captain Kuchiki?" He begged, and after a moment he decided that telling me what I wanted to know was better than asking me to keep a promise to a peasant.

"She has retired to her quarters. She should be resting at this time." He stuttered. I turned around and sheathed my zanpakuto. I calmed myself before I knocked on her door. She walked to the door and opened it, only to quickly try to shut it. I stopped it with my foot.

"It's rude to shut doors in peoples faces you know?" I asked her playfully. She scoffed and continued trying to shut the door and honestly my foot was starting to hurt.

"You have been metaphorically shutting doors in my face since we first met! Its not nice is it?!" She quipped before giving up and letting the door swing open. She walked into her kitchen and started brewing a pot of tea.

"About that. I'm truly sorry. I know I have been unfair to you but I swear the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you." I told her and I heard her say under her breath, 'But you are so good at it'. I gulped.

"Please come home? I promise I will try to be more accepting of your affections." I told her but she just shook her head and pulled out two cups from a cabinet.

"No, thank you. I'm tired of feeling unwanted and having myself shunned by you and your entire family. I'm not really a Kuchiki. You kept your promise to my sister, you found me and you protected me. I am a grown woman now, I no longer need your protection, and if I did it would be from you own family. I am truly grateful for everything you have done for me, but I will be fine on my own, don't worry, hell I have survived through worse!" She scoffed and served us each a cup of tea.

"Please come home for me? Rukia, you are wanted! By me! If you don't want to be anywhere near the others them I will forbit them from entering the main house. I will try to treat you kindlier. Rukia. I. Am. Sorry." I told her and took hold of one of her hand in my own. Her hand trembled a bit before she pulled her hand back and placed it on her leg.

"I don't want to go back. It's not like I am disappearing from your life forever, im just not going to live with you. You don't know how much it breaks my heart to keep trying to care when I keep getting pushed away, hell I think im starting to develop a complex!" She yelled and sniffled. That it that was the last straw. I let my spiritual pressure spike threateningly.

"You, you, you! I have never been shown genuine kindness, not once in my life that I can remember! Not even by my own family! You blame me for something I have no control over! I don't know how to accept or respond to affection! Maybe I could have been kind as you say I am, but I was never allowed to act as a person, I was never able to develop a true sense of self! Now I am trying for both of our sakes and you decide to just give up? Do you truly believe that you are the only person in the family treated so poorly? I am the head of the clan, and no one respects me! I can't even try to get close to another person because of my status! I can't even talk to a person without them fearing me, and I was born this way! I know you are suffering, but I have lost just as much as you have. Please. Please just come home!" I yelled at her.

Her eyes were wide and tearful and her lips quivered. Slowly she lifted up her hand to my face and wiped away wetness. My hand shot to my other cheek and wiped away the offending tears.

"I'm sorry. I really don't know very much about you. Please, please stop hurting!" She begged me and bowed until her forehead touched the table. I tried to compose myself but it was incredibly difficult, seeing as years of trying to not feel rebound on me making me feel too keenly. I got up and walked across the table to her. Her shoulders shook with sobs.

"You may feel as if I don't accept your help, but truthfully if you weren't with me all the time I wouldn't have remained as strong as I have been. Knowing that I have you brings me a type of comfort that I don't know how to explain, and I have been accepting it for many years now. I found it humorous how you joked about becoming dependent on my protection, when I have been dependent on yours since the beginning. Please look at me Rukia?" I asked her gently and I rubbed her back soothingly.

Slowly she sat up straighter, she wiped her face with the sleeves of her haori and took a few steading breaths before turning to face me fully. I stood on my knees and gently wrapped my scarf around her neck.

"For many years I wore my kenseikan as a reminder of the constant pain and weight of being the head of the family. For years I wore this scarf as the embodiment of the noose tied around my neck in servitude to my family, however, I hope you will be willing to share my burdens with me from now on. It is a heavy price to pay, and you don't need to answer me now, but I want you to know that you are a Kuchiki and you should be proud of it. Let this heirloom be a binding object between us. I see you as my equal, even if I don't know how to show it. I want you to proudly wear this scarf always, as proof of your status. I am insistent however that you return home with me. It is the least you could do for me after making me cry like an infant." I said and turned my face away from her quickly before she could she the blush on my cheeks. I did after all act rather shamefully.

"I will collect my things and return home with you. However, I can't accept your scarf. I don't need anyone else to hate me more that they already do, I swear im paranoid that one day one of the elders is going to try and poison me or something, and im not even sure if I'm joking. No one in the family is nice to me except for you." She told me sadly.

"We only need each other. They will change in time, and im sure that the servants in the main house are loyal to me, you aren't in harm's way. I'm asking you to wear the scarf for me and no one else. Don't even think about anyone else's opinion. If the family can't treat you civilly I don't see why you should spare them any of your thoughts." I told her and she smiled sadly at me.

"What if I get ink on it or something? I saw how you panicked, if it happened to me I would probably run away from home. I'm sure if even Ichigo would be able to save me from your wrath." She joked any laughed a little bit.

"Try to think of it as a challenge. It will also improve your battling skills if you were constantly placing limits on yourself. Try to keep it safe, but if worst comes to worst we can have it repaired at the twelfth division. Never give it to anyone else though. It is ours and only ours, no one, not even another Kuchiki even has the right to touch it." I told her sternly and she nodded. She cleared the table and the dishes and returned to her room to collect some of her belongings that she had brought with her.

"Thank you, brother." She said shyly. I could tell that she was still uncomfortable with the situation, but it could hardly be helped.

"Rukia, you may call me by my name, it is only fair as I call you by yours." I told her and she smiled.

"Alright, thank you. Baka-Byakuya." She joked and dodged me when I lunged for her. Stupid Byakuya, huh? Maybe. Sometimes.

We returned home together and I felt as if a massive burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. I knew I could talk to Rukia, even if she couldn't help me she could empathise with me and give me the strength I need to overcome any obstacles I face. For the first time since so long ago when I met Hisana, I finally felt like I had a friend.


	7. Chapter 7

RUKIA

I decided to do some research on Byakuya and his immediate family today. I was still shocked and horrified at his outburst yesterday. I had known that he wasn't the most socially open person in the Soul Society but I never expected for him to have felt so oppressed and so hurt. I never knew he needed me.

Come to think of it, since he saved me from Gin's blade he had been trying to be closer towards me. Even just after he adopted me, I felt shamed for not being seated in the thirteenth division, I believed I had disappointed him. It was only fifty years later that I learnt the true reason for me never achieving any rank in my career.

Byakuya had threatened captain Ukitake. Byakuya who never even looked at me, who never spoke to me or sat with me unless it was absolutely necessary didn't want me to be put in the line of fire. He wanted to keep me out of the ranks so that my job would be less dangerous, so that I could remain a soul reaper.

Since meeting Ichigo however, he knew that I would want to become stronger. He decided to give me my chance and I shone. He had to save me many times throughout the years. And then I almost lost him when Nodt stole his bankai and used it to rip him apart. I had nightmares for weeks. I didn't actually see what happened, but I did see what was left of his body and I was horrified. He was cut open until the bone. We only just saved him in time, and even then, he believed he had failed me. When he saw my bankai and praised me, it was honestly one of the happiest moments of my life. I'm not one of those people who thrive on praise, but those few words from him made me spill tears of gratitude.

I kept looking over my shoulder unconsciously. Now and then I heard whispers and murmurs. Byakuya always wore his scarf, even with casual house clothes, as well as his kenseikan. I had tried to leave my room in the morning before breakfast and he seemed displeased that I didn't wear it so I went back for it before joining him for breakfast. Even our maids spared me curious glances, but unlike the branch family they never treated me coldly.

I could just ask Byakuya everything I was curious about but I didn't like seeing me so hurt and vulnerable. I wasn't helpless, I could learn our history from the libraries myself, the only problem was that the library was in the centre of the compound among the other family members who greatly disliked me. I finally found my way to the library, sadly the librarian was one of the elders which automatically put me on their hit list. I sighed and searched the library for historical books.

If there was a chance of me asking the elder for help before, it quickly disappeared once he noticed the scarf around my neck. I noticed the crest of the Kuchiki's at the top of the stairs and decided to start looking there. Thankfully my hunch was correct, there were many books about the family, almost all hand written. All well preserved and organised. Byakuya must have read all of this before. He must have them all memorised. I felt bad choosing what to read when I should try to know everything. Perhaps three months of holiday wasn't such a bad idea. I decided to take out a few of the journals written by Ginrei, Byakuya's grandfather. At least it would give me insight to the family Byakuya knew.

They were all terrible. I knew the Kuchiki's were all about the law but I never knew they actually carried it out, especially on their own family. What surprised me the most was that Byakuya wasn't more than a few decades older than I was. He seemed so wise and knowledgeable, he earned so much fear and respect with only his name and yet he was so young.

His uncle, his aunts husband Koga was originally supposed to become the next head of the family. We know because of recent events that before Koga gave in to sin he actually was innocent and trailed as guilty, however his father in law Ginrei cared too much for him to kill him and instead sealed him away. Unfortunately, the seal was broken in our generation and Byakuya was tasked with slaying him in his grandfather stead.

I remember how Byakuya told me once that he wasn't sure if he would be strong enough to kill a family member and by shattering my zanpakuto he proved to himself that he could be ruthless if he was forced to be, also that me being without a weapon meant that I wouldn't fight and I would be safe. Safe from everything. As usual he shouldered the family burdens he had to carry on his young shoulders by himself. I briefly wondered if there were any more surprises like Koga hidden in the Kuchiki journals and tomes.

Ginrei didn't kill his son in law, but his daughter fought him to the death to try and avenge Koga. He stated how both he and his daughter knew that Koga was in the wrong and that he was punished justly, however being a Kuchiki it was she duty to her husband to die defending him. He was forced to kill his own daughter in a death match, and she even thanked him before she died. She thanked him for letting her die with honour instead of living in the shame of Koga's shadow.

Later when Byakuya was only sixty years old, his parents were crushed under the pressure of becoming the next heads of the family and also the next captain of squad six and broke some sort of ancient law. Again, Ginrei explains the agony of having to kill his own son and his daughter in law, her crime was only being knowledgeable of her husbands' actions and condoning them, but still because she knew something forbidden she was executed. He expressed how sad he was and how proud he was of Byakuya for baring witness to their execution.

Byakuya had, had to watch his parents be killed by his own grandfather. For the sake of the law. I couldn't restrain the silent tears that felt from my eyes, though I kept the journals far enough away from myself to protect them from possible tear stains.

It was recorded that Byakuya was the youngest captain of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads in history, I am barely one hundred and seventy-two but he became a captain when he was only a mere one hundred and twenty years old, he was the pride of the Kuchiki family. And even more impressively, the youngest head of the family was at least eight millennia old. Byakuya wasn't even one hundred and fifty by the time he became the twenty eighth head of the Kuchiki family and married my sister.

My respect for Byakuya has always been paramount, but especially after this it is difficult not to see him in some godly light. No wonder he forced himself to witness my execution. He felt like the law was all there was. He was probably glad that he wouldn't have to kill me himself, and here I thought he would have wanted to kill me personally to preserve the honour of the Kuchiki's. Not to mention all the other times I broke the law in some way, he even aided me when I needed his help. I never realised how difficult it must have been for him, how torn it made him.

On countless occasions he broke the law for me, or let me get away with it. He broke family traditions and threw away his family values to try and make me happy. Honestly, I saw children just like me get beaten to death in the dirty streets for trying to steal some food, I know how it feels to be hungry and cold, sick and helpless, alone and unwanted. But how long did Byakuya feel alone and needed? It must have made him hate himself a little over the years. And finally, he found my sister and fell in love with her only for his love to me unreturned, and even after death he stood by her.

I made sure to place Ginrei's journals back perfectly how I found them. I had a lot to think about. One thing I knew though, was that no matter what I would always stand by Byakuya and I would grow stronger, strong enough to help him if he ever needed it. There truly was no pain like watching a loved one hurt. Or knowing they pretended to be unmovable stone statues when inside they were fragile and lonely.

I walked out of the library back to the main house. I had skipped both lunch and teatime and I was famished. I searched the compound for Byakuya's spiritual pressure and found him in his room. He probably knew where I was the entire time, maybe he even checked up on me and I didn't notice him. Maybe he is upset with be because I didn't ask him. Hopefully he will understand.

Tomorrow was the first day of the Obon festival. Brother said that it was the best time to go because it was usually less crowded. He also said that is there weren't too many people there that we could participate in a few of the festivals games since it was my first time seeing something like that. I promised him that we could go to a festival in the world of the living together when the summer festival came around in a few weeks. He seems interested in human culture lately where in the past it had no relevance to it at all.

I walked to Byakuya's room and knocked on the door. He asked me to come in so I did and I closed the door behind myself. He didn't look up from his work but he did smile slightly.

"So, what have you been busy with today?" He asked me and I immediately felt guilty for looking into his background.

"Well, I have thought for a while that I didn't really know much about you or the family, but I never really felt like I should take an interest in it because I wasn't really…apart of your family." I told him and he looked up at me, but before he could tell me what he thought I started talking again, "I read up on recent family history during your grandfathers' rule. I learnt a lot of things about the family, and also about you. "I told him and he looked at me silently.

"Did you know that you are barely three decades older than me? You are so young! I always thought that you had a few millennia on me but it really is amazing, everything you have achieved in so little time!" I told him excitedly. It was difficult for me not to show my awe, he did seem otherworldly after all. He scoffed and looked mildly offended.

"The manner in which I carry myself is a Kuchiki trait that had been imprinted on me since I was very young. Despite being all that I am, I am rather young as souls go and more over, I am a new soul. This is my first life." He told me. And somehow, I felt so much worse. How could something so pure and innocent be burdened with so much responsibility. To have to many of the important things in life stolen from them. He truly believed he was a slave to this life and he didn't know any better than to accept it with a smile and embrace it.

"That's just terrible. From now on if I find anything fun to do I'm dragging you with me. You are way too young to act like an old man! I get that things are very different with your situation, but you can always afford happiness." I told him and he seemed to contemplate my words before gaining a more guarded expression.

"Exactly what recent history did you research?" He asked me and my smile became a frown.

"I read your grandfathers journals and some interesting books about the origins of the clan. I didn't mean to impose, I just wanted to know more about you…and the family. I understand a lot now. Why you were going to let me die, everything you have done for me that goes against the family and the law. I must be quite despicable to the family. I never realised the importance of the law to the Kuchiki clan. I also never imagined they would go to such extremes to uphold the law, even killing family. His journals didn't say exactly what the offences of your parents and your aunt were, but their punishment just seemed too extreme. You didn't deserve to have to witness…" I trailed off and his eyes widened slightly.

"You do not need to worry. I was young, I don't remember much of it." He told me and I shook my head sadly.

"You shouldn't have been allowed to see that, you were just an innocent child! I can only imagine how sad you felt, and you had to keep all that sadness to yourself. You were forced to grow up too fast." I said, but he didn't say anything. Obviously, he felt the same but it doesn't change what happened. He lowered his face.

"Everyone suffers in life Rukia. I was the only person left who could inherit all of the family's responsibilities. I often wonder how life would have been if my family hadn't fallen apart, but I don't pity myself. Things are the way they are, and even if I could change anything, I wouldn't. Perhaps if I hadn't lost my family I wouldn't have found you and Hisana." He said gently.

"I am indeed young, and I have decided that until I know myself better and understand my duties well enough to teach them to the next generation that I will not comply with any unreasonable orders from the elders. It occurred to me that if I did have an heir, they would influence him into becoming someone unworthy of my position and if worst became worse I would have to kill my own children just like grandfather did. I will wait until I am wiser before starting a family and then I will personally guide my child through the correct path, but knowing what growing up too quickly would do, I would let them experience their youth unwanted before I pass on the mantle, and hopefully when I do retire, you and I will be a reliable elders who think of the needs of the head of the family as well as the family's own needs." He told me and gestured for me to follow him out of the room.

I smiled at him behind his back. He definitely was the best head of the clan so far, and he would become even better once he grows into himself and gains more confidence in his position.

"Also, Rukia. From now on if you aren't too busy I would like you to attend the meetings with the elders with me. It will be unpleasant but perhaps we can learn together how we should be when one day we are in their position." He told me as we entered the dining room.

"Alright, but then we should go together. There's no way I am going to walk into a lion's den by myself." I told him and he laughed lightly. He actually laughed. I knew my eyes must have been sparkling out of amusement but I could help but fawn over the rare sound.

"I like your laugh, I am going to try and make you laugh more often." I told him and nudged him before taking my seat. For a moment he also seemed stunned. Like he didn't realise that he actually laughed. We ate in silence as usual.

"Byakuya…" I said but trailed off, I never really used his name before. It would take some getting used to before I could confidently address him.

"Yes, Rukia?" He asked after a moment of silence. My cheeks must have been aflame but I decided to be daring and ask him anyway.

"Are you busy now?" I asked him shyly. And fiddled with the chopsticks on my empty plate.

"Not particularly, why do you ask?" He replied patiently. I swallowed a lump in my throat and looked up to meet his gaze.

"Well I wanted to train a bit. You know how Yoruichi can turn into a cat? Well I read something in the book about the origin of the history of the clan, apparently you are all descendants of heavenly bodies…do you have an animal form?" I asked and tried my best to hold his gaze but I ended up looking away. His lip pulled up a little at my reaction.

"I do have an animal-like form. The four great noble houses all represent one of four phantom beasts. Yoruichi's true form isn't actually a cat either, but she does enjoy rolling around in the dirt for some strange reason." He told me and finished his tea.

"Oh wow! What can you turn into?" I asked him and he frowned slightly.

"I suppose I could show you, but we will need to leave the house and head far enough away from the Seireitei for me to show you properly, though this form has absolutely no relevance to me as I never need to use it for any reason. It is merely a shadow of the past." He said and got up from his position and offered me a hand.

BYAKUYA

I don't know why I decided to humour her. I suppose it didn't harm anyone and it hardly mattered if anyone knew. We simply didn't use our animal forms because we have grown out of them and no longer need them. Still, I didn't mind sharing a little bit of myself with her.

We stopped outside of Rukongai eighty, Zaraki. Here we would be less disturbed and we were far away enough not to be noticed by the Seireitei.

"You need to stay a good distance away from me. Once I can control my spiritual pressure I will come to you." I said to her and she nodded hesitantly. I stretched my back and rolled my shoulders, then I converted my body to pure Reishi. Eventually I felt released. I turned around to see her expression. At least she wasn't afraid. She looked up at me in wonder. I closed my eyes and focused on making myself smaller, eventually when I was about as big as a turkey I called out to her, thankfully she worse her gloves today, or else my talons would surely tear through her flesh.

"Rukia, hold out your arm." I asked her in my childlike voice. I didn't know why my voice sounded as a child's in this form or why Yoruichi's sounded male but things were as they were. She obeyed me and I leapt into the air. I flew around her a few times before I felt like I could land gently on her outstretched arm. I stretched my legs out in front of me and grabbed hold of her as gently as I could. I hovered my wings around me until I was sure that I was well enough balanced and closed them at my sides. Her other hand twitched slightly as if not sure what to do.

"You may touch me if you so wish, but please do not pull out any feathers." I asked her kindly.

"Who would ever want to hurt something as beautiful as you! But, what type of bird are you?" She asked me in wonder. I turned a silver eye towards her face as she brought her hand up to touch my wing.

"The form of the Kuchiki's is a phoenix. As you can see, I only have one tail tendril and only one crown feather, symbolling that this is my first life. If I am ever lucky enough to reincarnate, in the next life I shall have two of each and so on, that is if the family line doesn't end with me." I told her with the barest hint of sadness.

"Byakuya, can I please take a photo of you in this form? Have you seen yourself before?" She asked me timidly.

"You may only take a photo of me in this state if you swear to keep it only for your own eyes. I have glimpsed myself in the reflections of water, there are many more beautiful birds than I." I told her and she flicked my beak gently.

"Stop that. You are the most beautiful bird I have ever seen in my entire life! And trust me I have seen many birds in my lifetime." She told me as she searched her obi for the cell phone device. She took a picture of me before frowning.

"Do you think you could spread out your wings a bit? And look at the camera?" She asked. She winced slightly as I moved closer to her hand and spread out my wings. When she was finished taking her photos I decided to have some fun with her.

"Rukia, do you think I took you all the way out her to sit on your arm and be admired?" I asked her and she looked abashed.

"I guess not but what else do you want to show me?" She asked in confusion.

"You have seen Yoruichi's thunder god form as well have you not? She is not the only one with an elemental attribute, though I do not know how to maintain a mortal form as she does so I will have to ascend into the sky to show you what it looks like, remember it well because I do not like this form and would like to avoid it at all costs." I told her and she nodded excitedly.

I flapped my wings a few times experimentally before I launched into the air. Once I was high enough in the sky I let my physical form melt away completely, leaving my body as a massive lightning constructed birdlike creature.

I let myself grow in size until I was sure that I was the size of a small mountain. I screeched out and flew past Rukia, only grazing the ground below. Her hands covered her ears but her eyes full of excitement and fright were trained on me. I screeched again and breathed out a stream of lightning, obliterating a cliff in the distance. Once I decided that she had seen enough I worked on my self-control, trying to reign in the wild beast and centre my consciousness into human form.

Once I was once again myself, I felt absolutely exhausted and it was already dark out. I walked up to Rukia and groaned. I wasn't over yet, we came out so far as to not disturb anyone else or draw attention to ourselves but now it was far too far to walk back home. I would have to flash step us home. I sighed and put and arm under Rukia's arms so that I could pick her up easier to flash step. It took longer than usual though. A few minutes at least. I groaned and released Rukia so that I could drag myself to my room.

"Byakuya are you alright?" She asked me in concern and followed me to my room. I grunted in response and dropped to my knees on my futon and let my face fall into my pillow.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" She asked again trying to get some type of confirmation out of me.

"Everywhere." I told her, and at first, she didn't seem to understand me before she walked into my bathroom and began running a bath for me. I was touched at her kindness, but really it was my fault for being eccentric. I hardly ever tried to show flare, but being called a 'pretty bird' made me show off a little too much. I'm going to feel this in the morning. I grumbled into my pillow.

"Okay, you have to get up. The bath is ready. I know you don't want to do anything at the moment, but if you have a bath I promise to give you a treat afterwards." She offered. I sighed. I crouched on my elbows and bowed my neck before pushing myself back onto my knees. I was trying really hard not to show how sore I was but I couldn't help but cringe when I moved my arms. I wasn't used to transforming, and wings were very complicated. I was just about to close the bathroom door when she called out to me.

"Wait! What about your night clothes? I'm beginning to think you like being naked around me." She teased and my cheeks lit up. I looked forlornly at my closet before groaning.

"Could you please get out the blue yukata for me Rukia?" I asked and she smiled, happy to do something for me. She gave it to me and I thanked her softly before I closed the door and forced myself to relax for my bath.

RUKIA

I left Byakuya to bath while I looked for my scented oils. From what I observed, it was his back and shoulders that hurt the most. I had plenty of practice on Renji and Ichigo so I hoped that they didn't lie about my massaging skills. The last thing I want to do is hurt him more. By the time I I had changed into my nightwear I heard brother come out of his bathroom. I gave him a few minutes before I knocked at his door. He told me I could come in but he was already in bed laying flat on his stomach.

"Okay, you are going to have to work with me here." I said after placing the two bottles of oil next to him.

"What do you mean?" He asked with his face in the pillow. I almost laughed at the pitiful state he was in. no one would ever believe me if I told them about this.

"I mean, I am trying to give you your reward, but you have to take your shirt off." I said and he rolled his head to look at me.

"I will be fine in the morning, you don't really need to do anything." He said but I flicked his ear and he flinched before glaring at me.

"Let me help you. You will feel better sooner, trust me." I told him and smiled to try and encourage him. He really looked put out. Eventually he sighed and sat up, pulling the top of the yukata down so that his midsection was exposed.

"On your belly." I told him and looked away. He flopped ungracefully back onto his belly. He must really be in pain for him to act this way. Even around me.

First, I took out the muscle relieve oil and shook the bottle a bit. I hoped that he wouldn't mind me sitting on him but I straddled his butt and he didn't move or protest so I shrugged before pouring a generous quantity of the oil into the palm of my hand and placing the bottle beside me. I began rubbing his back, first softly before I grew more confident and started massaging him. He groaned and I paused.

"I'm sorry, am I hurting you?" I asked and he lifted his head and shook it before flattening his face back into the pillow. I took that as a job being well done. I continued until the oil was used up, then I poured some of the sakura scented oil on his back and began rubbing it in. It was meant to relax you, and it smelt really nice too. Eventually I finished and closed the caps on the bottles before climbing off of him. Then I heard it. A light snore. I smiled to myself, finally he let me help him. I covered him up warmly before going back to my room and tucking myself in. I talked to Kon for a while before I fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

RUKIA

I woke up just before ten in the morning. I groaned and took my time getting ready. I had a bath and took proper care of myself before leaving my room. I thought about having an early lunch but when I walked past Byakuya's room I noticed there wasn't any light coming from under the door. I knocked but there wasn't a response. I opened the door a crack just to peek inside. It was still relatively dark inside. And Byakuya was still asleep. I panicked. Maybe he wasn't well? Or I hurt him by accident?

I walked to him and kneeled next to him, I tried to nudge him softly to wake him up but he just muttered and turned away from me. I pulled the covers down from his shoulders and gently ticked his ribs. He snorted and he scrunched up his face before shivering and opening his eyes.

"Good afternoon." I joked when he woke up a bit more. And turned to face me.

"That is the best I've slept in decades. I don't even remember falling asleep. Thank you Rukia." He said and my cheeks bled with pride.

"I'm glad you let me help you. Can I show you something?" I asked him and he nodded. I took my phone out of my obi and looked through my pictures, when I found them I asked him to sit up and I sat next to him. I showed him the pictures I had taken of his bird form, and even a few I managed to take of his storm form. He looked really amazed.

"Honestly, I was afraid you would zap me by accident, but I'm glad I got to see your other forms. You really are a pretty bird." I told him and his cheeks coloured a little.

"What did my sister think of your other forms?" I asked him and he shrugged.

"I never showed her, she never asked. And I didn't want her to think that I was anything other than human, even if my soul was different than hers." He told he. I felt sad for him. He tried so hard all the time.

"Do you want to have lunch now? I want to go to the world of the living for something afterwards." I asked him and he nodded.

"I would like to prepare for the day first. I will meet you at the dining room, and Rukia? Why do you want to go to the world of the living?" He asked me curiously.

"I need to thank Kisuke for his gift, and I have a bit of shopping to do. I also want to get something for my room. I never really took an interest in decorating my room but I thought of something nice I could put on one of my walls and I would like to order it if I can't get it done today." I told him and he nodded.

"May I accompany you? Perhaps you could show me around a little bit before we leave for Obon?" He asked me. Oh, I had forgotten completely about Obon.

"You can if you are up to it, you were in a lot of pain last night, perhaps you should take it easy?" I offered kindly, although I had other motives to wanting him to stay away from me while I completed my tasks.

"I feel much better, maybe a little stiff but still well enough to go with you." He told me and got up to walk over to his closet. I told him that I would be in the dining room and left him to get ready.

Once breakfast was finished we climbed into our gigai's. I dressed mine in the hipster skinny jeans Ichigo bought me and a blue quarter sports tank top and black sneakers. I brushed my hair into a high ponytail and wore my friendship ring and my wedding ring on my left middle finger. I left for the Senkaimon and saw brother waiting for me as usual. He was dressed pretty casually as well, it was strange seeing him like this.

"I'm ready, lets go." I told him and smiled. He thinned his lips and nodded. What was with that look?

In the world of the living, the first place we stopped was Urahara's candy shop. I asked him if I could speak to him in private for a moment, and Yoruichi was only too happy to keep Byakuya busy for me.

"Kisuke. Thank you for saving Kon for me. You don't know how much it means to me, but I actually wanted to ask you a favour. Do you think you could get me another cell phone? I want to get one for Byakuya but a regular phone wouldn't work in our world. He seems to be taking an interest in photos and music so I really want to try and encourage him. As usual, money isn't an issue and time isn't too pressing although I wanted to gift it to him soon." I said and he nodded his head in understanding.

"Well, it doesn't take too much work really. If you're sticking around for a while you can come and pick it up later. As for pricing, you only need to pay for the phone itself, I would be happy to help you free or charge." He said and winked at me.

"Yeah, I'll be around town for a while, there is still something I want to do. Byakuya is taking me to the Obon festival tonight. Its my first time going to a festival in the Soul Society so I'm anticipating it. I'll come around when we're ready to go home. Say Kisuke, do you know any fun places to hang out at the moment? I know the Summer festival is in a week weeks' time so other than that I don't know what to kill for time." I said in fake boredom.

"Well…I heard that Aquarium near the harbour just re-opened, perhaps you could amuse yourself there?" He offered and I smiled and nodded.

"Yes, that does sound interesting! Thank you Kisuke." I said as we walked out of the room we were talking in. Byakuya got up and walked out the door without so much as a farewell.

"Ah Yoruichi, were you teasing the poor boy again?" Kisuke reprimanded falsely. I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"I'll you guys later then!" I yelled over my shoulder as I ran out of the house. I quickly jogged to catch up with Byakuya.

"How could you leave me with that evil cat creature? I swear she was contemplating eating me." He said and shivered.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to thank Kisuke and ask him something. Let's go to the music store first?" I asked and he nodded, if only because he didn't know anywhere else to go. After walking in town for a while Byakuya seemed to grow a little more agitated.

"Is something wrong? You don't look like you are enjoying yourself at all, are you sure you are feeling better?" I asked him cautiously. He looked at me quickly and looked away.

"You are attracting a lot of attention with your attire." He said and put his hands in his pockets.

"No way. I'm not that attractive." I said and waved my hand in the air, calling his bluff. He scoffed.

"Yes, you are, if the number of people looking at you is anything to go by." He said and looked me in the eye.

"I don't think so. I'm kind of short and basically flat chested, not that attractive really. I mean the only people that I know of who have been attracted to me were Renji and Ichigo." I said and shrugged. I walked into the music store and went straight for the earphones. I needed to get a new pair myself, and Byakuya would need a pair as well. Byakuya was listening to the cd preview music machine while I looked around for lanyards. I found a pretty glittering sakura one for Byakuya, but I couldn't find any bunny shaped lanyards so I settled for sparkling snowflake. I paid for my goods and had my bag taped shut so brother couldn't see what was inside. I tapped his arm and he looked at me.

"I'm all done here. Did you find anything you liked? These songs are free for the public to download, so it you like something I can get it for you?" I offered, he smiled slightly and placed the head phones back where he found them.

"I quite like instrumental music, but I don't know what the instrument being played is." He gestured to the picture of a piano on the monitor.

"Oh! Piano music? I like it too, I can actually play a few songs myself. I'll download some while we're walking." I told him and took out my phone, I put the volume a little louder so Kon could hear me.

"Hey Kon?" I called and immediately pressed my finger against the speaker.

"Rukia! I missed you!" He wailed. I sighed.

"Listen Kon, could you please browse the internet for me? I would like for you to download different genres of instrumental piano music. While you are at it, could you check my subscriptions and download some new music? I'll delete what I don't like, but please no rap music or heavy metal, I swear they could make my ears bleed." I asked him and he told me he would as soon as he was finished watching a show. I turned back to brother who was watching me curiously.

We walked out the shop and to a printing company a little while a way from where we were. I walked in and asked if they could print something on canvas for me. I gave them the picture and they told me it would be ready in about an hour. I told them we were just going to the aquarium and I would pick it up when we were done. Brother glared at the man helping me and I sighed. I decided to get an A2 printout of Byakuya's bird form so I could hang it in my room. He really was the prettiest bird I've ever seen. I smiled at Byakuya and took his hand.

"I want to show you something. I saw it once on a school trip and it was really beautiful, sadly they only open for four months out of the entire year." I told him and he finally looked as if he relaxed a bit.

I took many photos at the aquarium, of the otters and seals, of the penguins, the dolphins and the killer whale, the fish and even Byakuya, though I made sure he wasn't looking. He seemed to have a constant look of wonder on his face. It was nice to see him enjoy himself. he even bought a crystal dolphin to keep as a souvenir. We walked back to the printing company and I walked behind the counter to inspect the printout. It was exceptional. I rolled it up neatly and held the pole under my arm. Before I could leave the man, who helped me cleared his throat.

"Ah, you wouldn't by any chance be free, later would you? We could grab a bit or watch a movie or- "He trailed of and gulped. I turned around and saw brother glaring daggers at him.

"I'm sorry I don't really date, but thank you for your offer!" I bowed lightly before walking out with Byakuya.

"What was that? It's not like I would have accepted his request anyway." I told him as we walked back to Urahara's shop. He scoffed.

"You didn't see how he was looking at you since you weren't facing his direction. You are a fool to believe you are unattractive. Not everyone likes big busted women, and to some people tall woman are unattractive, and you are forgetting what remarkable eyes you have, I'm sure any man who so much as looks at you with have his beating heart stolen by you." He said and I sputtered.

"I'm flattered, but I still don't think that's true, which reminds me, I want to give you something when we come back from the Obon festival. It nothing much really but I think you will enjoy it." I told him as I knocked on the shops door. It slid open and we were greeted by Tessai, we apologised for Kisuke and Yoruichi being out but he said that Kisuke left a package for me. I nodded and accepted the package and with him and everyone else well before we left to open the Senkaimon in piece.

BYAKUYA

I couldn't express my relief at finally being home. The world of the living wasn't nearly as bad as I used to feel it was, and I did quiet enjoy myself, the atmosphere and the company was delightful, if only my company realised how much unwanted attention she was drawing to us. Its true that she wasn't the only woman dressed revealingly, in fact many others were worse and incredibly distasteful, it was however the fact that she lacked confidence in her appeal that bothered me. She was the most attractive woman in the entire Soul Society, even her zanpakuto which was titled the most beautiful zanpakuto in all of the history of the Soul Society was a testimony to her beauty, but she was so modest.

We walked to our own rooms and agreed to meet in an hour's time. That gave me enough time to prepare myself for the festival. I couldn't wear my kenseikan because they were a dead giveaway to my identity, and Rukia couldn't wear the scarf. I did however have other accessories to adorn myself with.

I wore my kimono tightly, the black and the red looked almost ominous even to my own eyes, at least it would hopefully keep people away from us. I held my hair out of my face with an obsidian comb encrusted with rubies, and carefully wore my mask over my face. The eyes look sinister and the sharp looking beak looks dangerous, at least these masks were open past the nose, for eating and speaking purposes I'd imagine.

I walked to Rukia's room and rapt at the door, after much scurrying around she opened the door. She looked stunning. Her hair was neatly pinned up into a bun with her own hair acting as a natural bow. The kimono suited her character well, what with its rabbits hopping about, and her delicate and gentle looking owl mask seemed to complement her mouth and eyes well. I gestured for her to follow me but she pouted and pulled my sleeve for me to follow her into her room.

There hanging on the wall was a life size portrait of the picture she was taken of me with my wings spread majestically. You could see that I was a young bird, but I was already filling out in all the right places, my talons gleamed and my small but sharp beak shone. Even my eyes expressed the affection I held for her. I felt embarrassed to admit it but I was a rather attractive bird.

"It is beautiful, Rukia. But are you sure you want a portrait of me hanging in your room?" I asked her and she blinked in confusion.

"Of course, why not? Besides, how many people actually know that this lovely bird is you? I can identify similar characteristics only because I know who it is, but to anyone who doesn't know any better it is just an artwork." She said and shrugged. I hummed in agreement and walked out of her room to the foyer to wait for her.

We walked from the compound to the gates of district one. I tied a loose sash around each of our wrists so that we would not be separated and led Rukia to the area where the festivities had started. Her eyes were wide and excited, like a child's. It was endearing to witness. I watched her eyeing the carp pool. It was a game where if you caught a fish you could keep it. The game owner from district one was well known for his carp breeding. If I wanted an addition I would usually get it on my own time during more comfortable circumstances.

I saw her take notice of a few of the better-looking carp until she spotted one that she could barely tear her eyes from.

"Byakuya, Byakuya!" She whispered and tugged my sleeve.

"Yes, what is it?" I asked her and looked at where she was gesturing.

"Look! Have you ever seen a koi that colour?! Can't we bring it home with us, please!" She begged, and my jaw almost dropped to the ground.

"The rarest blue spotted koi?!" I gasped under my breath and she frantically nodded her head. It was a magnificent creature indeed. It had pale blue eye's and short white whiskers on either side of its mouth. The top of its back was spotted in cerulean and navy-blue patches.

The only problem was that there were hundreds of other koi in the basin and chances of catching it were slim, chances of catching it without harming it were even slimmer. We watched the fish like hawks. I couldn't ask the owner to keep it for me because that was against the sport of the game, and I would be revealing my presence. I felt a groan forming in my throat. I almost wished that we had never spotted it in the first place.

I was too wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice Rukia had paid for a few rounds at the game and was slowly dragging me closer to where the fish swam in panic around its brethren. I did notice however when she gently placed the next on the top of the watch at waited patiently for the fish to resurface as it did every few moments before other fish pushed it beneath them. In a flick of her wrist she turned the next upside down and right side up, catching the fish. It flopped about and she confidently drew it closer and closer. Until the next snapped and a look of utter ran over her face she quickly took the second net and scooped the fish up again before it could dive under the water and become lost among the others. She held her breath and quickly flopped the nets contents into the receiving tank.

"Congratulations! Will you be taking this fish with you now or would you like for me to deliver it to your residence?" He man asked her as she clutched her chest in relief. I felt incredibly proud of her. I could have done it myself but I wouldn't have risked harming it, she however seemed positive that she could do it without harming it.

"Uh…hmm?" She nudged me and I sighed sadly.

"We would like it to be brought to our residence as soon as possible. Do you have a reference number for his fish so I might give you my details?" I asked the man and he seemed to be trying to put a face to my voice.

"Here is my register, you maybe write down your contact details and the reference number it the number of the transportation crate." He told me he passed me a charcoal holder and a book. I wrote down my details and handed it back to him. I quickly guided Rukia away from the area and to a different area where people probably hadn't seen us yet.

"You did really well catching that fish, im sure it will be with the family for generations. I am proud." I said to her and I barely caught the shining in her eyes before he hugged my arm. I smiled. I felt that as long as no one knew who we were it wouldn't matter if I tried to have a little fun, besides if I didn't im sure Rukia wouldn't enjoy her time nearly as much.

I yawned behind my fan and placed it back under my obi. Rukia took me to a stall that had rather suspect looking food. It didn't look quite cooked and it didn't quiet look like squid. I followed my gut and dragged her away to the stalled that were selling freshly steamed sweet potatoes, dumplings, rice balls, and sushi. I took her hand and quietly led her to an isolated table and waited for a server to come to us. The sushi wasn't terrible even if the food at home was better, at least Rukia enjoyed her dumplings and cucumber tea.

It was getting late and I began to grow wary, I let her finish a game that had a lottery. The prize was a weekend trip to the hot springs. We could go whenever we want to really, but I suppose its always fun if you win something. I put my hand on her shoulder and took her to the arena where the lanterns were being kept for the people who wanted to communicate with the deceased. As always, I would write down Hisana's name this year, but I decided that for the good of the clan I would put my fear of my grandfather's disappointment to rest and ask him for his guidance once more. I needed insight on how to proceed and bring the family forward. I also wanted to reach out to Abarai and Kurosaki.

Against my better judgement I viewed their soul's migration course in the records of the departed, however what I saw was that Abarai hadn't yet moved on, and Kurosaki had seemingly vanished. The records said where he died, how he died, who killed him, absolutely everything about it, except where was sent to. He wasn't sent to heaven or hell, I checked. He wasn't reincarnated in either world either, I looked at that as well. Oh, how I anticipated the lectures grandfather was going to give me for breaking the law. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't stand watching Rukia believing in something that might not ever happen. Shame clutched my heart, for I knew that even if I hadn't changed the records, I had still used them selfishly. If I couldn't even resist that, what would stop me from the unforgivable? Were my parents' deaths meaningless? Was my denying to help Hisana meaningless? Could I really not ever keep my word?

Once Rukia and I had completed out lanterns we lit the candles inside them and sent them adrift along the river. Now it was done. All that's left to do is wait.

When we returned home, a pair of servants were staring anxiously at the crate the koi was being kept in. I dismissed them and carried the crate to our private gardens outside out bed chambers. Rukia held a light above the crate so I could properly examine the fish. I gave it its deworming tablet and placed a Kuchiki tracking device in the base of its tail. It looked perfectly healthy. Wit that we bid each other good night and retired to our rooms.

I was about to turn out the lamp by my bedside when a soft tap and my door along with a whisper stopped me.

"You may come in." I said and hoped that our time together wouldn't take long because I was indeed exhausted.

"Hi. I'm sorry to disturb you but did you forget that I wanted to give you something when we got home?" She asked quietly and came and sat on my covers. She placed a small black box in front of me and gestured for me to open it.

I opened it carefully and sorted through the shredded paper to find three objects, a pair of earphones, a cell phone and a tiny black string with a plastic sakura blossom on it.

"I thought that since you were taking an interest in music and photography that I would get you a phone as well, when you have time I would be happy to teach you how to use it. And here," She said as she retrieved the cell phone from my hands. She took the flower and thread the string through a hole before sticking the flower through it and pulling it though tightly.

"This is a lanyard, think of it as a form of identification. It makes the object more person for the owner, see this one is the one I got myself." She said and showed me her phone with a gleaming snowflake hanging from its corner. I felt something strange and warm flood my chest. It was a very nice gesture on her part.

"Also, these earphones will be useful if you want to keep your music to yourself at home or at work, maybe the music will have the long hours of paper work a little easier?" She joked and got up.

"Well, good night!" She said and quickly hurried to my door.

"Wait!" I called out, a little louder than intended. I cleared my throat before continuing.

"This was really thoughtful of you Rukia, I really appreciate it, thank you." I said and smiled.

"You're welcome. I hope you like it!" She said and bowed briefly before leaving my room and returning to her own room. I knew that it was possible for one of the spirits I sought to try and communicate with me in my sleep. I didn't look forward to it but I knew that it was necessary. I put the items neatly back into the small black box and placed it beside me. I tried to relax on my back and shut out all of my thoughts. It wasn't long before sleep claimed me and I walked down a dirt path surrounded by shacks and huts, and dirty stalls. I remembered this place. This was the seventy eighth district, Hanging Dog.

Finally, had I managed to get through to Hisana?


	9. Chapter 9

BYAKUYA

I ran to the place where we first met, that should be where she should have been. It was usually a place of significance to both parties where they could rondeau. I looked for her and I waited for a few moments, but she wasn't here. Perhaps she was at the rice fields where we used to stargaze? I ran to the rice fields and made sure to check our old hangout places along the way. I was sorely disappointed each time I didn't find Hisana, but each time I failed I grew more and more confident that I would find her by the rice fields on the outskirts of the district.

I stumbled slightly from exhaustion. I checked under the trees in the surrounding areas, on the roofs of the shacks and in cultivated areas. Was she deliberately hiding from me? Like the games we used to play? I huffed and bent over, resting my hands on my knees and trying to catch my breath. There was no way I could search the entire field. My heart pained me. I've been waiting patiently for almost fifty years, just to see her again, if only briefly to send her off. Did I do something to displease her? Did she hate me for telling Rukia about her? I thought for a while where she could be. I rechecked each location and carefully filed through my memories of every place we ever went together. Eventually I decided to find higher ground and started jogging towards the hill over looking the entire district. If I was lucky, perhaps she would be there and my troubles would finally end.

I reached the stairs leading up the cliff and decide to run to close the distance quickly. When I finally reached the top of the stairs I leaned on the wall of the cliff and groaned, sucking in painful breaths of air that I had deprived myself of. I was aware that this was a dream and I didn't have to feel exhausted but my current emotional state was really what was tiring me out and not the physical exertion. We I felt well enough to stand upright once more I lifted my face and glanced at the peak of the hill. There were three mounds near the top, and I could just barely see a figure sitting at the edge.

Utter despair and disappointment hit me like a hammer to the chest. My hope and my heart were crushed into ashes and scattered in the wind. He didn't face me but I knew he must have seen me running around the entire district.

"I'm really sorry captain. Honestly. I didn't choose this place either, I would have much rather have met back at the office as if nothing had happened. I didn't expect us to be brought here when I accepted your invitation. I'm truly sorry." Said Reji as he dug his fingers roughly into his thighs. I collected myself quickly. The tears that spilled from my eyes didn't stop, but I kept my composure and approached him.

"It isn't your fault. I acted foolishly. I have suspected for a while that she had already passed on, but that didn't stop me from hoping." I told him as I sat beside him. He looked like he was going to protect but took one glance at me before closing his mouth.

"I miss the office you know? All this time in limbo has really been messing with my head. I didn't think I had regrets when I was alive but now that I've been watching everyone from a distance and rethinking my life over, I realised that I still had so many regrets, even some I didn't realise I would regret. Like marrying Rukia." He said and my grief turned into anger.

"Swine! Say that again!" I yelled and grabbed him by the scruff of his kimono. He grunted and looked away from me.

"It's not like that. You know once you told me that we were completely different people. I don't think we are different at all." He told me and I shoved him harshly and glared at him, urging him to continue before I was tempted to cut our farewell short.

"I was so in love with Rukia since well forever. I let her go because I wanted the best for her. And she got it. She moved forward. I just couldn't. I knew that we loved each other as friends. I knew that we grew into different people over the years and deep down in my heart I knew, I just knew, that she would never be able to love me as a man. But I proposed and she was too kind to reject me. I know she was sacrificing on her part, trying to love me when it was a lost cause. All it did was cause her suffering that she couldn't explain. I lost sight of what really mattered to me from the start. Her happiness. And I ruined our lifelong friendship over my selfishness. God, I hope she doesn't resent me, even if I deserve it." He said and shook his head and covered his forehead with his hand.

I didn't know what to say to him. He was right. But it is human to make mistakes, and he genuinely didn't realise his mistake until after he had died.

"Tell me, how are we alike?" I asked him and he sighed.

"I mean no offence, but you do realise I have been around the two of you the entire time, right? We both married the women we were absolutely crazy about and knew that they didn't love us the same way. We hoped that that would change but it didn't. And we both lost them. I just hope that she can find someone else to love. I hope the same for you, but you are too damn stubborn to put yourself out there. Being dead and all opened my mind to a bigger picture kind of perspective." He said and shrugged his shoulders.

"Listen. I know I was only a subordinate to you, but I thought of you as a friend as well. You are Rukia's only family now that I'm gone. I know you have been trying to be more open to her, and honestly you far exceeded my expectations. But it hurts me to know that she could be lonely, misunderstood and worse. I know you will protected her anyway. But please. Look after her for me? Don't let her date bad characters, don't let her hide her pain. Let her talk to you if she needs to, you know she would do the same for you. Rukia has been hurt a lot over the years, she hates crying in front of other people because when she is alone she wants to release all her pain that she keeps hidden for our benefit. I know I should have answered Rukia's invitation, but I just couldn't see her again. I think it is what is best for both of us. Tearful goodbyes are the worst." He said in mock sarcasm. Then he pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

"These are the other guys we grew up with. It was a terrible day, they day we lost them. And we never really recovered. I tried to fill the void with her friends at the academy and Rukia isolated herself." He told me sadly. And a portal opened up in the air in front of us.

"I guess that means I can pass on now. I do feel slightly more at peace after seeing a familiar face." He said and stood up.

"I know I have no right to tell you this but, stop waiting for Hisana. Moving on and trying to find happiness isn't a betrayal. Life is all about learning. Someone like you should take life slowly and enjoy it, not rush into things and make rash decisions. I can't believe in going to say this but I really wish you would find happiness." He said and scratched the back of his neck. In truth I was too numb to feel anything.

"I guess this is it then. Goodbye captain. Thank you for everything, it has been an honour to serve under you and I hope with all my heart that I will be able to do so again in another life if fate is kind to me. Be seeing you." She said as he closed his eyes and walked into the portal without hesitation. In truth I was glad I got to see him one last time myself.

"You were the best subordinate a man could have, as well as a loyal friend." I said and bowed to the portal. I was glad it was Renji who answered me and not grandfather. I still needed his guidance and I hoped that my actions didn't shame him enough to refuse me the wisdom I needed to guide the family. I would accept all punishment and advice eagerly. After a while the world around me drowned out before I noticed that I was standing under a sakura tree from home, overlooking the pond. No rest for the weary as they say it. I sighed internally and gazed wistfully as the calm water of the pond without even a single ripple, when inside my heart it was turbulent. I took a deep breath and turned around. I almost tripped and fell into the pond as I did when I was a boy. Grandfather was right behind me sitting at the stone table under the tree sipping his tea. He stared at me.

"Byakuya, why do you look so startled?" He asked me and I forced my eyes to look at my feet and nothing else, even after I sat across from him at the table.

I opened my mouth to apologise but I knew that it was pointless. I realised that I was being rude and even more shameful by refusing to meet his gaze. I clenched my jaws and forced myself to sit upright and look him in the eye.

"I've missed you grandfather. I need your advice. I am willing to do whatever you think best, even step down from my position. Please lend me your guidance!" I finished and bowed. He sighed and looked over the pond.

"I understand Byakuya. I am…terribly disappointed in you but I forgive you. even if I were alive, I would never be able to execute my precious grandchild. There is only so much anguish a parent can take. But you should know that you have chosen your path. Once you give into the temptation of using the records selfishly, there will never be a 'last time', so don't bother giving me your promise to never do it again." He told me and I looked at my hands. I felt like a child again, being scolded for being caught cheating on a test, only it was a much greater, completely unforgivable offence.

"I can't help but bet proud of you though. My time in limbo has made my mind more flexible and I can easily see how difficult your life has been, and I forced so much on you and then left you to fend for yourself. I can honestly say you did the best you could. You are still a child, I know I can't expect you to understand our duties and fulfil them as our predecessors had. You are determined and you could restrain yourself, but a child's heart is always fearless of consequence." He said and we were left in silence once more.

"You said you would do whatever I told you to do, am I correct Byakuya?" He asked me and I looked towards him.

"Yes, grandfather." I said obediently. He looked at me and hardened his gaze.

"Then Rukia Kuchiki is to be executed by your hand. She will be punished of behalf of the both of you. I will absolve your crimes against our family and Soul Society if you do so. That is my judgement. Just because a responsibility is difficult to accomplish doesn't mean it should be left incomplete." He told me and my calm shattered into a million pieces. I couldn't kill her. My hands started shaking onto of my thighs, and the muscles in my abdomen clenched and my body shivered in complete rejection of the command. I stood up on shaking legs and looked my grandfather in the eye.

"Forgive me grandfather but I will not. I don't mind living with a few sins. If that if what you are trying to accomplish is punishment, then I will retire from my position as head of the family and take Rukia away with me. If that is acceptable to you then name the next head of the family for me and any information you will have them know. I am sorry to disappoint you once again." I said and bowed. I stood up straight and walked away from him, but I didn't know where I could go.

I ended up walking to Rukia's room. I just needed something familiar and comforting around me. Her room was bare as if it had never been hers. I looked at the wall directly opposite myself where the portrait of me should have been. Nothing. Fear clenched at my heart. I searched the entire house for anything that connotated to her existence, but there was nothing. I fled the compound and ran to the thirteenth division. I search ledgers and looked at the wall dedicated to previous captains and lieutenants of the division, but there was no trace of her there. I tried to calm myself and told myself that perhaps this was a place from the past, before I found her. I didn't feel as if I could go back home so I walked to my office and slouched in my seat.

This was the most exhausting, emotionally abusive dream I have ever had in my entire life, and trust me I had suffered nightmares that could kill a man from fear. I wasn't really paying attention to anything until my drowsy eyes caught a glint of red. I turned my head sharply to the wall across from my desk. 'Abarai Renji, Lieutenant under captain Kuchiki Byakuya, K.I.A'. This was a seriously horrible dream. If Abarai was here, that means Rukia had to be here somewhere. If not, I can find her at the academy or Hanging Dog, I thought to myself before getting up and lazily walking to the gates leaving to the academy and the eighty districts.

I couldn't pass through, there was some sort of barrier in the dream. I occurred to me that I couldn't leave until grandfather let me. And after what I did, he would keep me here and lecture me until I was rendered mentally insane. I dragged my feet home and to where we were sitting before. He was still there but he didn't acknowledge my presence. I lay my arms on the table top, even if it was impolite, and rested my head on them tiredly.

I groaned in agony. I felt as if my energy was somehow being drained out of my body by force. I could barely keep my eyes open, and this was only a dream. At least it was supposed to be.

"What is happening to me." I groaned as my body ached from exhaustion. Grandfather stilled with the cup to his lips before lowering it onto the table.

"You are dying. That is the alternative. As to your offer, Rukia can live in your stead as long as she marries into the family and provides a service to the next head of the house hold." He told me and my eyes widened in shock.

Whatever. I tried my best with what little I had going for me. I fought for what I believed in and I don't regret anything. My life has been full of suffering but I don't feel sorry for myself, life isn't fair. Hopefully the next life is better.

I closed my eyes and tried to rest through the pain, until it inevitably stopped, releasing me of the chains of this life.

"Do you accept your fate Byakuya?" Asked grandfather softly.

"Yes." I said and I tried to calm myself. It would do no good for me to struggle or try to find a way out of this dream. Maybe it was the type of dream where you make up after you die. Grandfather sighed. I would have opened my eyes but I was too tired to care much about respect at the moment. And then slowly, I started feeling less suffocated. Like pressure had be pushing me down had just lessened.

"I had no intention of damning either you or Rukia, Byakuya. I merely wanted to teach you a lesson. Pick your battles. Knowing when to stand against something difficult and accepting difficulty in life is an important lesson I never had the chance to teach you. You did ask for my advice did you not? My advice is this, if you believe you are in the right despite what accusations and implications are laid ahead of you by the elders, stand firm in the decision you have made. Never second guess your own mind. Being young is only a disadvantage to you if you allow yourself to let it be. None of them were ever the head of the family, and for good reason. However, you mustn't ever ignore council. You must listen and consider before you decide that it is not necessary. Even if it is against what you would have preferred, accept it and embrace it." He told me and I looked up at him in confusion. Why did old people always have to bully the younger generation?

"I don't honestly have any opinion on your adoption of Rukia, she has become strong since you first brought her home. I believe the family should be proud of her accomplishments under our name. She too has made me proud. I am regretful for never having been able to meet her." He told me and stood up. He walked over to the pond and sighed.

"I will be leaving you then, take care Byakuya. I am not yet able to pass on, so I assume I can be called on once more in the future. Hopefully when that time comes I will have fulfilled all my wishes that bind me to this realm. Never forget that I am exceedingly proud of you. Perhaps I cannot move on from limbo because you are yet to keep your promise to me. I asked you to find peace and happiness in this life, even among your pains and sorrows. I am sorry that your marriage was short lasted." He said and stepped into the pond. He just dropped right into it, without a so much as a ripple, and disappeared.

Slowly things became less vibrant and I felt myself being pulled into a deeper slumber.

RUKIA

I was having a really strange dream. I was somewhere in district seventy-eight, but I couldn't quiet recognise it. Probably because it was closer to district seventy-nine than I ever got. There wasn't a person in sight and I didn't know how to get home. No, this place wasn't home anymore. I stopped when by sandals sloshed on the ground. I thought I stood in a puddle of water until bright red started soaking through my socks. My eyes widened in realisation and I screamed. I ran away as fast as I could, but no matter how far I went I never left the bad area, who ever said that you couldn't be lost in a place you have never been?

I shivered and a breath of frost exit my mouth. I heard running but I couldn't see anyone. It made me more afraid and anxious. I heard a bottle shatter and I ran into the nearest ally and faced the exit. I walked back until I felt safe in the dirty corner away from whatever made the sound. Just then something grabbed my wrist. I screamed and ripped myself free and backed away from the person.

My eyes widened in shock and recognition. I lifted a shaking hand and pointed at her. No words left my mouth though. She walked towards me slowly and placatingly with her arms stretched out in front of her trying to reach me. I continued to step back and I contemplated running until she spoke.

"I know you know who I am. I won't hurt you. What is your name?" She asked me. And continued to close the space between us.

"R-Rukia Kuchiki." I told her and flinched as somewhere in this ghost town a screaming infant wailed. I took a shuddering breath and looked into her eyes.

"Kuchiki? Did you also marry Byakuya? Or a relative of his?" She asked me and my eyes widened.

"No! No! Byakuya found me and adopted me into the family as his sister." I defended and watched her hands cautiously.

"I see. I know you know who I am, but I will introduce myself to you. My name is Hisana- "She said before I cut her off.

"Yes, my older sister, brother told me everything." I told her an if I hadn't been looking closely at her seemingly peaceful face I wouldn't have noticed the look of violent anger that passed her expression. At my interruption or at the fact that Byakuya hadn't kept her secret, the reason wasn't relevant however when she reached me and rubbed her arms up and down my arms.

"I told him not to tell you. on my deathbed as well. It doesn't matter, it wasn't true anyway." She told me and my blood ran cold and a shiver of fear raked my spine.

"What do you mean? Why did you lie to brother?" I asked her timidly. She moved her hand to my cheek and held my face as if I was the most precious thing in the world.

"It was private. He didn't need to know the truth about something so personal to me. You must be wondering about my relation to you then?" She asked me and I nodded.

"You are my daughter." She told me and I shook as I looked into her eyes. She was my mother? I opened my mouth but I couldn't think of anything to say. She drew me closer to herself and I pulled my arms to my chest defensively. She hugged me and tried to rub my back soothingly, only the contact with her was making me feel even worse.

"I was a concubine in the palace. I fell pregnant with you and your father; the emperor would have raised you as an heir if you were male but when I was in labour before you were born completely one of the maids told me that you were female. All female children of the emperor were taken and raised to be concubines for the next generation, as I was. When I was left for a moment during the delivery I walked to the balcony in as much pain as I was in and fell. When I was found by a soul reaper and sent on to the Soul Society, as you were still unborn when we died you were sent with me here, to this place. This place that seemed so impossible to escape. At least I had you. I saved you from a terrible life that awaited you and I didn't need to live to watch it happen." She told me and I shivered. She was truly frightening.

"I didn't abandon you on purpose though. You see I made a deal with a smuggler who was going to help us to a more liveable side of the district. I had to leave you for a few hours though because the people who bought me wouldn't have accepted me if I had a child and I was afraid they might hurt you. Once I was safely on the other side of the district, my smuggler friend was supposed to meet me with you, but it seems that his work finally killed him and you were lost to me. I found a way relatively safe between either sides of town to travel when I searched for you. But you just seemed to disappear. I never gave up on fining you and making things right. I promise I died searching for you." She told me. Tears of hurt and confusion flooded my eyes and my chest constricted tightly. I wanted to ask her why she married Byakuya, but I was too afraid.

"At least I have the opportunity to see you now. I held on this long hoping beyond hope that I would one day find you again, even if it was in death. You are all grown up, and doing well it seems. Nothing can make me happier." She said and held my face lovingly in her hands. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest. I pulled myself away from her and wiped my face.

"I don't understand. Weren't you friends with Byakuya? Why did you agree to marry him if you didn't care for him?" I asked her and she looked truly shocked.

"I suppose we were friends. But to me he was no different that your father when her asked me to marry him, even in my sickly health. All that matters to men like him is securing the heir for the next generation. I agreed to marry him because whether or not I fulfilled my purpose as his wife, I would be closer to finding you. What mother puts a man and his ambitions above her own child's safety?" She asked me and I looked her in the eye. Did she truly not understand?

"He was in love with you. He believed that you were his friend! He even tried to improve your way of living long before he asked for your hand! He went against his family's laws just to be with you, don't you understand what he did for you? Even after you died he fulfilled your wish! He found me and protected me! He was forced to tell me what he thought was the relation between us because he wanted to salvage a relationship between us since we couldn't go on living ignoring each other. He loved you so much that just looking at me ripped his heart out! Didn't you get his lantern requests? He went every year to try and communicate with you! Almost every day he spent hours in the memorial room paying his respects to you, missing you! How could he possibly mean so little to you?" I screamed at her and slapped her hands away from me violently until she flinched. I admit that having a mother meant a lot more to me that a sister. But I couldn't accept her as such. I would rather die. If I kill myself then Byakuya will be free of all traces of her memory. It is the only thing I can do to make up for what Hisana has done to him. Hisana sighed exasperatedly.

"When we were friends, I was a good friend to him. I won't lie, I truly did care for him. I was thankful for his help over the years, and you have no idea how grateful I am to him for finding you for me. I would have responded to his calls, if for no other reason, to thank him but I couldn't. Even if he did find you, I didn't want to hear it from him, I wanted to see you for myself. I didn't want to be forced to move on before I was ready." She told me. She tried to make herself sound so reasonable.

"You really believe your actions were just? What about committing suicide? You threw away your own life. You didn't even give me the chance to live mine! What makes you think that you knew how our lives would have turned out? My father could have loved me! We could have escaped, you could have run away with me. We could have lived out lives! You didn't even give me a chance! I was innocent! Its your fault! Someone with your sins was sent to district seventy-eight and you dragged me into that hell hole as well! And now you have stained me with your sins! How can I ever look at Byakuya again?! In your life how many people's lives did you ruin? How many lives like your smuggler friend were sacrificed in your search for me? Do you have any idea what you have really done?!" I screeched at her. She retreated frightened of my sudden outburst.

"Well you won. You got to see me again. Now move on and leave me! I don't have the heart to stay with Byakuya after everything you have told me. I will kill myself and remove myself from his life. Hopefully he can forgive me one day. But I truly hope you get the punishment you deserve!" I yelled at her. A fire spitting portal opened up behind her and a skeletal arm shot out and grabbed her. Good she was going where she deserved to be. If I couldn't forgive her, I don't see how any God could. Perhaps Byakuya was kind enough to forgive her, that's just how he is. Before I could try to calm myself, I was pulled towards the portal. Hisana had grasped hold of my sleeve.

"Please! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" She begged. Absolute terror filled me.

"First you murder me, then you abandon me in a whole different kind of hell, and now you are trying to drag me down to actual hell with you?!" I yelled and tried to pull myself backwards.

"If God decided you belonged in hell, what makes you think I feel differently?!" I shouted and pulled my obi free and shrugged out of my yukata. She lost her grip on her and was pulled through the gates of hell. I shut my eyes tightly so that I wouldn't have to watch. She has scarred me enough already, that was something I didn't need to see.

I felt extremely hot from the gates of hell, but once they closed I felt like I was frozen solid. I got focus and tried to wake myself up.

BYAKUYA

It must have been the early hours of the morning. My dreams still weighted heavily on my mind, but I was quickly snapped fully into consciousness when I saw the white bursts of breath coming from my mouth. Why in the world was it so cold?! I bolted upright and covered myself with my gown, not that I had any warmth to keep with me.

I ran to Rukia's room. The floor beneath her door and the better part of the door was covered in a thin layer of frost. I slid her door open only to be hit in the face by a blast of icy air. Rukia lay shivering in her futon. The ground around her was covered in a pillow of think snow. She wasn't even touching her zanpakuto but the blade had slid out of its sheath purely out of her will alone.

I ran to her and knelt in the snow next to her. I pulled her up to me and tried to wake her up.

"Rukia? Rukia please wake up! Its just a bad dream! Rukia? Rukia?" I called her and eventually she opened her eyes but she cried out and shoved me away from her. I tried to calm her down and almost got a foot to the face. I tried to catch her when she scrambled up and made a mad dash for her zanpakuto but she shoved me aside and ran out of her room through the garden doors.

I flash stepped to my room and collected my zanpakuto before quickly following her. It wasn't difficult t track her, her spiritual pressure was fluctuating from her panic. What on earth happened to her? I considered the possibility of her seeing someone from her lantern offering, but who could it be? Abarai spoke with me, I watched him pass on myself. Kurosaki? He would never harm her though.

I was just in time to see her open a Senkaimon and pass through it. That was just like her, running away to the world of the living. I opened a portal quickly and passed through it. Hopefully I haven't lost trace of her.

I stepped into the world of the living and traced her spiritual pressure until suddenly it just vanished. I don't think she was capable of hiding it in the state she was in but I knew what direction she went so I decided to search the area. After a few minutes went by I started panicking. I didn't know where her human friends lived, except the quincy and I really didn't feel like dealing with his kind, surely, she wouldn't have gone there. The next best option was Urahara.

I flash stepped and quickly made it to his residence, his light was on so I assumed I had found the correct place. I knocked and waited. I heard people shouting in hushed voices so I kept knocking until Urahara opened the door.

"My, captain Kuchiki. It's really late don't you think you could come back in the morning? At a decent time?" He asked behind his fan, but for someone who had implied to be tired, he didn't look anything less that one hundred percent alert.

"Urahara. I know Rukia is here, please let me come in so I can bring her home? I don't think she is well." I asked him but tried to enter before he could reply and narrowly missed having my nose broken by his cane.

"I'm sorry I must insist. You are right, Rukia is definitely unwell and for that reason she requested that she stay here until what troubles her is over." He told me and I stilled, forgetting the insult on my tongue.

"What's wrong with her, do you know? Tell me what you know." I demanded and he narrowed his eyes at me. Urahara was our benefactor so an uproar between us wouldn't be good for either party, but we both knew I would win in a fight. And he had his livelihood in the world of the living at stake if he refused.

"Miss Kuchiki is in hysterics because of an awful encounter with a spirit in limbo. She said she can't seem you until she shows you what happened, I am currently using my memory recording device to record her dream with the departed. She insisted that it be shown to you, she also said that she can't go home for some reason. Said she didn't want to hurt you anymore. Yoruichi is with her trying to help her with the recorder. Now if you don't mind, its late. Time for you to be going." He told me and I almost growled at him.

"Look, I don't know what is wrong with her but I would never hurt her! I should stay with her to show her that what she seems to believe is false, then when this is over we will leave together and I will pay you generously as always for being of assistance to us." I tried to reason with him and he sighed and closed his fan.

"I'm sorry captain Kuchiki, I believe I asked you to leave. I am not currently doing business with you or miss Kuchiki, I am merely helping her as a friend." He said coldly and I flinched. I opened my mouth and licked my suddenly too dry lips. I tried to form words only to end up unsuccessful. Then there was a crash and a yell grabbed both of our attention. I groaned unhappily and looked at Urahara, looked at his cane and looked at the door.

"Apologies." I said as I flashed past him towards the noise. Yoruichi was putting a cone shaped device in a container when I found her.

"You." I growled out.

"Where is she?" I bit out and felt around for her spiritual pressure. Yoruichi looked startled, and I suppose anyone would be if the saw the head of the Kuchiki family running around bare foot in nothing but his night clothes.

"I told her the memory capture was complete and she bolted. I tried to restrain her but she pulled away from me and opened the Senkaimon. I think she fled because she could feel you were here. Want to see what she was so afraid of?" She asked me and I nodded. She took the object she was putting away into a device near a screen. Urahara came in a few minutes afterwards. I tightened my gown around myself and tried to fix my hair with my hands. I wouldn't apologise. But I did feel a bit guilty.

After a moment the video began. It started where she said good night to me and closed my door. It took about ten minutes for her to fall asleep. I recognised this place. This was the worst part of Hanging Dog. All three of us were transfixed of the footage. Even I had goose bumps and I jumped only a little when someone grabbed her wrist. I was starting to see why she was so spooked. Then I gasped. Hisana!

Tears filled my eyes as I watched the confrontation between her and Rukia. Yoruichi rubbed my back comfortingly and Urahara looked completely taken aback. Rukia was her daughter! She had killed herself in the world of the living and her barely born baby as well! How could she? I was touched by how much Rukia cared about my well being and absolutely torn apart about the revelations Hisana made. Even now, I felt my love for Hisana chip away, but it was still there. She was my best friend and my first love.

We all gasped in horror as the gates of hell opened up swallowing Hisana. I shook in fright as she almost pulled Rukia in with her. I don't know what was worse, watching the woman you loved be damned or nearly watching your sister, your friend being killed! When we heard Rukia talk about suicide we all shot bolt upright. Not long after she was panicking to wake up did her memory flash to when I woke up. I had seen enough. I flashed out of there home, even hearing their shouts behind me. I opened the Senkaimon to the Seireitei and flashed through. Where would she go? Would I find her in time? How could she believe that she was responsible for her sisters' sins? I did feel extremely hurt and used but I didn't blame Rukia, because it wasn't her fault! I cared about her because she was who she was, not because she is connected to Hisana, didn't she understand that?


	10. Chapter 10

RUKIA

I fled through the Senkaimon. I couldn't face them after what had happened. I felt absolutely filthy!

My zanpakuto shook in my hand and frosted over slightly. I felt guilty about what I was about to do. When I died, so would my zanpakuto. Until someone else is worthy of it again. If I ever was. The mere though stabbed through my heart. I had almost arrived on the outskirts of district eighty.

My breath came in shuddering gasps as I finally came to the clearing where Byakuya had shown me his animal form. It occurred to me that he might think of this place as well so I moved further, into the hollow territory.

The cries of the hollows sent chills down my spine but I kept moving forward until I was right in the middle of the hollows nest. I decided that preparing myself was pointless since I would die a horrific heath anyway. I released my spiritual pressure all around me to lure in any hungry hollows that were willing to take their chances. I knelt on the ground and hung my head over the hilt of my zanpakuto.

Hollows surrounded me, cautiously drawing closer and closer. I didn't move. I embraced the face that I was about to die. I thanked everyone who had helped me get where I am today from the bottom of my heart in my prayers. Eventually one hollow shot forward. I stared it in the eyes but I didn't try to defend myself. I dropped my sword when its mouth covered my neck. I closed my eyes and hoped it would be other soon. Then I felt the wind shoot past my shoulder. It hit the hollow square in the face and it killed it. Only it wasn't actually wind, but a blast of pink blades. I grit my teeth, I picked up my sword and ran in closer to the hollows but the petals followed me.

My eyes teared up in frustration. As soon as I saw another blast coming for a hollow in front of me I stepped in the way, hoping the blades would kill me as well, but before they could do more than tear a few places in my yukata it stopped and my eyes involuntarily landed on Byakuya whose eyes were widened in horror. I felt the hollow behind me approach quickly to take a bite out of me but before it could a bolt of lightning turned it to dust. I took advantage of the distraction and flash stepped even further into the hollows nest. And then I hid. I tried to conceal my spiritual press as best I could. It would lure any hollows, but if a hollow found me, I could die without Byakuya finding me.

I closed my eyes and tears rolled down my cheeks. Didn't he understand that this was my decision? Everyone I trusted was gone already and I only served as a painful reminder to him. If I died it would be alright. Though deep down I felt immensely guilty. I remembered how he broke apart when I left home for not even an hour. He would get over me though. He was at least that strong, and after watching my memories hopefully he will get over my sister. My mother, and find someone else to love, who will love him in return. If only for his sake, I wish I never met him. I wiped tears from my eyes with my sleeve and silently sniffed. I hid my face on my arms that hugged my knees to my chest.

"Rukia." He said and I gasped as I looked up. I stared at him and tears started forming in my eyes again.

"Please, go away." I said and sniffed into my sleeve. I trembled when he came closer to me and I clenched my toes, if only to draw into myself a little more. I was positively shaking when her knelt down next to me.

"Please leave me alone." I whispered and pressed my face down harder on top of my arms.

"Rukia, its alright. Its all in the past. I could have gone without knowing all of that, but knowing doesn't change our relationship with one another does it? Wouldn't you just be letting her win if you got yourself hurt?" He tried to reason with me. He wasn't wrong.

"Even still. I want to die." I said and clenched my fingers around my arms. He was silent for a while until he sat down and pulled me into his lap. He locked his legs over my feet and his arms around my knees.

"Then we will die together." He told me and I shivered violently. I tried to push him off me at first but his grip was too strong for me to remove his arms from around myself. I tried to pry his arms off of me but he held on tight.

"Let go of me. Now." I demanded. And twisted my neck to look him in the eyes.

"No. Not unless we are going how to talk this through." He said calmly.

"Can't you see that I don't want to be near you?! Let me go or else!" I demanded. And thrashed around in his arms trying to get free. I must have hurt him somewhere because he flinched, allowing me to free one of my legs and step out of the barrier he had created. I froze his legs to the ground and took off running. It wasn't long until he flashed in front of me blocking my path forward.

"Do you like watching me cry? Please just leave me alone! Forget I ever existed!" I yelled and froze his feet to the ground before running off again. All the adrenalin caught up with me and triggered my gag reflex. I fell to the ground coughing and heaving. I couldn't breathe properly because I had winded myself from running away.

A hand stoked my back soothing me. I froze the vomit on the ground so that he wouldn't see it, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and tried to shrug off his hands, however when I had recovered some he tightened his grip around my shoulders. I quickly froze his feet again and ripped away from him. I watched him cut the ice with his zanpakuto. His feet were bright red and cut in some places. I looked at his face to see he wasn't even angry with me, and that just made me feel worse. I drew my zanpakuto from its sheath and he widened his eyes. I let my energy run wild and released my bankai.

"I will die one way or another. You don't have to watch. Please just go away. You don't understand how I feel and you don't know how terrible and dirty I feel either. My life is my own, I can do what I like with it." I said and released my power in a rush that made a loud sickening crack through my arm. I grimaced.

"Rukia. Please. I will do anything you ask of me if you just stop this. I thought we were becoming friends? You can talk to me. Please? Give me a chance?" He begged when I shattered apart of my leg. He winced and flashed over to me trying to hold me together.

"You haven't done anything wrong. You will just be happier without me and any reminders of Hisana in your life. That's what I am doing for you. because I can't undo the hurt she caused you. I'm going to shatter myself because I care about your future happiness." I told him and completely shattered my left arm off of my body.

"No!" He cried and tried to catch it but by the time it hit the ground it had shattered into pieces.

"How dare you tell me you care for me! You are hurting me more than Hisana ever did! I will never forgive you if you leave me!" He yelled at me and my legs cracked and crumbled. I fell to the floor in a sickening crack. Then a fracture of my neck broke off and he was desperately trying to cover it with his hands.

"Please. Oh please." He said and bowed over me.

"Please go home now Byakuya. Once I release my spiritual pressure completely I will either shatter completely or bleed out until I die." I told him. "I don't want you to see my body torn to pieces." I said as an afterthought. He tried desperately to heal my neck for me.

"Please. If you do truly care about me, don't make me watch someone I love die in front of me again. My parents, my grandfather, my wife and now…please. I know you can heal yourself with your ice abilities, please stay with me?" He begged and pressed his forehead to mine. Frozen droplets fell from my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I can heal that much. Please leave. I don't watch you to watch me die." I said and he moved around trying to find pieces of my body and place them correctly as they should be, however my left arm and the bottom of my legs were completely turned to snow.

"Please try. Just try to heal yourself. Whatever you can't heal I will heal for you." He told me. My vision became cloudy.

"I don't understand. Didn't you see my memories? Don't you feel betrayed? Don't you hate me?" I asked him and tears cascaded down my temples.

"I could never hate you, I don't think I could live without you either so start healing." He reprimanded me. I snorted softly and closed my eyes. I formed a concentrated block of ice around all of the pieces of my body that shattered or broke off. I drew the ice particles with my essence I them towards my body and started sculpturing them back into place in my mind. I had to take a few breaks between healing but eventually all of my spiritual pressure was once again in one form.

My energy ran out and my bankai disappeared. I was waiting for the pain what I couldn't feel anything. No pain and nothing below my neck.

"Did I do it?" I asked him with barely opened eyes. He was looking over my body carefully. The feeling started returning to my body. He counted my fingers and toes to make sure everything was there. I snorted and twitched my foot in his grasp when he stroked the sole of my foot. He looked at me strangely before trying to rub it again and I pulled my leg out of his range and panted from the exertion.

"Its incredible rude to tickle a girl who can hardly move. Especially in a den full of hollows." I joked and his lips twitched.

"Is everything there?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yes, your healing ability is remarkable. Now since you can't move, I will carry you and please for the love of god stop freezing me!" He hissed out. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks as I stuttered out apologies.

"Are you angry with me?" I asked him and he frowned.

"I am upset for many reasons. I am angry with you for trying to leave me again. What you did by trying to get yourself killed was unforgiveable." He said and I shivered at the cold anger in his voice. I bowed my head down so that I wouldn't have to look at his angry eyes. I yawned into his shoulder since I was too tired to lift my sore arms.

"Doesn't seeing me hurt you?" I asked him and he sighed.

"No, not in the slightest. You are not her. And you are nothing like her." He told me.

"Can't we just find a safe spot to rest until we are both well enough to head home together I asked him and he stopped walking.

"I would have agreed if I believed any place here being remotely safe." He told me. I poked his cheek softly and he looked at me, it wasn't quiet a glare but he was irritated. And poking him was a bit much.

"I know safe places in Hanging Dog. How far are we?" I asked him and he hummed.

"Not more than ten minutes away I believe, though flash stepping does make it hard to tell distances accurately." He said contemplatively. We walked in companionable silence, or at least he did. Carrying me on must have been harder on him than he made it look. I cringed. And he looked at me.

"What's the matter?" He asked and I quickly looked down.

"Nothing." I said and tried to think light like a feather. He frowned at me.

"Tell me anyway." He asked and I looked up a little bit.

"Well. I know you are strong but, aren't I too heavy? And your feet have to be killing you." I told him and my cheeks flamed. He smiled kindly.

"You aren't heavy, but my feet are sore. I would rather deal with this slight discomfort than live in a world without you in it for even a second." He told me and I couldn't help but smile at him.

"You know, you look younger without the kenseikan." I told him and admired him for a moment before looking away.

"That it another reason why I wear them. I want to look older and more sophisticated. It I out rank and out class those around me, I should look good while doing it." He told me in a rare show of cockiness.

"We are in Hanging Dog now, where are the places you spoke of?" He asked me and I described a ghost village on the outskirts of the district that most people were afraid of because they thought it was haunted. It really was funny when you thought about it, after all we were souls ourselves and even when we die we are sent to limbo for a however long it takes for us to move on.

We entered a specific shack that I directed us towards, once Byakuya put me down I limped to a spot on the ground and stomped my foot down on it. The dirt shirted revealing a covered plank of wood.

"Wow, it really looks untouched from when Renji and I left it. We used you hide out in the secret basement of this shack when we were younger. It was safer because it was out of sight of the adults the would have hurt us, and over time people steered clear of this place because they thought it was haunted. I told him and he scoffed lightly as if the mere thought was absurd.

I carefully climbed down into it and looked around. Surprisingly it was dust free and everything seemed in the condition we left it. I walked over to the grubby straw bed and picked up one of the tiny rabbit shaped toys. Renji has gotten them for me from somewhere. After a few minutes Byakuya climbed down as well, cautiously taking in his surroundings.

"Rukia. We need to talk. Lets just get all of our troubles out, so that when we return home there will be no lingering bitterness between us." He suggested reasonable. I frowned at him. I'm not dead and since he is here, I am probably not going to die any time soon. I didn't even know how to start the topic.

"Alright then, you go first." I suggested and me sighed in defeat. If he didn't start I definitely wouldn't. I sat down and looked at my feet. I felt sick and filthy, being this close to him made me feel guilty and embarrassed. I never wanted to cause him trouble, I just wanted to die quickly and let all Hisana's sins be behind us. I sat quietly on an old crate and waited for him to start.

"I also had my invitation answered by a spirit this night." He said softly and my mind was fuzzy in confusion. Who did he see?

BYAKUYA

I sat across from her on a small round chair. I healed the scratches on my feet first and then proceeded to heal the blood vessels that had been injured. It was easy to say that we needed to talk but I didn't know what to talk about.

"Rukia, I had two of my spirit invitations answered this night. One from my grandfather and the other from Abarai." I told her and she gasped softly but refused to meet my eyes.

"I was transported to Hanging Dog for the venue of the dream. I thought that finally Hisana had answered my call. I searched high and low, through all of our meeting places, in the rice fiends and the brush. I thought that perhaps she was hiding from me as it was when we used to play games, long before I brought her into my house. Eventually I decided that I couldn't search everywhere by myself and I ran up the hill overlooking the district, and that was where I found him. I won't lie, I was incredibly hurt and incredible angry. I shouldn't have let myself believe that I would ever see her again." He said and gave her a moment to understand what I was saying. She covered her mouth with her hand in sorrow. I too felt foolish for chasing the non-existent ghost of the woman I loved, but obviously didn't love me. Rukia looked like she felt guilty for some reason.

"Still, Abarai accepted my call instead of yours because he believed that you were going to be okay. He said that you were a mess after the three friends on the hill died, and saying a sad goodbye after you already started recovering would only hurt you more. He wanted you to know that he loved you, and that you were his best friend." I told her and her eyes teared up a little bit. She was always such a spitfire that seeing her down like this just made her seem smaller and fragile.

"I guess he was right. Thank you for helping Renji move on. I hope with all my heart that he is surrounded by love in his never life. That he makes good friends, and that he lives out a full life." She said and sniffed softly. I moved forward a bit, I wanted to sit closer to her to try and comfort her, but I didn't know if she would allow me to. I decided to stay where I was. At least for now.

"Yes, me too. Fining a lieutenant of his calibre would be impossible. He was a good man and will never be forgotten." I told her, and her eyes shone with gratitude. I looked away and cleared my throat.

"Grandfather says he is proud of you. You should know that he is watching over us both. He…advised me, as per my request but he couldn't yet move on, he must still have something troubling him." I told her softly and she brightened up.

"Really? Your grandfather likes me?" She asked happily. I smiled at her. Other than myself, grandfather is the only person from the family who truly accepted Rukia.

"Yes, he is very pleased with you and said my decision was correct. He also helped me see that as long as I stand by my beliefs, they cannot be wrong. I will continue leading the family forward, I will listen to all advice offered, but my decisions will be my own. I will not fail if I do not stray." I told her sternly. Finally, I felt like I had a smoother path to walk with many of the obstacles in my path now serving as resources instead. I looked up at her and caught her eye.

"I won't be able to move forward to the best of my ability without you. Stay by my side." I told her gently. She looked saddened. It wasn't a request, but it wasn't entirely a demand either. She had to know that losing her would affect my ability to be decisive heavily.

"I'm telling you I went through hell during those dreams. First emotionally and mentally draining myself on my quest for Hisana, then a test my grandfather that sapped my strength. If sleep was always that exhausting who would ever need sleep?" I joked, but she didn't respond. I thought for a moment, how could I help her open up?

"Rukia. I did see your memory of the dream however, I believe I was too shunned and unstable to pay proper attention to it. I'm not a fool, I know what happened, but would you try to recount the dream for me? From the moment it began?" I asked her and she nodded. I noticed that she started shivering again.

"I can do that. If you want me to. It's just that I don't want you to hate me because of her. I wish none of us ever met, things would be better that way." She told me and I flinched at the implications. I decided to remain silent and wait for her to recount her dream. It true that I saw it but that doesn't mean that I understood her thoughts. How would her dying help me in any way?

"It was very strange. Terrifying. I don't remember ever seeing that place in my life but I had been there when I was an infant. It looked dark and dirty and I tried to walk around to see if I could find a way out of here as quickly as I could and, and I walked into something wet. I thought I just stood in a puddle of water, but when I looked down I saw bright red blood staining through my socks. I got such a fright I screamed and fled, aimlessly trying to find a way out but no matter how long I ran I couldn't find any exits. I stopped running for a while because I was feeling ill. I tried to remain my breath and walked forward. I heard something smash and I quickly hid in an ally. Now that I think of it, it probably wasn't the best course of action, I mean ally's lead to dead end more than half the time." She said thoughtfully but her frame shook. I realised that she was shaking in fear, not cold.

"I tried to walk back into the ally so that I could see if something appeared at the entrance when something grabbed my wrist scaring me half to death!" She said and covered her chest with a hand. I knew how she felt, Yoruichi and I also jumped when it came to that part. She seemed like she couldn't help talking now. At least she could get it all out.

"I knew who she was, or at least I thought I knew who she was. I was too frightened to run away. I didn't think she would hurt me but I just didn't feel safe with her and I didn't even have my zanpakuto for support. Then I heard a baby crying like in those horror movies! I told her my name and she looked upset, she asked if I had married you as well, or someone from the branch family. Would want to marry one of them? They are horrible!" She told me and my lips twitched into a smile.

"I told her that you found me for her, that you adopted me into your family as your sister. I don't know how you stood her touch because it sent shivers of terror down my spine! I knew, I just had a feeling that she hurt me, that I wasn't safe. I knew you would be terribly upset with me for acting as I did but my instinct and previous knowledge of her actions made me cold towards her from the start." She told me as she rubbed her arms as Hisana had done.

"I told her I already knew everything because you told me. I thought she might hurt me for a moment, but she was only bitter about you not keeping your word. She- "Rukia stopped talking and looked at me in fright, as if only noticing me for the first time even though she knew I was listening. I was preparing myself to either be frozen again or sent of a wild goose chase. But she was silent and she looked down.

"Don't worry. Tell me, its alright really." I asked her gently but she shook her head sadly.

"No, its not alright. I know how much you love her, I can't just tell you things that will hurt you! That's why I gave Kisuke my memories in the first place! I couldn't tell you any of these things! I don't want to be the one who hurts you!" She shouted at me and pulled her legs toward herself.

"I will only believe it if you tell it to me yourself. You won't hurt me, trust me. The truth will hurt me, but if I hear it from you it will hurt less. You need to tell someone what happened and if anyone should her it, it is me. Please Rukia, continue?" I asked her gently. She really didn't look like she wanted to continue but after a while of struggling she did.

"She lied to you, Byakuya. About everything regarding herself and me. She wasn't my sister or a peasant, though maybe she wished her story was true. She was my mother! And she murdered me!" She shouted and burst into tears. I got up quietly and sat next to her. I pulled her closer to me gently. I held her because that was the only thing I could do to try and comfort her.

"How could she? She didn't even give me a chance to live! She killed me just before I was going to be born! Her reasons were pathetic! She was so selfish! She may think that killing us saved us but if she really cared about me she should have protected me!" She cried and trembled from her tears. My heart ached. It ached that the person I loved, who I thought I knew had lied to me right from the start. It was easier for me to recover because, yes, I had been fooled and she had hurt me terribly but if I didn't know her at all then she and I may as well be strangers and I wouldn't let someone I didn't even know, hurt me in that way. What hurt me the most was Rukia's anguish. Right from the start, she wasn't meant to be in Hanging Dog, it was her mother that damned her to that terrible district.

"What gave her the right to kill me? And when we were sent here together she didn't even look after me properly! She could have killed me twice and even if she did regret losing me, I don't think she would have truly understood that she was responsible for getting me killed a second time! She didn't even feel remorse for hurting you and other innocent people! I'm the daughter of a person like that, no wonder the world was cruel to me and stole away so many of my loved ones. I'm being punished for her sins!" She wailed and angrily wiped away her tears, I hugged her tighter to me. Indeed, she had, had more misfortune than she deserved. And no one really deserves to have their lives ended, there was no way I could reassure her really.

"Rukia, I don't know how much pain you must be in now, but her sins aren't your own. Think of all the friends you have made over the years, and now you have a home and you are loved. You have come so far in your life, don't let meaningless information from the past hurt your future. As for the world stealing your loved ones, fate can be cruel but it doesn't intend harm on anyone. It simply is as it is." I told her to try and comfort her, but I must have said something wrong because she snapped her head up and glared at me.

"How can you say that? Her actions affected both of our lives and our futures! You found me for her and now you are stuck with me! And I have to live in the shadow of her sins! How can you not see her in me and hate me every time you look at me? How can I not feel shamed and filthy by everything she has put you through? Sure, she didn't care, but I do! I watched you suffer ever since we first met and we both suffered years! And now this makes it even worse! How can either of us live happily? It would have been best if you had just let me die!" She shouted at me.

"I don't see you as anything to do with her, and honestly you don't look that much like her really. I found you because of my promise to a woman who didn't deserve my devotion. But now you are here with me, you are mine, my sister and that has nothing to do with her. I decided that I never really knew her from the start. I was young and naïve. I don't regret finding you because I love you and I want to keep you with me, I'm not doing it for anyone other than myself! I am honestly glad I discovered this unfortunate truth. The pain is terrible but I have learnt from this and I no long need to mourn. I feel free." I told her and pulled her head into the crook of my neck.

"I am free of her Rukia. But I couldn't stand the thought of losing you because you are all I have." I told her honestly. She looked up at me before her eyes filled with tears and she hid it on my chest.

"Damnit. I don't want you to see me cry. But thank you. I feel the same way really. I never thought that we could be close like this. I lost my closest friends and I thought I would never be able to share my pain with another person ever again. I'm not sure if I should be shamed to be crying in front of you or relieved. I don't want people to know how sensitive I really am so I only cried when I was alone or with Renji or Ichigo." She told me and I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm glad. I would feel sad if you didn't trust me enough to cry in front of me without worrying how I might judge you. After all today was the second time I have cried in front of you. They say a man has three faces, the face he shows to his colleagues, the face he shows to his friends and the face he shows to his family. Only you will ever see me cry. And I will only allow myself to shed tears in your presence." I told her and stroked her cheek affectionately.

It was remarkable as she said. We became close friends quickly, and now we really seemed like a family. It was the first time I have a warm, comfortable family atmosphere in my life. I was quickly becoming addicted to this feeling. I loved being loved by another person, being genuinely cared for as a person.

We didn't finish talking about her dream, we both knew how it ended and both preferred to forget about it. It also scared me more than I ever thought it would. Rukia got up and jumped a few times, then she stretched and flexed her muscles.

"I think I am fully recovered now, do you want to stay here a bit longer or should we head home? I can't really sleep in the day but I guess I could check in at the office and do some work. We could both use an early night after everything, don't you think?" She asked me and smiled sweetly.

"Definitely." I fake yawned, making her laugh.

"We can head back now. I insist that you allow me to carry you home. My legs and feet are now fully recovered and I have far more energy than you do, you expended the majority of your own energy fixing you body." I told her before gesturing for her to head up first, she did and I followed. She closed the door and covered it up again, as t was when we found it. She looked at me and shrugged before grinning.

"Old habits die hard." She said and skipped towards me.

"So, how are we going to do this? And what if someone see's us? We are in only our nightwear and we were gone for the entire night. It will look suspicious if we were seen coming home at this time, especially together." She told me and I bit my lip. I felt heat flush my cheeks. She was right. And I couldn't think of an excuse just yet, unless…

"We will go straight to out rooms. If anyone see's us, and they shouldn't, we will tell them that we slept over in the world of the living." I told her with the most stoic face I could muster.

"Oh my god, that is so cute! You are blushing!" She squealed in delight. I bit my cheek in displeasure before I swung her over my shoulder and sped away.

This woman was something else, had she no inhibitions?!


	11. Chapter 11

RUKIA

I screeched and jolted up from my bed covered in perspiration. I had that dream again. Not even a week had past but each night I dreamt something terrible. That I was being pulled beneath the water by arm like chains and I watched the light of the surface disappear slowly until all that was left was darkness and an ache in my lungs, that I was hated and despised once more by Byakuya, that I had caused his death, that I had cause his exile by the clan, that I shattered to pieces in front of Byakuya, and tonight, that I was pulled into the pits of hell by my sister. I could almost feel the flames lick my skin! My door slid open and Byakuya walked to my side.

"I'm so sorry! I just had a really terrible dream again. I'm sorry for waking you up, please go back to sleep, I'm fine I promise." I told him as I sat up in my futon.

"I believe you, but you don't look fine. Tell me what the dream was about? Talking helps sometimes." He told me and seated himself beside my futon. I straighten my yukata and tightened it, it sometimes became indecently revealing when I had troubled sleep.

"I guess, but it was a stupid dream. Its just more terrifying because the dream with my sister wasn't really a dream was it? It was real." I told him and shivered violently.

"It was and was not a dream, while your unconscious mind could enter limbo to sent off a spirit and it would affect you in this world, it still isn't a dream entirely. If you would be cut in limbo the invisible injury would remain once you woke." He told me and my eyes widened. I slouched forward and trembled.

"If she pulled me into hell with her, I would really have been in hell? I felt it, the familiar heat of the hellfire. When we rescued Ichigo's sister we travelled to the very core of hell. What would have happened to me if she pulled me into hell and no one knew what happened?" I asked him and his eyes widened in terror. He shivered slightly before placing his hands on his laps and bowed his head.

"Rukia. Are you a woman of your word? If you make a promise, will you make sure that it is upheld?" He asked me silently. I thought about it.

"We don't know what will happen in the future but yes I would try my best to keep any promise I make." I said hesitantly. What brought this on? I thought he was going to try to comfort me?

"Promise me that you will never leave my side. You are not allowed to die before me. Do not go someplace where I can not follow. And never, ever try to end your life or give up living again." He asked me silently. He moved his hand over to mine and placed it on top on mine gently. I opened my mouth then closed it. I couldn't promise all of those things.

"I promise that I will not throw my life away." I told him softly and placed my other hand on top of his.

"I can't promise you that I will never leave your side or that I will not die before you, I can think of many ways an untimely death could befall me, and I can't promise that I won't go where you can't follow because I have blood on my hands. I know Kaien was possessed by a hollow when I killed him. But I never told another person that before he died be spoke to me. Kaien could have been saved but he chose you die by my hand. The hollow had said that his energy merged with Kaien's and that it was inseparable but after how much thinking I've done on what could have gone differently that night, I realised that I or captain Ukitake could have severed his soul sleep, forcefully expelling the hollow. I did kill the hollow, but I also murdered Kaien." I told him sadly. He looked frightened. After a while he calmed down and squeezed my hand.

"You cannot go to hell for that. I am sure of it. At the current time you didn't know how to save him. It is not your fault besides, I am fairy positive that Kurosaki was his reincarnation, he was even related to the Shiba clan. You freed Kaien's soul, you didn't murder him Rukia. Believe me." He told me and looked at me reassuringly.

"Before he passed on, Kaien thanked me. He said…that he was grateful to be able to leave his heart with me." I told him and his eyes widened slightly. And he gulped. It seemed he had something on his mind though. Running my words over in my mind I gasped and jumped slightly from my position.

"Wait! You don't think… We were only friends! Kaien was married, remember?" I told him and after a while he nodded.

"That doesn't mean he couldn't have fallen in love with you. I know he loved his wife, but love is often untrue in arranged marriages." He said and narrowed his eyes.

"It explains why Kurosaki seemed so obsessed with you as well. If I didn't know that they weren't the same person, I would have believed that they were one and the same, and in a way, they are as they share the same soul. That is a unique trait only inherited by the four great noble houses I believe." He said in contemplation. Arranged marriage? I knew I had once had a crush on Kaien, but I never suspected his feelings for me to be similar.

"In any case, you saved his soul and your soul is not stained in blood. Therefor you can promise not to go where I cannot follow, and I believe you can promise me to remain by my side as long as that is your intention as long as you are alive." He told me and retracted his hand.

"Alright then I promise to love and tease you for however long I live. By the way what did you mean by 'a unique trait only inherited by the four great noble houses'?" I asked him and he hummed slightly.

"And I thought you had done research on the Kuchiki's?" He teased me. And I pouted in embarrassment, I only read a little on the noble families I only intentionally read Ginrei's journals.

"You see, as you know, we are not truly human souls. The souls of the main families are pure and were created in this world, we can't be reborn in the world of the living as mortal souls can be unless their time has ended and they ascend to the heavens or are damned to hell. Our souls can't ascend to heaven either, we are bound to this plain only. We do reincarnate, only in our own family though, and not all of us are able to do that either. Only the family members with decent spiritual pressure. The rest are simply put to eternal rest. Its complicated, but by marriage a human soul may become apart of our reincarnation circle, essentially losing its humanity and taking on the divinity of the mate of its soul. However, some times marrying out of the four great families causes our souls to become humanlike and we are lost in the masses of human souls until we can move on. Hisana and I were not truly bound to each other as I had once hoped we would have been, but even if we were, her being sent to hell obliterated all of our ties." He said and I know he knew the truth but it was difficult to miss the sadness in his voice.

"Now you see why my marriage out of the families was so frowned upon. Not only was it supposed to be shame upon nobility, but I risked losing my existence after my life had ended, there was also a possibility that any children we could have had not being my reincarnated ancestors, and there by not only breaking tradition but also breaking a noble blood line. We wouldn't have had to worry over that if she had truly loved me her soul would have allowed my own to possess it, claiming her own as apart of mine and therefore my families and our children would have been pure blooded Kuchiki's. These are pointless thought however. Not worth dwelling on." He told me, but I could feel the pain and bitterness in his words. He had spent the rest of the day when we returned clearing out any of her possessions her had kept from sentiment and also clearing the family memorial of her picture.

"You know. You can talk to me if you need to. Even about Hisana. Its not worth keeping it inside and letting it hurt you. I know better than anyone how much you love…. loved her, I wouldn't judge you if you still did in some way." I said and played with a soft lock of hair that fell over his nose. He looked sad but smiled anyway. It wasn't fake, but it was filled with uncertainties.

"I hope you that I will hold you to your promise forever. Now you will never be free of me." He joked playfully but I could see that he was only trying to cover up his hurt.

"Hey who said I wanted to be. Just remember that if you want to be there for me you have to trust me to be there for you as well. Again, I'm really sorry for waking you up. From now on, just ignore me if I wake you up like that again. I feel terrible when you get out of bed to come and check on me." I told him and he stood up.

"You know I won't do that, and it's no trouble really. It wont last forever, but hopefully for both our sakes it ends sooner rather than later." He joked and I bid him goodnight. I would be on duty again by tomorrow. We both asked captain general Shunsui if we would be allowed to return to work because we didn't have much to do at home. He accepted on the condition that we leave early if we felt like we needed to be away for a while.

I closed my eyes and let sleep claim me.

RUKIA

Almost four weeks had passed and my night terrors had long since ceased. Every day at lunch Byakuya and I would return home briefly to enjoy a meal together and talk about how our day was going so far. We had also begun my training. I was surprisingly good and Shunko. When brother asked me why I wanted to bother learning Shunko I told him it was because when I use my shikai I often leave myself vulnerable to attacks from enemies and I can't protect myself in time, and it was even worse when using my bankai, however if I could safe guard my body and repel any enemy attacks I could still battle. He agreed that I needed better protection and trained with me as he had once trained under Yoruichi.

During our training I often wondered what he was like when he was younger. I heard that he was a playful, bratty boy who disrespected his elders and often had temper tantrums. It seemed so…not unlikely, I would say impossible. He seems as if he could be playful, but he was always calm and collected. Restrained. Disciplined. I couldn't picture him as people described him.

A boy ran up to us and Byakuya looked visibly irate. After all, no one from the Seireitei had authorisation to enter the Kuchiki compound without its master's knowledge and obviously he had not granted it.

"What is your name?" He asked the boy who gulped.

"My name is Ame, sir! Captain Kuchiki I am sorry to disturb you but I was sent to collect miss Captain Kuchiki immediately. The captain general has an important mission that he wants to debrief to her!

I straightened myself and walked over to the buckets of water and fresh cloths. I cleaned the perspiration off of my face, neck and arms before I picked up mu haori and put it on.

"Alright, where am I supposed to meet him?" I asked and he stuttered and babbled. I narrowed my eyes and he babbled even more incoherently.

"Be silent! Is he in his office?" I shouted at the foolish boy. He squeaked and nodded frantically. I rolled my eyes and noticed Byakuya's mouth twitching. He avoided smiling around others, he only allowed his guard to drop when we were alone. I smiled at him and flash stepped away to the captain general's office. I suspected that he would follow me shortly.

I knocked at the door and Nanao answered the door. We talked while she led me to the captain's office. When we walked in he almost dropped his bottle of sake and quickly tried to hide it from Nanao's sight, but she saw it alright. I could hear the gears in her head turning, contemplating his punishment for drinking on the job.

"Thank you so much my sweet little Nanao-chan!" He cooed and she threw the book she was holding straight at his face. It hit home and he was thrown back into his chair. The door slammed shut behind me and I had to resist laughing at the captain. I was glad that he seemed at least somewhat like his old self.

"Lady Captain Kuchiki. I have a mission for you if you will accept it." He offered, allowing me the opportunity to refuse his offer. I smiled and nodded.

"I would be happy to accept a new mission, captain." I said and bowed briefly.

"Well then, this mission is rather strange. It isn't serious and there should much if any danger. See a noble family is having a traditionally century celebration but the heirloom item has gone missing and the ceremony cannot be completed without it. I need you to go back to the day on the last ceremony and retrieve the object and bring it with you back to our time. There is a bag created by Kisuke Urahara that negates the consequences related to the object, a ghost object will continue to exist in the time between then and now present and merge with the object you bring back with you when you return. It shouldn't take more than a few hours, if it takes longer I will send someone after you. Do you still accept the mission? You must be careful not to be seen by anyone other than the people I tell you to. And even still, you may not tell them anything about our past or present." He finished explaining.

"Yes, sir I understand and I accept the mission. Who is it that I am to speak to in that time?" I asked him and he looked over a note before enveloping it and sealing it with a magic seal.

"Give this letter to captain Yamamote, if I am correct a meeting will be taking place at the time when you are sent into the past. This seal is special, it will give you the permission you need to complete the mission. I wouldn't let you interact with anyone at all if it could be helped but I need to give you the exact coordinates of our time so that when you are sent back you return the same number of hours as when you were away, you see we can send you there but they need to send you back to us. If you are sure then I will accompany you back to you home. And then you may leave." He told me and I nodded. At least I was going home. Byakuya would be furious with me for leaving without telling him.

We arrived at the compound and Byakuya came to greet us. Captain Shunsui explained the mission to Byakuya. Byakuya's eyes never left me, burning me like coals. I could feel the accusation in them.

"Captain General, we have been through this, you have no authority to give out a mission suck as this to someone of my house without consulting with me first and only then if I have given my permission. It is also improper to use my family's treasures for selfish nobles' whims, I reject your request, I will take responsibility for the uproar the noble family may cause." He said and bowed lightly in dismissal. He was the only person in the entire Seireitei who would speak to the captain general that way.

"Brother, I chose to accept the mission, I could have refused, but I want to take it, please?" I asked politely and he sighed.

"No. it is too dangerous. What if something happens to disrupt time? It is not safe. I am not being unreasonable. Besides that, isn't the only reason why I declined. He knows why I rejected his request. I have every right to deny such a tool from being used, it has been with the Kuchiki's since the beginning of our line. This request is beyond the Seireitei's power to fulfil." He said and glared at captain Shunsui who lowered hit straw hat an inch. This was…confusing.

"I do know that but the reason why I hoped that you would agree to it is because the noble family is the family of Ukitake. It would be a personal favour to me as well. I know it is selfish but 'it' wouldn't exist if it were never to be used. I think Juushiro would greatly appreciate it." Captain general Shunsui finished saying and my eyes widened. I knew that this wasn't something easy for Byakuya to do and he probably shouldn't but his glare lessened slightly before his eyes flickered to me.

"I will allow this only once, but unless the world is about to end you must give me your word that you will never ask me to do this again, I will also have you dispose of the records held by the new Central Forty-Six of its existence as well as any other information they may have on my family. They should know better than to stick their noses in affairs that are greater than they are, they are luck I don't have their heads!" Byakuya barked harshly with a rare vicious gleam in his eyes. Captain general Shunsui bowed until he reached his waist.

"I will never ask anything this important of you again, and I will remove all traces of your family's person affairs. Thank you." He said and stood upright.

"One more thing. I forebay Rukia from leaving. Let someone else go. Asking a Kuchiki to do such a dangerous task is unseemly. I will wait here." Said Byakuya before he moved to turn away.

"Its because she is a Kuchiki that I asked her, she was also Juushiro's subordinate. You know how she needs to return home. You can't go but it would be better if a Kuchiki went." He said and waited for Byakuya's reply. Brothers became stiff and he was silent.

"Will she be in danger on this mission?" He asked carefully.

"I believe not, and on the slim chance that there is trouble she is skilled enough to take care of herself." He said and nodded towards me in respect. I smiled and walked up to Byakuya.

"Well then, lets get this over with!" I said cheerfully and brother looked like he regretted agreeing even more. He led me to the doors of the Kuchiki stronghold. No one was allowed in here because heirlooms and priceless artefacts were kept here and the room was only able to be unsealed by the head of the family, its guardian and protector. Byakuya seemed very troubled. I reached out and held his hand. He stilled for and instant before walking to a large mirror that's surface was covered in a strange black cloth. He told me to wait while he retrieved something. It wasn't a minute later that he reappeared and wrapped the heirloom scarf around my neck.

"It will protect you. This is a very delicate topic and I may not tell you of anything in this room, nor may you ever tell anyone of its existence. I am going to get the gate ready for you. when I remove the cloth, you must enter and immediately go to the captain meeting hall. I don't know what the captain general told you, but you will meet my grandfather and he will send you back home to me. Please be safe and if something goes wrong and you are trapped in that world, you must stay with the family." He told me gently. I nodded softly.

Byakuya was turning the rings around the mirrors frame eventually he stopped and looked at me. He pulled the cover off of the mirror and quickly stepped away from it. I jumped to him and hugged him before quickly running through the mirror. I knew he was worried and so was I, seeing Byakuya Kuchiki worried was never reassuring.

I looked around me. The mirror was gone. I was in the area behind the captains meeting hall. I had to hurry before anyone else saw me, the only problem was that I don't know if they will take my intrusion kindly.

BYAKUYA

She was set to be gone for only four hours but somehow it felt like years had already passed. I could have destroyed the information Central Forty-Six had on my clan myself, but I would obviously be the number one suspect. As long as captain Shunsui destroys all linked information, my family's secrets should be safe. It wasn't really necessary to send Rukia, but she would have felt slighted by me if I had refused to let her go.

Truthfully sending her could be the worst idea possible. Grandfather wouldn't take kindly to the clans' laws being broken. He went above and beyond to maintain the family's good name. if he was displeased with Rukia he could kill her and send someone else back with the item.

Hopefully she stays out of people's way and keeps her mouth shut about event not yet unfolded. After all, Hisana was already a resident of my household at that time and she could try to prevent me from marrying Hisana later in life. I hope she doesn't let her feelings get in the way of her mission.

RUKIA

I flash stepped to the doors of the meeting hall. I could hear the voices discussing a topic inside and I thought about simply flashing inside and presenting the letter, but it would be considered poor manners and even though Byakuya wasn't here I knew I couldn't shame his family in that way so I held my breath and knocked loudly at the door. I waited a moment until the door was opened to me and who I saw made me gasp in shock.

"Captain Ukitake!?" I said in surprise. It had been almost nine months now that he had become the new spirit king. That is how long it has been since he was declared dead by the Soul Society. I was unbelievably happy to see him, but he didn't look too thrilled to see me.

"Who are you? May I help you?" He asked me politely and gave me his calming, sincere smile. I couldn't help but smile shyly back at him.

"I am terribly sorry to intrude on this meeting but I have a message I must personally deliver to the captain general." I said and showed him the stamp on the envelope. His eyes widened in shock and surprise. After all it was the special first captain seal. He nodded and let me in. for a brief moment I froze in panic. Aizen! I hadn't even thought that he would be here!

I quickly walked straight forward, ignoring the curious looks of the other captains and gasps at seeing my haori with the mark of thirteenth captain on it. We all knew what this meant. I bowed and presented the letter to captain Yamamoto. What caught my eye as I bowed was a beautiful material. The exact same as the scarf around my neck. I looked to the wearer in curiosity. His eyes were glued to me.

"You may rise your head my child. Captains of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads, this soul reaper is her on a mission from the future. She will not be with us long, but make sure to keep attention away from her at all costs. We will continue this meeting in five hours' time precisely. You are all dismissed, captain Kuchiki you will remain behind." He said and everyone bowed and left. I felt the heat envelop my cheeks as Byakuya's grandfather stepped forward beside me. I looked at his to see his looking me in the eye, I quickly fumbled around for words for a formal greeting but all I ended up saying was"

"Hi."

He looked at me in amusement and I lowered my eyes to the floor waiting for the captain general to explain the situation but instead he looked at me and told me to explain my mission. I gulped and looked up to meet Captain Kuchiki's eyes.

"Ah, well you see I have been sent on a mission from about one hundred years in the future. The Ukitake clan is holding their traditions century ceremony but they have lost their heirloom and cannot complete it without it. I was sent back to retrieve it after the ceremony has been completed in a few hours' time and as soon as my task is completed I am to be sent forward in time to the exact date and time allocated on the letter." I explained trying not to give out too much information.

"Only one hundred years in the future? Tell me girl, who are you, who sent you here and how, and more importantly why are you wearing the heirloom of the head of the Kuchiki family." Asked Ginrei. My cheeks must have been positively red I from embarrassment. The captain general dismissed us and left us alone to speak with one another. I nervously wrung the long sleeves of my haori in my hands and fought the overwhelming urge to lower my eyes in his presence.

"My name is Rukia Kuchiki, captain of the thirteenth division and adoptive sister to Byakuya Kuchiki." I said and his eyes widened slightly. He seemed to be just as good as Byakuya at masking his facial features.

"The mission was given to me by captain general Shunsui Kyoraku, and brother sent me through the mirrorlike object. Also, I know it must seem like an impertinence to you, but Byakuya entrusted his scarf to me because he wants me to share his responsibilities with him, also to show everyone that even though I am not his biological sister that I am still his family. I wore this scarf her because he told me it would protect me…somehow." I said and gulped. He didn't betray a since one of his feelings.

"You call my grandson without any honorifics do you disrespect him or are you very close?" He asked me cautiously.

"We are close. Byakuya is currently training me personally in Shunko taught to him by Yoruichi." I told him and something passed through his eyes before hummed and continued to state at me. I felt as if I was shrinking by the second under his gaze.

"Have I displeased you…captain Kuchiki?" I asked gently trying to find a way out of this awkward situation.

"Did I say that or even suggest that? And if you are Byakuya's sister that means that you are to call me grandfather respectfully." He said and I felt like I was radiating happiness from his acceptance of me.

"Thank you, grandfather, I with the elders and the rest of the family were as accepting as you!" I said and again he looked slightly shocked.

"I actually wasn't told where the ceremony was taking place so I am not sure where I am supposed to go. Is Byakuya here somewhere?" I asked and grandfather looked at me curiously for a moment.

"Come with me now. We are heading to the compound. You are to stay out of sight to avoid drawing attention to yourself, the best way to do that would be to stay at the family house. You may not speak with Byakuya at this time, I am sure you must understand why." He told me and I nodded silently behind him. He led me to the compound and through to a study-like room.

"You may wait here until I come to collect you. I will send one of my officers to collect the item you seek and he shall bring it back for you, then I shall send you home." He told me and seated himself behind his desk.

"I know it is unwise to speak of event from the future, but tell me in your own opinion, is my grandson doing well in life?" He asked me and gestured for me to take a seat. I did, and he called a maid outside of the door to bring us a pot of tea. I couldn't help but smile fondly at the thought of everything Byakuya had achieved in such a short amount of time.

"Yes, Byakuya is the most promising head of the family the clan has had for many generations! He also became the youngest captain of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads! He is well loved and admired by many in the Seireitei and his subordinates all strive to be like him. He has one of the most powerful bankai in the entire Soul Society and his genius is almost unrivalled! He is also a master of Kido, Shunpo and Shunko! We also just ended a war, and you would have been proud to see him fight!" I told him excitedly but quickly masked my feelings when the maid brought in our tea. When she left I rose to serve grandfather his tea before pouring my own.

"That makes an old man happy to hear. What of you, you must have come far as well seeing as you are the captain of the thirteenth division in your time." He asked me candidly. I nodded and stood to unclasp my zanpakuto from my obi. I held it out to his and he looked at it eagerly.

"Grandfather, my zanpakuto is called Sode no Shirayuki, the snow and ice type zanpakuto." I told him. He nodded in approval.

"Yes, 'the most beautiful blade in all of the soul society'. I am blessed to see it with my own eyes. I have lived long, too long, but I have never seen this blade before today. Will you honour me by showing me your shikai?" He asked me kindly. I smiled and walked to the open space in the room before drawing my sword and swinging my zanpakuto around me gracefully.

"Dance, Sode no Shirayuki." I said and my blade became white as snow and its hilt changed to resemble that of a half-moon snowflake.

"Very beautiful, it suits you well my dear." He said and rose from his seat after finishing his tea.

"Sadly, I must leave you now to return to my duties, if you have need of something please ask the maid outside to bring it here for you. The books on the shelf are quite interesting, I am sure you will be well amused." He said and left the room, closing the door silently behind himself. I sheathed my blade and sat along the cushions beside the window frame. I decided to rest, and began closing my eyes until sounds from outside of the window caught my attention.

A boy not older that sixteen in appearance was practicing his swordsman ship. I was enthralled, but even more surprised when he turned around to practice piecing. It was Byakuya! He looked so young! I took my phone out of my obi and tried to zoom in on him. I felt like a stalker talking his photos behind his back like this, but when will I ever get the opportunity to see him like this again?

I zoomed closer to get a better picture of his young, slightly chubby cheeked face. Just as I captured the picture he looked in my direction. I didn't think he saw me because his expression didn't change but in an instant, he was gone. And then I heard voices at the door.

'Let me inside, someone is inside there!' Said Byakuya, but the maid politely told him that I was his grandfathers' guest and that he was not permitted to enter his office. My heart beat like a drum in my chest, but eventually I heard footsteps walk away. I clutched my chest in relief and leaned my head on the window, closing my eyes. I opened them when I felt something hit the window. I opened my eyes and lifted my head to come face to face with Byakuya through the window. I gasped and leaned back quickly, falling off of my perch on the windowsill. He burst out laughing from outside. He was using Shunpo to walk up the air to the level of the window. His laughter died when I covered my face with my hands and pretended to cry.

"Hey im sorry!" He said and knocked on the window softly. I let him apologise for a few minutes before I dropped my hands and fell to the floor laughing at him.

"Why you!" He shouted and pulled out his fist to shake it towards me. I stopped laughing only enough to pull out my tongue at him. He gasped and disappeared. I quickly flashed to the door and locked it from the inside moments before the handle started rattling. I heard the servant panicking asking him to calm down. 'Please young master!' I heard her say and I burst out laughing again. It was so fun to tease him! And I better enjoy it now because he would definitely punish me when I got home. I knew my hiding place was compromised so as soon as I heard him walking away I unlocked the door and tried to sneak out but the maid told me to go back inside since it was safer. Byakuya heard her and quickly flash stepped in front of me.

"You!" He growled and I squeaked. I ducked past the maid and fled past his using my flash step. I was grateful that he wasn't nearly as fast as he was in our time. I quickly found grandfathers spiritual pressure in the gardens I flashed there as quickly as I could so that I might be able to hide behind him.

"Grandfather!" I exclaimed as I stopped panting in front of him. I gave him such a fright that he snorted out his mouthful of tea! I squeaked and moved to avoid it when I heard Byakuya from behind me.

"I found you! Stop running from me!" He called out and panted. I was about to start running around when he tripped, rolled off of the roof and into the pond. I gasped and was just about to run forward to see if he was alright when he emerged and spluttered out pond water. I couldn't help myself, I burst out laughing!

"Eww!" I sang out and covered my nose with my fingers when he climbed out of the pond.

"How dare you! This is your fault!" He growled out and flashed in front of me. I quickly flashed behind grandfather.

"I'm sorry grandfather he found me." I whispered into his ear and he sighed.

"Byakuya, go and clean yourself up and have a good long bath too." He said and Byakuya complained. He was so…different! I couldn't help but smile at him. His reaction was priceless! He sputtered and blushed and then fled. Grandfather scoffed and looked up at me.

"I specifically told you to stay away from Byakuya. We will be fortunate if this doesn't change any events in the future." He told me grumpily.

"I'm sorry. I was resting on the windowsill in your office when he caught sight of me. The maids made him leave, but he went back to the window to get a better look at me. He is so different now than in my time. He is usually calm and collected with the patience of a statue!" I said causing grandfather to spit out another mouthful of tea.

"Byakuya?!" He asked me in wonder and I nodded my head.

"Yes, I was told by captain Shunsui and captain Ukitake what he was like when he was younger but it was impossible to believe! He really did change other the years, only now he is beginning to have some fun in life again. He event went shopping with me in the world of the living a number of times. He has very good taste in clothing." I concluded thoughtfully. Grandfather sighed tiredly.

"You will receive the relic in about an hours' time. Now that you have been seen, there is not point in hiding you- "He was saying before I shook my head.

"I can't let the woman named Hisana see me at any and all costs." I told him and he stroked his moustache thoughtfully.

"The servants are not permitted to enter my private gardens as I care for them by myself. You may stay here if you wish, or return to my study." He said before rising. I looked over to the pond.

"I wonder how our fish is keeping." I said softly.

"Hmm, what was that? What fish?" He asked me, standing by the door to his room.

"Oh, brother and I went to the Obon festival about a month ago, we found a rare blue spotted koi!" I said excitedly. Grandfathers face displayed his shock, even his mouth was slightly ajar.

"I call it 'our' fish because apart from the koi the family has tended for generations, it is the first and only addition that we had added. I caught it by the way!" I said proudly and grinned ear to ear. He smiled warmly at me.

"Is that so? Well I am proud of you for adding such an addition to our family's proud pond." He said and quietly entered his room and slid the door closed behind himself.

I walked towards the sakura tree and took a seat between the thick roots at the base of its trunk. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of fresh air. Soothing songs entered my mind and I hummed along to them with my eyes closed. I was pleasantly dozy. It felt like a dream to be accepted by another member of Byakuya's family. A sudden feeling of hurt burst out in my chest and a few tears escaped my eyes.

"Pretty girls shouldn't cry you know." Came a voice from beside me. I gasped and opened my eyes in panic. Sitting quietly next to me was Byakuya. I quickly wiped my tears away and looked away from him.

"Shouldn't you be training?" I asked him quietly. And he scoffed.

"How am I supposed to leave a guest of my families when she is crying?" He asked me. I decided not to respond to him if I could help it. He didn't seem to accept my silence however.

"So, what is your name, cry-baby?" He asked me and I snapped my head over towards him and glared at him.

"Go away Bya-bo." I said and smirked when his cheeks reddened in anger, but he got up and walked away from me, only to stop a short distance away and begin his training again in earnest. I was determined not to watch him so I kept my eyes closed and tried to relax but eventually his grunting exertion finally irritated me enough for me to get up and leave. I ran and jumped onto the roof and flashed back to grandfathers' study. I closed the door and resumed my perch at the window. I had just gotten comfortable when Byakuya opened the door and walked in, closing it behind himself.

"Why did you leave?" He asked me grumpily.

"I wanted to rest, and while I enjoy your company I would prefer not to hear you grunting like that." I said and heat crawled up my neck. He started and narrowed his eyes at me.

"You know its rude not to tell someone your name when you know theirs, especially when you are in their home." He told me and my cheeks blushed in shame. But I couldn't tell him, could I?

"My name is Shirayuki." I told him and turned away from him, back to the window.

"Why do you keep turning your face away from me? Am I not pleasant to look at?" He asked me jestingly. My lips quirked up.

"Well, now that you bring it up…" I trailed off and he growled.

"I try to be polite to you and you insult me!" He bit out through clenched teeth.

"Maybe I wouldn't if you smiled more." I told him carelessly. He was silent and walked towards me and sat at the other corner of the window.

"I could say the same about you. Why were you crying?" He asked me and I bit my lip.

"I guess I just miss my brother." I told him and shrugged. He continued watching me carefully and we sat in silence until the door opened and we both turned to face the intruder.

"Grandfather! Is Shirayuki staying for dinner?" He asked grandfather who snorted in amusement. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and I shrugged innocently. No, I am afraid our guest has to depart now, why don't you say goodbye? Shirayuki, I will be waiting for you." He told me and I nodded. I waited a while, giving grandfather time to reach the room of family secrets before I would say goodbye.

"See you later baka Byakuya." I said and stole the red string he used to tie up his hair with. His eyes widened and I flashed away, making sure to hide my spiritual pressure. I hid the hair string in the pouch Kisuke had made and met grand father outside of the room. He removed the seal and we me walked inside. He started moving the mirrors frame as Byakuya did in silence before speaking.

"I watched the two of you for a while from afar. I'm glad Byakuya will have someone who cares for him after I am gone. I fear my spirit will never be able to rest peacefully out of worry for his future. It is my fault that so much weights down on his shoulders, it saddens me to know that his childhood had been sacrificed, sadly that is the sacrifice required of him. You must know How important the family is to the Soul Society, and that is why we cannot take duty lightly. It was a pleasure meeting you, Rukia Kuchiki. Please look after him." He asked me solemnly before handing me the glass orb that I put into my pouch.

"I will, thank you for accepting me grandfather." I said and bowed. I hugged him quickly before running through the mirror. I looked around myself. I was where I was outside of the captains meeting hall where I had appeared in the past. I quickly pocketed the hair string and flash stepped to the captains meeting hall where they all should be. When I arrived I hesitantly opened the door, for a moment a feared that I could have been sent to the wrong time but after a brief look at the faces that turned towards me I sighed in relief. I walked towards the captain general and gave him the object he needed. He thanked me and I took my place next to captain Zaraki.

Byakuya looked at me to see if I was alright and I smiled cheekily at him. He didn't seem to remember anything at all. I pulled out his hair string and held it out in front of myself. After a moment his eyes widened and he gaped at me.

"It was you!" He snapped and I laughed merrily and flashed him a smile. It didn't have the same affect as if did when he was younger, but recognition passed through his features and he lunged for the string. I quickly jumped out of his way. We continued to play cat and mouse until the captain general burst out laughing. We returned to out positions and I used his hair string to tie up my hair in front of him, challenging him to take it. He narrowed his eyes but stayed standing as he was. The other captain looked like they had seen something absolutely absurd and unbelievable. Once the meeting was over I flashed out of the meeting hall as quickly as I could. He was faster than me now and I wanted to put some distance between us before he caught me.

I barely made it home when he appeared in front of me. I shrieked and held up my hands in surrender.

"I love you, don't hurt me?" I tried and he smirked evilly. Before he could catch me I quickly flashed to my office in my division and locked the door.

"Rukia, let me in." He asked deservingly calm.

"How stupid do you think I am? If I let you in you are going to do something. By the way do you remember me now? You know from back then? How didn't you remember me before now?" I asked him, trying to buy myself time.

"We can talk inside your office, let me in. Your subordinates are wetting themselves out here." He said and I gasped and jumped up. He must have terrified them!

"Wait, first tell me if you are angry with me or not?" I asked him carefully with my hand on the lock.

"I am not angry, I merely want to know if you are alright." He said and I smiled. Not a second passed from when I unlocked the door did he swing it opened and lock it behind himself. I flashed to my desk and took a seat carefully, not taking my eyes off of him for an instant.

He walked around the desk, came up to me and hugged me. I snuggled my face into his neck. At least he wasn't angry.

"I never remembered before because it was probably a repressed memory, but I do remember you. You tease!" He grumbled and released me, he also stole back his hair string. I got up and followed him to the door.

"Well, I will see you later at home. I have some paper work to do so that I can be free tomorrow." I told him and he turned towards me.

"You are taking a day off tomorrow?" he asked me in confusion.

"Yes, don't you remember? We were going to go to the Summer festival in the world of the living. If you don't want to go though its alright." I told him and he clucked his tongue.

"I will clear my day as well then." He told me and as soon as he stepped out of my office I slapped his behind and locked the door behind him. I could almost feel his indignation. I peek through the blinds at his shocked face. I burst out laughing.

He was too much of a prude to do anything daring back to me. I sat at my desk and did as much paper work as I could but as soon as I started thinking strange thoughts like, 'we all ways do all this paper work, its been this way for hundreds of thousands of years…what happened to it all? Where does it go?'. I knew it was time to go home. Over the weeks that had passed since I gave Byakuya a cell phone he has learnt how to use it with some of my help. Texting was something we actually enjoyed.

I told him by text that I would be missing dinner. When I finally got home I went straight for my night clothes and hopped under the covers. Once I was warm I quickly fell asleep. I liked my relationship with Byakuya how it was now and I never wanted it to change.

I just wished he would be happy.


	12. Chapter 12

BYAKUYA

I didn't know what to think of Rukia's sudden playful nature. But that wasn't really what was bothering me. Yesterday I lost my composure in front of the other captains. I liked being open with Rukia but we didn't have any boundaries. We shouldn't interact informally in public. But I couldn't help how we acted around each other now. I feared that I would lose my reputation and respect if I kept letting her influence me. But the possibility of chasing her away was even worse. Besides, what's wrong with being happy?

She didn't come home last night. I lay awake until I heard her come home. I couldn't sleep thinking that she was working herself too hard. Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to the festival in the world of the living. Humans acted differently to us, especially these modern ones. I didn't like being around people and none of the things I heard about sounded pleasant at all.

But the world of the living was special to Rukia for some reason, so I had to try to understand it for her sake. She always talks about things she learnt about but none of it sounded like anything important. I only listened to her because she is important.

I dressed my gigai casually. I felt uncomfortable showing so much of my skin and even my underwear, but it was their strange fashion. And Rukia seemed to like it so I would try to. I admit that I enjoy the clothes she wears, what troubles me is that she lacks self-awareness. Many people, especially male humans look at her in a way that can only be interpreted as lust. And I felt insecure in that world enough as it is, the last thing I wanted was to get into a brawl with horny teenage boys.

I disliked sneaker shoes. No shoes we worse in this world covered your feet completely and tightly like this. I felt like my feet were suffocating! And my loose black pants called 'jeans' hung under the line of my boxers, even with a belt on. I tried to leave a few buttons open at the bottom and top of my shirt and I wore a golden necklace and a few rings. I took my leather jacket under my arm and sighed before I opened my door to head for the dining room. This day didn't seem like it was going to be all that wonderful.

RUKIA

Byakuya seemed down this morning. Depressed. I felt guilty like we were going for my sake and not to have fun together. I didn't want the day to end with us fighting. We didn't fight often anymore but when it happened we both really hurt each other.

"Are you alright? You don't seem too happy, we don't have to go if you don't want to. Maybe we could go and watch a play at the opera house instead? You might like human dramas." I offered. He smiled but I could tell it was faked.

"I'm fine. I just don't know what to expect. I am willing to try it because I want to understand why you like them so much." He told me. And I understood that, I did. But it didn't mean he was really open to the idea. Perhaps I should pretend to be sick so that he can get out of it without straining himself?

"Well, I will try to help you enjoy yourself to the best of my ability. And whether you enjoy it or not I have a surprise for you that you will like. Hopefully." I said and looked away at his curious gaze.

"Alright, you have peaked my interest. Are you ready to go? Usually you dress more revealingly." He said to me and my ears burned in shame.

"Yes, but it doesn't make you feel comfortable around me so I decided to wear something fashionable that covered everything." I told him and he looked surprised. I wore long black skinny jeans and think knee high boots and a light-yellow long-sleeved fleece shirt. I also wore a dark blue scarf and decided to keep my hair down.

"I am always comfortable with you Rukia. I just don't like the way people look at you sometimes. And you are oblivious to your appeal on the opposite sex!" He said exasperatedly. I rolled my eyes and frowned.

"Well now I am not dressed to attract so we shouldn't have that problem if it did exist. And I am ready. Though I actually have another surprise for you for before we head to the festival." I told him and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

I walked outside and opened the Senkaimon. He joined me and we walked straight into the Odaiba massage parlour. I walked up to the receptionist to get our appointment confirmed. And gestured for Byakuya to join me.

"Here is the program you have purchased. Would you like to share a room or have separate rooms? Would you prefer a male or female assistant? Do you prefer salts or creams? Are you allergic to scented water?" Asked the receptionist ticking off the list she needed to prepare for us. I looked to Byakuya.

"It is a hot spring and massage parlour. You always look so exhausted after work, I thought you needed something to relax you. So, do you want a woman or a man to massage you and do you want us to be done in the same room or separate rooms? Also, the hot spring, what scent do you want in the water?" I asked him. He looked a little overwhelmed. And not as happy as I thought he would be. After much frowning and consideration, he answered the receptionist.

"I would like to share a room. And I think a female assistant would be best. I would prefer a sake bath or perhaps sakura fragrance?" He asked and the woman nodded and clicked away.

"And for you miss?" She asked me and I smiled.

"Oh, I would like the same as him only I would prefer a guy to massage me." I said and before the words out my mouth Byakuya interrupted me.

"No. I don't want a man touching you." He said making the heat rise to my face.

"Relax! Its just a massage, and besides we will be in the same room so he can't do anything to me. He is probably gay anyway, its yourself you should be worried about. I mean you do look good naked after all." I told him and grinned as he glared daggers at me.

"Alright then, you can just go through to that room there, there is a changing room on either side for each of you. when you are done lay on your stomach on the massage bed, your assistants will be with you shortly." She told us and we nodded and headed for the room.

I changed out of my clothes and folded them neatly. I wrapped the towel around my self and opened the door. I couldn't move. Laying on a bed resting his head on his arms was my almost completely naked brother. Then it occurred to me that my towel would only cover my nether regions. So, this is what was meant by full body massage.

"Hey, ah, keep your eyes closed until I say so okay?" I asked him and he grunted in response. I wrapped the towel around my hips tightly and lay flat on the bed. I also stretched my arms out in front of me and rested my head on them.

"Okay I should be covered enough." I told him and he turned his head towards me only to gape at me. I tried to tell myself that I would only look at his face, but my eyes did stray curiously now and then.

A well-muscled shirtless guy came to my side of the bed making me giddy. Byakuya looked murderous! What did he think the guy was going to do to me? I mean a massage was a treatment for heavens sake! And he took no notice of the beautiful big boobied brunette who introduced herself to him as his assistant.

"Alright, place your faces in the cushioned basin. It's really quite comfortable. Laying your head on your arms is only going to stress your neck and shoulder muscles uncomfortably while we massage you." Said my assistant.

"Are you gay?" Asked brother narrowing his eyes at the man behind me. The man scratched the back of his head.

"You are a good-looking dude that's for sure, I would bang you but I'm only into lovely ladies. You however can call me any time sweetheart, day or night." He said and I burst out laughing. Not only at the implications to Byakuya being gay but and his cheesy pick up line. Once I calmed down enough I cleared my throat.

"Charming. Has that line ever worked? And my brother is not gay, he was just worried that you may not handle me properly." I told him and positioned myself as I was told to be. Byakuya never took his eyes off of the man massaging me but I didn't care because this man knew what he was doing! I moaned as he rubbed out a particularly strong knot in my lower back. When we were don't Byakuya couldn't look me in the eye.

"I'm sorry. I know how much you enjoyed it when I massaged you so I thought you would enjoy having a massage from a professional. I guess not. I hope you will like the hot spring though." I told him sadly and he looked torn.

"I didn't mind the massage but I don't like strange people touching me. I only liked it before because it was you who gave it to me. It wasn't terrible but I honestly feel worse now and my neck is stiff." He told me and rubbed his neck.

"I didn't like watching some unprofessional stranger touching your naked body. if you want a massage in the future, you may ask me. Or if you would prefer I could get a trusted practitioner to do it for you." He offered.

I knew he was still new to opening himself up so I took his rejection with a pinch of salt. Next was the bath. At least we could both relax. That is what I thought anyway until I saw him already in the spring. My spring. The water was a strong amber colour and it was filled with cherry blossoms on the surface. We wouldn't actually see each other naked but that wasn't the problem. It was the knowledge that we were naked, together in a sake bath. The frown never left Byakuya's face. My mood was dampened entirely.

"Is your neck really sore?" I asked him and he opened his eyes.

"Yes, but I can manage." He said softly and leaned back further. I slowly and hesitantly approached him.

"Uh could you move forward a little?" I asked him when I was almost directly in front of him." His eyes shot open in panic.

"Why?" He asked. He just had to ask the worst questions sometimes.

"Just trust me." I said and he did. But his eyes were glued to me. The travelled below my face but not past the level of the water.

"Uh close your eyes for a sec, please?" I asked and he obeyed. I covered my chest just in case anyway and walked to the edge of the spring and sat down. I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him backwards.

"Come back a little but don't turn around." I told him. He did and once he was comfortable I told him he could open his eyes as long as he didn't turn around. I started massaging and rubbing his neck. It was true, he was pull of tension and knots. He sighed and groaned and the frown melted off of his face. By the time I was done I slid in the water next to him and moved a bit further away.

"Do you feel better now?" I asked timidly. How else to you talk to a man who was very naked and looking at you like that? I couldn't even describe that look.

"Much better. Come closer. I will return the favour." He offered but I smiled and shook my head.

"No, its fine, but im glad I could help you. I really intended this trip to relax you and make you happy. It seems like it has done anything but so far. Honestly being in this hot spring is nice but it brings but terrible memories. I was terrified when we found you after your battle with Nodt. You were cut up so badly that we could see the bone of all of your ribs and spine. I still have nightmares about it sometimes. I probably sound like a terrible person saying this but, it hurt me more to watch you dying in front of me than to lose both Ichigo and Renji. When we were placed in the healing spring for rejuvenation, I stayed close to you trying to keep your face out of the water. Sadly, by the time I was awake both Renji and Ichigo were too and we were all naked! Even you, but I didn't really care at the time because you were healing. Its selfish but I hoped with all my heart that you would stay with me even though I knew you would have wanted to join Hisana." I told him and his gaze softened.

"Its all right now, its all over. I am actually enjoying the hot spring. It is warm and relaxing and it smells lovely. I even got rid of my stiff neck. And you weren't selfish Rukia. Honestly, I would have chosen to live with you. You always underestimate how significant you are to me. Losing Hisana when I loved her as I did was terrible but, in a way, if felt life a relief. We suffered together through those years and when she died I felt like a weight had been lifted from me. If I lost you, then or ever it would rip out my heart. I don't think I could survive that kind of pain. The mere though is unbearable." He said and looked into the water sadly.

"I wont ever leave you if I can help it. I would only leave if you told me you didn't want me around anymore." I told him sadly. I didn't hear him move in the water until he stood in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Then we will stay together indefinitely, because I wont ever let you leave me. Your future love interests will suffer greatly for trying to take you away from me." He told me and I blushed. I lunged forward and hugged him tightly. He returned my hug strongly. A minute went by and I felt myself shiver from suppressed laughter.

"Well now you can say you have seen me naked too. I never would have guessed that we would be hugging in the spring butt naked." I said and he froze in my embrace before he removed his arms from me.

"My apologies, my behaviour is outrageous. I understand if you are upset with me." He said and I sighed. On a second thought I splashed water at him playfully.

"There isn't anything to apologise for. Its not like you had lewd thoughts about me." I said and shrugged. His face became an odd pink colour.

"I trust you. I would even sit in your lap because I know you wouldn't do anything to me." I continued and his face got a little bit brighter. It was just too easy to tease him. I grew up with boys and my best friends were guys too. I knew just how to mess with him.

"I think you give me too much credit. I am still a man and you are a beautiful woman. I have my limitations as anyone does." He said and I rolled my eyes. He doesn't see me like that and we both knew it.

I walked towards my towel because I was ready to get out. I wasn't far when I tripped and squeaked, almost going head under if he hadn't lunged forward and caught me.

"Thank y- "I began to say before he tripped over a rock while he was trying to steady us and his mouth crashed into mine.

Wide eyes looked into wide eyes. I gulped and he breathed out heavily. We slowly drew apart from each other.

"Um, are you okay?" I asked and looked at the small distance of water between us. It wasn't really a kiss. It was more like what happened if you pressed two plastic dolls together. No sparks or special feelings, just soft lips on lips. I could even feel his teeth, and my jaw hurt from how he collided with me. He looked away and I quickly wrapped myself in my towel.

"That was awkward. But its okay. I'm going to get changed and I will meet you in the reception room. You can stay here and try to relax a while longer if you would like, I don't mind." I told him and smiled as I left. He looked like a statue except for his eyes that followed me.

I dried myself down and dressed myself snugly. I took a seat in the reception and waited for Byakuya. I didn't wait longer than a few minutes because he walked out freshly dressed. Only he looked a little bit off for some reason but I shrugged it off. I smiled at him and waited for him to join me so we could walk to the festival together. He seemed to be watching me a lot as we walked. Its wasn't unnerving but it was becoming awkward.

I told him the festival started from the next block from where we were and he nodded in reply. He didn't seem as if he was in a bad mood but he didn't look happy exactly. I was about to put my hands in my pockets when one of his hands grabbed mine. I held it tightly even though I was still in shock.

Usually he never initiated any contact between us other that the rare hug. Maybe I made him sad again.

BYAKUYA

It was horrible and wonderful at the same time. It wasn't quiet a kiss but something strange tugged at my heart. For a moment I wished it were a kiss, at least before I came to my senses. My mind was in utter turmoil. I dressed myself quickly and left to meet her. We walked in silence to wherever she was leading us.

I looked at her trying to figure out what I was that made me feel so strange. It wasn't attraction was it? It couldn't be. We have been together for half a century already and I felt nothing remotely romantic towards her. Still. I looked at her hand. It looked so warm, so soft and fragile. I wanted to keep it safe. I reached out and took her hand as we entered the road to the entrance of the festival grounds.

She led us to a more populated part of the festival where different food stands were stations and already crowded with customers. My stomach flipped at the thought of being squished among them, thankfully after looking closely at them all she saw something she was interested in. it was some strange food cooked and eaten on a hot plate. She made reservations for us for two hours later.

We walked together through the stands. Rukia explained the festivities and games to me, for instance the humans played a game where they had to catch goldfish in little wooden pan which was similar to the game we had by catching carp with a net. They had dancing contests, singing contests, charity stands, prize winning games of different characteristics, entertainment of different varieties and also strange contraptions that you were supposed to ride.

"Byakuya! We have to go on the Ferris wheel! And the Stomach Twister! Oh, look at that cute rabbit toy! Aw, look, so many people are wearing kimonos! We should have as well! Oh, look cotton candy! You have to try some!" Rukia said excitedly. Her eyes positively sparkled at the substance created for the soul purpose of tooth rot.

She decided to forgo the candy treat after seeing my lightly green face, but instead led me to a stand where you picked a number and the worker would look under the cup for you to see if you won one of the main prizes. There were a hundred cups and only two were removed so far so her chances weren't very high.

The game became easier each time a cup was not the main prize because the cups were removed after each failed guess. Some had lesser prize tickets under them so that the player didn't feel completely put out after failing to obtain the golden ticket which won you one of the bigger more expensive looking toys.

"Wait Rukia. We should come back later and try to win it. The probability isn't good at the moment, when there are less cups the odds of success are greater." I told her and she smiled ruefully.

"I know that but I don't want to risk waiting only for someone else's luck to triumph my own. I would rather choose my own number and if I lose know that, that is how it was meant to be." She said with a shrug. Sadly, a person was only allowed to play the game once so if her number wasn't correct she couldn't try again even if she wanted to. I don't understand why she would want that rabbit either. I know she loves rabbits but that toy just looked depressing. One eye had a block spot on it and the other eye had a cross. It had blue eyes and a smiling face but the centre of its stomach was a giant red broken heart.

"Alright young lady, which cup will you choose?" The stall worker asked her and she smiles eagerly.

"Number thirteen!" She said proudly. The man smiled and walked over to the cup lifting it up. Nothing, not even a lesser prize.

"That's too bad cutie pie! Thirteen is an unlucky number to begin with anyway." He laughed and went to answer the next person. Rukia pouted sadly and walked away.

"I definitely thought that my squad number would be lucky. I would have gone for number one but it was already gone. Not that it would have helped." She told me sadly. I smiled. Nothing was more refreshing than a gracious loser.

"Oh hey, that the charity Ichigo and I helped raise funds for, for one of the school donations there was while I went to school with him here. A kissing booth? Fifty to five thousand yen per donation and each donator gets to kiss one of the charity holders' sponsors. I will be right back." She said and fished around in her wallet to get out a one-hundred-yen bill. I frowned and grabbed her wrist.

"You aren't really going to kiss some random stranger, are you?" I asked her accusingly. She smirked and tugged herself free. I watched as she handed over her money and explained something to the two men who were volunteers for kissers. She gave them the bill and kissed either of them on the cheeks. They all laughed and she turned and walked back towards me.

"What? Not what you were expecting? Kisses don't have to only be between lover you know. Besides I had to donate for both Ichigo and myself. I have fond memories of fund raising for their children's hospital." She told me and smiled shyly. So, she paid double the maximum amount for her self and Kurosaki? I frowned and got out a fifty-thousand-yen bill. And walked over to the less attractive of the two woman and filled in a form with my name, cell phone number and amount donated. I was going to kiss her cheek but she turned and kissed my mouth. She laughed merrily along with the other three people but I quickly wiped my mouth and walked back to a hysteric Rukia who was holding her stomach laughing.

"That was priceless! You look so…defiled!" She said and laughed a bit more before her laugher died out.

"I do feel defiled! How dare she!" I growled at her and her happiness drained from her face.

"The reason they are at the festival is because it is supposed to be fun. They didn't mean to make you feel dirty or anything, they were just playing with you. Here watch this." She said and waved over to the girls at the donation stand. The looked our way and waved back. Rukia pressed herself on to me in a hug and mouthed the word, 'mine!', out at them. They laughed and held up their hands in mock surrender. Rukia smiled and looked up at me. I felt my anger fade and smiled slightly.

"Hmm, how daring are you feeling? You already kissed a strange girl, how far are you willing to go?" She asked me mischievously. My eye twitched nervously.

"That was not on purpose as you know." I told her as she pulled me towards a loud group of people who were singing karaoke for a contest. The winners prise was a full karaoke system set. Why would we need something like that? Rukia was writing something on a piece of paper and accept two tickets and handed me mine.

"What is this for?" I asked her curiously. She smiled up at me innocently.

"Well it says the number you are in line for your song. See, I am contestant thirty-seven and you are thirty-eight. Think of a song you think you can sing quickly! I would have chosen a duet for us but you don't know the songs I do well enough!" She said excitedly and my eyes widened in horror.

"Rukia! I can't sing! And I refuse to sing in front of all these people! How could you do this to me?" I asked her sadly. And covered my face with my hand in despair.

"Come on, all birds can sing right? You will be fine! Choose a song you have heard before. If you really don't want to sing you don't have to come forward." She told me placatingly. I groaned and massaged my temple.

"Rukia. I am not a real bird! That is just a form I can take! I cannot remember any songs I have heard you play either! I'm sorry, I can't participate." I told her sadly and she looked sad for a while. When her number came up she flinched but rose her hand in the air and presented her ticked to the person setting up the songs. She walked up onto the stage confidently.

"My name is Rukia Kuchiki, I am…seventeen years old, and I will be singing 'Shape of you' by Ed Sheeran. Im ready." She pronounced and I watched her proudly. I would have to try to learn to sing, for her sake. She seemed to enjoy this type of thing. She sang and danced seductively. The audience loved her. I waited at the other end of the stage for her because I didn't want anyone to try anything on her.

"You did splendidly. Well done Rukia." I told her and she smiled. I don't know what possessed me, but when my number was called I walked up on the stage. Rukia looked absolutely at a loss. I heard how she sang the song and it was obviously targeting a female audience. I looked directly towards her.

"My name is Byakuya Kuchiki, I am nineteen years old and I will also be singing 'Shape of you' by Ed Sheeran." I smirked at Rukia's horrified yet excited face. A group of rowdy females had already began screaming my name excitedly. It was very encouraging. I told the man playing the songs that I was ready and I sang. I sang well. Rukia laughed and shouted in happiness. What I do for her. The heat flooded my face. The song ended and I quickly stroke off of the stage back to her and away from the woman who had been trying to grab me from below the stage.

"That was amazing! And you said you couldn't sing!? You liar!" She shouted and shoved me playfully. I couldn't help but laugh along with her.

"Oh, my goodness! Rukia? Hey Rukia!" Called Orihime as she and a few of Kurosaki's friends ran to catch up with her.

"I can't believe you sang so well! You will surely win! That is of course if your brother doesn't win." She babbled on. My face felt hot and stiff. I hadn't thought that anyone I knew other than Rukia would have seen me. How shameful! Have I abandoned my inhibitions?! I berated myself silently. I ignored any looks or questions directed to me by the humans and waited for Rukia to bid them farewell.

"You really surprised me you know. I'm so happy to see you so open like this! I almost regret missing the day games! We could have won so many competitions! There is still some of that cute boy inside of you after all. I like it." She told me playfully and my heart leapt into my throat. Usually I wasn't so affected by compliments or teasing. I looked away before she could see the reddening of my cheeks. Why was I acting like an adolescent?!

"Hey! There is the ride I wanted us to go on. Do don't get motion sickness, do you?" She asked me and I shook my head. What was motion sickness? I haven't even contracted it before so I probably didn't have it.

"Good! Then come with me!" She said and pulled me towards the Stomach twisted. She told me it was supposed to me fun and so far, things were turning out not to be as bad as I thought it would be, so why not?

A man helped us both get secured in the seats of the ball shaped machine. Once all the seats were filled the man left to start the machine. It rose higher and higher and my sense of trepidation grew greater. Then all of a sudden it spun. Really, really fast. I held the chair for support and shut my eyes tightly. The other people screamed and laughed and I prayed to heavens to it to end soon. After forever it finally did. Rukia couldn't even stand straight and leaned on me as we walked away.

"S-so, what do you think?" She stammered. And looked at me with out of focus eyes.

"I think, we are fortunate to have been seated away from the pink haired man with motion sickness. Why would people want to torcher themselves like this?" I asked her and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself.

"Its for the adrenalin. People like the high feeling that the excitement and fear of the uncontrollable give them. Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it at all? Let's do it again, maybe you will like it the second time around." She said and pulled me towards the machine. I quickly scooped her up around the waist and walked far away from it.

"Alright, I admit it. I felt like throwing up." I told her embarrassedly and she laughed. Before gasping and pulling away from me only to grab my hand and pull me through the mobs of humans.

"Come with me! We are going to be late for our dinner!" Rukia shouted out as we ran back to the restaurant she had made reservations at.

RUKIA

We were received by a very irate hostess. The woman looked positively livid. She must have assumed that we weren't coming. But after we were settled and seated and I placed our order she looked pleased and trotted off to prepare our meal.

"Rukia, what did you order for us?" Byakuya asked hesitantly. I knew he wasn't too fond of food from the world of the living because it was either all junk food or overly processed foods. I couldn't blame him really, I was horrified in our home economic class when we had theory classes about how the quality of food has decreased greatly over the last decade.

"It is a special they have here, all fresh produce, nothing processed, out of a bag or tin, or deep-fried in oil. It is a serving for two consisting of all three of the friendship meals, Sukiyaki: a hot pot, Teriyaki: grilled marinade beef and chicken and Yakitori: skewered food grilled on a stick. You will love them, I am sure! I specifically picket out this place because I knew you wouldn't enjoy the other foods at the stands, and even the festival sushi bar looked kind of suspicious to me. You might want to wash your hands in the lemon water bowl before we eat though." I told him as a server came to offer us beverages.

Byakuya looked at the list at a loss. Obviously, he didn't know any of these drinks, or at least the names.

"Brother, do you feel like alcohol, fruit juice, soda or water?" I asked him and I could almost read the word 'sake' travel across his eyes, so before he could answer me I asked the server for a bottle of bitter red port wine, and a cream soda for myself.

"Port wine should compliment the food well, and they don't really sell sake in this world anymore. The only sake I know of is the sacred sake at the shrines. Don't worry, it isn't too sweet or too strong." I told him and appreciated the grateful smile he sent my way. This was so different to how things were at home. Usually he ordered for us. Thankfully I wasn't a fussy eater, but sometimes he ordered things that I just couldn't eat. Like snails. Or shrimp.

"This is actually very enjoyable, thank you for bringing me here, Rukia. Though, I suspect it is the company that makes it so." He said thoughtfully. I grinned at him and our server appeared with our drinks. At first, I could see that he wasn't enjoying himself but eventually he just started loosening up, and now look at him, sipping his red wine.

"This is actually very good. Not something I could have too often though, but why if I may ask, is your drink green?" He asked me attentively.

"This is cream soda, I don't know what it is made of really but it is soda water, it doesn't taste like cream but it is very nice. Probably too sweet for your tastes but you may try it if you like?" I offered and held out my glass to him. He took a sip and scrunched his face.

"Definitely too sweet. Would you like to try mine?" He offered casually and I narrowed my eyes playfully at him.

"I'm a light weight, any amount of alcohol has an effect on me. I hate the prospect of being taken advantage of by good looking men so naturally I avoid drink." I told him and covered my mouth with my sleeve. He looked so innocent! And embarrassed!

"Rukia, I would never! I honestly had no idea, although I can never recall you drinking." He said thoughtfully. I smiled shyly and stole a sip from his glass. He watched me for a long moment.

"What? I wasn't insinuating that you would harm me. I wouldn't mind drinking with you because I know I am safe with you." I told him and gently pushed his glass back to him. Our meal was served across the table and our eyes roamed the food hungrily. The Sukiyaki was in the middle between us and the Yakitori and Teriyaki were on either side of us. He saw a pair of chopsticks but looked at the food cautiously. He couldn't possibly be contemplating eating with his chopsticks?! I better stop this now before it ends in a train wreck, besides he completely missed the two spoons covered in a serviette. I picked up a Yakitori and held it on either side.

"You eat it like this, with your hands, but before you eat it you must brush it with the sauce. Watch me." I told him and held my Yakitori with one hand and coated it with some sauce, I put the brush back in the pot and held the other end of the stick, turning it a bit to help the sauce cover more of the food before taking a bite. It was delicious! I licked my lips and smiled at Byakuya who was thoroughly embarrassed to be eating with his hands. He took a hesitant bit after preparing his own Yakitori and I watched him with bated breath. He was contemplating the flavours. He swallowed and licked his lips. I found myself following his tongue with my eyes. It was improper to lick your lips among the nobility. It was proper manners to wipe your mouth instead. I think I broke him! I blushed slightly and adverted my eyes, what was I doing staring at him like that while he was eating!

"It is really good. I am surprised, I didn't believe humans could possibly create food good enough for my tastes. I approve of your tastes." He told me and we ate in relative companionable silence. He enjoyed all three of the dishes, but we both agreed that dessert would spoil out meal. We left happy and with full stomachs.

"There is one last ride I want to go on with you. Its one of the most popular rides in the human world, probably because they are limited to the grounds high." I told him and led him to the Ferris wheel. He looked up at it in trepidation.

"Don't worry, it doesn't move fast or anything like the others. Its enjoyable because of the scenery, its not so bad." I tried to comfort him and he nodded. He took a seat on one side and I took the other and leaned my head on the glass while we waited for it to start. I closed my eyes tiredly and thumbed my fingers around in my pockets, trying to prepare myself for the surprise I promised him after this.

I opened my eyes tiredly and found him looking at me. Heat rushed to my cheeks and I quickly looked out of the window.

"Look, we aren't at the top yet but from here you can see the high school courtyard of Karakura Highschool." I said and pointed. He looked at all the things I pointed out, but I knew his eyes travelled back to me every few moments.

"So, this is the attraction of the Ferris wheel." He stated and I nodded. It was fun for regular humans to be higher that they could possibly ordinarily be to look down at the world. I started when out of the corner of my eye I saw something explode. We both snapped our heads to the direction and moved closer to inspect the disturbance.

"Oh! I completely forgot about the fireworks! It's lucky that we came here when we did, I think we have the best seats for viewing them from up here." I told him and took out my phone to take pictures. Kon was currently on the internet playing games. I started when a flash went off next to me.

"We rarely see fireworks these days, so I thought that I too would commemorate the occasion." He said wistfully and took another picture of me. I grinned and waited for the next batch of fireworks to go off again before I took a few of him. When the ride was over we decided to head home.

"Actually, I still have a surprise for you, remember? There is one last place we need to go to before we go home." I told him and he nodded dutifully and took my hand, waiting for me to lead him to wherever it was. I smiled. I wondered if he would be this daring around the people at home. I knocked that thought from my mind quickly. The only reason he was being like this was because the people at home weren't watching him and constantly judging his every action. I frowned sadly. Hopefully he didn't feel alone anymore.

I lead him to the gates of Karakura Highschool and jumped over the fence. I nodded for him to do the same. Breaking onto premises didn't really bother us, we were already dead after all. I lead him to the music hall and picked the lock on the door. We walked in and I walked to the piano and smiled at him. I took the cover off of the piano and lay in of the floor gently.

"Take a seat." I said and gestured to the many seats. He took one and I placed my phone on audio record. I sat down on the bench carefully and started playing the song, 'Yuri on Ice' composed by a friend of the athletes. I let the music fill me with feeling and I sighed as my fingers caressed the keys is sweet notes. I learnt this song during the final year of school with Ichigo. This song among others was all the rage and everyone wanted to learn it. It was a beautiful song.

By the time I drew the song to a close and brushed my hands over the keys before gently closing the lid and standing up, I was genuinely exhausted. I stretched with my hands over my head and smiled as I looked over to where Byakuya was sitting. I gasped in shock. He was looking at me with such a sense of awe, his mouth was parted and silver streaks shone over his cheeks. Did I truly play badly enough to made him cry?! I was horrified! I quickly turned off the recorder and pocketed my phone.

"I'm so sorry! It has been a long time since I have practiced! The last time was here at Ichigo's school. I'm sorry if you didn't like it." I babbled as he walked up to me. I looked down but I could see him wipe at his cheeks. He gently lifted my face up with his hands on either side of my face and looked at me in a strange way that made my stomach flip.

"You were beautiful Rukia, perfect." He said and I blushed and looked up at him shyly.

"Thank you, but what about the song?" I playfully grinned at him. His lips twitched into a small smile before he leaned down and kissed my forehead. I gasped softly and held my breath.

"It was also lovely. I should get one of these instruments for the house so you may pursue your talent at the art." He told me softly.

"That would be nice, but I'm not really that good of a player." I said and held up my phone for him to see.

"I recorded that song as well, if you want to hear it again sometime? I will send it to you." I told him and he frowned sadly.

"I would like that. You really do play well Rukia, I haven't ever heard anything better. You must play for me again at home." He told me and I pressed my face into his hand shyly, trying to hide my face from him. I nodded softly and walked away towards the door.

"We should be heading home now, I think. I hope you enjoyed the Summer festival? I will be returning to the world of the living for lunch in three days at the Kurosaki household, you are welcome to come with me, but you will have to be nicer to them, especially Orihime and Yuzu." I told him as he walked up to me.

"I am not a social butterfly, I do not like being around people, especially humans. I will go with you but I can't promise that I won't be impolite. I am not fond of Kurosaki's friends at all but I will miss you too much if you leave me so I will endure it." He said stiffly. We opened the Senkaimon and walked back home.

The day was a success in my opinion, but he could have been nicer to my human friends.


	13. Chapter 13

BYAKUYA

I walked into my room and closed the door. The day had turned out rather enjoyable. I lay in my bed and carefully recounted the entire days happenings. Something that kept bothering me though was that rabbit toy.

When I was sure that Rukia was sound asleep in her room I climbed back into my gigai and opened the Senkaimon. It didn't take me long to find the stall. My cheeks burnt in embarrassment as I paid the grinning old bat of a worker.

"You came to try your luck for that girlfriend of yours, ey? What number do you choose? Only twenty cups left, I fear this fellow has beaten the day and no one will walk away with him." He said in humour. I narrowed my eyes and pointed to the cup labelled number six. I had a one in twenty chance and while thirteen is admittedly an unlucky number, six was not. Most of the numbers considered as lucky were already gone so my guess was to choose a number that was neither here nor there.

"Let's see what we- Ah! So, someone has finally gotten the better of you, eh Bitter rabbit?" He said as he reached up to the rabbit sitting on a high stand. He peeled the 'winner!' stickers off of its ticket and stuck it carefully onto the rabbit's merchandise tag.

"You must really love your girl to come back here for this guy, I can only imagine your embarrassment if you lost! And now you get to walk through the crowd with a sad bunny, mind you a lot of ladies are into men like you." He told me and winked.

"Thank you." I said coldly and walked away from the stand quickly. Once I found a secluded location I opened the Senkaimon and walked back into my room. I could see the light on in Rukia's room signalling that she had woken up. I put my gigai to rest and slid open my door. I placed the rabbit toy gently down in front of her door and knocked twice before returning to my room and closing the door.

I almost jumped out of my skin when an ear shattering screech sounded from the passage way. I turned around debating if I should see if she was alright or not but before I could I heard loud footsteps running to my room. My door almost slid off its hinges! And she leapt at me in lightning speed! She secured her legs around my waist and hugged neck, pushing my face into her neck.

"Thank you! I can't believe you went back for it! Hell, I can't believe you won! And it was number six the whole time! I knew it had to be a division number!" She chattered excitedly. I smiled and hugged her back. She was behaving indecently, but I could forgive her excitement this once, especially considering the last time I told her off she let me.

"Well…I though that our time was spent rather well except for the moment where you didn't win the rabbit. I hoped to erase the sadness on your face from my memory by giving it to you. Though I can't understand why you wanted such a sad toy so badly. Its broken heart saddens me." I told her honestly.

"I don't think of it as 'broken'. It's like me. That's why I wanted it. My heart belongs to so many people, from our world and the world of the living. I don't think of it as broken, but rather as two loves that can't join. It doesn't mean I will be unhappy just because I can't have everyone I want with me together all the time. One side on my heart is yours and the other belongs to my friends. See, its not broken, and you even got the larger portion, aren't you lucky!" She explained to me and teased me slightly.

"I should hope so! Many humans gave me strange looks to walking around with a stuffed toy!" I said and covered my eyes with the back on my hand dramatically, peeking out at her from the side when she laughed.

"Thank you Byakuya." She said softly and kissed my cheek before jumping off of me and walking to my door. My cheek was on fire!

"I think I will call him Byabunny, in honour of his daddy." She said and I flushed.

"Daddy?" I asked her carefully. She nodded brightly and hugged the toy to her chest, only peeking out over its head.

"You saved it for me so that makes you it's dad. I can't possibly be a dad so I have to be its mother." She said teasingly and stuck her tongue out at me teasingly before running back to her room. I resisted the urge to chase her. Some things never change. I wished for the first time that I had met her before Hisana. I stilled at the thought. I never really compared them to each other but, I have never thought of Rukia in such a way before. As someone I could have ever been with.

I decided that these thoughts were useless to me anyway. I would always have her with me if fate permitted it and that was enough. We are finally friends. Family. I would never do anything to upset our relationship with each other in any way. If I had met her first…

I was tired, thinking such stupid thoughts. Being close to another person after so long must be affecting me badly. Especially since she is a girl. I have starved myself of love for so long that now that I have some of it, I want all of it. And that would be unfair to her. And what would society think of us? How many more ways can I shame the family?

I couldn't say that I true was romantically interested in her anyway. She was very attractive, talented, fiery, full of life and excitement, she was wild and untamed in many ways, she refused to fully conform to the nobility I have granted her and remains her same self as she was when I found her.

I lay with my eyes closed trying to sleep but more and more thought kept my mind awake. She played the piano beautifully. I have never heard or seen something so beautiful in my entire life. Or have I? perhaps I have, but again, it would probably be something to do with her. The way she touched the eyes so sensually, so passionately. How could she think that she was anything less than perfect? I know Kurosaki teased her about her singing, I am told that human boys tease girls they are interested in. Perhaps it was a similar case. I would try to find an instrument worthy of her and dedicate a room in the main house to her learnings.

I can't believe what she can make be do. If anyone had seen me today, I would e forever shamed! Stripping bare for a strange woman to massage me. She wasn't even good at it! Rukia did it professionally. And I am sure that that man had perverted thoughts while he massaged Rukia. And the sounds she made! Gods! So indecent! His massage couldn't have been that good any way if it was anything like mine.

The food in the world of the living was incredible! My mouth began watering at the mere thought of the friendship dish called Sukiyaki. The meat and vegetables were perfect! The broth was tasty and delicious! I felt shamed at first to eat the Yakitori with my hands but it too was delicious! I stopped and swallowed my thoughts right there. Food such as that wasn't meant for our people. This is why we shouldn't have spent too much time in the world of the living, growing materialistic and attached to things that weren't supposed to exist in our world. Technology and all those human foods and drink were for the mortals, not the souls.

I still couldn't believe that Rukia could already read me so easily. She anticipates my thought, my needs and then offers them to me. I never thought I would be made so happy just for some one to know me. I felt myself smile in my sleep and silent tears ran down my temples. Happy tears. Someone who is always alone, doesn't know how to fear loneliness, because they are the embodiment of that fear, the fear of loss and solitude. Having someone close to me like this made me unbelievably happy.

So, she wanted the rabbit because it reminded her of herself? I still don't see it. But I could understand a bit of what she said, as long as more of her love was for me than for others I could be happy. I wouldn't slack in my duties as a captain, or as the head of the family. I will strive to do my best and make her proud of me. I warm feeling flooded my chest.

I turned around to try and get a better position for sleep. But my thoughts continued to disturb me. A kissing booth? For charity? Surely, they had other ways of raising funds, why do something so demeaning? And the nerve of that silly human girl! Defiling me in such a way! And Rukia found it amusing! She even kissed two strangers! And on behalf of Kurosaki no less! Will he never cease causing trouble for me, even from the grave?!

And when we shared a bath at the spring. Why didn't she leave? I should have left if she didn't. the realisation did nothing to make me feel better. Letting such a dangerous situation take place was terrible judgement on my part. And something worse than an accidental kiss could have happened if she had let me massage her in return. It had been many years since these strange feeling troubled me, and the first time I paid attention to them led me to nothing but trouble.

That was bad enough at the spring, but after hearing her play, after watching her, I just wanted to hold her, connect with her somehow. I kissed her forehead, and I knew that it was over the top. She didn't pull away or act disgusted, she didn't act like it mattered at all really and that is probably for the best. Then she kissed me. It was out of gratitude, similarly to mine, but hers felt a lot warmer. I thought about offering her a side of my bed for the night but I decided it was better now to fuel my foreign thoughts and feelings.

I loved being care for by her. I wanted her to care even more about me. I knew it was a pipe dream though. At best I will end up like Abarai, pining for eternity. And what's more shameful is that not three months have passed, I know he has moved on. I remember what he told me, but I don't think trying to move on with Rukia is what he meant.

I finally began dozing off. Byabunny, huh?

RUKIA

Days passed quickly and it was already Friday. I didn't tell Byakuya that I planned on shopping in the morning before we left for the evening get together. I needed to get Orihime a gift for her baby shower in just two weeks' time. I intended to get something for her and for the baby of course. Which led me to horrible thoughts about my own baby that I lost because of my own recklessness. Didn't that make me just as bad as Hisana? My mother? Were we truly so alike that we killed our own children before they could live?

I sat down at the dining table next to Byakuya and looked at my food. I honestly didn't feel like eating at the moment. I have been avoiding the fact that I was going to be a mother for long enough. I didn't want to think about or accept that it was true because that hurt me in many ways. Seeing Orihime so happy expecting her own baby even if the father, the man she loved was dead made me feel even worse.

I was happy for her and her family, our friends. It only made me hate myself more for the injustice to my own unborn baby of only a few weeks. I could have let someone stronger, someone more capable of killing that arancar go out and do the job for me, but honour and suicidal thoughts made me go myself. Made me give up, try to throw my life away. A life was thrown away, alright. An innocent life that I was supposed to protect.

I noticed that I was staring at my cold plate of breakfast and that Byakuya was looking at me in concern.

"I'm sorry, I was spacing out. Did you say something?" I asked politely. He looked at me carefully and nodded.

"Yes, are you feeling unwell? Why are you already dressed to go out? I wasn't aware we were doing anything earlier than the evening. Perhaps if you are feeling unwell you should stay home and rest." He suggested kindly. I felt terrible and guilty for not including him in my plans but I needed to be alone. I didn't know if I would need to fall apart and even though I loved him and trusted him it because it was him that I couldn't let him see me like that.

"I'm fine, don't worry. I didn't tell you because I need to buy something for Orihime and the baby for the baby shower in the coming fortnight. I didn't think you would be interested in baby shopping since the elders are always at your throat about children, and honestly, I think I need to be alone for a while to do what I need to do. I will be fine by the time we need to meet them, but until then I just need so time." I told him as I looked down at my unappetising food. I pushed my plate away from me and shifted in my seat.

"Forgive me, but you do not sound 'fine' this morning. I will accompany you." He said softly. I know he meant well but he didn't understand that I wanted to be alone.

"No. Please understand. I need to be alone. Shopping for baby things is difficult for me now. I don't want company. I want to do what I have to do by myself, quickly and efficiently and then be alone to deal with…things, without any eyes on me." I told him gentry but seriously. His eyes widened a fraction and he put his hand over mine. I left it there before drawing my hand into my lap.

"I didn't know, I'm sorry." He said softly. I bit my lip a little bit.

"It's alright, I'm fine really. I don't plan on being there any longer than I need to be. I will do my shopping and then come home. I don't think I will feel like company for a while though, I hope you understand? I don't know how to deal with this at all, I just feel like I need to do it alone, after all it was my fault." I told him with a small hint of bitterness and sorrow.

"Nothing was your fault Rukia." He said and looked like he was going to say more but I glared at him. My sudden animosity probably caught him off guard.

"It was my fault." I snapped angrily. I clenched my jaws and got up from my seat.

"I'm sorry, please excuse me." I said softly and bowed respectfully. I was ashamed with myself for snapping at him. Yes, I was at fault, I was to blame. Yet I snapped at him in anger that was directed towards myself. Once I was away from the dining room I ran to my room and closed the door quietly. I took a few steadying breaths to calm myself. Kon was startled and I had to reassure him that I was alright.

I looked at myself in the mirror. A tight navy long sleeved winter velvet dress that Ichigo had bought me, with tights. The clothes be bought me must have cost him a fortune. I loved him so much and I missed him. I could have talked to him bout Hisana, about the baby, about everything. He was so kind and caring. We did love each other and the romantic feelings always lingered just below the surface. I decided thought, that even if Ichigo came back to me I wouldn't ever start another romantic relationship unless I was certain that I was in love with the man. Loving him wasn't enough, wanting to be with him forever without regret is what I wanted to feel. I felt that way about Ichigo for sure, but not in the way where we sleep together kind of way.

Once I was calm, I put on my flat black pumps with cute little black bows on them and wrapped a silver synthetic fur scarf around my neck. I kept my hair down because it was supposed to be cold today in the world of the living. I picked up the cell phone pouch I bought for Kon that hung around my neck and slipped it on and him inside, as well as my credit cards.

I looked at myself once more in the mirror. I was alright. I could do this. I nodded and opened the Senkaimon. I walked out of an ally in the world of the livings mall district and looked around me. It was quite busy today. I took a deep breath and started walking around. I suddenly realised that I didn't know a place that sold baby thing or maternity things. I decided to go into the clothing store that I bought my dresses from for the funeral and ask one of the assistants if they had any or knew where I could get some.

"Hi, I was wondering if you sold clothing for mothers to be?" I asked an assistant that I hadn't seen before.

"Oh, I'm sorry we don't stock clothing like that here, you may want to look at the store on the other side of town called 'Mommy and Me'." She said and I cringed at the name. I thanked her and left for the other side of town. It wasn't as safe as this part of town but it wasn't dangerous for someone like me. I could still use my Kido in this gigai if worst came to worst am I'm sure that a store selling mother and baby merchandise shouldn't be in a dangerous place, or else it would dramatically lose business.

When I found the store, I walked in without paying much notice to the pregnant manikins or advertisement pictures with pregnant woman or woman with babies. I walked straight to the clothing isle. It occurred to me that Orihime's already large breasts would probably be even more ginormous now that she was having a baby. It would be best to get two sizes bigger and kept the slip in case she needs to exchange it for a different size.

I ended up getting her a dress, a coat and a lactating device used for helping the mother extract milk for filling bottles. It seemed like a good one, at least it said easy and pain free. I walked to the baby section. There was honestly no telling how big the baby would be when it was born and I still didn't know the gender of the baby so I couldn't shop gender specific.

I found clothing suited more or less for the age of the baby. They should have clothing for a new born so I bought a Babygro for one month, two months and three months. The difference in size was astounding! How could a baby grow that fast!? I sighed and looked at the baby accessories. Money was an issue for them so I decided to buy the baby a stroller since Orihime would also appreciate not having to use hand me downs if Isshin even still had the ones he used with his kids. As I was walking away I saw a set of three adorable bunny shaped dummies and smiled softly. I picked them up and added them to the trolley. I walked to the tills and waited behind a young mom her mother and her baby in a stroller.

The baby looked at me and smiled. I bit my lip. I all of a sudden felt like I was going to burst out crying. Im just going to ignore them, pay for these things and leave. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted wrapping paper. How could I forget? I quickly picked up two rolls and added them to my things. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the baby was still looking at me intently. I refused to look at it a second time.

The family just finished paying for their items and moved the strolled away and towards the door when the baby started crying. The sound felt like a thousand knives in the heart. I would never get to hear my baby crying because it was dead. Because of me. I held a hand to my mouth to try and restrain a sob. I closed my eyes and collected myself. I took a deep breath and handed over my credit card.

I didn't have a car to take my trolley to, not that a car could get me home so when I was sure no one was watching me I opened the Senkaimon and went straight into my room, trolley and all. I unpacked my goods and exit the Senkaimon only to put the trolley back before returning to my room. Should I show Byakuya what I got before I wrapped it? No, I don't care if he would have wanted to see it. I didn't want to look at it! I took photos to show him if he asked and quickly wrapped my gifts prettily. Once I was done I changed into my nightwear and got into my futon. I just needed to rest.

I could feel Byakuya's spiritual pressure surround my room worriedly. I spread my own around myself protectively. He was trying to get a read on my feelings without asking me or seeing me. Then I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Yes?" I answered with my head under the covers. The door opened slowly and someone walking in if only a little.

"Would you like for me to send for some tea? It might make you feel better. You didn't eat this morning either and you need to eat something." Byakuya suggested silently.

"Thank you, but I'm not hungry. I wouldn't mind having some tea though." I said softly from under the covers. Honestly, I hadn't shed a tear but my eyes burnt from dryness and my throat was hot and sore.

He walked out of my room and called a maid. It wasn't long before he joined me in my room. He brought a sitting cushion so that be could sit beside my bed. It was silent and I honestly didn't feel like looking at him at the moment. I still felt incredibly guilty.

"Would you like to see the photos of the items I bought?" I asked him from under the covers. He said he would so I took a deep breath and sat up in my futon. I took my cell phone from beside me and found the pictures, I gave him the phone and he smiled slightly.

"I like your taste." He said when I showed him the rabbit onesies and dummies. I snorted softly and a maid came in and placed a tray with a tea pot, two cups and my favourite dumplings in front of me. I looked at Byakuya accusingly but he only smiled. The maid poured our tea for us and Byakuya dismissed her.

After a while of being stubborn I reached for a dumpling and glared at him, daring him to say a word as I bit into it. He just smiled like his all-knowing self.

"I never want to go into another mother and baby store ever again. I think I just traumatised myself more." I told him. His smile left his face and he looked at me sadly.

"Rukia. I don't want to upset you but you should know that I was there the night you lost the baby. I followed you into the world of the living, in fact I entered before you so that I could track you. I intended to let you seek your revenge but only help you if you needed it, unfortunately I was too late. I am just as much to blame as you are. If you intend to blame yourself then you must blame me as well because I could have saved you this misery if I had stepped in sooner or let you die. However, I am selfish and I saved you because I needed you." He told me sadly and looked at his cup. Tears started streaming down my face and I wiped at them frantically.

"Don't, please don't do that. The blame is mine. You once blamed the arancar but he wasn't to blame, and neither are you. It was my own fault that my baby died. I honestly intended to die you know. I didn't sense you or anyone near me, I thought I could start a fresh new life away from all the agony of the lost loved ones I had. I didn't think about the possibility of being pregnant because Renji and I were only together once. It didn't seem likely. And I didn't think of you because I thought you wouldn't care that much and that it would be better for you if I did die. I was so busy thinking of myself that I didn't think out the repercussions if I survived. I didn't know that there was another life depending on me for safety and protection. I am no different from Hisana, a terrible excuse for a mother that murdered her own baby!" I yelled into my hands as I covered my eyes and cried.

I crawled back under the cover of my futon and pulled it over my head. I didn't want him to see me cry and I didn't want to say something hurtful to him again. I sniffed and swallowed through my tight, sore throat. I heard him moving the tray and assumed that he was moving it to the door for the maid. I hoped he would leave but he came back and knelt on my bed. He tried to pull back the covers.

"Please leave me alone. I don't want you to see me cry. I am a terrible person and I deserve this." I said sorrowfully and tightened my hold on the covers over my head. He sighed and I felt his weight lift off of my futon. I trembled and waited for the sound of my door closing that never came.

A weight pressed down on me from behind me and an arm hugged my waist over the covers. I wiped my tears from under the covers and tried to dislodge myself from under his weight. It was comforting but it was also wrong and quiet alarming.

"What are you doing Byakuya? I know you are trying to help me but I told you that I would feel better if you left me alone for a while. Please leave. I'm sorry for being mean to you this morning and I'm sorry if I am being rude now, but please but give me the space I ask for?" I pleaded with him. He didn't move except for the stroking on my ribs that he was doing with his thumb.

"You shouldn't do this you know. Its not proper and you are only making me more dependant on you for comfort that you shouldn't give." I told him threateningly. His thumb stopped moving and his body stiffened from behind me. I waited for him to move away from me. When he didn't move an inch, I turned around to face him and pulled the covers away so I could face him. I knew my eyes were probably red and puffy as well as my nose but I couldn't care less. Knowing what was going through his mind was what was more important at the moment.

He looked into my eyes and countless thoughts passed through his eyes. We both knew I was right. We didn't have that kind of relationship and if we did it would cause nothing but trouble.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked me softly. That is what I have been telling him! Begging him! To please leave me alone! Angry tears filled my eyes and I pulled my arm out from under the covers and squeezed it under his arm and hugged him, pressing my face to his chest. I shivered violently. His arm dropped lower to embrace me properly. I took a trembling breath.

"No. Stay with me. Why are you so loving to me when you know that I have done something so horrible? You know this isn't right, right? You know that I am becoming too dependant on you?" I asked him through the tremors that raked through my body like blizzard winds. He hugged me more tightly.

"I am loving to you because that is all I can be to you. How can me comforting you when you need me be wrong? Depend on me all you want, I don't mind." He told me soothingly. I shivered and pulled my face up to meet his.

"You don't mean that. Or you don't know that that means." I told him sadly and he looked at me confidently.

"I do." He told me and I clenched the back on his kimono.

"There are ways that you can't be there for me. You know that." I told him, quickly calming out of my stricken state so that I could pay better attention to the elephant in the room. He hugged me tightly.

"I will try." He told me and I shook my head. I pulled my arm back from around him and touched his cheek gently. I closed my eyes and brought my lips to his in a real kiss. It was short, but it was a definite crossing of the boundaries, if we had any to begin with.

"I have done enough terrible, unforgivable things to last a lifetime, I don't want to ruin our relationship. I refuse to be with someone I am not one hundred percent sure that I am in love with again. I love you, so much. But I can't do to you what I did to Renji and I can't stand being like Hisana in any more ways that I already am. I refuse to hurt you in any way if I can help it, so please, don't make me need you in a way that you can't be there for me." I told him and tuned away from him pulling the covers back over my head and letting a new flood of tears fall from my eyes. I couldn't look at him right now. I feared what I would see in his face.

He didn't move. He stayed there holding me until I stopped crying, until the tremors stopped. I was beginning to believe that he had fallen asleep.

"B-Byakuya?" I whispered through my sore throat. I took his hand that was draped over me and stretched my neck to look back at him. He was staring at me caringly. I felt the heat flood my cheeks. I quickly turned back around.

"Yes?" He asked when it was clear that I wasn't going to say anything more. I inwardly panicked. I shouldn't have kissed him! Now things are even more awkward!

"I-I'm sorry about k-kissing you." I said silently and pulled my legs to my chest, squeezing his arm between them and my belly.

"It's alright, I didn't mind it. You may kiss me when we are alone." He told me and I looked up at him panicked. He must have sensed my sudden discomfort.

"I will not touch you inappropriately or kiss you unless you kiss me first." He told me and I shivered out of shock.

"Brother?" I asked clearly, intending for him to read between the lines. He narrowed his eyes at me and evaluated me.

"I can be your brother if that is what you need of me. I will always be your friend no matter what and I will be more to you if that is how things turn out." He told me silently. I looked at him and tears started filling my eyes again.

"Baka Byakuya, didn't you hear what I said earlier? Neither of us deserve a toxic relationship or a relationship where we aren't in love with a person. And, 'brother' what do you think the gossip will say?" I asked him challengingly. He sighed softly and leaned his face over and buried it in my hair.

"We aren't toxic to each other. And we are not biologically related, we are not related at all. I am not offering you anything you don't choose for yourself, as I said, if you want a brother then that is what I will be, but you should know that I have caught myself wishing that I had met you before Hisana. I respect your wishes as I too will only marry for love, but comforts such as holding you aren't against the law, are they?" He joked with me and I couldn't help scoffing to hide my laugh. Then I became serious.

"Still, I know what I want. I just don't want to make a mistake with you. You know there is something between Ichigo and I? I don't know where he is now or if he is even alive somewhere but I can't try to be close like that to you now only to decide to leave you later. Besides, I don't know if Ichigo would still be in love with me after he hears about Hisana and what I did to my baby." I told him sadly. He seemed to better understand me this time.

"I need to know if I still love Ichigo before I can try to love anyone else, I already made a mistake with Renji and the next person I am with I want to stay with. I…I don't know if what you mean to say is that you love me in a different way? I could try to open myself up to you but what if we don't fall in love with each other? What happens to our relationship with each other?" I asked him gently and he moved his head off of mine so I could look in his eyes.

"I understand Rukia. I just want you to be happy. But it wouldn't be fair to me either if you didn't give me a chance to try and win you over, still we have millennia to decide. And I will be here if you need me." He said caringly.

"Things don't need to change between us at all. We could go back to yesterday before all of this happened and I will try to keep my distance, but I can't promise to leave you be if I see you in pain." He told me before getting up and straightening his kimono. He smiled down at me and headed for my door.

"Rukia, if you still intend to leave for the gathering at the world of the living we should get ready." He told me and closed my door behind himself.

I stared at the door as if it were a snake for a while until I was sure that it wouldn't open again any time soon. I never should have asked him to stay. Or kissed him. Oh no, what have I done? I have never even thought about him that way before! And yet, he said that he would have preferred to have met me instead of Hisana? What am I supposed to make of that?

At least he didn't hold the kiss against me.


	14. Chapter 14

BYAKUYA

We walked to the Kurosaki residence in silence. Since we left the compound we never spoke a word to each other. My hands felt like anchors at my sides. I decided to forgive and forget about the kiss. And my confession. We could go on like it never happened and that would probably be for the best for the two of us. I felt a little bit disappointed but I couldn't help it. I would continue to be there for her if she needed me and hopefully she will become more open to the idea of giving me a chance in the future, or we will get over this phase and decide that it was best that we never pursued anything further with one another.

"Oh! We are so glad the two of you could make it! Come on in Rukia, captain Kuchiki!" Orihime gushed excitedly. The first place my eyes were drawn to were her abnormally large breasts that were just barely being covered by her low-neck maternity dress. And then to her large round belly. I looked at Rukia quickly out of the corner of my eye but she was smiling and looking into the room to see who had attended.

There was a table filled with dishes and serving utensils that we were told to help ourselves with. I was going to try something, if only to be polite when I saw the look of fear on Rukia's face.

"Is something the matter?" I asked her curiously. At least I was talking to her.

"You might not want to eat anything Orihime cooks. She is…dangerous when it comes to her taste in food. The last time we had a gathering like this we all had to be bedbound the entire day due to unfortunate stomach problems. The curry should be alright to eat though, Yuzu probably made it." She told me quietly.

"It's alright, I would rather have something to drink. I'm not going to risk my health and dignity on strange human foods that you aren't certain are safe for us to eat." I told her and walked over to the chilled beverages with her.

"Rukia! How have you been?! You look drop dead sexy as always!" Said a strange man who quickly hid behind the Mexican man called Chad.

"Oh, hi Kago and Chad. I'm fine I suppose, this is my brother Byakuya Kuchiki." She introduced me and found glasses for us. The two men walked outside where one started behaving like a lunatic.

"Brother, I don't know what you would want to drink? They have different soda's, beer and other alcohol. I could mix something for you if you want to try something different?" She offered kindly. It didn't escape me that she was deliberately calling me her brother. I felt a small stab of hurt, rejection was a touch pill to swallow.

"That would be nice, thank you Rukia." I told her and smiled at her in appreciation of her thoughtfulness. Her cheeks reddened and she walked behind the counter and poured different liquids together.

"I hope you like it, it is a guava, gin and tequila blend." She said and handed it to me.

"Rukia, here have a beer!" The man called Kago shouted and tried to swing his arm over her shoulder and hand her a cup of beer. She quickly avoided his grasp with practiced ease and stepped over him.

"Kago you idiot! Don't you remember what happened the last time she had alcohol?! I swear Ichigo and Renji will haunt you for even attempting to get her drunk again!" Said the quincy boy, Uryu. My eyes narrowed dangerously. Did something happen to Rukia the last time she drank?

"Shut up, you nit-picker! I wasn't that bad!" Rukia shouted at Uryu who pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Weren't that bad? You randomly started stripping! And what's worse is that you were sitting on my lap! I almost got killed because of you!" Uryu shouted back at her. My cheeks flamed in embarrassment and I made an awful choking sound in my throat. Rukia turned to look at me in horror.

"I swear it wasn't that bad! I only took off my jacket, Uryu is exaggerating!" She defended herself to me.

"Exaggerating? The only reason you woke up with at least a shirt on you was because Ichigo took his off and covered you! You don't even remember what happened that night do you?" He huffed out in exasperation. Rukia glowered at him and an evil gleam entered her eye.

"I remember you smooching Orihime behind the couch when you though we were too drunk to notice! Ichigo and I even took a photo!" Rukia snapped back at him and his face almost resembled Abarai's hair. He excused himself and went to check on Orihime in Ichigo's room. Rukia refused to look at me but nursed her can of soda like her life depended on it.

"It is alright, at least you had a good time with your friends, you don't regret it do you?" I asked her gently and she softened her gaze at the floor.

"No, I suppose not. I just didn't want you to hear about it, at least you didn't have to see that. I think that was the night we played a game called truth or dare, where you have to answer either truth or dare and comply with the request of the asker before it is your turn. If you didn't take the dare or want to answer a question you had to drink a shot glass of this really strong alcohol called vodka, naturally there were a few indecent dares and questions my way." She told me and sipped her drink.

We ended up sitting on the sofa with her other friends. They said they wanted to watch a video of everyone together, it ended up being a video of Kurosaki's twenty first birthday party where they had rented out some sort of club and set up a karaoke system and ordered obscene amounts of fast foods.

The video started off shyly when people sang their favourite songs, and then the atmosphere became more comfortable as they began loosening up. Honestly none of them could really sing. It was horrible to endure but everyone in the room enjoyed seeing Kurosaki and Abarai again, from a happier time. Rukia ha been seated on the floor, offering her seat beside me to Orihime when she decided to join the crowd.

Eventually after shifting uncomfortably for a while, I pulled her up onto my lap, where she sat across me and placed one of her arms around my shoulders. The video became more and more ridiculous as the time passed and the humans laughter heightened as well.

When the people were drunk they started singing duets and songs dedicated to people. Abarai sang a song called 'Uptown Girl' meant for a girl he admired, which we all knew was Rukia. Kurosaki sang a song called 'Heart to Heart' to the girl who held his heart. The room was a bit awkward as it was clear that he was singing directly to Rukia as she laughed merrily on the video. Eventually Rukia too was inhabited and sang a song in intoxication.

"God, no!" She yelled when the rest of the room burst out in hysterics. It only made me more curious. She tried to cover my ears with her hands but when gasped when she saw me looking at the television and tried to cover my eyes, I grinned evilly at her and restrained her.

"No! No! No! Please do not watch this!" She begged but it was too late. My mouth hung open and the room was oddly quiet. Rukia covered her face in humiliation and the other occupants were watching us in trepidation.

"So, sex and chains excite you Rukia?" I asked her carefully and playfully. The room burst out laughing at her indignation. She looked mortified! It was priceless. I noticed that she now straddled me from her attempts at hindering me. My face flushed and before anyone noticed I picked her up swiftly and sat her across me as she originally was. She seemed to understand the predicament and covered her mouth with the back of her hand in mortification

I continued watching the video where people humiliated themselves. Kurosaki and Abarai truly loved her to make such fools of themselves for her enjoyment. The video ended with a duet between Rukia and Kurosaki, singing about how they weren't meant to be together. By that time, we once again comfortably. She hugged me a little and leaned down so that she could rest her head on my shoulder.

When the video was over Orihime and Ishida announced that they were engaged. They said for the sake of the child they would marry to bring it up into a proper family. I myself was shocked. This girl had claimed to love Kurosaki so much, yet married another man only month's after her husband's death? I knew the situation was delicate and that she probably only wanted what was best for her child, but for me, a person who stayed in mourning for half a century over his lost love, I couldn't accept such a thing.

Rukia had dragged Uryu Ishida away to speak privately with him after she congratulated them. She said she had to talk to Chad, Orihime and Uryu before we left tonight for some reason. Once everyone else had left, the five of us took our seats at the sofa but Rukia sat opposite to me.

"Look, I have been spoken to by the captain general and now that things are as they should be, he wants us to close off our connection to the living. I know what you are going to say, and we will always be friends, but our worlds were never meant to mix. After everything that has happened until now you three should understand that better than anyone. This is for your own best interests, so that you and the next generation can live safer, more normal lives." She told them and my else widened. How long had she burdened herself with this knowledge? Why didn't she tell me?

"But Rukia, we'll miss you! And what about my baby shower? You have to come! Ichigo and I wanted to ask you to be out baby's godmother! Won't you be able to meet our baby once it is born?" Orihime asked Rukia with tears running down her face as Ishida tried to comfort her. Rukia looked saddened.

"It is because of Ichigo's abilities that he was dragged into the ground so early in his life, I refuse to let that happen to the rest of you and to his child. I promised I would come to your baby shower, I even bought your presents already, and I swear, nothing could keep me from meeting your baby. But it is for your baby's safety that I remove as much danger as possible from your world. Kisuke is creating a special concoction to nullify the effects of your own abilities. You won't see spirits or hollows anymore and they won't be drawn to you, you don't need to fight anymore. Please. Please just accept this. I am the captain of the thirteenth division now, I will personally make sure that this town is protected by my best officers." Rukia told them gently and took Orihime's hands in her own.

"You don't want to die like Ichigo's mother did, do you? What about your child? What if your baby was harmed or killed? You don't need to answer me now, none of you do. You worked so hard to develop your abilities, if you wish to keep them then that is up to you. But chad can't fight for Ichigo anymore. Uryu shouldn't fight anymore either, and teaching this child would be wrong as well. It will learn one day when it passes over to the spirit world. Orihime, your love and your kindness can heal more efficiently that even your powers. I know that you would all be fine living normal happy lives. It is what is supposed to be." Rukia said and sat up. I followed her and we walked to the door. Rukia turned around and smiled at them.

"Thank you so much for inviting us. Until tonight, I feared that my happy memories would only bring me sadness and pain, but now they bring me acceptance and resolve. I will see you in the coming weeks, good night." She told them and we walked out of the house. We walked for a while until we came back to the ice rink where I had seen her cry before. She sighed and took a seat, she rested her forehead against the seat in front of her.

"You didn't tell me anything about this development." I accused her and she looked up at me sadly.

"That is because I lied to them. Being around them all evening, watching them laugh and smile, cry and argue, our duty is to protect them. Isshin told me that he loved his son, but that Ichigo wasn't welcome to come back. It is human to grieve and overcome and that is impossible for them to do while we are a part of their lives. We weren't meant to live among each other, it is better this way. I will ask the captain general to consider my request and I will ask Kisuke if he can help me by creating an antidote of sorts to help them become regular humans again." She told me solemnly.

"Orihime was right when she accused me of being indirectly guilty of Ichigo's death, and I don't care what you try to tell me otherwise. Humans aren't supposed to do our jobs for us or with us. He lost his life because of his abilities and I won't let that happen to his child! I won't let anyone else I care for die. By doing this, I can save Ichigo's child from growing up the way he did, scared and confused and drowning in guilt that he didn't deserve. I failed my own child but I will protect his in this way if I can, as the only atonement I can think of." She told me sadly and even though I couldn't see her face, I could hear the soft splatters of her tears falling to the ground. My heart ached. She wasn't completely correct, but she was righter overall.

"I see. I understand. And I agree with you, you have my full support." I said to her and she nodded with her head down.

"Thank you. Can you go home ahead of me? I want to stay here for a while." She said silently. I walked closer to her and took a seat beside her and rubbed her back.

"Why won't you let me be a comfort to you? The support that you need? Why do you keep coming back here? Does this place make you sad, is that why you feel freer to release your emotions here?" I asked her when my curiosity and irritation of not being allowed to help her got the better of me.

"Its complicated. I've just had a really awful day and I want to let out the rest of my pain in privacy. Painful thoughts have been haranguing me since this morning. My mind feels so stressed, hurt, confused, and scared that I really do just need to be alone. I know you probably don't want to leave me, but I don't want to let my emotions get the better of me again." She said softly and I decided that perhaps I would leave her before we got into another disagreement.

"I will leave then if that is what you want, but it hurts me that you wont even try to talk to me. I understand you better than you believe I do." I told her and got up slowly. She caught my coat sleeve and tugged me back down again.

"Alright then. But my random troubling thoughts are bound to give you a headache." She said softly and looked up and me with sad, glistening eyes. I sat back down and turned towards her.

"Am I reflecting? I endangered my child's life. I didn't know it even existed before I lost it but what if the same thing happens to Orihime. I am so, so scared of losing anyone else! Especially Ichigo's child, how could I ever live with myself if I didn't take precautions to change its fate for the better? Am I doing the right thing for the right reasons?" She asked me and looked at me with a look of utter turmoil on her face before she bowed her head down to her knees.

"I believe so. Wanting what's best for others even if it helps yourself at the same time isn't selfish as you say it is. Also, Rukia, I know you are hurting and that you blame yourself but you must know that what happened to your child was simply fate. It wasn't anybody's fault. You did act recklessly but everyone does. You are only human, you can't be expected of perfection. Even entities such as myself are wrong at times, but in this matter, I am certain of the truth of my words." I told her and pulled her shoulder gently so that she would look at me.

"It still died because of my own actions! That doesn't change! I judged Hisana for murdering me before I could live but I am no different, what kind of a monster does that?" She sobbed and faced away from me. I kept telling her that it wasn't her fault but she just wouldn't believe me. I wasn't the best person to comfort another and whenever I try it ends up wrong somehow.

"That is true, but the child lives on in the world of the living. Are you grieving for the child or for yourself? The child may have passed on due to unfortunate circumstances, but maybe a couple who were really trying to start a family were blessed with it. You don't need to punish yourself for something that wasn't in your own power to control from the start. You and Hisana are not alike. You are loving to ever intend harm on and innocent defenceless soul. I think that maybe you are hurting yourself like this because you feel like you failed Abarai as well. I am sure that he understands, besides he must have known when he was in limbo and yet he still passed on without regret. Don't waste you tears on regret, you are too beautiful to weep so often." I told her and wiped away her tears with my thumbs.

"Byakuya. I…" She said and trailed off before taking a deep breath and standing up. She took my hand and pulled it so that I would stand up. Once we were out of the stadium she took my hand and ducked under my arm and hugged my waist with her other arm. The warm tingling feeling in my chest stirred again. I squeezed her hand and tightened my grip around her. We walked for a while through the parks in the neighbourhood before she decided that she was too tired to continue. I opened the Senkaimon for us and we walked on into our home.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Orihime said that a package arrived at their place for you earlier today. She said that Isshin was keeping it in storage until we came to collect in. Did you order something in the world of the living?" She asked me curiously, but barely consciously.

"No, I did not. I do not know what it is that she is speaking of. Perhaps we could stop by tomorrow morning to see what it is, that is if you are up for it. I could go alone if you would prefer to keep your distance. You still need to present your plan to the captain general." I told her and she nodded tiredly.

"I will go along with you, I don't feel like being alone anymore." She said tiredly. She walked to her room slowly and opened the door.

"Goodnight Byakuya, thank you for attending the gathering with me and for staying with me afterwards." She said sadly, but gratefully. I smiled at her and nodded shallowly.

"Goodnight Rukia." I said and after a moment I called her back before her door closed.

"For what it is worth, I know that when you do become a mother, you will be the very best there is, you don't need to worry about that." I told her and she smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, Byakuya. You too would make a caring parent." She told me and closed her door. I stood still at my door. Would I? What would make her think that? I am not wise nor do I know what it is in the world that I should strive for, I am also untrained as a family leader and captain. I need to learn much more before I even think of teaching the next generation. Perhaps it is best that neither of us had to worry about the upbringing of a child in the near future.

I lay down in my bed and absorbed the warmth I was developing. Laying beside her today made me miss how it felt to lay beside another. I oddly felt lonely in my own bed, curiously this reason could be why Rukia sleeps with her toys. I hugged my pillow beneath my head tightly before I fell asleep.

RUKIA

I woke up feeling refreshed and burden free. Byakuya's words had touched me, and hopefully my child is going to live a better more advantageous life. All I could do was accept it and move forward. When I do have a child in the future, I will be the best mother I can be for it.

I walked into the dining room with a happy smile. Byakuya gaped at my sudden change of attitude. I grinned sheepishly at him and shrugged my shoulders. After a moment he smiled as well. The maids brought in our food and stared gapingly at their masters, smiling like idiots for no reason. One even had the nerve to ask after our health, and I knew it didn't help my cause but I burst out laughing. Byakuya dismissed the maids and tried to maintain a stoic facial expression but his eyebrows and lips twitched irritatingly often. I was tempted to jump over and rub away the twitches but I thought it would be better not to touch him anymore than is appropriate.

"Any what has you in such a radiant mood this morning? I'm not complaining but the servants might." He joked with me. I licked my licks and tried to hide another grin.

"Who knows? Maybe I'm making up for yesterdays sadness by being abnormally happy today. I can't help it though, I just feel relieved and freer, I don't understand why really." I told him and he frowned. My fingers twitched to stroke the frown away. It wasn't a romantic or attraction that made me want to fix his expression, but he was too young to look so…old.

"Oh! Do you remember that competition I entered at the Obon festival? Well, I won! But the prize is completely wasted on me because it was under some of my paperwork and I didn't even see it until a few days ago. The vacation is long past the date." I told him and sighed. He shook his head at my lack of organise, as if his office is any better!

"Rukia, we can go on a vacation whenever we want to, wherever we want. It is unnecessary to whine over something so small? And if your office was as tidy as mine is, then you wouldn't have this problem." He said in a taunting way. I glared at him. He didn't even notice what I was holding my hair up with. His red hair string was difficult not to notice.

"Oh please! The last time I walked into your office there was an avalanche of paperwork everywhere! And it just feels more exciting to have won something. It makes it more special. Sure, we could pay for it ourselves without an issue but its not really a reward then, is it?" I pouted sadly at the sad truth.

"Well if I pay for it, it is still a treat to you is it not? I actually want to leave for a few days in February. Valentines day is always traumatic for me. Yoruichi cannot help but invent new ways to torture me each year with embarrassing gifts. Last year she sent me woman's underwear covered in catnip! Abarai's racket alerted my entire squad! I barely had enough time to burn it to ashes before anyone else saw it." He said more dramatically that Byakuya usually would. I couldn't help but laugh at how much of a prude he was. She kept targeting him because she knew how he would react.

"Perhaps if you weren't such an easy target she would leave you alone, besides she only does it because she wants to show her affection towards you. She spends more time worrying over you that about her own baby brother." I told him and he looked irate.

"So, what time is appropriate to leave for the world of the living?" He asked me, changing the subject away from his discomfort zone.

"We can go any time you are ready, but you know me, once I am there I will probably want to look around a bit. It's just so different to our world that I can't help but be drawn to all of the strange and fantastic things around them. I should probably look for a few gifts as well. It's Kisuke and Yoruichi's birthdays soon and I should get them something nice, after all whenever I need help I burden them with my problems." I told him and he looked thoughtful.

"We could do that. What did you have in mind?" He asked me curiously. I watched him watch me as I took a sip from my glass.

"Your birthday is also coming up so I want to look for something for you. I just don't know what you would like though. I was thinking of getting Kisuke and Yoruichi something from a jewellery store, and if I can't find something I like I might take longer browsing their online brochure. I know that they are really close so I wanted to get them something matching like this jade thing that Ichigo bought for me." I told him and his eyes darted to the ring.

"I know you care for me and that is enough, you do not need to get me a gift. Was that a gift from Kurosaki?" He asked me gesturing to the ring I wore with my wedding ring on my left middle finger.

"Sort of. You see a years ago we were window shopping and saw these two jade rings through the window, they are friendship rings and we would have gotten them but they were really expensive. Ichigo must have saved up for over a year to afford them, and he never got to give it to me. It was one of the things Isshin gave me of his. That cheesy idiot even engraved the ring." I told him and took it off my finger and offered it to him to inspect. He looked saddened but handed the ring back to me.

"Usually friendship rings or promise rings have things like, 'together forever' engraved inside them but he changed it to 'we will never be apart', probably because one way or another we would always end up saying goodbye, at least the ring would serve as a connection between us when we were apart. I even store spiritual pressure inside on mine in case I am ever in a battle that goes wrong." I told him and a thought came to me. Perhaps I could get him a ring for a similar purpose.

"And birthday presents are only the beginning, the women's association has decided to gift small Christmas presents to all of our officers as a sort of appreciation gift for their hard work." I told him exasperatedly. He smiled if only a little but went back to eating his food. He seemed sort of depressed for some reason.

"Well, I suppose we should leave after our meal then." He said softly. I nodded in agreement.

"I will just need a moment to dress my gigai." I told him and we finished our breakfast.

I decided to wear a simple white open back, V-neck dress that ended a few inches above my knees, and a pair of white flops. I plated my hair from the base of my neck till my midback and used a blue butterfly elastic to tie it. I even took a moment to paint my toenails and fingernails a pale shiny pink. I decided to use a small touch of makeup, only a tiny bit of black eyeliners and mascara with a small amount of silver shadow and strawberry lip-gloss. I looked myself over and walked to the family Senkaimon.

I smiled at Byakuya as I approached him, he was getting better and more daring with his clothes. He wore boardshorts and a wifebeater shirt with his sneakers.

"Hey, look at you! You are really starting to rock the clothes from the world of the living." I teased him lightly. His cheeks flushed and he looked away. He placed his hand on my back leading me through the Senkaimon and his eyes widened and looked to where his hand met my skin.

"Don't you love this dress!?" I asked him excitedly as I skipped along the sidewalk in front of him.

"It is to revealing! It is hardly appropriate to wear so little in public." He reprimanded me and I smirked mischievously at him.

"Oh, but I am not the one drawing attention to my looks. I have spotted a number of both men and woman ogling you. I am actually very proud of you for flaunting your masculinity. Not even Ichigo or Renji could wear a shirt that well." I teased him and walked up to the Kurosaki's front door and rang the bell. Byakuya looked uncomfortable being the attention of so many eyes. I was starting to feel bad for him.

"Rukia! My adorable third daughter, how I have missed your cuteness! How many men do I need to beat to a pulp this morning for harassing you?" He asked me playfully and I pointed to Byakuya over my shoulder.

"Just that one." Isshin burst out laughing at Byakuya's expense and Byakuya looked scandalised. I smiled at him teasingly and stuck my tongue out at him. The look he sent me promised revenge.

"Actually, Orihime told he that you received a package for my brother? We came to collect whatever it is, though neither of us ordered anything." I told him and he nodded put his hand on my back and led me inside the house. Byakuya's eyes narrowed dangerously at the hand.

"Here it is, the latest karaoke system set. I this it was supposed to me a prize for something?" Isshin asked me and I gaped in shock.

"Oh my god, you actually won?!" I all but screeched at Byakuya who looked at the box in horror.

"We entered a karaoke competition at the festival and we both sang. Byakuya was awesome, but I didn't think either of us would win, my guess is that the lady fans voted a few extra times." I teased him and his neck and ears flushed.

"No way, Byakuya Kuchiki singing like a bird?" Isshin joked and Byakuya looked away disinterestedly.

"Listed to this!" I said and took out my phone. Orihime had recorded Byakuya singing that day and sent the video to me. I would have recorded it myself but I was in utter shock at the time. Byakuya's eyes widened and he gaped at the phone and then at me. He could be heard singing and cheers erupted at the end of the video.

"Delete it at once!" he demanded and strode up towards me. I quickly protected the phone and slipped it back into its safety pocket.

"No. Besides Orihime took the video and sent it to me. I want to remember the fun we had, it was one of the rare moments where you let yourself be happy. I am keeping it." I told him stubbornly and he looked absolutely furious. Panic fled up my spine.

"I won't delete it but if you are insistent on it being hidden, I will keep it for my eyes only, how does that sound?" I asked him gently. His face softened a little but he still looked extremely annoyed.

"I don't want anyone other than you to see me like that. At home it would be considered an absolute shame and embarrassment!" He told me agitatedly. My smile dropped and I looked at the ground.

"I won't show anyone, I promise." I told him and we bid farewell to Isshin. After returning home to drop off our prize and Byakuya quickly collected a jacket, we went back to the mall district. I was hesitant to touch him now but after some contemplation I reached out for his hand.

We looked at a few of the more common jewellery stores before we moved to the more expensive ones. I didn't really want to look for a gift for Byakuya with him right behind me looking over my shoulder so I was relieved when he drifted off to look at different items in the rather large gallery of jewellery.

After a while of looking I found a nice gift for Kisuke and Yoruichi, it was a pair of friendship ankle bracelets with the infinity symbol. Kisuke would like his and so your Yoruichi and she could even wear hers as a collar in her cat form as they were adjustable. I decided that a ring or bracelet would be too flashy for Byakuya and that he wouldn't enjoy advertising an item to the public eye. Watches weren't really a thing in our world and they also stood out too much. I thought about a hair ornament perhaps but he wouldn't wear it. Eventually my eye caught a few long chains and necklace pendants.

A pretty silver-grey stone caught my eye. It looked like a storm cloud and like his eyes. It was pretty but there was nothing absolutely special about it. I sighed sadly and looked around the second level of the gallery. Here they displayed raw stones as well as finished products. I thought about getting him earrings but I didn't like the thought of him with piercings, just the thought seemed to ruin him.

Something else stood out to me but it was covered by other items. I stepped closer to inspect it more closely. It was a feather about the size of my pinkie finger. Not a real feather of course but it was beautifully crafted in pure silver with gold emboldening. It looked delicate and intricate. I thought about getting it for him because be could use it as a pendent on a necklace. I called a second floor attended over towards me and asked her if she could open the display case for me to better inspect the piece. It was quite heavy for a feather!

"Miss, if you buy the pendant you can take one of these items here as a bonded gift." She told me and gestured to a large table behind me.

"Thank you, but the person I am shopping for is extremely difficult to please, I don't think any of these really stand out to me. I need to get him something that he can wear but not draw attention to himself with it." I told her sadly. She looked sad and nodded. I left the feather for the time being and continued to search the gallery.

I walked into their Kings collection of their most expensive items. Expensive didn't have to mean the best though and I was beginning to understand why none of the ever sold. It wasn't the price but rather the aesthetic that put off buyers. Out of curiosity I looked at their blue diamond pieces. Those were admittedly beautiful but none of them would suit him. I walked to the pink diamond collection and browsed their pieces. There was a single sakura petal, beautifully crafted laying on a clasp. I smiled and ideas started popping into my mind. I called another attendant over and asked him if it would be possible to remove the clasp off of this petal and add it to a different piece. He said they were able to do it but it would be extremely costly and that I would still need to buy both pieces.

He took out the petal pendant the size of a finger nail and walked with me to take out the feather. I told him that I would like the petal carefully embodied into the centre of the feather. I quickly finished up my business with the jeweller and went back to the bracelets I had chosen for our friends. I brought them over to where Byakuya was standing looking at some elaborate ornaments.

"What do you think of these? The symbol symbolises eternity and I thought that it was something they would wear, as and ankle bracelet or a collar in Yoruichi's case." I told him and he looked them over.

"They are nice, it is very thoughtful of you." He said sincerely but something in his voice just sounded sad.

"Hey what's wrong? You seem really put out today. What is bothering you?" I asked him and put my hand on his back. He sighed and looked like he didn't know how to voice what was troubling him. I caught a brief glance towards my rings. Was he upset about that somehow? I couldn't think of why it would bother him so much. I ducked under his arm and hugged his waist comfortingly.

"Ah, young love! Are you two love birds looking for engagement rings by any chance? We have quiet the array in our collection, I am sure that you will find something to your tastes!" He man boasted smugly. I inwardly cringed. I though about telling him that Byakuya was my brother, but I felt that it was unwise seeing how upset he already was.

"That's okay, thanks. We already found what we were looking for." I told him kindly. He looked really put out about not having anyone to boast about his gallery to. We walked out the gallery and towards the less populated part of the mall where we would be able to open the Senkaimon.

"Byakuya? Are you alright?" I asked carefully. After so long of him keeping quiet and not answering me I thought that he wouldn't answer me.

"I suppose that I am lonely." He told me silently when we reached our world. I felt terrible. How could he feel lonely when I was with him? Perhaps I didn't appreciate him as much as I should have. I couldn't offer to help him because I felt that perhaps it was a deeper loneliness that he felt that I couldn't help him with.

"I'm sorry." I ended up telling him. I wasn't sure why I said it but I didn't know what else to say. I really felt useless not being able to help him. He squeezed my shoulder and headed for his room.

In a few days I was supposed to go to the soul reaper academy. It was part of our jobs to encourage the new recruits and this time it was my turn to go. I was quiet the celebrity there. I was called the Rukongai princess. The girl from the slums who was adopted by the highest of the nobility. Some were awed by me, and others loathed me.

Not many people from the Rukongai respected the nobility, after all how was it fair for them to have it all while others had to suffer and fight for survival? They disliked me because of that and also because Byakuya used his influence to graduate me immediately after he adopted me. I didn't earn my graduation in their eyes, and even now they would assume that my position of captain was given to me because of the Kuchiki family.

Honestly, I wanted to ask Byakuya if he could go with me but I didn't want it to look like I was hiding behind him, or worse, make them think that all the rumours were true. I didn't want him to hear what they said either and if I was unable to help him, I had no right to ask for his help.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. It has been a long time since I was last at the academy, not many people I knew back then should be there now. They either graduated, dropped out or were killed during training.

I changed into my soul reaper clothing, lastly wearing my haori and family scarf. I decided that it was time to talk to captain general Shunsui about my plans regarding my friends from the world of the living.

With my task at hand I left the compound and headed for the first division.


	15. Chapter 15

BYAKUYA

I don't know when it was that I started thinking of Rukia as a possible love interest in my life but now thinking about her being close to anyone else as she is with Kurosaki deeply saddens me. To never be parted? That was what I wanted. I couldn't let my feelings get in the way of our relationship, especially since I wasn't sure how I felt. I have possessive and I felt immensely jealous that she wore something from both Renji and Kurosaki but not something of mine. The scarf doesn't count.

She looked sad when I left her. I knew she understood what I had meant, I also knew that should couldn't be there for me in that way anymore than I could be there for her. Just testing those boundaries were dangerous, and now that those boundaries were established I felt like I missed her openness greatly.

To me none of the jewels in the world of the living seemed all that wonderful. What we had in this world was far grander. Many of this worlds treasures lay in the Kuchiki treasury. I thought about looking through them and finding something for her that she would like but those items belonged to the family and yet to no one. I couldn't rightly take any of them.

What's worse is that my change of heart has reflected in my behaviour. My subordinates and colleagues know that I try to remain close to her. And they must at least suspect my attraction to her. She makes me act differently whether I want to or not and the worst part is that my public image is suffering. I shouldn't smile in public or act as she does, but I can't tell her that and I can't keep away from her either.

I sighed in defeat. At least Kurosaki hasn't shown himself yet, if I am lucky perhaps Rukia will start to see me in a different light and prefer me to him. Her day at the soul reaper academy should be near and as neither of us have a lieutenant I requested for us to share both of our academy attendance days. A captain visited the academy one day of the month during the year, it works out well as the captain general had to stay at work and there were exactly twelve of us to take months according to our division. Since it is December it is now Rukia's turn.

I tried to lift my spirits for her sake before I saw her again for our evening dinner. I knew that she left the compound some time ago, heading towards the offices. I could return to work myself if I wanted to but I didn't feel in the mood and though Rukia may have forgotten, I still had a meeting with the elders later before dinner. Hopefully they didn't down my spirits further before I saw her. They would have much to say on the matter of the usage of one of the families sacred tools, the time gate, as well as the scarf. I too had noticed the looks Rukia had received from the rest of the family and it greatly concerned me.

I decided to take the rare moment of peace to relax. I walked into my private gardens and admired the pond and blossoming flora. The little koi we brought home from the Obon festival seemed right at home around its elders. The other fish greatly outsized it but it didn't seem to mind being the small fry among the greater fish. Perhaps it knew that it was special.

I sat down between the roots of the sakura tree and leaned my head back onto its smooth bark. All my troubled thoughts fled me and I found myself drifting in and out of consciousness. With the heat of the sun comfortingly pulling me to sleep.

A hand touched my head gently and stroked me soothingly. I could tell from the spiritual pressure that it was Rukia. I felt a bit better now but some longing still remained. I sighed softly.

"You are putting me to sleep…Rukia." I mumbled softly and she gasped in surprise.

"How did you know that it was me?" she asked curiously. I pressed my head against the tree bark to regain some levity.

"Apart from your spiritual pressure, the gentleness of your hands and the fact that you are the only person alive who would dare to touch me gave you away." I told her tiredly. I couldn't open my eyes, I felt too lax. I felt the grass before me shift and something soft fall into my lap before I felt her lay her head down in my lap. I opened my eyes only in time to watch her close her own.

"Hmm." She sighed contently and my hand of its own volition reached out to stroke her head.

"You thought that I forgot about the meeting with the elders didn't you." She stated as a matter of fact. I sighed and brushed my fingers through her long hair mesmerising, watching them shine and fall like soft satin.

"I did." I told her and pet her head softly. She reached up and placed her hand over my own.

"Cell phones are also useful in the way that they can set reminders. Honestly I did almost forget but before my phone reminder reminded me I remembered after my meeting with the captain general." She told me softly and moved her hand to grasp the material of my hakama.

"You had a meeting? About the world of the living?" I asked her attentively. She nodded tiredly and released the cloth to trace patterns on my leg.

"Yes. As I thought, he agreed with me. He said that since it was a work-related request that he would ask Kisuke for me. I know I did the right thing." She told me softly but a small amount of doubt laced her words.

"You did. Come, before we fall asleep like this we should go and get ready for our meeting. Remember, listen to what they have to say but don't act out no matter how harsh they may seem." I told her and she grumbled as she sat up from my lap. I got up groggily and lend her a hand to get up. She took it but swung it around childishly before pulling me with all her weight to get up. I almost stumbled forward. So, that's how it is hey? I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder.

She bickered with me in protest and in reply I jumped up a little to jar her in my hold. Serves her right for pulling her tongue out at me this morning. I set her down outside of my room and smacked her behind as she had done to me before. I quickly closed my door and laughed as she gasped indignantly.

We met later in the hall, both dressed formally. My kenseikan pulled my hair painfully and weighed down on my head heavily yet I held my head high under the pressure. She held the scarf in front of herself timidly.

"Are you sure that it is alright for me to wear it there? We will both get an earful...only you will get the brunt of it. I don't like the fact that we can't speak back!" She shouted angrily. I sighed and received the scarf from her hands to wrap it around her neck, where is belonged.

"You may have misunderstood why it is that I never spoke up, Rukia. It is out of respect; however, they are below me, below you, we do not need to speak back to them. They advise, but they hold no power. Their insults do harm me but I can't afford to let them hurt me visibly. I have you as a comfort for my heart, I can take their verbal lashings, but know that if there is violence within the clan we will be forced to kill any rebels on principal. Even if it seems wrong, that is how our high clans have survived since the beginning of time itself. For instance, if one of them challenge either you or I, it is our responsibility to illuminate the threat, there is no second chances." I told her sternly.

"Even children?" She asked me sadly. I softened my gaze towards her and put my arm around her shoulders as we walked to the meeting hall.

"Everyone is someone's child, Rukia. Do not forget how our family works. We aren't like human souls, to maintain our legacy we have to act accordingly. If I tried to avenge my parents do you think my grandfather would have let me live? You met him, you know that he was truly kind. But our duty is our duty. I only hope that I will never be responsible for our own children's demise, that is why neither of us should have children until we are wiser." I said and she nodded in understanding.

We entered the meeting room and all eyes in the room immediately turned to Rukia. She refused to look down as she wished to because it would shame me, and I knew that I couldn't comfort her with so many eyes watching us. We took seats beside each other and that was the only comfort we would have until the meeting was over.

"With all respect Lord Kuchiki, why is miss Rukia attending a private family meeting?" One of my great uncles asked me directly with barely hidden venom in his voice.

"You forget your place, elder. You will address her as Miss Kuchiki or Lady Kuchiki and nothing else. Rukia will from this day forward attend all of our meetings if she is able. It is a benefit to her for when one day we too become elders." I told them all coldly.

There was a murmur around the room as the elders spoke among themselves. Rukia carefully evaluated each of their facial expressions as I did. As expected my decision was looked down upon by the family.

"Lord Kuchiki, we are here today to let you know that you have further shamed our family and have endangered our entire clan by revealing the Origin Mirror! Your grandfather would never have condoned such actions! We have decided to school one of your cousins in the rule of becoming the new head of the family, you are not doing your duty!" Another of the elders spoke up. I could barely feel Rukia's spiritual pressure fluctuate in supressed rage. I too was enraged though I cannot show it.

"Is that what you believe? And who among you have come to such a decision?" I asked calmly. There was a murmur among the elders before a woman among them spoke up.

"It was a group decision, Lord Byakuya." She said respectfully and fearfully.

"You should know that this Obon festival I called upon Ginrei Kuchiki and he responded to me." I told them confidently. They all gasped in horror and surprise.

"Know your place! You decided that you will remove me from my thrown? You do not make decisions, you advise and I rule for a reason, my actions have all been just and correct, grandfather approves all of my decisions, every single one. However, your behaviour warrants punishment." I commanded in cold fury. I shut the doors to the out side with my spiritual pressure, and drew my zanpakuto.

"Speak, who is it among you who have attempted to betray me? Who is it that you have decided to take my place? Answer fully and truthfully or else I shall paint this room with your blood and your screams!" I ordered them all and they all bowed lowly on the ground beneath me.

"Please Lord Kuchiki, forgive us! We have begun grooming your sixth cousin for your succession! And only I and my three brothers had anything to do with it!" He answered and I cast a spell on the room to seek out any withheld information. When I was sure that the truth was before me I walked forward. I could hear Rukia gasp from behind me. I called in a servant and ordered her to bring this sixth cousin of mine to me. I knew he was millennia older than me but that didn't give him the right to reach for power, it was against our law!

After a few moments this mysterious sixth cousin of mine stepped through the doors. He didn't bow, or show me respect as way tradition. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You sent for me?" He addressed me casually. I felt a nerve twitch in anger on my forehead.

"Those who had nothing to do with the betrayal will leave." I ordered them all and locked down the room with my Kido. When the five of them were before me I drew my sword into a killing stance.

"I will give you the opportunity to fight for your life, as if custom. If you kill me, you can become the twenty ninth head of the Kuchiki clan, however if you fail or choose not to fight I will cut you down where you stand." I spoke to this cousin of mine whose eyes didn't meet mine but instead met Rukia's. I was tempted to turn towards her but I knew better that to turn my back on my enemies. I changed my stance and stood in front of her.

"Answer me now before you lose the opportunity to speak." I ordered him and let my spiritual pressure crush down upon us. He looked winded but he stood firm and put a hand to the hilt of his zanpakuto.

"Unlike you I am a true Kuchiki, boy! I will fight you and wipe your stain from the family's good name!" He growled out at me. I placed a binding spell on the four elders.

"Meet me in on Souyoku hill in exactly five minutes. Say your farewells to your family." I told him and turned to the door behind me and gestured for Rukia to follow me. She was incredibly quiet. I almost regretted bringing her, but she had to understand the seriousness of their transgressions.

"Are you really going to kill them?" She asked me softly.

"Yes. I know you don't understand and you must think that I am an unforgivable person. But this is how the rotten apples are cut from the family tree to avoid corruption and the over use of power in the clan. Our clan is incredibly powerful in many ways that no one knows of, not even the majority of our own. This is the first time in my life that I have been pushed to such extremes. I have never had to deal with disobedience before, even if I had to watch grandfather carry it out on a number of occasions." I told her and my blood ran with fear and adrenalin.

"I have willed you to be my successor if I do die, you should know that." I told her quietly and she gasped in horror.

"He isn't stronger than you are, he can't possibly defeat you why are you telling me this!?" She choked and held her hands over her mouth in fear.

"I don't intend to lose. But battle for one's life is often where fowl play interferes." I told her. Minutes were passing and I needed to flash step to the meeting point.

"Wait here for me. If I don't return you must kill him no matter the cost." I told her and flash stepped away before she could try to pull me back towards herself.

I stood on Souyoku hill and waited for his arrival. In barely a minute he appeared in front of me and drew his zanpakuto.

"Farewell, young master!" He said and released his zanpakuto. I never intended to use my shikai but his sword had disappeared into this air. At least that was what I thought until vines of thorns short out from the ground and pierced my flesh. They wrapped slowly around my legs and arms, hacking away my flesh painfully.

"Scatter." I said clearly and my blade dissolved into petals and cut away my cousins' life, and with it his zanpakuto retreated. I held my breath in pain and walked over to his body, agonisingly and picked up his collar and flash stepped back to the meeting hall. Rukia, sensing my presence flashed to my side. I ignored her words of worry and threw the corpse of my cousin before the four men who trembled in fear.

"Your fate has been decided." I told them and the bowed and cowered before me begging for their lives.

"I will do what must be done." I told them and killed them one by one. Rukia gasped behind me as rivet after rivet of red streams painted the walls in morbid splatters of horror.

Once the task was completed I called forth two servants and ordered one to call captain Isane immediately, and the other I asked to collect the man servants and tell them to clean u the mess left behind and to carry the corpses to the moratory on the compound.

Rukia was frozen in shock I walked past her in agony and limped to my room. I closed the door behind myself and slid down the wall. I coughed and gasped for breath. Now without eyes on me I was able to express my pain. I could taste bile in the back of my throat and shook with the force it took not to regurgitate my empty stomachs contents.

I scarcely heard my door slide open behind me but knowing it wasn't a threat I didn't bother turning my back.

RUKIA

Did he know that this would happen? I was frozen in terror. I knew better than to interfere with family affairs but I didn't know what was happening around me anymore! He knew that there was a possibility of him dying and the just left me. Just like that.

When he returned I was so relieved! I never knew I would be so happy just by knowing that he was there. I flashed to him and saw him carrying the body of his relative. I gasped in horror. He was bleeding profusely! His injuries were severe yet he showed no pain, he didn't tremble or stutter.

"Byakuya! Please let me heal you!?" I begged him but he looked straight ahead and coldly threw the body he had been holding before the elder's eyes. I gasped and barely restrained a cry as a flood of his own blood sprayed the floor beneath us.

"Byakuya, please you need medical attention!" I begged through my tears. I gasped in horror as the four elders begged for his mercy, and he showed none. Blood splattered to the ground in sickening wet laps as if it were the waves of the ocean hitting the bluffs. The walls were stained with blood that ominously dripped down in tears.

When Byakuya finally turned to face me and call in the maids my mind had gone blank. When they left he sucked in a strangled breath and limped towards his room. My mind slowly woke up and I ran towards his room as fast as I could and slid open the door. He lay in a heap on the floor against his wall. He was having difficulty breathing. I quickly bent down to lift his head up so that he could breath easier but the terrified look on his face tore at my heart. His face was wet with tears and perspiration and he moaned in agony. His eyes were frantic and fearful and he panted in agony. Another cough hit him and his body trembled like a leaf.

I launched myself onto him and held his head over my shoulder.

"Its okay, you're going to be okay! Isane should be here soon!" I cried and hiccupped. I hugged him to me as much as I could without hurting him and tried to brush his hair with my fingers but the kenseikan got in the way after a moment he shakenly removed them and they thundered through the room as her dropped them. They were that heavy?!

I pulled his face towards myself and kissed both of his wet cheeks. He was too traumatised to notice though and I caressed his face gently and stroked his head until Isane came rushing into the room. She gasped at the blood pooling around him. She had two of her medics lift him onto the stretcher that they were advised to bring and flashed out of his room to the fourth division. I called in a maid to clean up his room and the passage from his blood. I picked up his zanpakuto and brought it to my room where I cleaned it for him. It was all I could do really. By the time the maids were finished cleaning the hall and his room I flash stepped to the fourth division.

Hanataro showed me to the private room Byakuya was resting in and left when captain Isane dismissed him.

"Captain Kuchiki is still in a critical state. His physical injuries were only just barely healed and I can not complete the healing procedure until I have regained more of my energy. He is lucky to be alive honestly, all of his arteries were severed and his heart was barely getting enough blood to beat. He must have stayed alive out of his will alone." She told me and a strangled cry left my throat before I could restrain it.

"Rukia, with injuries as server as this, could you tell me what caused it?" She asked me hesitantly. I bit my lip and wiped at my eyes before sitting on the foot of his bed.

"I'm sorry I cannot say, it is private Kuchiki business." I told her and she nodded in understanding.

"Alright. Will you be staying with him through the night or should I station one of my officers here for supervision?" She asked me softly.

"I will stay here with him. Please let me know when I can take him home?" I asked her sadly and she nodded and squeezed my shoulder before leaving. I couldn't hold back my tears once I was sure that I was alone. How could he do this? I almost lost another person I care about! The only person I have left!

I shifted closer towards him and looked at his pale face. I picked up his hand and lay it on my lap as I squeezed it and stroked it to comfort myself. I knew he did what he had to do, if the fear in his eyes was anything to go by, doing what he had done had terrified him as much as it did me. I gently touched the red and inflamed freshly healed skin on his arm, it even felt warm to the touch.

Honestly, I was just thankful for him being alive at the moment, but the events that had just passed shook me. He just killed five family members. I understood that he did what he thought was correct. And the more I thought about it I couldn't say that he had done the wrong thing. He had done the right thing for the family now and for the future. The elders are the educators of the clan, and if they were left to over power the rightful ruler the clan and all that it protects would be thrown into chaos. In a way I now feared Byakuya. The way he killed those people, the look he had in his eyes was the same look he had when I was going to be executed. He though he did the right thing I couldn't help but fear him.

Was it that easy for him to take lives. I understood the weight that the head of the family carried on his shoulders but why did it have to be him? If another Kuchiki could be taught to become the next ruler, shouldn't he let them be? A knock at the door brought my attention back to reality, I looked at Byakuya's deathly pale face and slowly rested his arm back where it was before I opened the door and let Isane come to heal him some more. When she was done she said that Kiyone, my friend and her younger sister as well as Hanataro would heal him and help me escort him home.

They said that he should wake up in a few hours but that he should spend a few days in the house recuperating. I nodded and thanked them for their help. I carefully tucked him in his futon and went to my room to change into my nightwear and pick up my iPod and Byabunny. I would sleep in his room tonight to watch over him.

I blew out the candles and slid the door to the gardens closed for the night. I placed spells on his room to alert me of any intruders, though it was unlikely one couldn't help but make sure.

I settled into the futon next to him and kissed his forehead gently. I slid back over to my side of his bed and held my Byabunny close to my face. I let silent tears of confusion and relief run down my face. I sniffed softly and pressed my face into its belly before dozing off.

I woke up hours later because of the stirring of the other occupant. I pulled the rabbit into my lap and scooted over towards Byakuya. I picked up his hand and stroked it soothingly, waiting for him to open his eyes. I quickly wiped at my face trying to get rid of any tearstains that might have given away how sad I was.

Slowly his eyes opened and I reached over for a glass of water that sat beside him. He sat up slowly and groggily and accepted the glass. He took a few slow sips and sat it beside himself before climbing back under his covers.

"You stayed here with me?" He asked disbelievingly. I felt tears prickle my eyes.

"Did you think I wouldn't? Baka Byakuya! What happened to you for you to return in that state? Do you know how close you were to death!? If Isane hadn't acted immediately you would have died!" I whispered harshly at him.

"I killed five of the family today. Just as grandfather had. Do you think that I did the right thing? Do you hate me?" He asked emotionlessly. I could tell that he was using his mask of indifference on me as well, only I could see through it perfectly well. What he was asking me was, am I afraid of him? Will I leave him? Do I judge him for being so quick to kill five people?

"I could never hate you. I know that you did what you had to do, I had time to think about it and accept it, I just wish you would have let me stay with you! If I had stayed with you, you wouldn't have gotten so hurt." I sobbed out and wiped at my eyes. I didn't answer any of his real questions though.

"Byakuya, you frightened me tonight." I told him honestly and he stiffened but held onto my leg tightly with the hand I had been holding.

"You looked at them just as you had looked at me when I was supposed to be executed on Souyoku hill. I know better than to believe that you were truly as uncaring as you looked but seeing what happened to them reminded me of what could have happened to me. Would you really have killed me back then? Would you be able to kill me like that now? I know I disobey you a lot and speak out and rebel sometimes but I don't want to ever die by your hand." I told him and cried into my sleeve. Tears rolled over his temples.

"No. I would have hated you back then for betraying me but I don't think I would have truly killed you. If something happened now…it would depend on the offence. Unless you did something that was truly unforgivable, I could never harm you. If you did however do something worthy of the ultimate punishment, I would try to kill you quickly and painlessly. I would take a wife, conceive an heir and then end my own life." He told me honestly. My blood froze. He would really kill me?

"At least that is what I would like to say. I can't kill you Rukia. Or I won't. But I would never trust you again and I would most likely banish you from the clan. And ultimately that would do more harm to myself than to you. I just pray that a day never comes where you will betray me or leave me. Do you really still fear me now?" He asked me softly and reached his hand up slowly to hold my cheek, giving me time to refuse his intimacy. I looked into his eyes and nodded. I saw utter despair fill his eyes before he closed them.

"I am scared that you will be stupid and reckless and get yourself killed! Do you have any idea how important you are to me? I can live without the clan and the power just fine, but do you think I can handle losing you? Do you know how terrified I am of you dying? And what is your brilliant idea by willing me to be your successor? I will have to marry a Kuchiki to try and keep your line going and I would be miserable with one of them! At what are the chances of bring you specifically back that way? Oh no, if you even think of dying I swear I will make you suffer!" I promised him and glared hard into his amused eyes.

"I just didn't want the clan to fall into corruption and believed it would be safe in your hands. You wouldn't have to marry into the family or birth and heir, you would however be responsible for the training of the next in line by my next of kin. Though I am flattered that you would go through all of that just to try and reincarnate me." He joked and I gasped in horror and hit his arm hard.

"You jerk! I spend hours crying over you and you have the nerve to make fun of me? I'm leaving, goodbye!" I said angrily and grabbed Byabunny. I barely got up when I was tripped and I fell back onto his futon. I turned around and glared at him. He didn't even remove his hand from my bare leg! A flush fought its way up from my neck to my necks.

"Let go! You are obviously well enough if you can play with my feelings like this so you don't need me around!" I snapped at him and he pulled me towards himself. I yelped and just barely caught my balance with my arm, my face almost landed hard on the bedding.

"I. Will. Freeze. You." I warned him and he stopped for a moment weighing my threat in his mind before tugging me the rest of the way and pushing me down with his body weight. I kicked out angrily.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please just go to sleep?" He asked me and I pretended to calm only to roll away from him the first chance I got. He looked shocked and sat up in his bed. I watched him carefully as I pulled Byabunny up with me and walked to the door silently. He looked truly sad. But I didn't think sleeping in his bed with him now was a good idea. I was about to slide open his door when I heard him get up. I watched him carefully.

"You promised that you would never leave me." He said lowly and I gulped.

"There are many ways that you can determine that promise. I just don't think I should sleep in your bed tonight." I told him honestly and opened the door.

"Please stay with me tonight Rukia." He asked silently. I chewed my cheek. Its only comfort right? This isn't that personal right? I quietly slid his door closed and walked back over to my side of his bed. I got in and made myself comfortable with Byabunny. I watched him for a while before I closed my eyes. I felt the bedding move on his side and I sighed softly. I was honestly exhausted again now.

"You are supposed to stay home and take it easy over the next few days, Isane's orders. And I suppose there is also funeral preparations…" I trailed off and he groaned. I reached under the covers for his hand and when I found it I brought it to the surface to my lips.

"Thank you for no leaving me." I told him and after a moment he shifted in bed only to lean over me and place a kiss on my forehead. I strand fluttering feeling erupted in my stomach that I chose to believe was hunger.

"I will never leave you if I can help it. I only hope that you can stay with me after all of the terrible things I am sure to do in the future. This sort of thing doesn't happen often, but when it does it is usually ugly." He told me and leaned back to him own side.

"I don't think badly of you for doing what you need to do. I just wish it wasn't you that had to do it. Will you always take care of these matters yourself? Why didn't you ask me to help you? I would have offered! You were bleeding out in front of me and you wouldn't rest until the job was done." I told him and when he looked at me the moon from the window shone through his eyes.

"It is my duty, and it might be difficult to understand but as long as there is a pure-blooded Kuchiki alive and well, it is his duty to become the head of the clan. I can't pass on my responsibility to another from the branch family, now will I let you bloody your hands while mine are still able to do their job." He told me kindly.

"But don't you understand that I want to protect you and help you if I can? Sharing your burden isn't the safe as forcing it on someone if they are willing." I said gently and he sighed.

"I do understand but I am the head of the family and you are under my protection. It would humiliate me to depend on the strength of the one I was meant to protect. If I did that then I have no right to lead the family. A king shouldn't send out his men to die, he should protect them as is his duty, the same goes for his princess. If a king lost what he was protecting what need is there for him? This is my purpose in life, to lead and protect. It's not easy and sometimes I do resent it but it is what it is. As long as I have your comfort at the end of the day I will be fine." He told me sadly.

"I am trying to understand, but if you were in a life and death situation and I could save you, can you really tell me not to?" I asked him sadly and he smiled at me.

"If I was in a life and death situation, I would trust you to guard my back so that nothing would happen to either of us. But unless we fight someone on Nodt's level of power or greater, I hope that you will allow me to do my job unhindered." He said silently.

"I will let you do your duty but I can guarantee you that if I see you in danger I will try to get you out of it, I won't hesitate." I told him and looked into his moonlit eyes. He sighed and looked like he was going to argue with me a while longer before he turned around.

"I appreciate that, now go to sleep." He said soft and I smiled. I was rare that anyone else made Byakuya Kuchiki surrender.

I bit my lip fighting a smile. A sudden thought came to me though before I could fall asleep.

"Why were you so sad today?" I asked him and I didn't think he was going to reply to me until he hummed softly.

"I was lonely as I told you. I am also jealous of the connection between you and the Kurosaki boy. I know its selfish of me but I would be happier if I could mean that much to you." He told me silently.

"But you already mean as much as he does to me." I said softly and lifted my leg towards him so that I could pinch his butt with my toes. He shot onto his back and looked at me in a strange way.

"Goodnight!" I quickly squeaked and pulled the covers over my head. He sighed and turned around to face me. Even though I knew he couldn't see my face I could feel his eyes looking at me, daring me to look up. I resisted though and smiled as I turned with my eyes closed, away from him.

"I am not doing to look at you again no matter how long you stare at me." I told him smugly and then shrieked as her pinched my behind. I refused to turn around.

"Careful, this might be the last time I sleep in your bed with you." I warned him teasingly and he snorted.

"Alright, then we will sleep in your bed together." He told me and my shoulders shook from repressed laughter. I grabbed a fist full of Byabunny's fur in one hand and wacked Byakuya over the head with the rabbit before bringing it back to me. He burst out laughing and I groaned in exhausted agony.

"Sleep." I commanded with my tired voice, it did little good though. Eventually I decided to crawl up to him. I lay sight beside him and parted his legs with one of my own before getting comfortable on him.

"Go to sleep, or else im going to move." I told him threateningly. I opened my eyes to look at his utterly stupefied expression. Yes, I was crossing boundaries, just for tonight, but only because I knew he wouldn't do anything to me.

He settled down and slowly moved around a little to find a comfortable position. We lay like that until we both fell asleep. The next morning would be chaos.


	16. Chapter 16

RUKIA

I woke up cosy and comfortable and incredibly warm. I tried to roll onto my back but I couldn't move an inch! My eyes shot open in terror as the predicament I was in settled into my frightened brain. Last night I didn't think anything about cuddling up with Byakuya because its just sleep, but now…

My leg was tightly fitted between his crotch and his legs wrapped around mine tightly. One of my arms had wrapped itself under his neck and the other under his arm. He held me tightly with both of his arms around my back. I was firmly locked in place and I couldn't break free! I didn't expect us to wake up this close! Too close!

My heart hammered in my chest like a humming bird. I really couldn't do anything! My arms were immobile and so were my legs. I groaned in acceptance of what I had to do. And I vowed to myself to never sleep in his bed again because with humiliation just wasn't worth it.

"Byakuya? Are you awake?" I whispered gently, and he didn't even stir. Oh lord, he was fast asleep! Panic quickly overtook all my senses of comfort and I quickly began feeling queasy. What if a maid walked in for their daily routine and found us like this? The rumours that would spread! And it wasn't anything like that!

"Byakuya, wake up!" I shrieked as softly as I could manage. At least, I though with a moments contemplation, he wasn't having a dirty dream and stirring his certain parts. That had happed with Renji many times and I always felt awkward and uncomfortable during those kinds of morning but I could at least always get free.

Byakuya tightened his grip on me and snuggled into me a little more. That's right, this had to be a terrible, terrible dream. I'm not wake yet because there is no way in hell this could be happening to me! The last thing I needed was someone spreading rumours about us sleeping together in a more than sleep kind of way, and I'm sure that, that is how it would appear. We were too close to each other!

"Byakuya!" I whined loudly and fidgeted in his arms. I daren't move my leg in case, well you know. I groaned and I whimpered in frustration. Eventually his yukata dropped low enough to almost expose his shoulder. Should I bite him? Then again what if he gets angry and bites me back?

"Byakuya!" I shouted, no longer caring about being quiet. He stirred but didn't let me free a smidgen. That's it. I wouldn't bite him hard, just hard enough to wake him up. I stretched my neck up and gently encased my teeth over his throat. I bit gently trying to get him to move, to wake up, but nothing. I was almost tempted to bite down hard!

I released him from my bite and looked up towards his face. Nothing. Sleeping soundly. The arm I had wrapped under his arm touched something soft and silky. An evil gleam entered my eyes and I smiled in triumph. Basterd, you deserve this! I tugged harshly and he yelped. I cringed at the high volume right above my ears. I cleared my throat loudly.

"What was that for?!" He asked me in irritation. My eyes widened in shock before the anger set in.

"You jerk! I can't even move!" I whispered angrily and purposefully moved my leg against his thighs. His eyes widened and he sputtered before loosening his grip on me and letting me crawl away from him. I refused to look at him, even when he called for me. I left my Byabunny in his room and quickly ran to my own room and locked my door. I needed a long bath and then I would take extra time grooming myself before leaving my room for breakfast. I really didn't want to see him any time too soon.

Just thinking about looking at him after that awkward moment made my heart thump like a lunatic. I wasn't excited really or fearful, I was definitely embarrassed and I couldn't look him in the face after I had instigated the predicament! What must he think of me now?

Tomorrow morning early, I would be leaving for the soul reaper academy. I would leave before breakfast so that I don't have to deal with any awkwardness. I could also avoid asking him to join me even though the company would do wonders.

I dressed myself in a light blue kimono and made sure to cover as much of myself as possible. What I thought I was ready I searched for his spiritual pressure and I found him still in his room. Oh, thank goodness! I could eat quickly and then leave before he caught me and things became awkward again.

I left my room and quickly walked to the dining room. I ate my breakfast in silence and quickly left the room when I felt him approaching towards it. I'm not facing him yet. No way. I scrubbed myself vigorously and yet I still felt hot sweaty man imprinted on my flesh. Once I was sure that he would stay in the dining room I decided to go and train privately for a change. Yoruichi had shown me where her private training ground with Kisuke was located and I decided to run away there. Byakuya had funeral preparations to take care of anyway, he would be too busy to chase after me this morning.

I was far from mastering Shunko, but my abilities at standard weren't terrible. In my bankai state I could at least move around and attack if I needed to, without the fear of being shattered by my enemy. When I was tired and hurt enough to take a rest I stripped off my dirtied clothes and walked into the shallow hot spring that had healing properties. It was amazing. I walked to the deeper waters where I hugged my chest to a rock and let the rest of my body soak. It was so peaceful and relaxing.

The heat stirred my arousal and I enjoyed fantasising about the things Renji had once told me about. I smiled as butterflies filled my belly and shivers ran down my body. This is what I need, release from the tension that has been building up between Byakuya and myself. I just need to let it go.

"I never knew this place existed." Said a voice sitting on a rock by my clothes. My happiness and arousal quickly turned to fear and anger.

"What the hell are you doing here?! Of course, you didn't know of its existence, it is a private training ground! And I'm very naked over here, please go away!" I yelled at him from over the rock. He looked at me curiously before a light blush covered his cheeks. He didn't even look away!

"What are you doing here is the real question. You avoided me this morning and ran away after breakfast, without giving me a word of where you were going, thankfully I am adept at tracking you." He told me smugly and I scowled at him. I turned my back on him and retreated further into the deeper waters. With any luck he will leave and allow me to recover from his intrusion. He was silent behind me but I soaked in the spring for as long as I pleased, diving under and shaking out any tangles formed in my long hair.

When I was ready to get out I turned my head to where he was still sitting watching me silently. I sighed and covered my breasts with my arms before walking through the water until it only covered below my hips. I was aware of his eyes lingering on me but I didn't move any further. I stared at him until he finally looked back towards my face.

"Do you mind giving me the privacy to dress? You already watched me bath." I told him icily. He flinched and looked like he was going to say something before nodding and walking away. I dressed myself slowly thinking about the massive boundary he has just broken. It would be better for me to live in my captains' quarters from today forward.

It was one thing for a silent attraction between us to linger, it was completely different to let the situation get out of hand. I knew he wouldn't take my leaving the house well, even if it was for the best for both of us. He actually watched me bath. He looked at me indecently. I can only imagine what was running through his mind.

When I was dressed I walked into the clearing with my wet hair tied up with his red hair string. I spotted him and walked towards him.

"Byakuya, I need to talk to you." I told him seriously. He looked highly uncomfortable and crossed his arms in a state of defence.

"Rukia, I didn't mean to intrude on your private space and I know I should have left and I didn't but I swear to you I did not have a single indecent thought about you. We can just forget this ever happened." He told me and I shook my head sadly.

"No, this is my fault. Last night and this morning were because of me and because I crossed some boundaries you also did. But I think that it is going a bit too far now to be decent, and I would feel comfortable at home until things settle down. I'm not going away, I am just going to stay at my quarters at the barracks for a few weeks. It is what is best for the both of us." I told him and gulped at the hard stare he directed towards me.

"I'm sorry. I swear I didn't think of you inappropriately, there is no reason for you to leave! I just couldn't look away from your beauty, the way you moved in the water and the way your hair fanned out around you. I was admiring you but not in an inappropriate way." He defended himself again and he tried to convince me that leaving wasn't necessary.

"If I stay at home you have to promise to respect my privacy, and what happened last night can't happen again. Do you know what rumours would have spread if we were found like that? And what if something else happened? I was afraid of moving my leg in case I aroused you by accident and made things worse, do you understand the position you put me in? It was nice, and comforting but really, that is the last time." I ordered him sternly. I could see the hurt and confusion in his eyes but he nodded and righted himself before we left.

The house was in chaos as servants scrambled around looking for Byakuya. Shouts of 'master!' and 'Lord Kuchiki!' echoed throughout the main house. When we walked through the front entrance they immediately bowed low and called his attention.

"Master! The wife of your cousin who you had fought and killed is here and she will not leave! She demands to speak to you, my lord. She has brought with her, her zanpakuto! We fear she has come to avenge her husband!" One of the servants shouted hurriedly and Byakuya asked her to lead him to the 'guest'. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do but I was too worried about him to let him get potentially harmed by a grieving woman.

We entered the room and sat beside each other across from her. Usually my spot would be beside him or across from him, but I wanted to keep my full sight on her in case she tried something funny. She was also heavily pregnant.

"My lord Kuchiki." She said and bowed. He nodded and I watched in silence. Byakuya was wearing his public mask again. I noticed that she didn't answer me and quiet frankly being in her presence was unnerving me.

"May I request a private audience with you?" She asked silently and I began to rise from my position to leave them when Byakuya's hand reached out and gently pushed my legs down again.

"I trust Rukia, you may state your manor of business in her presence, and you will greet and address her as you do for myself." Byakuya commanded coldly. The woman shed tears and kept silent for a long while before she lifted her head and bowed towards me.

"My sincerest apologies miss Kuchiki." She said softly and wiped at her face with her sleeve before before looking directly towards us.

"I have come to ask you to take responsibility for your actions last night when you killed my husband. Please take responsibility for this child I am carrying, as the next heir to the clan as you held his father his untimely death." She spoke sorrowfully and I couldn't help but gasp from beside Byakuya. Would she really use her unborn baby as a bargaining chip of influence?!

"Tell me, is this request your own or was there someone else who has whispered the idea into your mind?" Byakuya asked coldly. She stiffened and she looked down.

"My late husband told me that if he didn't come home to me last night that you would take responsibility for this child I bare." She stated sorrowfully.

"You knew from the moment you married into the Kuchiki clan that the branch family and the main family are entirely different. I am sorry for your loss but I will not accept a responsibility that is not my own, I have too many as it is, more than that I would never crown a child who is not my own as the heir to the clan, the main family does not accept dirty blood I am afraid." Byakuya said calmly and I glared at him. I understood him telling her that he couldn't accept her request but he didn't have to go as far as to insult her! As nobles go my blood is filthier than dirt compared to hers!

"Then I must request either a blood sacrifice on your part or a duel to the death." She commanded coldly. My hands grabbed the dirties fabric of my kimono and shook violently.

"The duel I fought against your husband was fair, you will not have any blood sacrifice from my family. As for a duel to the death, I refuse to draw my blade on a delusional, pregnant woman. After your baby is born, if you choose to pursue your vendetta I will deal you your death that you seek, but know that there is no honour dying in such a way, especially for you." Brother said and stood up.

"You are dismissed, leave my house now. Come Rukia." He asked me and I stood up carefully in a daze. How could she risk the life of her child like that?! How could she attempt to stain Byakuya's hands with innocent blood? Byakuya opened the door for us and I rose to follow him when a sharp pain lodged itself into the right centre of my chest. I looked down and gasped at the sword that protruded through me, right up until the hilt. Byakuya turned towards me briefly to see what the matter was but his mask fell away instantly as he saw the zanpakuto protruding from my chest.

I put a hand to the hilt of my zanpakuto but before I could draw it the blade in my chest turned painfully to the side making me cry out in anguish. I breathed in and out in heavy pants. Byakuya tried to move but before he could use Kido on her or draw his zanpakuto she moved her blade closer towards my heart. Complete fear washed over me.

"So much as move or build your spiritual pressure and I will kill her where she stands." Said the once gentle, fragile looking woman. She was too busy looking at Byakuya to notice that I was aiming one of my fingers at her.

"Bakudo number one, Restrain!" I gasped out and she fell to the floor. I was in agony.

"Byakuya. Pull out the sword." I bedded him but he called a servant to get Isane immediately.

"I can't remove the zanpakuto right now, you will bleed out." He hushed gently to me.

"I can heal myself! Please just pull it out! I am suffering!" I cried out to him. He swallowed hesitantly and moved behind me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and moved the blade away from my heart before pulling it out of me. I fell to my knees in agony. I only barely unsheathed my sword before I called on my bankai.

I froze over the better part of the room along with my body and lay there motionless for minutes until the injury was healed. As soon as I was healed I took large gasping breaths. I tried to slowly release my bankai from its released state, knowing that if I wasn't careful I would only hurt myself more. I was barely unfrozen when Byakuya pulled me into his lap and started stroking my head soothingly.

I didn't know what was happening around me anymore as my eyes drifted shut into unconsciousness.

BYAKUYA

"Rukia!? Don't go to sleep yet! Isane needs to over look your health when she arrives!" I shouted at her but I felt her quickly slip away from me. I kept my hold on her even as she frosted over my skin.

"Curse you!" Called out the woman who lay on the floor in a Bakudo binding spell.

"No, I think not. However, you will be punished for your crimes against my family!" I promised her. A knock followed at the door before captain Isane walked in and rushed over to Rukia examining her.

"She seems fully healthy, just a bit cold, you need to warm her up right away and sheath her zanpakuto!" She ordered me and I placed my hand on the frozen hilt of Rukia's blade, sheathing it for her and almost freezing off my hand at the same time.

"Isane. I need to sedate this woman and preform an emergency c-section for the child. She is guilty of high treason and attempted murder and will be death with as soon as the child is protected from the harm its mother could inflict upon it." I ordered and Isane gasped in horror.

"Captain Kuchiki, you can't seriously intend to- "She began and I cut her off.

"This is a serious matter. This is also classified Kuchiki business, I am willing to spare the child's life if you can remove it from her body, otherwise I will count it as collateral damage. The mother cannot be spared." I told her in all seriousness. She nodded and walked towards the woman who yelled for her to stay back. She sedated her with Kido and ordered the two squad units of the forth division to carry her to a private ward and restrain her.

"Isane. Once the child is safely removed from the mother keep the mother under strict surveillance, you do not know what she is capable of." I warned her and she nodded sadly. It broke my heart to have to take both of the child's parents away from it before it could even know them, but at least it had a chance of a life unaffected by the corruption in the minds of its parents.

I picked up Rukia and carried her to her own room. I looked at for a moment before deciding to take her to mine instead. She would be angry with me but it was for her own wellbeing. I needed to keep her warm and without body heat she would probably only freeze over her bedding.

I lay her down in my bed and covered her up, I lay behind her and pulled her close to me. Even thirty minutes later I lay with her shivering. It wasn't so bad anymore but we were both pink and flushed from the absence of heat for so long. The shivers began to fade and slowly she started waking up. I was sure that she was awake now but she didn't say a word. I feared her becoming angry with me and leaving.

"Rukia, are you alright? Captain Isane said I was to keep you warm and if I just left you in your room you would have most likely frosted over the bedding. The most logical solution was to use my own body heat to help you come down from the cold." I told her and stumbled over a few of my words as I rushed to get them out.

She turned over and nuzzled her cold face to my chest making me shiver from the cold. She wrapped an arm around my middle and loosely fit her leg over one of mine.

"What happened to her?" She asked me hesitantly. I sighed and hung an arm loosely around her.

"Isane is preforming and emergency delivery as we speak. Her actions were unforgivable and she will be dealt with accordingly once the child is safe." I told her and she stiffened.

"What about the baby? You can't kill its mother!" She shouted into my chest.

"I have to. She will be punished justly for her actions, besides a woman like her is only a danger to the child. Woman like her who marry into the family do so for an advantage, the child is nothing but a bargaining chip for her to use as she desires and then her venomous thoughts will be imprinted into the child's mind as it grows older and it will grow corrupt as its parents before it and I will be forced to kill it anyway. I am giving the child a chance at a life without ill will and corruption. We have wet nurses among the clan so the child will be looked after. I do regret having to kill both of its parents but it is necessary." I told her gently hoping that she would understand. She cried into my chest and wrapped herself more tightly around me. I was hesitant to touch her, but it was only for comforts sake so it shouldn't matter.

I lifted my neck for her to sneak her arm around it and lifted my arm to rest under hers so I could hold her more firmly. I wanted to pull her closer to me still, but I knew that she would run away if I did so I decided to settle for this amount of close proximity.

"Why did you say that she has dirty blood? At least she was noble born, compared to mine her blood is probably purer that the white fur on a baby bunny." She said softly into my chest and my heart stung.

"Rukia, its not like that. What I mean by it was that my line has stayed directly connected to its origin, pure and untainted from the source, I am a pure soul as the twenty-seven heads of the family were before me. Regular noble families are branched off away from the four main houses because unlike us they have human origin and would upset our family's resurrection system. They are also so distantly related to us that it would be impossible for any child of theirs to be in graded into our lineage. If I were to show you out family tree you will see that none of the family apart from the main family's names are on it because they are impure to the blood we possess. Human souls such as yourself are not dirty but a different species entirely." I told her trying to make her understand. It was complicated and I knew better to believe that I hadn't offended her with my words. I lifted my hand to stroke her neck gently with my thumb.

"To me, you are the purest soul out there, purer even than myself." I told her and she peeked up at me embarrassedly before hiding her face in my clothes. I smiled at her bashfulness.

"I thought that I was going to die for moment today. I watched as your eyes turned from cold to emotional and it made me think that if you were that afraid it meant that I wasn't going to make it." She told me gently and I moved my arm lower to pull our midsections closer together. She gasped as we were laying flushed against each other.

"I wouldn't have let that happen, even if I had to do something forbidden, I wouldn't let you leave me like that. However, if you hadn't bound her into releasing you, I would have killed her in a heartbeat despite her being pregnant. I am grateful for you saving me from doing something unspeakable. Thank you, Rukia." I told her kindly. She looked at me in fear and disbelief. It's true, I could have saved her and dealt with my enemy as I saw fit. I didn't because Rukia distracted me from doing so.

"You wouldn't have done that." She told me and fear from the moment I though she would leave me caught in my throat and tears welled in my eyes. She gasped in shock. I buried her head into my neck and shed my tears silently.

"Yes, I would have. Your human morals and values only mean so much to me. I want you to see me as your equal but you have to understand that to an extent I am greater than any human could ever be, I also do not need to abide by your limitations. My instincts are more just, because they are primal, humans think with morality too much. To me, you are mine and I love and protect you because I want to. The child would have been collateral damage in the effort I took to protect you." I told her and she shivered in my embrace. I gulped down the sick feeling crawling up my throat.

"Please don't hate me?" I asked her softly but she continued to shiver in my embrace. She didn't answer me. A knock at my door made us both jump slightly. A servant spoke through the door.

"Master? Captain Isane wanted you to know that the child has been safely delivered." She announced and I told her that I understood and that I would deal with it. I tried to release myself from Rukia's grasp but she pulled me back down to her. I sighed in exasperation.

"What are you going to do?" She asked me softly without looking up at me. I shivered at the fear in her voice.

"My duty." I told her and gently removed her hands from my kimono.

"I'm coming with you." She told me and I sighed and held her down.

"No, you will stay here. You are not dressed to leave the house and I do not want you to judge me more harshly than you already will. There is nothing you can do to help her or me, and I will not have you watching me." I told her sternly. She pulled my sleeve forcefully.

"I will try not to judge you. It won't take me long to change, please let me come with you?" She begged me and I bit my cheek.

"Do you want to watch me kill her? Are you afraid that I will kill the child? Is that what this is about?"

I asked her angrily and more harshly than I intended, but I was hurt that she thought I would hurt the child now and I couldn't let her watch me kill the mother. The least I could do was resist bloodshed, but her death was imminent. Rukia looked at me in fear and sadness and bowed her head sadly.

"No, of course not! I just want to see if the child is alright." She told me softly and waited for me to answer her request. I felt exhausted by all of the family drama. All of this at only the second century of my existence. Other had eons to prepare for this but not me.

"Be quick." I told her coldly and she cringed and got up from my bed. I felt guilty for being so cruel to her only moments after we had been so close, but I kept in my mind that Rukia lost a child and probably needed to see the child alive and well for part of her self-recovery. When she was ready I took her hand and flash stepped away to the fourth division.

"Oh, captain Kuchiki and Lady Kuchiki! Please come this way." The healer called Hanataro called to us and we followed him to a small room with a glass contained inside it. We walked towards it and Rukia's eyes glassed over.

"It is a baby boy. Would you like to hold him?" He asked us and I glared at him coldly. I am the executor of his parents, I will not hold him in my bloodied hands. Rukia however excitedly shook her head. My heart broke at seeing her hold the orphan.

"We are not keeping it with us, do not grow so attached to it." I told her coldly and she flinched.

"Where is the mother? Lead me to her." Ordered Hanataro. He shook in fear and quickly led me towards the adjacent room where the mother lay on a bed restrained by Bakudo.

"Please Lord Kuchiki, have mercy!" She begged me and I could hear the healer wringing his hands in panic.

"Give me a moment." I told him and he bowed before running out of the room and waiting outside the room. I walked towards the bed and placed my hand above her neck. I heard a gasp from the door and my hand hovered over the mother's neck.

"Rukia, please leave. Stay with the child in the other room." I requested but she stood frozen on the spot. The mother was begging me and pleading for her life. I looked to the ceiling in exasperation and sighed closing my eyes. I hovered my hands over the mother's neck and looked towards Rukia. And then there was a snap. And I pulled my hand back. I didn't choke her as Rukia had perhaps predicted that I would but I cleanly broke her neck and her head lolled lifelessly to the side.

"Hanataro. Move the body of this woman to the Kuchiki family mortuary, she will be prepared for burial there." I told him and walked towards Rukia who couldn't take her eyes off of my hand. I felt panic and self-conscious and hid it behind my back.

"Rukia, follow me with the child, we will take it to it's new family." I told her and walked ahead of her. I waited patiently ahead of her for her to collect herself before she finally turned and followed me.

We walked further into the compound than she had probably ever been. I walked with purpose to a home I knew had just recently had a child, I had written a letter of congratulation of course. I knocked at the door and stepped back a pace. The father answered the door and bowed in respect to me.

"This Kuchiki child has lost both of his parents, would your family be so kind as to raise him as a brother of your own son?" I asked him gently. He looked taken aback and invited us into his house.

"As compensation for the inconvenience, the place of living of his parents may become your new residence if you would prefer. It is more spacious and would be better suited for raising two boys." I offered and the gladly accepted.

"My lord, does the baby already have a name?" The mother asked me kindly and I shook my head. She gushed to her husband about how lucky they were to have a second son, and that the name would have to be something similar to his brothers. After a while I bid the family farewell and walked home with Rukia. She had requested to eat alone in her room and I granted her request.

Hurt bled through my heart and I lay there thinking on if my decision had been correct or not. Did she think that I was easy for me to take the mothers life? She attacked and attempted to kill Rukia, such an offence is punishably only by death. She obviously didn't truly care for her child's well being if her actions were anything to judge her by.

Tomorrow morning was the academy day. I loathed being around the commoners who asked overly personal and offensive questions. I knew that it was our responsibility to encourage them in their studies, to inspire them to become powerful soul reapers who protected the living, helped the deceased pass on and saved the souls of the hallows.

Event still, none of them were half worth anything in promise. Tomorrow would be incredibly boring, but hopefully since I would be with Rukia the entire day I could find a way to make her forgive me.

I couldn't get the look she sent towards my hand out of my head. I felt as if I couldn't touch her with it now.

I did what I had to do. It wasn't wrong. But the was she looked at me made me feel filthy.


	17. Chapter 17

RUKIA

I had trouble sleeping last night. Actually, I didn't sleep last night. Every time I closed my eyes a saw a beautiful, slender, kind and caring hand that had comforted me so many times gently wrap around that terrified woman's neck and snap it like a twig. I'm not sure how I expected him to do it, I knew he would but seeing her like that and watching him ruthlessly kill her was too much for me. His hand looked so clean and innocent after it killed her, like all that he had done was clipping a branch in ikebana.

That poor, beautiful, innocent baby was now orphaned. Byakuya had found the baby a new family that thankfully gladly embraced him. The same hand I had kissed when I feared for his life barely a day ago had killed the baby's mother. I knew I couldn't keep the baby but it was cruel of him to tell me not to get attached to him. Especially because his mother was killed for harming me. I saw how Byakuya looked at me when I held the baby. There was a sense of understanding and sorrow in his eyes.

I got up from my bed and had a nice cold shower. I dressed into my uniform and wore my haori. I tied up my hair with Byakuya's hair string and walked towards the scarf. I think I understood what he meant now about it being a noose on his neck tying him to his duties. My shower refreshed me, my body, my mind and my spirit. Byakuya isn't a killer. That just isn't him. He only did what he had to do. He saved the baby and that was all that mattered.

I ate my breakfast alone and left a note by his bedside telling him that I have gone to the academy early and that I would probably be back for dinner. I left while it was still dark and walked towards the academy calmly. I could have flash stepped there in a moment but I took this rare occasion to enjoy the morning air.

I found a nice high perch on the buildings roof and lay myself down on it and yawned tiredly. I closed my eyes and remanence about how much simpler life was back then. Sure, I was always alone unless Renji wanted to hang out with me, but I didn't mind. To everyone else I was just a simple student among the many. I sighed as the first bell rang. That meant that students were supposed to head to their classes and the next one would mean that I was late.

I brushed of my haori and jumped down from the roof onto the ground in front of the teacher's office that I was told to meet the teacher whose class I was going to be apart of. I schooled my features into the prized Kuchiki mask of indifference and opened the door.

"I am Rukia Kuchiki, captain of the thirteenth division." I announced and there was a mutter among the teachers. Some said scandalous things and others murmured about how small and defenceless I looked. I could feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Someone pushed me forward slightly from behind me and pushed the door open fully.

"Byakuya Kuchiki, captain of the sixth division." Announced the voice from behind me. I just barely peeked over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of his cold, hold gaze. At least that is what anyone who didn't know him would see. Did he hear what they had been saying? The room had become eerily silent the moment he appeared. Now that is respect.

"The academy is even less professional than the last time I had the displeasure of attending it." Byakuya said impatiently behind me.

"Forgive us captain Kuchiki, and uh captain Kuchiki? We were only informed that the captain of the thirteen division would be joining us today, not you as well lord." Stammered one of the teachers.

"I am here because it is customary for the captain to be attended to by their lieutenant and as neither of us have one at present it would make better sense for us to go together. We have wasted enough time, do your job." Byakuya ordered from behind me and a man came forward awkwardly and asked us to follow him to the advanced class. We walked behind him leisurely and I pulled Byakuya's sleeve.

"This is the first I hear that you were supposed to accompany me! Why didn't you tell me?" I hissed lowly through a whisper. His lips only barely twitched upward.

"I wanted to surprise you and besides if I had told you in advance you would have tried to avoid me anyway, this way I have you to myself and you can't run away from me." He said proudly like a cat that had cornered the mouse. I felt my cheeks flush and I schooled my expression as we walked into the room of students. Many voices could be heard whispering different things.

'Hey who is the cute girl?', 'Is she captain Kuchiki's new lieutenant?', 'Don't you know? She is the Rukongai princess!', 'You mean the princess of the Kuchiki clan? That big noble family?', 'Nah, I hear that she was actually adopted by the leader because she resembled his wife.', 'Did you know that she didn't even graduate properly? The only reason a student like her became a soul reaper is because of the Kuchiki families influence.', 'But look at her haori, she is the new captain of the thirteenth squad! Surely, she earned it.', 'Are you blind? Why do you think the leader of the clan is with her? He probably fixed it so that the Kuchiki family looked more powerful having two members on the Thirteen Court Guard Squads.', 'Look at her, how strong could she possibly be?', 'I heard that she married the lieutenant of the sixth division under the leader, I bet she slept her way up to the top!', 'She is probably sleeping with captain Kuchiki as well.', 'Oh! Shush, before they hear us!'.

My lips felt dry and my hands were clammy. I peeked up to see Byakuya's expression. Beyond the mask of 'I feel nothing', I could sense the shock. I held my head high and stepped forward to introduce myself as was customary.

"I am Rukia Kuchiki, captain of the thirteenth division." I said calmly and clearly. There were still some gasps among the seated students but many more whispers. Byakuya introduced himself and we were led to the Kido practice room. My lips turned up a bit as the memory of Renji burning off his eyebrows ran through my mind.

"We would like you to battle our top student at the academy at the end of the day to inspire the class, he is the academy's rising star!" The teacher boasted and I nodded. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Byakuya walking past the students practicing and criticising their efforts, constructively or disdainfully. I decided to follow his lead since I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing.

"Captain Kuchiki? Could you please help me? I'm having trouble aiming my spells properly at the target." Said a male student I had just come to. I smiled and his face lit up like a fire cracker.

"Try to visualise what you want it to do, you have learnt the theory of it already but you need to remember that the theory is the foundation of the spell, you will have more control over it if you use imagination during the release of the spell. Try it, I will watch." I said eagerly and watched him on his spell. He said the incantation and hit the centre of the target for the first time. I grinned at him when he looked up at me in awe.

I looked around trying to find Byakuya and found him staring at me proudly. I smiled brightly at him and continued to walk around the other students seeing if they needed help. I noticed a young girl eyeing Byakuya like a love-sick puppy. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"And what do you find so amusing?" Asked a voice from behind me and I jumped. I hit him on the shoulder in mock anger.

"Do not sneak up on people, it's rude! And, if you must know Mr. Oblivious, that girl over there has been sending you 'notice me' stares the entire lesson. I think she has a crush on you." I told him and he looked at me in slight surprise.

"Then it is a pity that the sixth division only recruits' men, she should have a sex change and come back later." Byakuya joked and I lifted my arm over my mouth to hide my smile even though my shoulders shook with supressed laughter.

"Rukia…am I forgiven?" He asked me quietly so that no one else could hear our more private conversation. My smile dropped and I looked at him sadly.

"You were only doing your duty. I am just startled that such gentle, loving hands could kill so easily. The baby undoubtfully has his best chance with his new family, but I couldn't help but think of you as the innocent child who lost your parents. I know how difficult it was for you to do it. I forgive you." I told him softly and he smiled at me briefly before trying to compose himself again, but now and then throughout the day whenever I caught his eye his lips would twitch if only slightly.

"Now we have our sparring practice. The student I told you about should arrive shortly, he was on a special mission to the world of the living with his team, but he should be back shortly, he would never miss an opportunity to fight a captain!" He said brightly. I nodded and Byakuya and I returned to advising the students on their swordsmanship. When we were done we met each other in the centre of the room.

"Ah captain Kuchiki, sir? I know it is a lot to ask, but your zanpakuto is legendary! Would you please show us all what it looks like.?" Asked a girl and many others quickly stopped what they were doing and agreed eagerly. They begged him even though he said no. I nudged him and gave him an encouraging smile.

"Inspire them with the beauty of your shikai." I whispered excitedly. A light tint of pink lit up his ears and he coughed into his hand and ordered the class to stand back. He held his blade upright and whispered to it, 'Scatter, Senbonzakura'. A thousand beautiful cherry blossoms flooded the room and some of the students said how girly his zanpakuto was. My shoulders shook in suppressed amusement. Byakuya caught a group of boys laughing at him and he directed all of his blades towards them. Not a hair remained on their heads and all their clothing except for their underwear had been torn to tiny pieces.

"Now, imagine what a thousand blades could do to an enemy, or perhaps a lowly vagrant." He said, obviously trying to scare the living day lights out of the students. It worked too.

"Can we see your blade, captain Kuchiki?" Asked a shy girl and I smiled at her kindly.

"Sure." I said kindly and drew my blade in a dance in front of me. 'Dance, Sode no Shirayuki'.

My blade became pure white and the hilt became a snowflake, a long white ribbon released from the tip of the hilt. There were many awed voices in the crowd, but some weren't too impressed.

"The most beautiful zanpakuto in the entire Soul Society, for the most beautiful soul reaper." Said a voice that I would recognise anywhere. My lips trembled and tears ran down my face. Byakuya looked just as shocked but also overly worries. Hushed voiced surrounded the room.

"Rukia! Sister, I have missed you so much!" Came an excited yet tearful voice of someone else I would recognise anywhere. I wiped my face of all of my tears and turned around to face the new comers.

"Hello Karin. Ichigo… Its been a while hasn't it?" I asked them and Ichigo walked up to me while Karin lunged herself into my arms. I hugged Karin tightly and knew who I wanted to be me lieutenant. I let her go for a moment before facing Ichigo. He smiled at me like he just saw the sun after a lifetime of clouds.

"Hello soul reaper." He said and I punched him in the face. Hard. There were many gasps among the students and the teacher came forward in concern when he saw Ichigo's bleeding nose.

"I told you not to call me that you idiot, I am Rukia Kuchiki, got that? And why did you let yourself die?! Idiot, I'm never going to let you live it down." I told him and shoved him playfully.

"God, I've missed your right hook. So, are you going to fight me or what?" He asked and I blanked and looked towards Byakuya who was watching us with a slightly sad expression.

"Oh, hey Byakuya, you are here too?" Ichigo asked him and his brow twitched.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you will address me as captain Kuchiki or Lord Kuchiki only, you disrespectful little…" Byakuya trailed off and looked towards me. He looked away quickly and looked out a window.

"Well, its just sparring so I'm not fighting you for real." I told Ichigo and he grinned.

"Oh no, you are fighting me for real, little soul reaper. The only reason I am at the academy is because I wanted to start my life in this world out the correct way. Come on midget, show me what you've got!" He taunted and I felt torn. He was stronger than me, hell he was as strong as Byakuya! I could beat him but I would have to pull a few dirty tricks.

"Alright, but promise you won't hold back?" I asked him and fluttered my eyes at him. He choked as well as I number of students and Karin laughed along the rest of the students.

"You got it midget, lets take this outside." He said and swung his blade over his shoulder. I sighed. He hasn't changed one bit, I am glad.

"Hey guys! Let's make bets on who wins!" Shouted one of the students and the rest quickly wrote up a betting charter. I flushed and walked up to Byakuya. I couldn't keep the grin off of my face.

"He's alive! They are really alive! I can't believe they were right here from the start!" I told him excitedly and he tried to look happy for me but I noticed the look of sadness in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as I gestured for him to follow me outside.

"It's nothing, I'm fine." He said and I frowned.

"That's what I say whenever I'm not fine but I don't want anyone to know I'm hurting. Will you tell me when we head home?" I asked him quietly. After a minute he nodded and I smiled at him.

"Hey! You better not bet on Ichigo! No matter how strong he is, he will never win against me!" I boasted and grinned mischievously. His lips twitched slightly and he took out a few gold nuggets and tossed them in the pool.

"Put me down five crowns for Rukia Kuchiki." He told the boy who gaped at him. I smiled widely at him and released my shikai. Ichigo and I fought as equals for the most part, eventually we both used out bankai. The students were gushing about how cool Ichigo was and how pretty I was. Ichigo released his hollow powers and just as he was about to attack me I moved my hair behind my neck and tilted my head up a bit. As I predicted, his attention had completely redirected and with a single move I froze him solid and send his crashing to the ground with Hado thirty-three, Sokatsui.

Yes, Ichigo was out for the count but he was grinning like an idiot.

I looked to where Byakuya stood stunned I quickly pulled a lock of my hair over my shoulder to try and look more decent. I slowly sheathed my bankai. When I was done I walked up to Byakuya and smiled shyly.

"So, you won the bet huh?" I teased and his face became sombre.

"Its hardly a bet if I knew the outcome. Should we head home?" He said softly and closed his eyes.

"Actually, I want to recruit someone…I just want to fill in the necessary papers before we leave." I hold him and he looked at me sharply, almost accusingly. He nodded and told me that he was going to be waiting for me at the entrance.

I walk towards the offices and requested the documents for both Karin Kurosaki and Ichigo Kurosaki and wrote out their transferal letters to the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. When I was done I double checked my work and handed in the papers to the secretary who would get to work on them immediately.

I smiled as I saw Byakuya waiting for me outside with his eyes closed. I didn't think twice before I took his hand and started walking towards home. I swung our hands together happily and eagerly went to my room to change into more comfortable clothes. We ate dinner in silence and I glanced towards him a few times but he was eating slowly and disinterestedly even you his eyes never strayed from his food.

"Are you going to tell me why you are so down?" I asked if softly and he sighed.

"You don't need me now that Kurosaki is back. I suppose I am feeling jealous." He told me and decided that he wouldn't bother trying to eat anything more. I sat there stiffly.

"You were never a replacement or substitute for Ichigo. I don't know what would make you think that I would love you any less now than I did this morning." I told him and felt heat flood my cheeks.

"Do you always flirt during sparring?" He asked me and I almost choked on a piece of fish.

"Of course not! I knew my opponent and I exploited his weakness against him, that is all. It only ever worked on Renji and Ichigo though anyway. I could beat Renji without tricks but you know that Ichigo is far stronger than I am. I may have taught him in the beginning but he has surpassed me by leagues already." I told him sadly.

"Which reminds me, I need to go and find Ichigo tonight, I need to give him something. And tomorrow I am going to redecorate my lieutenants' quarters. I never really lived there so I had no need to make it homey, you know? I want to try and make it comfortable for when my new lieutenant arrives in a few days." I told him and he frowned. I reached over the table and stroked his forehead.

"Frowning like that is only going to make you wrinkle earlier, you are too good looking to look like captain general Yamamoto so early in life!" I chided and he snorted. But a smile touched his lips.

"So, you do think I am attractive." He said slyly. I sucked my cheeks to avoid the silly grin that threatened to stretch my lips.

"Well, I have seen you naked a number of times now, it only natural for me to appreciate your full appearance." I told hm and snickered when his neck clicked from how quickly he turned his neck to face me.

"Does it hurt, want me to rub it for you?" I asked him and his face lit up like a red lightbulb. After a minute he nodded and flinched. I had long since lost interest in my food so I kneeled behind him and massaged his neck. He sighed contentedly.

"This reminds me of the first time you rubbed my neck. You were naked then." He said teasingly and he yelled when I moved the kenseikan on his head. His face was twisted in agony.

"And then you peeked at me in the springs when I was bathing, peeping Tom. Take off the kenseikan quickly." I told him, feeling guilty for causing him so much pain.

"No, I don't even want to touch them right now." He told me miserably. I sighed and tried to take the ones on the side of his head off first but after a while he decided it would be safer to do it himself than to let me meddle with them until I pulled his hair out.

Once they were out I combed my fingers through his hair and started massaging his sculp. He moaned and groaned in pleasure and in pain. My own heart beat a mile a minute at the sounds. Did he even realise how it sounded? I bit my lip supressing a shudder. I massaged his temples and he hummed softly.

"Why is this the first time you have ever massaged my poor aching head?" He asked me with half lidded eyes.

"I thought about it before but I wasn't quite sure if you would be offended or not, touching you seemed much more forbidden back then." I told him and he looked saddened.

"I wouldn't mind doing it now and again especially if you were particularly in pain. Hearing you moaning and groaning like that though does terrible things to a woman's libido." I told him teasingly and quickly ran out of the dinning room to my own bedroom. I heard him yell after me but I decided to count that little touch of fun as another win in my books. Who knew Byakuya has such a sensitive head?

After I while I wore mu captains haori over my kimono and pocketed my phone and the iPod as well as Ichigo's friendship ring. I slid open the doors to my private gardens and flash stepped over to the make dorms in the academy. Ichigo was never good at hiding his spiritual pressure so it wasn't too difficult to find his room. I knocked hurriedly. The last thing I needed was to be caught in the boy's dorm of a school! After minutes or grumbling Ichigo finally opened the door.

"What the hell?" He asked then looked at me and quickly pulled me into his room before anyone could notice me.

"How have you been? Tell me, what happened?" I asked him casually and sat at the foot of his bed. He sighed and looked really sad. Why wouldn't he? He just lost his family and his life. His wife and his future child. Which reminded me that I would have to tell him about my plans.

"I don't know. We had the basterd Grimjaw beat when out of the blue he attacked a random direction. I thought that Kon had already gotten my sisters to safety to I didn't think to block the attack. When I died it was as if the world just stopped. When I woke up I was trapped in some type of limbo. Hey! I almost forgot, I saw captain Ukitake! He said he is really proud of you!" Ichigo said excitedly. My eyes opened in amazement. And my eyes watered, how I missed Ichigo! And my captain! I dried my eyes and let Ichigo continue.

"He said he wasn't exactly dead but he was no longer able to be alive. I was trapped in some sort of limbo where there was only him and me. He told me that because I was such an anomaly that I could choose where it was that I wanted to go. Did I want to be reborn in the world of the living? Sent to the Soul Society? Heaven? I never truly believed heaven existed but he said I have done enough good for a thousand lifetimes and he would allow me to pass on…and see my mother again." He told me sadly.

"I thought about resting for real this time and seeing my mother again, but he said that the Shiba clan was important to the soul society and that Karin was sent there, I couldn't just leave here alone in a world she didn't understand. Sure, we had family but she didn't know them. And other than being there for her, I decided to let captain Ukitake redesign the path my soul travelled, I can no longer return to the world of the living to reincarnate, now if I died I have to wait to be reborn by a member of the Shiba clan, same for Karin, although Yuzu and my dad are just regular human souls now, at least as far as the records of souls are concerned." He told me and I listened eagerly.

"I also decided to come back here…mostly because of you. I knew that you being you, would blame yourself in some way for what happened and I needed to let you know that what happened wasn't your fault in any way. And even if I am a soul now, I can still watch over my family and kid." He told me and frowned when I cringed.

"Anyway, when we were sent back to Kukaku she kicked my butt for dying. I wanted to find you but my powers were really weak and I never wanted to stand in front of you like a weakling ever again. I decided to do us both a solid and learn more about this world first and become a soul reaper the way everyone else does around here. Sure, I already had my zanpakuto and quiet the reputation but I never really understood Kido, and after learning all of these sword techniques I can really appreciate Byakuya's skill. I never knew how hard he really had to have trained to become as bad ass as he is now." He in respect. If only Byakuya could have heard him now.

"Speaking of Byakuya, try to address him properly? I know it would mean a lot to him, and he has really been through a lot, especially recently. If anyone deserves respect for self-sacrifice and perseverance it is him. Don't ask. I can't tell you anything about Kuchiki affairs or Byakuya upbringing, but he is actually really young, and I mean, really, really young. I thought he had a few millennia on me but he is barely three decades older than me." I told him softly.

"I know. It theory classes they covered the five, well, four now, great noble clans. He was the youngest head of the family there has never been, as well as the youngest captain, also one of the youngest to ever achieve bankai, never mind mastering it." He told me trying to recount what he had learnt. I smiled at how far both Byakuya and Ichigo had come. I wanted to tell Ichigo everything, about Hisana, my baby, Renji, and about my new friendship with Byakuya but I knew that I had somethings to clear up with him first.

"Ichigo. There is something I need to talk to you about. Do you trust my judgement?" I asked him sternly and he frowned and nodded his head.

"Of course, Rukia, you are my best friend. If I didn't even trust myself I know that I can trust you." He told me and I nodded and sighed tiredly.

"Well, you see just after you died I went over to your house and asked your dad a few things and he said that an important part of living a human life was accepting and moving on. It also occurred to be that you have suffered your entire life being able to see spirits, and your mother…And then you also died…I guess what I am trying to say is, it is time for the worlds to be as they were meant to be. The dead and the living weren't meant to live together like we do Ichigo. Its for the best for your family and friends to be cut free from our world. Leave the work of soul reapers to the soul reapers and let them live their lives as they should. Your child has already lost one parent, it doesn't deserve to lose its mother because it and she has high spiritual pressure. You can see them whenever you want, but for their own sake they won't be able to see you." I told him. He sat still as a statue.

"How could you make a decision like this Rukia?! You encouraged me to have a relationship with Orihime, even though you know that I was in love with you! You have Renji! I have a kid of the way, I can't just abandon her!" He yelled at me and I took it.

"Renji is dead Ichigo. He died trying to save you and Karin." I told him and he looked horrified and guilty. He opened his mouth and I forced it shut with my hand.

"I tried to avenge you and him, and I lost my unborn baby because of it. You died Ichigo. You are dead. Accept it. You can watch over them as an angel does, that is how I looked after you when you couldn't see me. I'm happy that you finally found love with Orihime and left a legacy behind. I don't want Orihime to did like your mother did! I don't want your child to die as my baby did! As you did! Orihime is surrounded by family and friends who love her, and Uryu decided to step up and help her raise your son for you. Sure, he loves Orihime but that's how it is supposed to be. A lot has happened since you died Ichigo. A lot of things are different now. I think I'm going to go home a rest. Just let everything get absorbed. Your dad gave me a box of your things, I will keep it for you until you decide to furnish your new lieutenant quarters. Oh, and here, it's your iPod. It really helped me while I was grieving and missing you. And I found this…I am already wearing mine, I hope you don't mind?" I asked him and gestured to the jade ring. He smiled and put his ring on his left middle finger, as well as his wedding ring.

"Thank you Rukia. I'm sorry for snapping at you, we still have a lot to talk about. I understand. Everything. It's for the best I guess. It just hurts to know my child is right there and I won't get to raise him." He told me and hugged me.

"And hey what was that about my new lieutenant quarters?" He asked curiously. I laughed at his boyish face. We could never stay angry with each other.

"You will just have to wait and see, won't you?" I teased and walked to his door.

"Don't you want to stay the night? It wouldn't be the first time we have slept in the same bed." He said awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head.

"Sorry Ichigo, not tonight. Byakuya is waiting up for me." I told him and he raised a brow at me.

"Byakuya? I thought you only called him 'brother' respectfully?" He asked me curiously and narrowed his eyes in consideration.

"We are closer now. You won't believe how wonderful he has been since everything happened. Oh! And Kisuke saved Kon. Now he lives in my cell phone." I told him and he looked relieved. I was about to leave when I stopped and turned back once more.

"Ichigo. Orihime and everyone are having a baby shower next week, do you want to come? We are only closing the connection off after the baby is born. You will have the chance to at least meet the child and bless his life." I told him kindly and his eyes shone with gratitude.

"Thanks. Goodnight Rukia." He said and closed the door behind me. I flash stepped back home and took off my haori and changed into my nightwear. I felt happier than I have felt in…since Ichigo died.

Once I was ready for bed I looked around for my Byabunny. I searched my room over and over again until I remembered that I left it in the lion's den. Byakuya's bedroom. I told Ichigo that he waited for me to return but I only assumed he did, I didn't know if he really did but after looking at his door for a few minutes I determined that there was a faint light emitting from beneath his door. I tentively knocked on his door. I waited until he opened the door before I smiled timidly at him.

"Hi. I'm sorry for disturbing you this late but I left Byabunny in here and I can't really sleep without it." I told him and he smiled mischievously.

"Very well, since you asked so nicely, I will let you sleep in my bed with us. He told me and gestured to where the bunny was sitting on the pillow on the other side of his bed I smile despite myself and cleared my throat.

"Actually, I believe it would be better if Byabunny slept in my bed with me tonight." I told him and looked up shyly. I saw a flicker of disappointment fly through his eyes before he moved aside and let me inside.

"Am I allowed to sleep in your bed as well? How will you explain to him why his mother and father sleep in different beds? We should sleep together for his sake." Byakuya said behind me and I quickly turned and headed for the door. He stopped me and kissed my temple.

"Goodnight." He said and closed his door behind me. My poor brain was positively mushed! I thought about sleeping with him again tonight but decided that I should end it. The ball was in my court so how things happened were up to me.

I had a week to get the lieutenant quarters ready and also a week until Orihime's baby shower. I almost fell asleep when a thought popped up in my mind. I didn't feel like getting up so I dialled his number on my phone and let it ring. After a while a groggy voice answered on the other end.

"Rukia?" It asked tiredly. I smiled a little.

"Hi, sorry for waking you up but I thought I should tell you this before I forget. Ichigo said he really admired you and respects you. He really said that. Can you believe it? I mean its true but for him to acknowledge it is really amazing. Anyway, goodnight, sleep tight!" I chirped and put the phone down. I could almost hear his confusion.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face. Almost everyone I lost has returned to me in some way. I just prayed that Renji would have a good life this time around.


	18. Chapter 18

RUKIA

Shopping went well for me. I found some really cool and comfy coaches and other world of the living creature comforts that Ichigo and Karin would appreciate. I even walked over to the Kurosaki Clinic and asked Isshin is he was willing to part with a few photos, trophy's and other sentimental things that either of them would need. I knew he really appreciated me helping his kids when he couldn't.

I carefully picked out beds and bedding, anything I knew that they needed for a comfortable life. The expense didn't bother me a bit because through the years we were together Ichigo and his family helped me a ton when I needed them.

Finally, the day came when Ichigo and Karin were summoned to the hall of the captain's meeting, their lieutenants were present as well. Captain general Shunsui was happy to appoint both Ichigo and Karin as lieutenants of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. However, things didn't go how anyone expected them to.

"So, Rukia, Karin and I are now your lieutenants?" Ichigo asked me and I smiled widely for everyone in the room to see.

"Oh no, this is your lieutenant badge. I'm only taking Karin." I said and the look on his face fell as if I had just slapped him.

"Six? Six?! You mean Bya- Captain Kuchiki?! No! No way! You are I are a team! We've been working together since the beginning! I can't work with him!" Ichigo yelled and the captains laughed. Byakuya was less than amused.

"I wasn't aware I was looking for a lieutenant." He said bitterly and I smiled impishly at him.

"Well Ichigo you wanted to learn about this world, right? And become stronger? I don't know anyone better than Byakuya to train you and teach you and if anyone could measure up to Renji as a suitable lieutenant of the sixth division it is you. And it is personally of paramount importance to me that the two of you become closer." I told him.

"Understand Kurosaki, we are not working together, you are working under me. I have a mountain of paperwork with your name on it, get to it. I will try to make this work for Rukia's sake." He said and I smiled at his cunning.

"No, not today. Today relax and get settled into your new living quarters. I personally furnished them for you, I hope they are to your likings, I even brought some stuff from home for you guys from your sister and your dad." I told them and walked with them to their new rooms. Byakuya was going to get Ichigo settled in. I had a feeling it wouldn't be pleasant for either of them but it was what it was and I would accept my punishment for making decisions for Byakuya without his knowledge later. I noticed captain Hitsugaya looking at Karin sadly from across the room.

"And here it is, your new room." I told Karin and handed her a key to unlock the room. I manged to get a solar power dish for the use of electricity in both her and Ichigo's rooms. It powered thinks like the television and other things they enjoyed.

"Thank you so much Rukia! I was so scared and so worried when I woke up alone at the Shiba compound. I don't know what I would have done without Ichigo and without you. But are you sure I can be a lieutenant? Don't I need to be strong like you?" She asked me sadly.

"Yes, you are the only person I want as my lieutenant. Its about whether or not we can get along well enough, as for your skills, I will train you personally, you will be my apprentice as Ichigo once was. What I really need your help with is the paper work. I have been sucking it up for months and I'm telling you there is only so much paperwork a person can do alone before you start resenting tree's!" I told her and she laughed. I smiled. It was good to hear her laughing again.

"Just don't worry, we will do everything together and I won't leave you alone at work unless I am sure that you will be fine and even if I have to leave for some reason, my third seated officer Sentaro is very kind and helpful, and I am sure that you will make friends easily, Toshiro Hitsugaya seemed to want to talk to you earlier as well." I told her and she looked thoughtful.

"I see, thank you Rukia. Will you give me a tour? Like where do we get food and where is each division's, where are the lieutenant meeting and stuff?" She asked me awkwardly and I took her hand and pulled her out the door.

I showed her all of the necessary places where she would need to know where to go to, I told her about the Soul Society Woman's Association as well, and on that thought I remembered that I needed to buy something for both her and Ichigo as well and check in by the jewellers. Orihime's baby shower was on Christmas eve so I had excuses to visit the world of the living before then.

I had just finished touring Karin and sent her off to her room to rest when I decided to check in on Ichigo. He needed to come and pick up his things from my room as well. I knocked once and the door opened revealing a face that wasn't Ichigo's. My face flushed when I stared into Byakuya's furious eyes. He walked passed me and didn't say a word. I debated on whether or not I should go after him but decided better of it, at least until I was sure that Ichigo was settling in.

"Ichigo, where are you?" I called out and I heard muffled sounds coming from his room.

Just as I walked in a flood of paperwork almost crushed me. I knew Byakuya wasn't doing it! Poor Ichigo! And he just started out as well.

"Byakuya is an asshole." He growled from his position on the floor. I sighed in exasperation.

"Please try to get along? I know I should have asked the two of you first but I didn't think it would turn out well so I figured once it was done things would just themselves out." I told him and he sent me a dirty look.

"Do you at least like your new accommodations? I tried to make it as much like home as I could. Here, let me help you sort through the paperwork, it will go easier this way." I offered and he thanked me. We spoke about many things as we sorted through the paperwork, except for Hisana. Apart from my miscarriage, that was the sorest of all topics for me, but he needed to know, or at least I needed to tell him.

Once we were done we collapsed exhaustedly onto him couch. I told him about Hisana, about how I died, how she hurt Byakuya, how she almost dragged me to hell with her and how dirtied and shameful I felt. How I wanted to die. Ichigo hurt as much as I did and he was just as terrified as Byakuya was when I told him that I tried to fix Hisana's mistakes by killing myself.

At the end once all our tears were shed and we were exhausted I asked him if her still had the energy to collect the box from my room and he agreed to just do it to get it done. Of all the difficult things I talked to him about I didn't tell him about the more intimate moments with Byakuya.

Ichigo took his things and went home alone. I was starving! I decided to go and get something from the kitchen since I didn't want to sit in an awkward silence with Byakuya during dinner. I didn't get further than my room however because his door opened and we walked out into my path. I stood frozen.

"Aren't you coming to dinner?" He asked me and I was about to say I wasn't hungry when my stomach decided to make a monstrous sound. I walked silently behind him to the table.

"So, you really haven't touched your paperwork in months, have you?" I asked him and stretched and cringed when something clicked in my back. That got his attention.

"I don't know what you are talking about. Are you injured somewhere?" He asked me and I sent him my deadliest glare.

"You bullied Ichigo with paperwork and who do you think had to help him sort through all of it? My feet are sore, my legs are sore, my arms are sore, my back is sore, my neck is sore and I have a killer headache, all my reward for wanting two of the people I care for most in the world to get along and help each other. No matter how mad you are at me you will come to realise the genius of my plan someday. No one is more loyal or dedicated than Ichigo, he will serve you well if you treat him well." I told him. And collapsed onto the table in agony.

"Do you want me to call for Isane? And I am not angry with you anymore. Do you want me to try and massage you?" He offered and I whimpered in agony.

"What I want, is to heal in the spring by the training grounds only its dark out now and I'm too sore to defend myself if another peeping tom comes strolling by." I told him sorrowfully and his face flushed.

"Well I can go with you. if you keep at least your undergarments on there shouldn't be a problem." He offered painfully got to my feet.

"Alright, but you have to take me there." I said and stretched my arms out in front of me. He nodded and picked me up carefully. He flash stepped to the training grounds and built a campfire while I undressed and walked into the spring. I sighed and let myself float to the top of the water. Eventually I felt well enough to swim around a bit. I knew he was watching me so I got the most brilliant idea of all.

"You know you can see me better from close up. Its not fair that you get to stare at my almost naked body again and I have absolutely no eye candy to speak of, besides I wouldn't mind some company and a massage. It is more or less your fault that I hurt in places I never knew I had." I told him and after a few moments of consideration he started taking off his clothes and neatly folding them on the rock beside mine.

I was feeling in a naughty mood tonight and I decided that I would tease him if he ever let the opportunity arise. He slowly got into the water and walked over towards me. I swam over to the deeper end and sighed as the warmth soothed my aches away. I watched him come closer and closer towards me.

I watched carefully how his muscles moved as he walked towards me. I was staring. He knew I was staring. When he was close enough I removed my undershirt and his eyes widened. I looked at him curiously.

"I have to expose my back if you want to massage me properly. What's with that face? Did you see something you liked?" I teased and his eyes shifted over to mine. I turned away from him and covered my chest with my shirt. I pulled myself up comfortably on a rock and moved my hair out of the way so he could get a better access to my back. He started massaging my back and I hummed in appreciation.

"I see a lot of things I like." He said after I had almost forgot what u had asked him. I shivered. He pressed a particularly sensitive part of my back and I moaned and bit my lip. He hesitated before continuing his massage. I didn't spare him a single sound of appreciation. I was certain that I would haunt his dreams tonight. Wait, since when did I want him to think of me like that? We he was done I turned around and thanked him with a smile.

"This hot spring really is good." He said after a while and relaxed into the water with me. I leaned my head onto his shoulder and sighed contentedly.

"It is and only a handful of people know about it." I told him happily. He slowly tried to put his arm around me but I could tell that the naked proximity was bothering him slightly. I moved closer to him and sat on his lap. I slowly and gently touched each of the defined muscles on his chest and stomach with admiration.

"Rukia. What do you look for in a man?" He asked me suddenly startling me. I thought about it for a while.

"Someone who knows what he wants and takes it. Someone who would treat me well and let me care for them in return. Someone who values family above all. Someone who is willing to try and understand me. Someone who would never ever hurt me and love me with everything he is. Someone who can protect me if I ever can't protect myself. Someone who I can tell all of my secrets to, good ones, bad ones, ones that aren't mine to share but burden me. He definitely has to be attractive." I finished off contemplatively. He shot me a strange look and I shrugged.

"What? Are you saying you want ugly children?" I teased him and he snorted. I sighed sadly and moved out of Byakuya's lap.

"Who wouldn't want some who loves them for everything that they are? But someone like that is almost impossible to find." I said sadly and to no one in particular.

"Hey, its starting to get cold I think we should get out before we get sick." I said and turned my head only to see him standing right behind me. He moved his hand over my bare stomach, which was incredibly daring for him, and I know he must have felt the shivers he caused making my stomach tremble.

"You know, I am all of the things you look for in a man." He told me gently and stroked my stomach gently under the water.

"And you are exactly what I look for in a life partner." He said kissing my shoulder softly.

"I don't know, there are too many issues." I told him and he frowned.

"You are the daughter of Hisana, we are not related so that isn't an issue and it won't take long for the public to accept it. I don't see her when I look at you, if that is what is troubling you, and I have long lost my love of her. I can deal with any family disputes that may arise, they don't have the right to interfere in my private relationships. If your fear is that you love Kurosaki instead of me I will try my best for your sake to kill these feelings I have for you, but I hope that it will not be so. If you wonder if my feelings are based on attraction alone instead of love, you only need to think about our time together to know that I love you with all my heart. If the issue is that you don't know if you can love me the same way, then know that I will wait for you until whenever you are sure you are. If you worry about our souls, you shouldn't. I am young but I am also one of the strongest Kuchiki's in the main family line, I am sure that I will be fine and so will our descendants, I am sure that I will take you into the family reincarnation pool to reincarnate by my side for however long time exists. I just hope that you will give me a chance." He said softly and kindly with all the love a person could find in his eyes.

What could a person say to that? He told me every reason why I couldn't say no to him! He told me that he is all of the things that I need in a man. And what's worse is that it is true. Still, the family had secrets and problems that sometimes-required extreme punishments.

"If we did end up together and we had a child. If that child broke the law somehow…you told me that you wouldn't be able to kill me, and I want to believe you but could you kill a child born from the love we have developed for each other at that point? Byakuya, could you kill our own child for any reason?" I asked him without looking at him. I knew that if I asked him to promise me he wouldn't he probably wouldn't but it would tarnish his legacy.

"If such a thing had to happen then it would be our fault as parents for allowing our child to fall to ruin. I wouldn't be able to kill our own child, it would be too painful, and even if I could have endured it for the sake of the clan, I would never be able to face you again. I would seal the child away as Koga was once sealed, and hope that one of our other children can have the strength to illiminate their parent's shame, however if a child of ours touched the forbidden records of the gods, I would have no choice but to kill them, for the good of the balance of the world itself. It is greater and more important than you or I." He told me and I frowned, that is the first I had heard of it, but his answer was acceptable. I just didn't know how to begin being closer to him as a man.

"I will give you a chance then, but our relationship will have to go at its own pace. We have about a hundred thousand years together, being absolutely certain about our choices is incredibly important." I told him and he smiled at me.

"Also, how would we treat each other in public?" I asked and bit my lip nervously. That was always the bigger bad among noble families. The public eye. He sighed and leaned his head on mine.

"We will just have to live and learn. Neither of us should ever shame ourselves in public or act inappropriately, the Kuchiki mask of emotions was created for that very reason. I'm not saying you have to pretend to be cold and heartless, that would be impossible for you, but try to show less of your private thoughts and feelings in public." He told me and I nodded. Nothing else entered my mind after 'live and learn'.

I was about to continue walking out of the spring when he held my shoulder in place, causing me to look back at him.

"Another thing. I know you and Kurosaki are close, but please limit physical interaction between the two of you and let him know that you are spoken for, unless you decide you do not want me." He told me softly.

"You are also allowed in my bed whenever you wish for company. I sleep much better with you near me." He told me and I flushed before quickly walking to the rock where our clothes lay.

He let me dress first and gave me my privacy, we took out time getting home both lost in thought. I may have told him that we could try a relationship together, but honestly, I didn't know how I felt for him right now and worse, I promised to keep a distance between myself and Ichigo, which would be impossible. I did really love Ichigo, I always have. I just don't know what kind of love that is.

I didn't quite understand what I had just agreed to. How could Byakuya even think of beginning a permanent relationship again, so early in our lives? We could live up to one hundred thousand years! Could be really be together that long?

BYAKUYA

I didn't regret speaking my thoughts to her, I was honestly surprised that she would give me a chance. But it hurt me to see her so indecisive. She probably did regret her decision, and that hurt even more. She said she wanted a person who wouldn't be afraid to go after what he desires? That is what made me speak up. Otherwise I would have probably stayed silent and let her decide on how she feels for Kurosaki first before giving me my chance. Now I run the risk of losing her to another person.

We arrived home and bid each other goodnight. It was silly of me to hope that she would sleep with me tonight when she was still processing recent developments. She now knew how I saw her as more than what we are supposed to be and that made me feel exposed. She could hurt me deeply.

As I settled down for the night I noticed a flickering light beside my pillow. I never really had a use for the cell phone she gave me, other than listening to music and taking the rare photos, mostly of her or of the garden. Perhaps I should carry it on my person as Rukia does.

I reached out and picked up the device. The first picture I came across was on its home screen. A picture I took of Rukia sleeping beneath the cherry blossom tree. I looked through my gallery and found myself smiling at the pictures I had taken at different times and places. I had taken many photos of her asleep at her desk from over working herself. Each time I found her in such a way I had the desire to capture the moment, even if I had seen it many times before.

I put off the device and turned away from the light of the moon. Usually I when out for my nightly walks or spent hours of my daily life honouring my memory of Hisana. Even now a sharp pain tore at my heart. I couldn't truly stop loving her, even after knowing the truth about her and the reality of our relationship to each other.

While it was true that I do not think of Rukia and Hisana as anything alike, and that I wasn't attracted to one because of the other, I knew that I was grateful to Hisana. She did what she did for selfish reasons but because of her request I found my comfort.

Rukia has been holding me together for so long. And if it weren't for Hisana, I might not have ever met her or found her. Hisana was my first love, my first friend and the person who has given me family. I don't even feel like my time spent dedicated to her over the years was wasted. I was a good husband, as I was supposed to be. I didn't pity Hisana anymore for not meeting Rukia in life or being damned.

I just hope that speaking of my feelings hasn't turned Rukia away from me. I promised myself that I wouldn't pursue a relationship until I was ready and I am not ready. But the thought of losing her to someone else terrified me! To see her every day with someone else? Loving someone else? I snorted at the thought. Perhaps my worries were baseless.

After all, Rukia wanted beautiful children, and any child with Kurosaki's or Abarai's hair colour was sure to make her unhappy. It surprised me when she said something like that. All this time after being torn between Kurosaki and Abarai and she says that genes matter. I was certain that any children she could have with me would be beautiful. I smiled despite myself, thinking of how wonderful she looked holding the Kuchiki child in the fourth division. I knew that I was raising my hopes far too high and that lowering them for self-protection purposes was important, but once my mind was open to possibility it wanted to plan ahead for the future.

I gasped and sat up in my futon. Tomorrow was that human girls baby shower! That meant that Christmas was the day after! We had never celebrated it before but since the Women's Association was giving gifts to everyone that meant that I had to get something for Rukia. But what? I bit my lip in panic. She wasn't like other noble women, buying her expensive jewels and clothes wouldn't really impress her.

I couldn't take her away from her work either, not that the Kurosaki's or rather, the Shiba's, are here she would want to stay here. I needed time away from her to be able to look for something she would like, but when would that be? I knew she was supposed to leave for the world of the living again for a last-minute shopping trip but I couldn't be in the world of the living the same time as her.

I would have to carefully calculate when she left and returned from the world of the living to see what I can put together. Dread filled me as I remembered that tomorrow was also the day that I was to attend the funeral and memorial service of the four elders and that cousin of mine and his wife's joined funeral.

I got up groggily and decided to get started tonight. Otherwise I would never have enough time to fit in my personal needs along with the obligations of my duties.

I just hoped that she liked what I planning on giving her, after all my taste on objects of the world of the living are severely lacking.

RUKIA

Things hadn't gone quiet as I thought they would. My gift for Byakuya wasn't completed yet and Christmas day was tomorrow! Ordinarily all stores would be closed but as my purchase was already paid for and orders for today they said they would do their best to finish it today and that I could pick it up at the jeweller's personal home tomorrow.

I managed to get Ichigo, Karin and the human friends of ours gifts as well. What panicked me most was that things were really quiet at home. We didn't talk much and I knew that the funerals taking place today were obligatory for us both to attend, but for some reason Byakuya told me to go out and do anything I had to do.

It worried me because I feared something else bad might have been happening at home and he just wanted me out of the house so that he could deal with it himself. I doubted he would ask me for help if he needed it either.

I decided to do some last-minute clothing shopping for the baby shower tonight. The purpose of the baby shower was supposed to be for mom and baby. So, I couldn't wear anything that abstracted the attention of the ones the party was for.

I also had to avoid wearing any of Ichigo's hoodies or jackets. I had given most of them back to him but I still had a few I kept out of sentiment. I expected that it would upset Orihime and that was exactly what I was trying not to do. And I think it would upset Byakuya as well. He always seemed to dislike when I accepted things from Ichigo, funny enough he didn't seem to mind Karin in the slightest.

Something caught my eye through the window and I decided to see what it was. It was some sort of forked Alice band with fake precious stones imbedded in it. They had different colours to choose from and I couldn't choose just one. I ended up walking out of the store with about ten of them because I couldn't decide which looked best on me, and the different colours would complement different kimonos so I couldn't just get one.

Since I had decided to grow my hair long I had started taking an interest in hair accessories. They didn't need to be expensive or elaborate, they just needed to look cute and compliment my natural appearance. The only thing that stopped me from trying interesting new hairstyles was Byakuya. I don't think he would appreciate me walking around the Seireitei wearing strange human accessories.

I wanted to change my captain's division haori into a hoodie, and I know the captain general wouldn't mind much but Byakuya would greatly disapprove. I was having one made anyway. I would like to see if I could get away with changing the dress code, even if it was only for myself and Karin.

I opened the Senkaimon home and put my purchases away with my other hair accessories. I searched for Byakuya's spiritual pressure but I couldn't find him anywhere. Either he was at work or at a funeral. I cringed internally at the latter. It must have been terrible for him to have to face the scorn of many family members who agreed with the deceased and believed that they were unjustly punished.

I decided to have a long soak in the bath before getting ready for Orihime's baby shower. Ichigo would let me know later if he wanted to come with us. He said that showing up now might just make things worse. They have begun healing and moving on, especially Orihime and Uryu. He didn't want to upset the relations between anyone, still Karin insisted on coming so that she could say goodbye properly since her death was so unexpected.

I decided that I would change into my nightwear before dressing my gigai. I would probably be dead tired by the time we returned anyway so at least I wouldn't need to undress and dress again before falling into my covers.

I decided to dress my gigai in a light grey tracksuit and wear a black pair of sneakers. I took out the Alice band with dark grey gem like stones and tightly fit it onto my head. I decided to wait in the gardens for someone to find me. I hadn't noticed before, but an old Japanese garden swing stood overlooking the pond. My curiosity got the better of me and I walked up to it, inspecting it properly before dusting it off and taking a seat. I was worried that it would break from age or that it couldn't hold my weight, but it seemed fine.

I rested my head on one of the ropes supporting the swing and gently swung myself by pushing with my feet. I was begging to doze off when I felt a familiar spiritual pressure approach the garden.

"It can't be fun sitting all alone out here. Aren't you lonely?" Asked Ichigo as he stood behind me and pushed the swing gently for me from behind.

"It's relaxing out here by myself, not that I wouldn't enjoy company. I have the feeling that I will rarely be lonely now that you and Karin are here. You have a way of spicing things up around the Seireitei." I told him and a small smile tugged at my lips.

"I do what I can. It's been a bother trying to dodge Kenpachi and Ikkaku for the last two days. Can fighting me really be that entertaining?" He asked agitatedly. I looked up at him and grinned.

"Only for me, because I know I can beat you." I told him and he grinned like an idiot.

"Only because you don't play fair." He retorted and I laughed out. My laughter died however when I saw that he wasn't using his newly acquired gigai.

"You're not coming." I stated in factuality. He frowned at my sad tone but shook his head.

"It just wouldn't feel right. I will go if you think I should but I will have my chance to look out for them when they can't see me, I shouldn't disrupt their new peace they managed to find now, especially with Orihime so close to having the baby. The stress won't be good for anyone. It would kill be to watch her cry, you know?" He asked me sadly. I sighed and nodded my head.

He made the right choice, even if it was a difficult choice. I would have to do that as well, but not now when everyone still had fresh wounds.

"Would you like me to tell anyone that you are alright? I have to at least tell your father, but I won't tell anyone else if you don't want me to." I offered him and he hummed in thought.

"Could you tell Chad? I know it would mean a lot to him to know that I am safe. And, if you could get him alone, could you tell Uryu? I actually wanted to thank him in person, but I don't want anyone else seeing me, you know?" He said as he scratched the back of his head.

"I get that. You will have to do it soon though, I am in charge of authorising travel between worlds now so if you want me to ask him when he is free so you guys can talk, I can do that for you. Something I suppose I need to teach you is how to open a private Senkaimon with a hell butterfly. Of course you need my authorisation first but I will grant it if you ask me first, as long as you come back." I told him, looking out at the pond.

"Thanks, Rukia, I would appreciate that. How are you feeling? I know you don't talk about it, but isn't all the baby stuff hurting you? If you need to talk about it, I'm here for you, you know, that right? Same with Renji, I know you've got to miss him." He said sincerely. I looked up at his face from my seated position and smiled sadly at him.

"Thanks, Ichigo. You know, somehow everyone I lost has returned to me somehow except for Renji. I mean, I don't know what I expected really, fining you was incredibly lucky after your life as Kaien ended. I don't know if I will every find Renji again, and even if I did, I would have to leave him be. But if I could just know that he would be loved in this life time that's all I need to know. The world of the living is terrible in a lot of ways and what if his parents didn't want a baby or if they are abusive? What is they died and he is orphaned?" I told him worriedly.

"If there is one thing I've learned for certain it is that we will always see each other again. Our ties with each other are far too strong to be broken no matter how many lifetimes we are torn from each other I know we will always meet the people we were close to again, we can't help it, we're drawn to them like magnets." He told me and I swung my feet on the swing.

Ichigo left after a while longer of trying to convince me that everything would be alright in the end. As he said, 'we have a ton of time on our hands to find our lost friends'. Indeed, we do.

I walked in to my room and noticed Byakuya's light on in his room. Once I was sure that I was ready and had all the presents we were giving them, I knocked on his door. I was surprised at his attire to say the least. He wasn't dressed much differently to me, wearing a light grey tracksuit and black sneakers.

"What's this, are we dressing to match each other now?" I teased him and laughed. His ears brightened a little and he looked away.

"Well, we do look good together anyway. I wasn't sure what one would wear to such an occasion and decided to ask you, but you were outside with Kurosaki and I didn't want to disturb you." He told me and his shoulders tensed a little. My smile dropped.

"Ichigo is our friend, you are always welcome around us when we are together. This is our home, you don't need to feel left out. But thank you for the privacy anyway. We weren't exactly talking about light topics." I told him and he looked down at me sadly. I held his gaze for a moment before looking down shyly. I peeped up and him and tried to smile.

"We should get going, Karin is waiting for us at my office. Can you please carry the big present? It's kind of heavy for me and Karin won't have much luck with it either." I asked him hesitantly. He nodded and looked for the best way to pick it up. We met Karin and entered the Senkaimon together.

"Now remember, under no circumstances are we to mention Ichigo to anyone. Especially Yuzu, do you understand Karin? That is what Ichigo wants. He told me who I could tell, you are free to talk to your dad about everything if you want to, just preferably in privacy." I told her and she saluted me.

"Yes, captain!" She said and I nudged her playfully.

"Now, don't you start with that. You are allowed to call me by my name as you always have. Just because I am your superior doesn't mean that our relationship with one another has changed at all, though you might want to remember to address the other captains and lieutenants formally unless they ask you not to." I told her. It was strange seeing Karin a head taller than me since I met her when she was a head shorter than me.

I rang the door bell and stepped back, letting Karin step forward.

"Hello welcome- Karin!" Cried Yuzu and jumped into her sister's arms. They were quickly pulled inside where they rejoiced with their father and friends. I closed the door behind Byakuya and I and we placed the presents next to a pile of other presents and walked to Orihime to greet her.

"Oh, Rukia! I'm so glad the two of you could make it! I can't believe Karin is with us again! Tell me Rukia, have you found Ichigo yet? Is he going to come back as well?" I cringed slightly as her words. 'With us again.', 'Come back as well.'. There was no coming back from the dead. It was better after all for Ichigo to stay away.

"We're happy to make it. Im really sorry, we only found Karin and by chance at that, we haven't found a trace of Ichigo anywhere." I told her and her face dropped. I felt my ears sting with shame, and the glance I caught from Byakuya said that was surprised I would really lie for Ichigo. The doubt and sadness on Orihime's face didn't go unnoticed.

"Oh, I see…well, the two of you can make yourselves comfortable, I have a few more guests to welcome. And look at the two of you, dressing the same way! You really do look like biological siblings!" She laughed merrily and walked away. Byakuya looked at me curiously and I smiled tiredly.

"Well, we do share many physical similarities and being dressed alike like this either means that we are family, or that we are the kind of couple that likes to dress alike. Because of how they see our relationship with each other, to them we are bonding through our clothes. Don't think too much about it though, Ichigo and I usually dressed as opposites. I like having someone who compliments me well like this." I said and smiled shyly up at him. He smiled and lifted his hand to touch my Alice band.

"What is this?" He asked in mild interest.

"Oh, it's a plastic hair ornament that the humans like wearing. I saw it today while I was walking around the world of the living a bought a few that would look nice with different sets of clothing." I said softly.

"It suits you well, it looks like a crown for a princess." He said and I gaped embarrassedly at him.

"Thank you I guess, but that wasn't my intention. I only dressed casually like this so that all the attention would be on Orihime. I didn't want to wear anything too flashy and end up stealing her spotlight. I decided to wear this ornament because the grey stones didn't stand out too much but still looked good. I am no princess, and tonight it is Orihime who is supposed to look like a princess, not me." I told him shyly. I looked at me curiously for a moment.

"Being adopted into the family as my sister makes you a princess. And in the world of the living you were going to be born a princess as well, anyway you look at it you are a princess, why do you dislike it so much? Most girls dream of being princesses." He asked me curiously. I looked down sadly and pulled his hand towards the couch with me.

"I might have liked it if I didn't grow up in Hanging Dog where girls were scared for good reason of being beautiful. I assume you know what would happen to them? After being brought into the Kuchiki family, the only people who were nice to me were the ones who wanted something from me for some reason. Whenever I was called the Rukongai princess or the Kuchiki princess, it was never in a good way. It was mocking, resentful and filled with scorn." I told him as I sat next to him. He clenched his jaw in sorrow.

"I don't mind being called a princess you though. It's sort of charming. And coming from someone who knows me, I will accept it as a compliment." I told him gently and nudged him gently. He didn't really react but I knew he understood the meaning. I didn't mind being his princess.

"Okay! Now that everyone is here, lets start opening presents! Yuzu is going to pick out random presents from the pile, and I am going to have to guess who they are from!" She squealed excitedly. Her stomach looked like a melon now, a really, really big melon. I saw that Karin didn't have a place to sit and called her over to me.

"You can have my seat." I told her and sat up. She hurriedly shook her head.

"It's fine, I don't mind standing." She said timidly and I forced her to sit in my place gently.

"Nonsense, this was your home, you have every right to be comfortable in it, besides, I have a place to sit." I told her teasingly and sat across Byakuya's lap and hers. She laughed happily and pulled my legs further up her lap so I would be more comfortable. Byakuya smiled down at me and squeezed my hip with his free hand. I noticed Uryu narrow his eyes at the hand before pretending he didn't see anything. He would no doubt want to talk to me about it later, and that was just fine by me, I needed to get him alone after all.

The presents took the better part of the night to unwrap and by the time Orihime was done we could all see how drained she was. Some people got up to stretch their legs and get some fresh air, or to head over to the table filled with catered foods. I told Byakuya that they were safe to eat this time and both he and Karin laughed a little at my joke.

While they were sampling the food, I tried to find Chad. He was looking out at the moon, standing beside Kago and his other school friends.

"Hey, big guy. You look like you have a lot on your mind, want to take a walk with me?" I offered. He followed me obediently to the built-in barbeque and helped me climb onto the wall.

"I found Ichigo, he says he misses you and he wants you to know that he will be alright." I told him and his eyes widened.

"You really found him?" He asked me curiously and I nodded sadly.

"I did, but he doesn't want to come back here. Everyone is moving on with their lives and healing. Its not right for the dead to coexist with the living. He is the new lieutenant of squad six, he had a home, family and friends there, he will be alright. We will all see each other again someday, in this life or the next, I am sure we will all always be connected to each other. Have you decided what you want to do about your powers? You can keep them you know, they are yours. It would just be better for everyone if you didn't. I talked to Ichigo and he agrees with me too, so does Byakuya." I explained to him.

"It's alright, I get it. I don't need these powers anymore, I'm done fighting. I trust you and I trust Ichigo, if you believe this is the best then that is what I believe as well. I will miss you both though. At least you and Ichigo are together now." He told me and I sighed. Together? I guess, but not how he thinks.

"Thank you, Chad, really. Do you think you could tell Uryu I am out here? Ichigo asked me to make a rondeau for him so he could thank Uryu for helping Orihime and his child. Once we decide on the date and time I will ask him to tell you too, if you want to meet up with Ichigo one last time?" I offered gently and smiled and nodded.

"Thanks', I would like that. I will go get Uryu for you." He said and headed inside. I sighed and placed my arms on either side of the wall I was sitting on and stretched my face towards the moon with my eyes closed.

"You look beautiful in the moonlight." A voice startled me out of my pose. I looked down and saw Byakuya looking up at me admiringly. I smiled at him.

"Enjoy the strange foods? Want to help me down?" I asked and lifted my arms towards him. He was so shy, he didn't know where to touch. Before he could decide someone stepped in front of him, towards me.

"Let me." Said Uryu and gently placed his hand under my arms and lifted me off of the wall.

"It's good to see you Rukia…captain Kuchiki." He greeted me kindly and Byakuya stiffly.

"Did you want you talk to me alone?" He asked me softly, hinting towards Byakuya to leave, probably because he wanted to talk to me without Byakuya there as well. I bit my cheek briefly before walking up to Byakuya and hugging him.

"I won't be long, see you inside?" I asked him and he looked down at me and then glared at Uryu icily. He nodded and left us.

"What exactly is going on between the two of you?" He asked me curiously and I sighed tiredly.

"We since everything happened many things have changed between us, we are close friends now." I told him carefully.

"I am glad to know that you and your brother are growing closer." He said purposely and evaluated my reactions carefully.

"You know that we aren't really related Uryu." I told him gently and his eyes widened is shock and horror.

"Rukia, is he forcing you to do anything? I saw the way he touched you earlier, that was way out of line! If you need help please tell me." He asked me urgently and I smiled sadly and shoot my head.

"He isn't that kind of man, and I am not one to be forced to do anything. Thank you for worrying about me though. If you have time I could tell you a bit of how our relationship has changed?" I asked him and he nodded, taking me towards the chairs outside. I told his about how Hisana was actually my mother and about the change in our relationship since then. He looked troubled but he accepted that I knew what I was doing. Even if I wasn't too sure about that myself.

"As long as you know what you are doing. He is dangerous, I just don't want to see you getting hurt." He told me and I smiled at him wistfully.

"You know Ichigo would never let anyone harm me." I told him and stared at him until he realised what I meant.

"I thought- "He started but I interrupted him.

"That I didn't find him. I did, he is the new lieutenant under Byakuya. He supports the decision to keep the worlds separated for the sake of the living. But he asked me if I could make a secret meeting for the two of you. Don't look so worried, I explained everything to him myself. He is glad that someone is there for Orihime and you don't know how much he appreciates you stepping in to act as a father for his child, he couldn't have asked for anyone better." I told him and squeezed his arm comfortingly.

"But I'm not Ichigo! What if the child doesn't see me as his father? I wont ever be as good as Ichigo for the child or Orihime!" He yelled sadly.

"That's not true. Ichigo may be his biological father, but you are Ichigo's cousin, and one of his best friends. I am sure that you will be an excellent father! That child won't be able to help loving you! You will be the only father the child knows, and even when he learns of the truth one day he wont love you any less. You are a good man, Uryu. I am sure that in time once Orihime accepts that Ichigo is gone that she will love you just as much as she did him. She would be a fool not to!" I told him and stood up to come and give him a hug.

"Rukia- Thank you. I don't know what any of s are going to do without you." He told me kindly and I smiled.

"You will all be happy, I hope. We will all see each other again one day, I know we will. But do me a favour? Please don't tell anyone about Ichigo? The only people he wants to know are you, Chad and his dad and even then, he probably won't come back to you after meeting with you. He just wants to thank you and say goodbye." I told him and he smiled at me.

"Sure. Things will be a bit hectic around here and Orihime encouraged me to go drinking on New Year's Eve with the guys so perhaps Ichigo could meet me an hour before midnight on New Year's Eve on top of our old high schools' roof?" He offered and I smiled.

"That would be perfect, good thinking! Oh, but could you perhaps ask Chad to meet you both there then? A little after you and Ichigo have had time to talk? I'm sure that they would both appreciate it." I told him and we stood up to leave. I stopped and pulled Uryu's sleeve.

"Chad is going to sacrifice his powers for a better human life, and to help protect the child. What are you and Orihime going to do?" I asked him hesitantly. He looked sad.

"I agree with you. I was a proud quincy but now I just want to live. Orihime wants to keep her abilities because she wants to see Ichigo again. We will try to convince her, don't you worry. I'm sure the baby's safety comes above all else to her." He told me and we headed inside. I was positively freezing! And coming from me that is saying something! I walked up to Byakuya and hugged him.

"I think I'm turning into an ice cube! I might need body heat to save me from hypothermia!" I told him teasingly and he smiled down at me.

"Are we ready to go home?" He asked me quietly and I gestured to where Isshin sat on the couch with Karin.

"Let's give them a moment. I don't know if they will be able to see each other again for a while. And I need to tell him that Ichigo is okay. Karin may have already, but he did ask me to tell his dad so I should." I told him and he nodded.

"I am surprised to see that you would lie for Kurosaki, to the mother of his child no less. She didn't believe you. I know why you did and I agree with your judgement, but you may not part as friends after this has ended." He told me quietly.

"I'm sure everything will work out in the end." I told him, not addressing the matter of me lying.

When Karin came over to me I left her with Byakuya to go and talk to Isshin. He made a fuss of me as always and hugged me more tightly than is healthy. He thanked me for taking care of his kids and wished me happiness, even if it wasn't with Ichigo. I was startled by his insinuation, but I understood well enough to know that he too had been watching me during the evening. I told him of where Uryu and Chad were meeting Ichigo and he said we would wait until Ichigo was alone before speaking with him.

Karin, Byakuya and I left to go back home and I saw Karin to her door before Byakuya and I flash stepped home. He said that he had something he wanted to show me when we were changed and comfortable.

I met him outside of his room and he lead me through the less used corridors of the main house to a set of familiar doors, Ginrei's study. At least that is where I thought we were going before he moved to open the doors opposite to it.

"I struggled for a long while to find something I could give you as a suitable gift, you have quiet unique tastes so it was difficult to find something for you that I knew you would enjoy. This room is yours now, I hope it is to your liking." He told me and held the door open for me looking at me intently.

I looked into his eyes as I walked towards the room and looked away only as I entered the room. The walls were bleached a whiteish grey colour and the room was quite large but absolutely empty except for one object in the room stationed against the wall.

It was a gorgeous white piano. I walked closer to take a better look at it but I couldn't help but smile widely at all of the thought put into preparing the room. Pale white, pink and blue bubble rabbit stickers decorated the front of the piano, along with white snowflake stickers with bright blue glitter of different sizes. On the top of the piano rested five adorable stuffer rabbit toys, all in adorable outfits!

"And you said it was difficult to find something to my tastes." I teased him smiled mischievously at him.

"Is it to your liking?" He asked me softly and I grinned up at him happily.

"I love it! But you make it really difficult to match gifts you know. I don't think mine will impress you nearly as much as yours did me. This room is really pretty! And you decorated the piano beautifully!" I told him happily. He smiled at me.

"I'm glad that you find it to your tastes." He said and walked into the room further to look out of the window.

"Why the room outside of grandfathers study though?" I asked him curiously and he smiled sadly as me.

"It is my study now. And since one room in the hall is dedicated to my needs, I decided to dedicate the room across from it to your needs. A bonus would be that I would get to listen to you play while I work, and I wanted to choose an area that you were fond of in the house, although you haven't been here for a while." He told me. I smiled cheekily up at him.

"Oh, you have no idea how much I loved teasing you! You were so adorable! And quick tempered. And clumsy! And- "I didn't get to finish teasing him because he pulled me towards him in what would be our first proper kiss. Nothing mind-blowingly out of this world, but something sweet and innocent.

"You really don't take being teased well, do you?" I asked him playfully and I finally saw a flicker of the child he had once been inside of him again. It excited me!

"You know, I really liked you back then. I understand why you tried to keep your distance from me, but you could have been nicer to me. I was trying to impress you with my training and you were nodding off against a tree, and then you left when I tried to keep you company. That was the day I understood how mean pretty girls could be." He said jokingly. I burst out laughing.

"I do remember making you blush with nothing but a smile, if I remember correctly. And grandfather saw it as well! Oh, I almost forgot. I took a photo of you back then. I think that is how you noticed me sitting by the windowsill." I told him and his eyes widened at me.

"Don't give me that look! How else could I keep that adorable face somewhere where I could see it forever? I was always told stories about how you were when you were younger but I could never picture it because you are completely different now." I told him and he smiled fondly at a memory only he could know of.

"Well, I smile more often now, if only with you, does that make you happier?" He asked me slyly.

My cheeks flamed at the memory. I gaped and stuttered before deciding I wouldn't want to say anything at the moment anyway in case I embarrass myself further. I cleared my throat and looked away.

"It's getting late, we should really go to bed. I need to pick something up tomorrow morning sometime from the world of the living, and I need to go there alone. I won't be long though." I told him and waited for him outside of the room. He followed me and we made our way to our rooms. He hesitated for a moment before entering his room. I entered mine and picked up Byabunny.

I didn't know what was making Byakuya act so much more forward, and so much more like he used to be as a boy but I decided I like the change. I walked over to his door silently and knocked softly. He said I could come in so I came in slowly and hesitantly. He looked surprised to see me. I figured that since he gave me such a wonderful gift I could at least give him a decent night's rest.

I got into the other side of his bed slowly and tucked myself in.

"Goodnight Byakuya." I whispered softly into Byabunny's fur. I could feel his eyes resting on me but I refused to look up.

"Goodnight…mean pretty girl." He whispered teasingly. I opened my eyes and glared at him. I crawled over to him and kissed him softly on the lips, as soon as he reached for me though I quickly bounced back to my side of the bed. He looked at me in surprise.

"I'm mean remember? No cuddles or kisses for you." I told him and turned around so that I wasn't facing him. There was silence for a long while until he burst out laughing at the top of his lungs!

He could have woken the dead!

All too soon the room was in silence. I lay awake and grew agitated because sleep wouldn't come to me.

"Hey, Rukia? Are you awake in there? Wake up! Rukia? Rukia?" Came the rather loud whisper outside of my garden doors at my own bed room. For a moment I froze in panic. Did Ichigo know I wasn't in my own room? I sighed and got up slowly. I cringed as I noticed Byakuya's open eyes observing me with interest. My cheeks heated. Ichigo wasn't going to shut up any time soon and if I didn't go back to my own room now, sooner or later when Ichigo found a way into my room he would notice that I wasn't in it. My ears burned in shame as I quickly fled Byakuya's room and returned to my own, quickly closing the door and walking to my garden doors to open them from Ichigo.

"Don't you sleep, you idiot?!" I yelled at him and socked him on the noggin. He cried out loudly in pain.

"Don't be so loud midget, you're going to wake up Byakuya and then I'm going to have to run for my life!" He whispered loudly and dramatically. I snorted in disbelief.

"You seriously think anyone in this house is asleep after your 'whispering'? I swear, you are an idiot. What is so important that you would pull me out of bed for?" I asked him curiously. Truthfully, I wasn't really tired anymore and I was getting restless laying in Byakuya's bed anyway, still I was rather mindful of the ears I knew were listening in on my conversation.

"About that, I want to test something. I couldn't sleep, I just had to try it. You know I can't really train to the best of my potential in the Soul Society or in the world of the living, and there is always the chance of my losing control and destroying everything in sight and killing a bunch of innocent people, so I decided that if I needed to train I would have to have you with me. You know that even if I went full hollow I would never hurt you. You can bring me back." He told me seriously and excitedly.

"And you want to train now? Its late and its cold. Tomorrow is pretty much busy as well too, why not after new year's?" I asked him politely and he shook his head.

"Oh, come on Rukia! Since when are you such a wet blanket? I would go alone but I'm always lonely without you." He told me sadly. I sighed dramatically.

"Well I guess it wouldn't kill me." I told him and turned around to my wardrobe. He snuck an arm under my arms and pulled me towards him.

"You don't need to change or anything, just come with me. I'm opening a gate to Hueco Mundo, I'm train there." He said and my eyes widened.

"No! Wait, Ichigo, we aren't allowed to go there! It's a hollow feeding ground! Think of all the arancar lurking around there?! We can't go there is it too dangerous! And against the law! You have to live by our laws now remember?" I asked him urgently. He snorted and rolled his eyes.

"What rules? Its just us and we will be back before anyone misses us!" He told me and I shivered in shock.

"No wait! We need to tell someone! What if something bad happens and no one knows where we are? And Ichigo I am not leaving in my nightclothes!" I told him and quickly pinched his arm painfully. He shrieked and took to kissing his arm.

"Damnit Rukia, what the hell? I have seen you in less than that so what difference does it make if you aren't dressed for battle?" He asked me grouchily. I sighed as I pulled my uniform out of my cupboard.

"It matters to me. I am not running away from hollows half naked. And we are not going to Hueco Mundo." I told him with finality. He pouted and them smirked at me evilly. I had barely gotten dressed fully before I was hoisted into the air and over his shoulder.

"Ichigo you jerk, this is kidnapping! Wait! My zanpakuto! You can't seriously be thinking of throwing me in a hollows den without any protection!?" I yelled indignantly as he opened the portal to Hueco Mundo.

"I am your protection, relax!" He told me and started walking forward.

"No! Wait, Ichigo I'm serious! Let me at least get my zanpakuto!" I cried out in panic. He rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue. I knew I was protected by Ichigo, but what was going to protect me from Ichigo if he went wild. My spiritual pressure flared in fear and I reached out to my zanpakuto that was getting further and further away from me. I felt tears prick my eyes. I was going to hurt Ichigo badly for this!

Just before the portal closed behind us something flashed past us and a shiver ran up my spine. What was that?! Absolute terror filled me. Ichigo sensed my discomfort and put me down gently.

"Did you see that?" I whispered frantically.

"See what? You're imagining things. I would know if something was anywhere near us." He told me gently and put an arm around my shoulders. We were going to get into so much trouble when we got back! The portal opened up in front of us and something flashed by us again. I shrieked and flash stepped as quickly as I could through the portal, screaming at the top of my lungs. Something flashed in front of me and I hit it as quickly as I could sending its face to the side with a sickening crack. I scrunched my eyes up and carefully opened them, tears streamed down my face. I was expecting to see an arancar or Ichigo. Hopefully Ichigo.

"Byakuya!?" I gasped in absolute terror. A bright red hand print seemed to glow from his cheek.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you! What are you doing here? Wait, are you the real…Ichigo help me!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and darted back towards the way I left Ichigo. When I found him looking around for me I ran up to him and delivered him a punch to the jaw.

"You basterd! Take me back home right now damn it!" I screeched and tripped him so that I was straddling him, pinning him down to the sand.

"For heavens sake relax! You are fine! Please calm down!" He begged me and tried to reach out to me and I hit his hands away angrily.

"I saw something! It looked like Byakuya, but I don't think it was the real one!" I sobbed and gave up my fighting, opting to wipe away my tears instead.

"That's impossible, I didn't sense him coming with us. And I doubt that an arancar would take on his appearance, they hate him too much." He scoffed.

"I hope you are right. Because I slapped him. Hard. I'm surprised you didn't hear it." I told him as the adrenalin left my body. He rubbed my arms up and down soothingly. I closed my eyes and sighed. Then something fell in front of me on Ichigo's head. He yelled out I looked down at the object in shock before looking at the shadow that was overshadowing us. I gulped as I looked up and fresh tears of panic started prickling at my poor aching eyes.

"B-B-B-Byaku-ku-ku-ya." I managed to stutter out before grey eyes looked down at me. I couldn't read his expression or his emotions. But he was the real one alright, how else would he have my sword?

"I'm so, so sorry! I was so scared, I didn't take the time to sense who was in front of me before I lashed out. To be fair, you startled me really badly. I thought my heart was going to explode with fear." I told him and tried to smile. I failed horribly. I shakily got up off of Ichigo and stumbled a bit away before collapsing on the ground again.

"Captain! Now I have a sparring partner!" Ichigo said and grinned foolishly before a resounding slap echoed throughout the empty desert.

"I believe that was meant for you, Kurosaki." Byakuya said coldly and Ichigo looked stunned. He blinked out of his shock before grinning like an idiot again.

"That was nothing compared to Rukia's right hook, but point taken." He said and was about to say something else when Byakuya's fist connected on the other side of his face.

"And that is for kidnapping Rukia, and breaking Seireitei laws. We are leaving now, I believe I heard Rukia ask you to take her home. I won't allow you to be around her if you put her in danger." He almost growled out at Ichigo.

"Basterd! She will never be in danger when she is with me, you know that!" He yelled at Byakuya and his energy flared ominously.

"And who would protect her from you? Stand down. We are not in the Soul Society anymore; their laws do not restrain me here." Byakuya warned him threateningly. I bulked and quickly stood on my trembling legs.

"Hey, alright. Let's not do anything we will regret. Since we are here why don't you train Ichigo? I will just…wait here." I told him and sat on the spot. Truthfully my legs felt like jelly.

"Rukia is never in danger by my hand! I could become a true arancar and I know I could never harm her! You are just jealous that she and I trust each other enough to stick our necks out for each other! I heard you used to be fun? Hell, where is that guy?!" Ichigo yelled angrily. I saw Byakuya's brow twitch in frustration.

"As your captain, I command you to open a portal back to the Seireitei for us. I am not jealous of you, you have nothing I don't have. Rukia didn't want to leave with you, regardless on if she would forgive you or not, or lie for you," He said and cast his eyes down at me. I looked away guiltily. "If you were a half decent friend you would force her to do something she was against and afraid of." He told Ichigo calmly. Ichigo looked at me guiltily. I blew a raspberry at him and quickly looked away when Byakuya stared at me.

"Don't give me that face idiot. You are forgiven. Lets just go home? We can train some other time. But Ichigo, I'm serious. You need to take our laws seriously. Sure, sometimes you might have to break them, but doing it because you have to and just because you can be different entirely. I understand that you can't train properly anywhere else and…I will keep it a secret if you really want to train in Hueco Mundo, but don't go alone, do not take Karin, and don't tell anyone who you do not trust completely to keep it quiet." I told him and he nodded silently at me.

I carefully got to my legs and wobbled a little before Ichigo put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me kindly.

"You are right as always. I'm sorry Rukia. Let me carry you home?" He asked kindly and crouched down in front of me. I smiled and was about to accept the piggy back ride when I was pulled back by my waist and picked up by Byakuya who held me under my knees and underarms. I flushed and quickly looked away from his face.

"Kurosaki." Byakuya commanded Ichigo and he looked up and flushed quickly jumping to his feet.

"You should understand something." He said and looked at me. I met his eyes and dread filled my heart. Oh no! Please don't tell him! I held my breath waiting for the awful moment of revelation. Honestly, we weren't in a strong relationship yet but I did tell him that I would give him a chance. But I didn't even know what or who I wanted yet!

"You should know that my feeling for Rukia surpass the feelings of friendship and sibling love. I love her adamantly. You are not the only person who wants her to be happy and protected at all costs. You are not the only competitor of her heart. Now I will not ask you again, open the portal!" Byakuya hissed and held me tighter to him. Ichigo gaped at him like a fish out of water. Before shrieking in horror.

"Idiot, you are her brother! You can't do anything like that with her! And you! Are you insane?!" He yelled at me and then his voice softened.

"Can you honestly say that you aren't in love with me anymore?" he asked looking at me with a soft sad smile. I flinched.

"No. But. I don't know. Please? I just want to go home." I said and let myself slump in Byakuya's hold. He didn't tell Ichigo that I had agreed to give him a chance. Did that mean that he would still give me the space I needed to choose from. I didn't need to say much more though, Ichigo turned around and opened the portal back to the Soul Society. I bid him good night and walked to my bathroom to change back into my nightwear.

I knew Byakuya was still in my room. I was probably in a lot of trouble. Best to be cautious. I opened the door and walked out slowly.

"Byakuya, I am really sorry for hitting you. I know I shouldn't have told Ichigo that he could train in Hueco Mundo, and I know that he is your lieutenant and that you may punish him in any way you choose. Also, thank you for coming after us. It means a lot. Ichigo is young, he doesn't understand the danger as he should." I told him and walked over to my bed but he walked towards me and steered me towards his own bedroom.

"It is alright, he got the slap that was meant for him. But you need to show him his place. He may be your friend but he takes far too many liberties with you, and I don't like it. For many reasons." He said closing his door behind us. I nodded sadly. Ichigo truly didn't understand that things were different now. In the world of the living we could act carefree but here, this is where our real lives were.

"Goodnight, Rukia." He said as he got into bed and blew out his candle. I got into my side before silently crawling over to his side and rested my head on his arm and my arm over his torso.

I only just noticed that he had run out of the house to follow us without his own zanpakuto and in only his nightwear. I leaned my head up and reached my face over to his. I kissed him softly on his soft warm pink lips and leaned back down against him, trying to get comfortable.

"Are you still in love with him?" He asked me quietly and I looked up at him sadly. His eyes looked at me longingly and full of love. Love that I didn't know if I could return.

"Yes." I told him and I thought I saw something glistening in his eyes.

"But you should know that I love you too. Everything is different now." I told him and he faced away from me. I bit my lip sadly. I didn't feel comfortably laying in his bed. He seemed colder towards me and I didn't feel welcome.

I kept my eyes on him as I got up silently and pulled Byabunny along with me. I was just about to close his door behind myself when I barely heard him ask me where I was going.

"I think I should sleep in my own bed tonight. I told him sadly and closed his door. I closed my own door behind me. I felt like locking it, as well as my garden door but decided against it. Ichigo wouldn't come back and Byakuya was upset.

I climbed into my bed which felt incredibly cold for some reason. Perhaps the term 'keeping the bed warm' was literal, I wondered to myself.

My door opened and closed, locking. I felt a moment of panic before a warm body slid into my bed beside me.

"Why did you leave?" He asked me and I lifted my head for him to lay his arm under it.

"I felt unwelcome." I told him and he whispered apologies into my hair. I lifted my leg slightly when he slid one of his legs between mine. Yes, I have slept with Ichigo many nights but never like this. A strange comfortable warm feeling pooled in my lower belly. I subconsciously tightened my legs around his and put my hand over his and brought it to my chest. I could tell he was still awake because his breathing was still rather heavy. I stretched my neck behind me and kissed his neck once and turned back to my previous comfortable position.

"Goodnight Byakuya." I said silently and closed my eyes. I thought I heard him say something but I couldn't make out what it was.

I was asleep within moments.


	19. Chapter 19

BYAKUYA

It must have been late in the morning when I finally woke. I lay awake in silent agony for hours after getting into her bed. She fell asleep instantly. I lay awake for what seemed an eternity. It hurt me so much for her for her me that she was in love with another man. I didn't mean to make her feel unwanted. That was the last thing I wanted.

I didn't know what to think of her actions. I left my room to join her because I feared that she thought I was rejecting her. The last thing I needed was to diminish my own chances with her by offending her by accident. I knew that she cared for me as well and that was a start. I just needed to coax her into feeling something stronger towards me.

I didn't expect her to kiss my neck like that. It wasn't shy, and it wasn't entirely innocent either. If only she knew how she made me feel. It made me happy. But it hurt to know that she hasn't chosen me over him yet. I hurt worse to know that she might choose him over me, and that I couldn't resent her because I knew that she did love us both. Perhaps only in different ways.

The first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was skin. Bare skin. Somehow while we slept her yukata pulled off of her shoulder. I couldn't cover her because she was sleeping on my one arm and was holding onto the other. So, I did the only thing I could do in such a situation. I stared at it. Heatedly. I didn't know if I was willing it to cover her or if I was enjoying the view of being slightly uncovered to me.

I opened my mouth to try and wake her up but after a minute of thought I decided against it. She would be embarrassed and too shamed to sleep with me again for a while if she knew that I had noticed. The only thing I could do was pretend to be asleep, and wait for her to arise. Then again…I pondered and tossed around thoughts before I gave into my baser desires.

I nuzzled my face into her bare neck and shoulder. She was so soft, but cold. I frowned and looked at her. She was still soundly asleep. I gently wedged out my arm from her grasp and covered her shoulder. I disentangled our legs and gently lifted her head with my free hand to try and get my arm free. Just when I thought I was free she grabbed my yukata and pulled me down towards her. I felt her grin against mu cheek and she pecked me softly.

"So, you are the kind of guy who sneaks out in the morning huh? Good Morning, and Merry Christmas." She teased me and let me go roughly before turning onto her back properly and sitting up.

"No. I thought you were still asleep and I have to get ready, it is an office day after all. We have slept the morning away." I said and looked down at her. Her yukata had parted completely. It still covered her, but it revealed a thin opening down her chest to her belly. I sat next to her for a moment and trailed my fingers up her skin. She gasped and looked to me with wide eyes. I licked my lips and pulled it closed once I had reached the top.

"A 'Merry' Christmas indeed." I whispered huskily from where I sat. her neck and cheeks flushed and she looked at me accusingly. I looked down into her eyes and lurched forward to capture her lips. As she moved back I leaned forward until I couldn't anymore. She had pulled open my yukata trying to keep her balance, exposing much of my chest and stomach.

"Good morning." I said playfully to her. I was glad to see her openly staring at me for a change. I shrugged my yukata off of my arms exposing myself properly to her as I got up and walked to her door. I unlocked it and turned back towards her.

"See something you like?" I mimicked her words from the past. I closed her door behind myself and walked back to my own room smugly.

During my hours of nightly contemplation, I decided that I would just have to limit interactions between her and Kurosaki and try to spend more time with her at the same time. Once I was dressed I met Rukia outside of my room where she covered her mouth with her hand in amusement.

"Byakuya, didn't you look in the mirror this morning?" She asked me playfully and shoved me back into my room. I walked into my bathroom and gasped in shock. A blue hand print covered my cheek, and it was slightly swollen. I gaped at my reflection in shock.

"My face!" I yelled and quickly searched through my cabinets for quick healing balms to heal it for me before I left the room. I found one and it was quickly snatched out of my hands.

"Let me. It is my fault. Ichigo probably looks worse if that makes you feel better somehow?" She said softly and with an inch of regret. She kissed my cheek first then gently started rubbing the balm on my cheek. I could feel the instant relief and tongued my inner cheek that remained unhealed. How could I not have noticed the pain before? When she was finished I healed my inner cheek with my Kido.

"He was right. Your right hook does some serious damage, im glad you weren't using Shunko as well or else I would have suffered more devastating injuries." I tried to joke with her but tears welled up in her eyes and her lips trembled.

"I'm sorry, that was a poor joke." I told her and she nodded. She kissed me slowly and softly on my lips and then flicked her tongue out briefly making me gasp. She fled. I had barely opened my eyes when a gush of air rattled the doors. I fixed my attire and walked to the dining room but she wasn't there. I searched for her spiritual pressure but I couldn't find it. As I suspected. She runs away whenever she gets embarrassed.

I ate my breakfast slowly and contemplated our progress. I has been many years since I have felt passion for another person. My hand holding my cup of tea trembled so I put the cup down before I spilled.

Is that what she was trying to accomplish? Did she want more intimacy? But how could we do that without crossing into dangerous territory? I have been acting foolishly. It was improper to share the bed of a woman you were not married to. Because of our situation, no one would suspect a thing, but it was even more forbidden to engage in any sexual activity outside of marriage, especially for nobility.

But if I couldn't give her what she needed she would turn to someone else for comfort. I remembered her telling me that I couldn't be there for her in every way and I bit my cheek. I would be if it meant that she would stay by my side, however I knew she wouldn't marry me because it would tie her down and it was far too sudden.

I saw a pair of hell butterflies fly past my garden, only one came towards me and delivered a message, 'Captain Kuchiki, there is a Christmas party this year being held by the Women's Association, you are invited to attend it. It begins at six in the evening in the grand plaza. Please reply your answer to me.', it asked. I sighed. Rukia was required to be there so I suppose I had to go. I gave the creature its confirmation and watched it fly off with its mate to respond to its holder.

How lucky it was to have found a love in its brief lifespan.

I decided to go to my office in the Seireitei. I might run into Rukia somehow, and I had to make sure that Kurosaki was doing his work. If he wasn't I would force him to. If he was, I would give him more. I reminded myself that he knew about my feelings for Rukia. He would probably keep his silence for her sake.

I walked into my office and saw quiet the amusing sight, Kurosaki sat at his desk working diligently only, he was dressed as some sort of deer and wore the red nose of a clown. I took out my phone and took a picture of him. I debated on whether it was a good idea or not to send Rukia a photo of him but decided that I wanted to share my enjoyment with her.

"I approve of the new look, it suits you well." I said condescendingly and approached my desk. I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my haori.

"You look funny yourself, wears the girly scarf?" He asked cheekily. That brat! I refused to respond to him, instead working through my paper work, once it was sorted through I was bored. A smile tugged at my lips as I stacked the piles of paperwork neatly and dropped them on Kurosaki's desk.

"I was kind enough to sort these out for you Kurosaki, make sure that these are all completed before you leave this office. I know it will be difficult for you to measure up to Abarai, but you should at least try." I told him and rejoiced as I heard him grit his teeth.

"I shall check in with you later. Rukia spoke highly of you, don't make her out to be a liar." I said mockingly as I left the office. The cherry on the cake. I was feeling better now. Much better. I walked over to the thirteenth division and saw the lieutenant doing her paperwork diligently. She too wore strange attire.

"Lieutenant Karin. What is it that you are wearing?" I asked curiously since I assumed she wouldn't judge my lack of knowledge.

"Oh this? It's a Santa's helper costume. Everyone is supposed to wear one today, Rukia asked me to tell you to wear yours if I saw you before she did. She left it in your bedroom, the colour scheme for the four of us is royal blue apart from others normal red Santa costumes or White Christmas costumes. You should see Toshiro!" She said happily and I smiled briefly at her childlike joy.

"Thank you for telling me Karin, I will look out for captain Hitsugaya. Do you by any chance know where Rukia is? Has she gone home for the day?" I asked her politely.

"Ah, she said you may have forgotten because of something that happened yesterday? She has gone to the world of the living to pick something up. She should be back in about an hour, she asked me to ask you not to look for her though, she needs to be alone." She told me and I felt mild worry. Should I heed her request or should I search for her?

"Did she look upset when she left?" I asked her hesitantly. She pondered it for a moment.

"Well, something did upset her but she wasn't unhappy, just in a rush. Something about people who were unreliable? Don't worry! I've known her long enough to know that she is fine." She said kindly and smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you. I will be heading home then. Oh, and Karin? If the paperwork proves too much for you, you may always ask Sentaro to deliver some of it to my office." I told her deceivingly kindly.

"Oh really!? Thank you captain Kuchiki!" She said and bowed. She acted a lot like that Hinamori girl of squad five.

I looked over the article of clothing hanging on my hangar warily. It was soft and looked velvety to the touch as well. I could tell that it was made from expensive materials so at least that would alleviate some on my shame of wearing such an abomination.

It consisted of tight long dark blue velvet pants, knee high dark blue boots with white fur around the top of them with swirly silver patterns, a long sleeved dark blue coat that barely covered my behind with white fur cuffs around the wrists and neck, and silver swirls around the front of the coat. There was a special belt for my zanpakuto as well, that only barely fitted around my hips. Humans and their tight clothes! I can only hope her fascination with them wore off sometime within the century.

I looked in the mirror and sighed. I shouldn't leave the house like this. My rear was too well defined by the pants and my crotch stood out a little too much for my liking. If I didn't wear it she would be offended. I sighed in exasperation. What would grandfather say if he were watching me now? Lastly, there was a note laying on top of a fuzzy dark blue cap like cloth with a snowball like pompom at the end of it and an elastic crown.

' _Byakuya, I know you probably won't enjoy the thought of walking around in strange clothing, but I am sure that it will suit you well!_

 _PS: Do not even try to wear the kenseikan today._

 _Rukia'_

I sighed and tossed the note onto my desk. I would stay home until I truly couldn't any longer. I had to leave at six, so that gave me two hours to prepare myself for the worst, hopefully Rukia came home before leaving for the party. I really didn't want to go alone. I didn't want to go at all.

I started to worry when the time for the party was less that thirty minutes away and Rukia hadn't returned home yet, but thankfully I heard the sound of her moving around inside of her room not too long afterwards. I knocked at her door.

"Rukia, do I have to wear this? It's rather tight." I complained. Her door opened and she eyed me closely. My eyes however stood very close to popping out of their sockets. What in the world was she wearing!? She wore thigh high dark blue velvet leg warmers and arm warmers with furry white cuffs, knee high dark blue velvet boots with pompoms on them and a dark blue velvet dress that barely covered her chest or her rear!

"I forbid you from leaving the house dressed like that!" I shouted at her. She looked surprised but walked to her vanity and proceeded to brush her hair.

"Watch me." She taunted me making my temple throb.

"You are barely decent, you can not be seen waring so little!" I elaborated for her to try and make her see reason.

"I don't care. We are supposed to be dressed in human festive clothing and that is what we are doing. There is a contest for the cutest Christmas couple and I want us to win it fairly." She told me and smiled smugly.

"Oh, and your clothes aren't too tight, they are just right." She said and winked at me.

"Right?! I feel exposed!" I exclaimed and stomped my foot angrily.

"Fine then change into something more comfortable, I will take Ichigo as my partner instead." She told me and my blood turned to ice.

"You wouldn't dare." I stated icily and let my rage be emitted in my spiritual pressure.

"Does that mean you will be my partner? I am quite a daring you know." She taunted me and crossed her legs cheekily. Gods! She was exposing herself for all the world to see! I could tell that I was intimidating her but I didn't mind in the slightest.

"You will not leave my side. Know that any man who looks at you longer than is appropriate will die today." I told her icily. Her smile dropped.

"That attitude will make us lose. Never mind I think I will take my chances with Ichigo, who doesn't love a reindeer? You are acting like the grinch who stole Christmas! Being protective and possessive are very different things. I miss the you from the past, that boy was charming and endearing." She told me sadly before resuming brushing her hair.

"I am not a child anymore. I hoped that you could love the person before you instead of a ghost from the past." I snapped and fled her room to sit in my study. That's it, I'm not going to that stupid party! I hated all these human things getting mixed up with our traditions, and who do you suppose is at fault? Kurosaki! He brought all of this trouble with him when he forced his way into our lives!

Hours passed by and I decided to return to my room. I had caught up on enough family dealings for this year. Knowing everything that happened in the clan was tiresome. I contemplated looking over the party from a distance, but I thought it would severely aggravate me to see her with Kurosaki, especially since I was the one who basically threw them together. My throat clenched uncomfortable and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy. It's too soon to tell I suppose. Perhaps I am too young to be looking for love. I was so absorbed in my bitter thoughts that I failed to notice music coming from the room adjacent to my study.

When I did notice it, I tried to focus on it but it was too low for me to hear with my door closed, so I opened the doors. The doors to her music room were also closed keeping out much of the sound of her music. All I could tell was that it was a gut wrenchingly painful melody. I tried to open the doors but they were locked from the inside. I knocked twice and for a moment the music stopped before she continued to play.

I decided to play an old prank on her and flash stepped out of the house only to appear before the window overlooking the piano. What I saw made tears run down my face. As hers were. She was dressed in one of the warmer kimonos she wore at home and played the piano with shaking fingers. Every tear she shed rolled off of her cheeks and turned into a perfect frozen droplet. They bounced off of the keys on the instrument and fell like crystals to the floor.

Did something happen at the party that upset her? Did her entry in the contest with Kurosaki not go well? Was she upset that I didn't join her? My gut wrenched with guilt. I stepped closer to the window and put my hand on the glass. The cold air from within the room quickly frosted up the glass around my hand drawing her attention. She cast her sad eyes on me and looked down at the keys of her instrument. She wiped off the keys and covered them with the lid before getting up, unlocking the door and flashing somewhere. I followed her spiritual pressure to her room. But I stopped in my step as I saw her talking to Kurosaki. She handed him a gift that he took gratefully.

"Thank you Rukia. Are you alright? I know you have been crying. Can I do anything to make you feel better? I know! Here! I almost forgot to give it to you!" He said and handed her a gift in return.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about me. I'm just not really feeling well." She said as she started opening the gift he had given her. I couldn't tell what it was from where I was watching, but she gasped and held it higher in the air to examine it properly.

"It's beautiful Ichigo! You idiot! Quit spending all your money on me! Save up and buy yourself something you want." She said and he laughed scratching the back of his head.

"Well, see I didn't buy it. My dad gave it to me with some of the other things in the box you gave me. I actually remember my mother wearing it when I was really little. Dad said that it was his great grandmothers, it was actually a Shiba clan family heirloom. It was inherited to my dad when he was the clan leader way back when. He told me to give it to the person I loved more than anyone in the world, and well, I could live for an eternity and love many other people but I know deep down in my heart that you are the one I will always love above all. Whether we end up together or not, that will never change. I'm here for you. Whenever you need me, I promise." He said and I clenched my fist. How dare he try to win her heart like that? It was unfair!

"Thank you Ichigo, that means a lot, but shouldn't you have given this to your future wife? I'm sure that's what your dad meant. I don't deserve this. Please take it back?" She asked him quietly and he sighed.

"Now who is being the idiot? Look at Kisuke and Yoruichi, even if we don't end up together, you will always be the most important person to me in the world. You are my best friend. I could never love anyone more than I love you. Please keep it? I'm sure when we are old like Mr. Hat and Clogs and Yoruichi we will still be together." He told her and she hugged him and stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. My heart hurt.

"Alright, if you are sure. But if you ever have a daughter and want to pass it down to her, let me know." She told him and he sighed.

"You know, Orihime made me promise to leave you and the Soul Society alone because we were starting a family. I agreed and when we started talking about baby names, we came across yours. You name means, 'The one who holds hearts'. I asked her if we had a girl if we could name her after you, since she wanted me to live my life with her in the world of the living. It hurt to make her that promise, but I loved her too you know? And I knew that I would make you proud. Besides, you were married to Renji and I knew I had lost you. At least I thought I did." He told her and silent tears welled up in my eyes. 'The one who holds hearts'? It suits her well.

"No Ichigo. Everyone I love leaves me or is hurt because of me. I don't hold hearts, I destroy them. Sometimes I feel like I don't have one, that's why people with big hearts who are attracted to me try to share their hearts with me, only to end up hurt." She told him and I really wanted to talk to her but I couldn't expose myself.

"Rukia, you have the biggest heart I have ever seen, please never say things like that to me ever again! That's it, something is up with you, out with it! Something it hurting you and you are making it worse by keeping it to yourself! You didn't even come to the party tonight, and I know you were dying to win that competition! You know you can trust me. Is it your brother?" He asked her and she looked startled.

"No. It's nothing, I swear I'm just not feeling well, I feel sick and really tired. It could be from all the snow they make captain Hitsugaya and I create for the party. Winter wonderland my ass, those people are going to die of hypothermia! Even the seats and tables are made from ice! Gives a whole new meaning to the term blue balls, eh?" She asked him playfully and my eyes widened in shock. How vulgar! How did she even know what that term meant?!

"I know you well enough to know that you lied to me just now. Covering a lie with humour is a cheap trick. But it's alright, you can tell me when you are ready. My door is always open. And besides, I miss our late-night talks, you should sleep over some time." He suggested and she nudged him playfully.

"You still haven't opened your present you know. After I went to all the sentimental trouble." She chided and he held up his hands in surrender before opening her gift.

"What is it? Some kind of pocket watch?" He asked her curiously and she hit him on the back of his head softly.

"Idiot, it's a locket, look at it properly, see, there is the clasp." She told him and he lifted it up. An image of the sun was imprinted on one side while the other had the moon. I was vividly reminded of when Aizen had called them the black sun and white moon. Another bond that they shared, and I lacked.

"Its really pretty Rukia!" He exclaimed and grunted in frustration at not being able to open it.

"It just takes practice, here?" She offered her hand for him to hand it to her and she opened it and cried out.

"Ouch, that looks like it hurts. Here, let me." He said and brought her finger into his mouth and sucked for a little while. My anger boiled. How inappropriate! Sure, I could have done it for her, but that is different!

He released her hand and she thanked him for alleviating the pain. He looked inside the locket and smiled.

"You really are something, you know that? Thank you, Rukia." He said and leaned closer to her.

"Hey, I know what I would give to have a part of my child with me. I promise you I'll get you a lock of hair and a cute picture of your baby when it is born. Just because your life is here doesn't mean that some of your heart wont always exist there." She told him and he leaned closer to her face. He held her cheek gently in his hand.

"You always chase away my sadness. You could never be anything less than the most radiant angel." He told her and kissed her gently. What hurt more was watching her lean into him instead of pulling away.

"Are you okay Rukia? You're crying." He told her and my eyes widened in surprise.

"It's nothing. I'm just really tired. Thanks to an inconsiderate jerk, my sleep was cut short by hours, and worse, I think I almost screamed my voice away! You and Byakuya are just as bad as one another, trying to scare the living daylights out of me! Heavens you should have seen his cheek this morning! Hey, why aren't you bruised all over?" She asked him curiously. I narrowed my eyes. Did she have to tell him that I was harmed? And I was trying to save her, not scare her, how could she compare the two of us?

"Are you sure? Listen, if it is about the kiss…" He trailed off and she sighed.

"It's not. And I promise, I am fine. Or I am going to be. Now get out of here, I am tired. I'm sure you could use a decent night's rest after all of that paperwork." She said and I smirked evilly from the shadows.

"Yeah, could you try to talk to him for me please? You know, I actually finished it all? I'm trying here and he keeps bullying me and insulting me. I don't approve of him trying to be with you but that doesn't mean he has to be a jerk to me because I love you too." He told her and sulked a bit while walking out into the garden. She sighed and shook her head.

"Goodnight Ichigo, Merry Christmas." She said and smiled at him. He smiled sadly back at her too and wished her well before leaving. I stepped out of her room silently and walked towards my own. So, she hadn't attended the party. Not at all. A pang of guilt rang in my heart. Was it because of me? I had found her in her music room, but how long had she been there?

I started disrobing myself when a knock rang through my door. I didn't know if I should answer it as I was or ask her to wait until I changed, after all I wore only my hakama. I decided quickly to open the door instead because I feared that she would leave and more than anything I wished that we could return to the joy of how things were when we woke up in the morning.

"Rukia." I said as greeting. She was looking down at the floor and looked up at me slowly. She saw my state of dress and looked away.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you while you were busy changing, I just wanted to give you something. I was going to give it to you at the party, but, well…here." She said sadly and gently offered me a square box wrapped in paper of snowflakes. She stepped away and looked like she was going to return to her room when I caught her arm. I looked at her hand sadly.

"Listen, Rukia. I am sorry about my outburst earlier today. I know I hurt you and I am really sorry for that, I didn't mean to ruin your evening, can you forgive me?" I asked her quietly. She didn't look up at me or smile, but she nodded slowly, looking at the floor like a zombie. She turned to leave and I thought about how I could try to make her stay with me for a while longer.

"Did you have dinner? Would you like me to send for a pot of tea?" I offered and she stopped only to look at me sadly.

"I'm fine, thank you. I'm not really hungry, just tired." She said and I struggled to find a way to make her stay. She basically shut down any offer I might have made already.

"Wait. Wouldn't you like to know what I think of your gift?" I baited and watched the wheels turn slowly in her head before she walked over to me slowly and folded her hands together in front of me.

"I suppose. It was difficult to think of something I could get you when you can get anything you want if you want it. I also had to imagine your reaction to different things, to see if it would be useful to you or not. Open it?" She asked me and watched me sadly but curiously. I peeled open the paper carefully and slid the velvet box out into my palm and opened it. Then stared. For a while.

"You don't like it? I got the idea of getting you a gem to store energy in for yourself after I mentioned to you what my intentions with my own were, but I couldn't get you something for your hair because you wouldn't wear it, I didn't think that you would want a piercing so I couldn't get you an earring, or a ring because you probably wouldn't want to draw attention to your appearance in anyway that wasn't noble standard, you wear gloves so bracelets are useless as well as watches as we have no need of them in our world really. The feather reminded me of how yours looked when the sunlight shone on them. I really like that part of you and by chance I found a well-crafted cherry blossom petal pendant. The pendant itself wasn't too charming, but the gem could be saved and used differently so I asked the jeweller to meld the pink diamond into the centre of the feather. I liked it because they both represent who you are as a person, instead of just a Kuchiki or the head of the family. I told you it wouldn't be as wonderful as your gift to me, still, I hope you will wear it. I know you wouldn't want to wear something that catches attention easily so I bought you a longer chain for the necklace so that it will hide under your clothes'…" She said and trailed off before sighing.

"I believe my gift has been bested. I will endeavour to top your gift the next time we exchange gifts." I told her and held out the box to her.

"Could you put it on me?" I asked her and she nodded slowly. It rested silently on my sternum.

"I like it, thank you Rukia." I told her and reached towards her and hugged her slowly. She hugged me back loosely. I decided to ask her what has been troubling me.

"Rukia…have I lost you?" I asked her sadly and held her cheeks in the palms of my hands. I tried to develop a link to her eyes but she didn't seem to want to look at me. She was quiet for a long while before she opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. I felt my heart beginning to break to pieces. If only I hadn't lost my temper.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to her heartbreakingly and kissed her parted lips. Tears ran down my cheeks for fear that this would be the last time. I released her and touched my forehead to hers.

"Goodnight." I whispered lowly. The pieces of my heart were stuck in my throat like blades. My voice felt weaker and my breath felt heavier. I watched her walk out of my room and close my bedroom door. The faint click sounded like the cocking of a gun. I took a shakiy breath and locked my door, as well as my garden doors. I never should have hoped to change our relationship, perhaps now I have ruined it. I didn't bother changing into my nightwear, I felt like all the energy had been drained from me now as it had the night of the Obon festival. I blew out the candles with a wave of my hand and lay down in my bed. It felt too big for me now and it was colder than ice, I couldn't seem to get warm.

I tried to sleep. I needed the numbing feeling one has after a good sleep. I lay there for hours trying to let sleep claim me. I felt more and more devoid of feeling, my exhaustion seeped away all of the hurts my body felt, until I felt like a heavy, cold, hard stone.

I heard whispers behind my door calling me, but I decided to numb them out as well.

"Byakuya, are you awake? Can I come in?" She whispered and slowly the hurt started seeping back into my body and the heaviness lifted, leaving me feeling like a hollowed-out shell except for sorrow and the pain that remained. Was this how hollows felt? What pitiful creatures.

"Byakuya? I'm sorry for disturbing you. I'll leave now." She said sadly. I knew I had already lost her, but a sudden panic filled my body. I didn't want her to leave me entirely! How many more ways can I turn her away from me? In the blink of an eye I had unlocked my door and flashed in front of her path.

We stood there for a while looking at each other before she eventually looked down and tried to step around me.

"What is troubling you tonight, to make you seek me out?" I asked her colder than I intended to.

"Its nothing, I'm fine. Goodnight." She whispered and tried to leave but I stepped in front of her.

"I am not Kurosaki, I won't stand for beating around the bush. Something is troubling you, let me hear it." I told her and she stilled for a moment before walking away from me. She tried to pass me from the other side but I stood in her path. I could see that I was starting to anger her but maybe she would speak if she was angered enough.

That thought however flew from my mind when she turned on her heels and flash stepped away from me. I felt the direction she was heading towards and flashed forward to intercept her. She was heading towards the music room. I flashed in front of her only in time enough to watch a door shut in my face. My study door. She tricked me! Again! I tried to open the door but it was locked. I sighed and softly hit my head against the door.

"You were the one who called me out to talk, now why are you running from me?" I asked her angrily. No reply. My exhaustion swept me full circle. I narrowed my eyes at the door.

"Rukia, please open the door." I commanded softly.

"No, I don't want to talk to you right now, please leave me alone. If you leave and return to bed, I will leave and return to mine." She said from somewhere in the room. I groaned in displeasure. I loathed such games. A sudden idea popped into my head. I quickly flashed out of the house and to my study window overlooking the courtyard. As I expected, she lay against the window on the windowsill as she had when I had first seen her. I floated closer to her and sat on the outside windowsill and rested my head on the glass where hers was. The jarring of the glass caused her to startle and she almost fell off again as she has before. I smiled slightly at the memory and pulled my tongue out at her. At first, she looked angry and as if she was going to cry, then she snorted and rolled her eyes and a twinge of a smile tugged at her mouth.

"How indecent, walking around outside in nothing but your hakama, you are going to get sick and I will forbid Isane from healing you because you brought it upon yourself." She told me and my smile fell and turned into a frown.

"I didn't feel like doing anything once you left me. I went straight to bed." I told her and she stiffened.

"I want to go to bed now, are you going to try and stop me?" She asked me challengingly. I smiled and shook my head.

"I wouldn't dream of depriving a woman of her much needed rest." I said sickeningly sweet. I could tell that she didn't believe me for a second. I wasn't lying entirely.

She watched me carefully as shy backstepped to the door we watched each other intensely. She unlocked the door and watched me. She slowly opened one of the doors, all the time, not taking her eyes off of me. Something inside of me enjoyed this immensely! And just like that she flashed out of sight. I quickly flashed to my room and caught her as she almost bolted inside of her own. She thrashed around for a while before growing limp in my arms. I gently dragged her inside my room and locked my door. She looked back at the door for a second before I whispered in her ear.

"Don't even try." I said and helped tuck her in to the other side of my bed. She glared at me heatedly.

"Why do you look so chuffed with yourself?" She asked angrily. I smiled brightly at her.

"It is a more animalistic satisfaction I suppose, after all I did catch my prey. A lovely catch indeed." I joked and her eyes glistened angrily. Then they started welling up. I gulped. She swiftly ducked her head under the covers and held onto the top tightly so that it couldn't be lifted from her.

She wouldn't appreciate my intimacy anymore so I should probably leave. I would have to sleep in my study. This plan of mine was not well thought out. I rarely ever yawned as it was ill mannered and quickly beat out of me when I was younger, but I found myself yawning loudly.

"Stay here and rest if you wish, I will sleep in my study tonight." I told her and unlocked my door.

"Why?" She asked but it was muffled by the covers of my bedding. I yawned again.

"Because I am exhausted, and comforting you as I wish to oversteps the bounds of our…relation to one another." I told her and walked tiredly out of my room.

"Don't bother, I am going to my own room now anyway." She said and wiped her face before standing up and walking towards the door. I was so tired that I was just going to let her go. But then I changed my mind and pulled her to my chest. I held her for a minute until she started crying again and hit my chest softly.

"I'm sorry. What can I do to make up for upsetting you?" I asked gently. She stopped hitting me and tiredly lay her head on my chest.

"Why were you so mean to me today?" She asked me sadly. My mind finally felt numb and now I needed answers from it.

"You were right. I do want to protect you. But it is also part of my nature to protect what is mine. You were never mine, so that was my own mistake, but seeing you dressed so revealingly for other people to see hurt me. It also highly goes against nobility standards, and honestly while you enjoy human customs and traditions, I do not. I try to for your sake and it isn't always terrible, but I loath human clothing from the world of the living. I feel like a cat being dressed up as a dog. It is demeaning to me. I am a proud soul of the ancients and such festivities in a world where they shouldn't exist upset me greatly. Religion and those types of holidays are for the living, not the dead. I understand the want to have fun but…" I trailed off and sighed.

"If you were wondering where the boy I was ran off to, the answer is that he never left. He just learnt to behave as someone of his standing and species is meant to. My quick temper remains with me as well, as I could have handled the situation better." I told her and stroked her back as she listened to what I had to say. Then I decided to let her know one of my secrets.

"I followed you from the music room tonight. I saw and heard everything between you and that boy. I realise that I was invading your privacy and I apologise. But why didn't you go to the party? I know I upset you, but surely Kurosaki could have cheered you up?" I asked her curiously.

"I didn't go to the party because I didn't feel like pretending to be happy. You were upset and hurting in your own way, how could I try to be happy knowing that? I know that you were watching us. I saw your reflection on the necklace Ichigo gave me. I felt you sitting in your study so I decided to play music to try and lure you out, hopefully in a better mood. Eventually I grew more and more sad before I locked myself inside the room and started playing the songs of lost love and tragedies. By that time, I really didn't feel like seeing you again. And I didn't know what to say to you." She told me sadly.

"I never realised that you disliked the world of the living that much. it was my fault all of this happened in the first place. I was happy that I had gotten to know you better but after everything I learned about you, I was still insensitive to your own feelings. And I did purposely try to use Ichigo as a catalyst to get you to go with me as well. I can understand that you wouldn't want people looking and me indecently, but you know I can take care of myself." She said soft me and I tightened my hold on her.

"You mistake the issue. I simply want to be the only person to ever see you in such a state of undress. My fear wasn't only of your safety. No one would want to watch something they cherish so much be carelessly be shown around like that, as if it were common. Showing your body is supposed to be intimate and towards the one you care for most, not to showcase your assets for vanity or competition. You will always win first prize for your beauty and talent, sometimes knowing that should be enough to make you happy." I told her and she looked up at me sadly.

Slowly she stood on her toes and kissed my lips. I kissed her eagerly! After all, I thought that I would never get the opportunity again. I let my hand travel up her neck to her cheek and finally laced my fingers through her hair. I used my new access to her mobility to position us better and I licked across her bottom lip and carefully tried to deepened the kiss into something more. I wasn't much of an experienced lover and I didn't want to disappoint her, or worse, chase her off because I came on too demanding for her.

She didn't open her mouth, but parted her lips only slightly. I took this advantage to nimble them and suck them playfully. The kiss wasn't really passionate, but we definitely advanced to a more intimate form of kissing. That was enough for me. I pulled away from her only enough to give her one last kiss on the lips. I nuzzled my nose against hers affectionately.

"We should go to sleep. The last two days of exhaustion have caught up with me and I fear I shall be comatose for at least a week before I wake. Hopefully, with this my dreams may be somewhat sweeter." I said kindly and gently guided her to her own room. She turned around and looked at me oddly before walking into my room and getting back into my bed. I stared at her dumbly for a moment.

I made sure to lock my door to prevent any unwanted eyes prying into our private affairs. I felt dead tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally, there were no words to describe how drained I felt. Once I was in bed comfortably she crawled closer to me and cuddled into me.

"I thought I lost you today. My chance with you, that is." I told her and she hummed softly into my chest before looking up at me.

"I'm sorry if I can't really kiss properly. I tried to before but it just didn't feel quiet right. I wouldn't mind trying it again sometime but not right now." She told me quietly

"You can't lose me either, baka Byakuya. You made me promise you that I wouldn't leave you. I can determine how to interpret that promise though. I accepted your proposal at the springs so it would be unfair to judge to so quickly." She told me and I smiled at her secretly, since she couldn't see it.

"We can learn together how to kiss and what not. It has been a long time for me as well, I am rather hesitant and inexperienced myself. I think we both need the time to adapt. Practice doesn't do any harm either." I joked and I could feel her smile against my chest. But I frowned and looked down at her.

"But practice on me, not Kurosaki. I have a store room filled with paperwork for him for tonight's transgressions." I told her seriously. She gasped and peeked up at me.

"I forgot that you saw that! Byakuya, I- "She started but I cut her off by brushing her lips gently with my thumb.

"It's alright. Unless you clearly state that you accept me as your choice as a life partner, I will not hold anything you do until then against you if I can help it." I told her. She sighed tiredly against me and tucked her leg between mine, as has become the norm.

"Goodnight, Rukia." I whispered but she was already asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

RUKIA

I walked aimlessly from Kisuke's place. Tonight, was New Year's Eve and also his birthday. Yoruichi's birthday is the first of January, and those two are so close that they don't consider more that the few minutes around new years as their birthday. Best friends forever. I delivered their gifts, but they said that they would open them the same time exactly on the new year's count down. I am one of the few people who know that Kisuke had always been in love with her. No one knows why they don't get together, but some people say something about captain Soifon affected their relationship with each other.

Yoruichi saw Soifon as her best student even though she was fairly fond of Byakuya and treated him like a little brother, as she treated Soifon as a little sister. Kisuke has been her best friend since forever, and they are fiercely loyal to each other. Yoruichi abandoned her clan and responsibilities to be with him, and he would give up anything for her. How could they love each other so much yet not be in love? Well Kisuke was, but Yoruichi's feelings are a mystery. Soifon hated Kisuke for some reason and refused to act civil towards him.

But to have those feeling there all the time and not act on them? How did they do it? I was hesitant to get closer to Byakuya because I was afraid of how it would affect my relationship with Ichigo, and I couldn't try to be more forward with Ichigo and risk hurting Byakuya and shatter the special relationship we have with each other. Sure, they were both attractive but I didn't know if I wanted to sleep with them. And even if I did want to, it wouldn't be proper for someone from nobility to sleep with someone when they are unmarried.

I decided to stay here for a while. All of my problems were back home and being here for a while felt like a relief. Byakuya didn't like the world of the living so him being here didn't seem likely, and Ichigo didn't know how to open the Senkaimon yet. It was possible for Byakuya to come looking for me, but it was unlikely since he knows that I am alright.

I just couldn't understand why Byakuya disliked the world of the living. He said it was too artificial and materialistic, but there are so many nice things in this world! One of the few things he actually liked has piano music. I was bored out of my mind but the last thing I wanted to do was go back home.

I walked into the harbour port and observed the ferries returning from the neighbouring attraction islands. A sudden thought hit me and I was filled with excitement. The rabbit islands! I really wanted to go! Ichigo told me he would take me someday but it never ended up happening because when they did make a trip over as a group, I was too busy with work to join them. I bit my lip in contemplation.

Should I ask Byakuya? He doesn't like the world of the living though. Karin was only just starting to settle in at work so I couldn't disrupt her. I could always go with Ichigo, we did promise to go together. I would have to decide later. I walked up to the brochure stand and looked curiously at the different attractions. Rabbit island, fox island, cat island, bird watcher island and the islands dedicated to ruins and shrines of the Shinto religion. I took one of each so that I could talk to Ichigo about what plans we should make for the day. I cringed at the thought of asking Byakuya to let him off for a day.

I was really pushing him lately. Byakuya liked order and organise and me hiring a lieutenant for him without his knowledge or permission annoyed him more than he let on. It's difficult for him when I get too involved in his office life with Ichigo. Perhaps I should ask him if he wants me to take Ichigo instead. At least he would be in a better mood when he gets home every day. Before we found Ichigo again we used to eat lunch together every day but now I rarely see him. Either I stay in the office with Karin or Ichigo sneaks out to find me during his lunch break.

I packed my brochures neatly into my hoodie pocket and decided it was time to go home if I wanted to make plans for my upcoming trip, only it would probably be best if I left it till a week or so after new year to ask him. He seems stressed for his meeting with Uryu to night. I tried to talk to him but he brushed me off saying that he needed to clear his head.

I sighed heavily as I walked into the compound from the Senkaimon. I didn't pay much attention to anything around me as I walked through the main house towards my room. I took out the brochures and looked some of them over. Byakuya, despite having the soul animal of a bird, didn't seem to like them all that much, neither did I honestly, but I wanted to see if there was a bird alive who could match his elegance. I gasped as I walked into a tall body.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." I told him and stepped aside out of Byakuya's path.

"You went to the world of the living again, why?" He asked me curiously and slightly unhappily. I looked down sadly. I really wish he would come with me, but I don't think he would.

"Well, I wanted to deliver Kisuke and Yoruichi's birthday gifts. I stayed over for a while and had tea with them and caught up on the progress of the creation Kisuke is creating to diminish the human's spiritual abilities, among other lighter topics. Actually, I hope you won't be angry but Yoruichi asked me why I smelled so much like you. I honestly don't think I smell like anything but myself but, I didn't know what to tell her so I told her that we sometimes slept together. In a non-sexual way of course!" I squeaked and quickly looked away when his eyes widened.

"That demon cat always butting in on other people's business." He growled out dangerously.

"You know she doesn't mean any harm. She cares for you, and she wanted to make sure that I was alright after everything that has happened." I told him gently and pressed the brochures over my mouth to hide a small smile at my fondness for Yoruichi.

"What is this?" He asked me and gently tugged the bird brochure out of my hands. I sighed tiredly.

"Well, after my visit with Kisuke I walked around for a bit to clear my head and sort out my thoughts and I ended up at the harbour. I saw some of the tourists coming back from the attractions and remembered that Ichigo promised me that we could visit them sometime. We actually made a date to go together about a year ago but work pulled me away and I couldn't go." I told him sadly. He took the other brochures out of my hands and looked them over.

"We could go together if you would prefer?" He asked me while looking at the rabbit one. I smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"No that's okay, I know you don't like the world of the living anyway. It's a whole day trip that stops at each of these locations, I don't know if you would enjoy feeding animals and having them climb all over you…and I hear some of the fox's bite. There is a weekend cruise ship what I was thinking of booking actually, that way you can spend more time at each location. The day trip is a one-way sail across each of the islands for an hour per location and by the time you are half way finished you would be exhausted! I want to enjoy the nature properly without being pressured for time." I said strategically and rubbed my chin gently in consideration.

"It doesn't sound terrible. I too enjoy nature, I would like to accompany you if you wouldn't mind?" He asked me and I was genuinely surprised.

"Well, yes I would like that, but you do know that there will be a lot of humans around? Are you sure you are comfortable with that?" I asked him curiously if not a bit sceptically. He narrowed his eyes at me slightly.

"I will be keeping your company, not theirs, I don't see how their presence affects me." He told me calmly.

"If you are sure. But then we need to make some arrangements. One room or two? Eating aboard or not? Swimming yes or swimming no? I personally wouldn't mind swimming. We never do anything fun really." I told him and pouted sadly. His gaze softened a little.

"I will make arrangements at work to free a few days for us. We only need one bed really, so one room should be fine. You can swim if you want to, I would but I don't like being watched by strangers. As for food, you know my tastes well enough, I am sure you will choose something acceptable. You may choose two rooms if you would be more comfortable sleeping apart from me." He suggested and I nodded.

"I sleep with you most nights now anyway, I don't see the harm in sharing a room. Unless you decide not to behave yourself, who knows, it might be more fun." I said and slapped his behind. I ran into my room quickly before he could catch me.

"Rukia!" He shouted indignantly from behind my closed door. I smiled sneakily.

"Is something the matter?" I asked him playfully.

"Well, why do you do that?" He asked me agitatedly from behind my door.

"Am I not allowed to think that your behind it attractive?" I ask playfully and he sputtered behind my door. I had taken off my pants off already so I only wore my shirt and my underwear.

"Fine, I will make us even." I told him and opened the door, and I bent down just a little.

"I didn't hit you hard, so don't you dare make my butt sting!" I warned. He was looking away and I thought he would do it until I loud slap resounded in my room. I squeaked and jumped up rubbing my behind.

"Ouch! I didn't actually hurt you!" I whined as I rubbed my stinging behind. He smiled evilly at me.

"It serves you right for taunting me!" He said and burst out laughing. I glared at him and took off my shirt. His eyes immediately stared at my body. I might not have many womanly assets but I was starting to like the way he stared at me, it made me feel more confident. I watched him looking at me for a moment before I too burst out laughing.

"You are such a little pervert!" I accused and his face flushed in shame at being caught staring. He cleared his throat.

"May I touch you?" He asked me softly. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"In what manner?" I asked and he stepped forward and reached out his hand. I watched it carefully before he gently grabbed a hold of my side and slid his hand over my curves. I gasped at how surprisingly good it felt! He looked up at me quickly before looking back down at my body. He kneeled on the floor in front of me and slowly moved his hands from my waist down to my hip and thighs. I was getting butterflies in my belly. He leaded forward slowly and closed his eyes. He kissed the centre of my chest softly. My body shivered at how sweet he was being. It was strange, but he was somehow so sweet! I lifted my hands toward his head and gently caressed the back of his head where the kenseikan couldn't reach. He sighed into my stomach softly.

"I don't know what this is really, but I like it when you touch me." I told him softly and looked at the floor shamefully. He leaned up and kissed me on the lips.

"Then, am I allowed to touch you freely?" He asked me and I flushed.

"Yes, just not inappropriately. I also like it when you kiss me." I told him and looked at the roof embarrassedly. He smiled into my stomach and leaned down further to kiss my thigh.

"Hmm, perhaps I should get dressed. You are starting to excite me and I don't think you will touch me as much as I would like you to." I told him gently and stepped away from him. I noticed his eyes widen and dart towards my face, but I turned my back on him and walked behind my changing curtain to dress into one of my home kimonos.

"You underestimate me. I would be too happy to touch you more…sensually, however I fear for our reputation if we are caught. It would be beyond scandalises for many reasons. If you wished for me to touch you while we were completely alone however, things could work out differently. But I will not make love to you unless you marry me." He told me sternly. I had just walked out fully dressed and stared open mouthed at him.

"Humans usually try to see if they are pleasing to each other before deciding if they want to stay together you know. What would happen if we married and you were unhappy with me in bed? Or you didn't think I was attractive fully undressed?" I asked him embarrassedly. He smiled at me.

"I have seen you naked before as you have seen me, and no one has ever been more attractive…and arousing to me that you. It is impossible for you not to please me, however if your concern is whether I can please you or not, if you will allow me to try and learn, I am eager to." He told me and my face flashed redder. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before licking my lips and swallowing tightly. It was difficult looking at him after hearing him say something so forward so shamelessly!

"If you did though, I would develop a need for you. Would you really reject me if I wanted you to make love to me?" I asked him and his eyes clouded over in desire.

"I told you before, I would never reject you. But the consequences of our actions may be severe as we are not married and are not yet ready to have children." He told me and I nodded but looked in his eyes.

"If I did fall pregnant though, would you be happy?" I asked him and he smiled beautifully at me.

"Of course! But for our own sake, as well as the child's it would be best if we were married. Rukia, if that is what you want from me then let me know your decision." He told me passionately and I smiled slightly at him.

"We can talk more about it on our cruise. It would be more private." I suggested and he nodded.

"Rukia, you should know that I have been restraining myself towards you out of decency, if you would allow me to be more intimate with you, I would be happy to be. I crave touching you." He told me and looked at me heatedly before slowly walking to my door.

"I will see you at dinner. I love you, Rukia." He told me and my eyes widened. He had never said it in that way before.

BYAKUYA

I clenched my hands tightly on my bathroom dresser counter. I knew that she was just playing with me at first but I never expected such a topic to pop up. I desperately fought off my arousal. I knew that she didn't think of herself as physically appealing but seeing her that bare did something to me! And she was so warm and so soft! She smelt so nice too, whatever she scented her skin with made my loins stir with lust.

She doesn't even try, and she cripples me in such a way. Women can be cruel! My legs trembled in exertion and I breathed in methodically, deeply in and slowly out. Eventually the pulsating sensations died down leaving my body tired and tense. I left my bathroom warily and sat at my calligraphy table.

My calligraphy was horrible today! My hand didn't stay upright as it was supposed to and just when I thought I had managed a perfect stroke, my hand shook slightly and the tip of the brush splotched at the end of the stroke! I grit my teeth in frustration.

Many things were troubling my mind as was the norm, but more of them were immediately important. I never should have confessed to my desires for her so soon. And if she did choose me and we married, she would expect a child and we weren't ready for one! Perhaps I was thinking too much on the matter.

I shouldn't have said that I was eager to please her either. Abarai couldn't have been more experienced than I am though, so even if I was a novice, she shouldn't be able to tell. What if I make a fool of myself?! And I really do want to touch her, I just don't know how! I put my hand down next to my sheet of paper and accidentally toppled my jar of ink. I sighed and quickly wiped up the spilt ink before it stained the expensive wood.

Another thing I didn't think about before speaking was the nature of our relationship. We have yet to involve ourselves intimately with each other apart from a few heated kisses. Right now, we are still siblings, still friends. If we took the leap and started touching each other intimately we would be truly crossing to the relationship of lovers. It would kill me if she decided to leave me after that milestone in our relationship! Or worse, what if she didn't choose either of us but instead have intimate relations with us both until she was sure? I did not want Kurosaki to touch her!

I sighed tiredly as a headache pounded in my poor skull like a rubber ball bouncing against walls endlessly. I decided to have a maid bring me my tea, but when I got to my door the hall was empty. I looked outside to see if getting dark outside. It was already dinner time? I walked tiredly to the dining room and saw Rukia waiting for me already.

"Hey, are you alright? You look really worn out." She asked me sympathetically. I tried to smile but failed horribly.

"I feel like I'm dying. My head hurts, everything hurts, and for some reason I have failed at everything I tried to accomplish today." I told her sadly and glared at my food as it was presented to me. Would there be some sort of unwelcome surprise there as well?

"I'm sorry to hear that. I am still quite energised; would you like a massage after dinner? You should have a bath first though if you haven't yet." She offered and smiled at me. I felt my lips pull upwards.

"Only if you will let me return the favour?" I asked her and she shook her head.

"No, it's not necessary. You are the sore one here, not me. You should be taking it easy, not trying to make us even. Besides, one of us moaning is more than enough, what do you think a passer-by will think if they hear two sets of vocals resounding from your bed room? I will be pleased enough to help you out of your discomfort." She told me and my ears tinged pink. I felt a slow stirring in my nether regions and hastily willed it to go away.

"Did you make any preparations yet for our weekend away?" I asked her timidly and tried to ignore everything other that her words and my food.

"I did, your birthday is on a Saturday so I made the booking for that weekend. We leave Friday morning and return the Monday at noon. By the way, its new year's tonight, are we going to do anything? Ichigo and Karin invited friends over to Ichigo's place, only he will be spending the countdown time in the world of the living." She told me and I frowned. Usually the kitchens made all my favourites for my birthday dinner, I wasn't too thrilled to me leaving at that time. But the booking was made already, what could I do but go along with it?

"You aren't going with Kurosaki to the world of the living?" I asked her curiously, I wasn't aware that he knew how to open the Senkaimon.

"I have to take him there an hour before midnight and pick him up later an hour after the new year has begun. I could stay with him and the guys, but he wanted to have a private talk with Uryu and Chad, as well as his father so I should give him the privacy. We could maybe bring a birthday cake over for Kisuke and Yoruichi? It would be nice to have interesting company for a change. I honestly prefer their company to many of our colleagues here at the Seireitei." She asked me and I frowned.

"I could have the kitchen prepare a cake in time, but Yoruichi is over thirty thousand years old already, the candles wouldn't fit on that old hags' cake." I joked childishly and she burst out laughing.

"So, we're going then? You can take care of the cake and I will take care of refreshments then." She said cheerfully. Then she became thoughtful and a sad smile crossed her face.

"Byakuya, do you know why Kisuke and Yoruichi haven't pursued a romantic relationship with each other? I know they like each other a lot more than friends, though its more obvious for Kisuke than Yoruichi." She asked me and I sighed sadly.

"That is a complicated question. Perhaps her feelings for Soifon are what separates them? I do not understand that cat woman. From what I remember, they once had a romantic relationship before Yoruichi started training Soifon as her lieutenant. Maybe she is in love with Soifon more than she loves Urahara? At any rate, strong love of friendships can be just as strong as romantic love only lacking of the physical attraction. Urahara to my knowledge has always been in love with Yoruichi but only ever let her make their decisions. In my opinion if he loved her as I do you then he shouldn't have let her decide their relationship and should have fought to be with her." I told her and she sighed softly.

"That sounds like me and Ichigo. I don't know where we stand with each other anymore. He and I are so close. We could have a future together, in fact if you and I remained as we were before he and Renji died, we would probably be together already. But lately I don't feel physically attracted to him as I once was. I still love him. I would fight for him and die for him, lie for him and live for him, but I just can't see a future with him in front of me anymore. It really hurts, and confuses me. Does he feel that way as well? Should we talk or something? Would that help us at all? I know he is in love with me, but I can't say that I feel the same anymore. How much would it hurt him if I moved on without him? Perhaps I should do nothing and let him decide what is best for our relationship with one another." She told me and I reached over to fold my hand over hers.

"If you act as Urahara did, no one will be happy. You said you wouldn't be in a relationship where you weren't sure you were in love, do not doubt yourself. He will remain in your future, even if as only a friend. I don't think he will move on if you don't lead him forward, that seems to be the type of relationship the two of you have together. But, I know it is too soon to ask, but at present, how do you view me? What am I to you now? I will always be your friend, and your brother, but is that all I am to you at this moment?" I asked her curiously and she swallowed shyly.

"Well, I have always loved you in some way, now I just love you in many more ways, some more complicated than others. I see you as my family, my friend and confidant. Sometimes I think about what a future together could be like but honestly, I don't know how if we could manage everything together. Could we work together and be each other's support properly? If I chose to be with you would we really be happy? A normal relationship between Renji and I or Ichigo and I would have its ups and downs and complications but with us its more extreme and more frightening." She told me softly and quiet sadly. My heart leapt into my throat and my blood pumped furiously through my veins. What did she mean? What could I say or do to change her mind?

"What complications do you speak of?" I managed to ask, though I'm sure she saw the uncertainty and panic hidden behind my words.

"A normal family wouldn't have anything to live up to, they wouldn't have duties and obligations. But you and I do. Would our child be able to have the proper childhood that we never had? Would you want to mould them into being a worthy heir early in life? We don't know what might happen to us in the future, if you die then your bloodline dies with you. Even if another Kuchiki managed to become the next head of the clan, the purity the main family has preserved through you would be diminished. Does that pressure me to have a child early if I did choose you? I know you said we should wait until we are ready but you do need to really think about that. What if we do marry but I can't have children after my miscarriage? Or die before giving you a child? Would you be harsh on our child and bring it up sternly as you were? I think you would make a good father if you were allowed to treat your child as your child instead of as a person you had to rear into becoming the next head of the clan. I just don't think I could do it. I hurt from knowing what you went through, but if my child had to go through that as well then it would be better if we didn't go any further in our relationship and instead rather let things settle down until they become normal again." She told me and I panicked and squeezed her hand.

"Don't say that. I know we will be fine, but if we marry do you understand that as my wife you would no longer be able to participate in battle? You will remain captain of your division, but physical battles will be dealt with by others, even I one of the strongest captains am held back because of my status, and for good reason. As a wife you must take care of yourself for my sake as well as any child you could carry of mine. It is true that I do need an heir, sooner rather than rather, but Rukia I swear to you that I will not let any children we have suffer as we had. They will need to school in the nobility and regular soul reaper studies but apart from that I do not need to teach them to become the next head of the family until many years later. If we have children we will raise them together as a family, don't you worry about that. I promise I will do my best to be an upstanding father and remarkable husband if you choose to remain at my side. You don't need to decide now, I will wait until you are ready, however long it takes." I told her and gently brushed my thumb over her knuckles. Her hand shook a little under my own, so I squeezed it reassuringly until her tremors ceased.

"But what if I can't have children anymore? Didn't you think of that before?" She asked me sadly.

"I love you, I wish to stay with you regardless, but if you are willing, I am sure that the fourth or twelfth division could find a way to heal you if you aren't already fully healthy. I could only accept a child from you as my own, I would let my line die with me out of selfish pride if I was ever forced to wed someone from the family. I want to love you and I want you to love me if you can. I want our descendants to look up at our love and our achievements and strive to be like us. I won't pressure you for an heir either, remember, 'at our own pace'." I told her gently and softly held her cheek in my palm. She sighed and rested her face in my hand before looking up at me and smiling.

"Thank you, Byakuya. Truthfully, I am very curious about what children born of the two of us would look like. I don't think there is an ugly possibility. They would be very blessed indeed." She told me and I smiled charmingly at her before leaning towards her to give her a kiss. The door to the dining room opened abruptly.

"My Lord- "And the maid gasped. I held her gaze with my own and felt my rage storm through my eyes.

"I do not believe I rang for you, neither did you knock, is this the respect you show to your master?" I growled out at her and narrowed my eyes. She hurriedly fell to her knees and bowed with her hands and forehead against the floor.

"Forgive me my Lord!" She begged. I stood and I saw fear cross Rukia's eyes out of the corner of my own. I had to discipline the girl, it was customary. But I could forego it after what I was about to do you her.

"Why have to disturbed us?" I asked her harshly.

"My Lord, elder-sama requests an audience with you and I rand ahead because he was coming to the dining room even after we asked him to wait for you!" She sobbed and my eyes widened. In a flash I used my Kido on her to erase her recent memories and asked her to leave. Rukia looked alarmed and I placed my hand gently on her back to calm her.

"She will not be punished this once because of the urgency of her message, I am however suspicious as to why an elder is trespassing in our home." I told her roughly and walked to the door where I could tell it was about to open without even a knock. I drew my hand back and slapped him across the face. Rukia gasped in horror behind me. I gulped inwardly and forced myself to focus on the problem at hand.

"How dare you disrupt my house! Do not forget your manners, showing me this little respect is warrant for punishment!" I shouted at him and he flinched slightly.

"Forgive me, my Lord Kuchiki, I was told by the council of elders to deliver this to you post haste, as your first arrangement is for tomorrow morning." He told me and bowed. He handed me a small book that I opened and looked through. My eyes widened in anger and shock.

"A matchmaking list?! You are setting me up with these women?!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. The elder hastily walked back until he stood frozen against the wall.

"And I am to assume that it is for the sake of the clan?! Did you hear nothing I said? You will all be punished! Know your places! I will not take your lives but you will know humiliation! The lot of you are to cancel every single one of these dates, I don't care how it inconveniences you or the women you have assigned to me. The next elder to walk into my home without invitation's head will roll, do I make myself clear?! Now as you are so happy to be the errand boy, you will relay my message to the rest of the council. I intend to live a good long life, I will not die for tens of thousands of years so you better start being more accepting of my decisions! If you will for me to have a child so you can take my life and wrap strings around my child as you tried to with me, you've got another thing coming! I will annihilate the entire clan and build it up from scratch before I let anyone demine me or overpower me! Now go before what little reason I have retained escapes me and I punish you more severely! I don't believe you all need two arms or legs at your age, do you?!" I hissed cruelly at him. He bowed and quickly made his way to the nearest exit from the main house.

"Vipers, vipers, everywhere I look, someone is trying to manipulate me or undermine me!" I said and slammed the door to the dinning room shut. Rukia stood up and walked to the other door leading to our private part of the house.

"Wait. I'm sorry you had to see that, but they are really getting out of hand these days. The power grabbers are finally letting themselves be known. Do you want me to send for a birthday cake? Are we still going? I am sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean to frighten you, but try and see things through my perspective?" I asked her kindly. She was very unhappy but she nodded.

"Yes, you take care of the cake, make sure it's beautiful! I will get the refreshments sorted out, I think the four of us could use a few drinks." She told me and closed the door. I blinked owlishly. Did she just refer to alcohol? I thought she didn't drink? I sighed exasperatedly before walking to the kitchen and giving our exhausted chef a last-minute job. He smiled and bowed telling me it would be an hour making a cake for friends of ours.

I made my way to our room. No. My room. And tiredly walked to my closet to pick out clean clothes. After a moment I wondered if I was looking for the wrong clothes entered and wrapped gently on Rukia's bedroom door.

"Rukia, are we using our gigai's or can we go as we are?" I asked her and she answered from behind the door that we didn't need to use gigai's. I told her I was going to have a bath and try to relax before we left. It was no good going to them to wish them well in a sour mood. I had just relaxed in the bath when a knock came to my bathroom door. I froze in shock. Then quickly grew agitated?

"Yes?" I asked hesitantly, not sure if letting my irritation being known was a good idea, after all it was probably only Rukia.

"Uh, I'm really sorry to bother you I know you weren't feeling well earlier and you probably feel worse now. I hope I am not crossing a line here, but may I come in? I have bath salts used for massaging in the tub, they smell nice and they do wonders for your skin…want me to come in or should I wait until you are out? I promise I won't look!" She squeaked out cutely. A wide smile spread across my face.

"I would love that; the door is open." I told her and smiled as charmingly as I could at her before she looked away from me in embarrassment. I made a slow reach for the bubbles to cover my groin. I watched her watch me with a smile.

"That is as decent as I am going to get im afraid. You could always join me you know, it wouldn't be the first time we bathed together." I teased her and she did the unexpected. She took a cup of warm water from my bath and poured it over my head.

"That's what perverts get. Don't worry, I can help you wash your hair if you want me to." She said as an after thought of apology. I nodded happily and carefully parted my hair from my eyes. She snorted at my attempt at being cute and kissed my cheek before squeaking indignantly and hurrying behind me. I didn't know what had gotten her so embarrassed until I looked down. The cup of water she had dosed over my head had washed away the bubbles covering my groin. I coughed out in shock and quickly reached for more of them near the foot of the tub.

"What a sexy behind." She said teasingly and slapped it before I could sit down again. I managed to grab her hand and pull her forward in a rough kiss before pulling her into the bath tub with me. I leaned back and smirked at her.

"I believe, that is what perverts get, correct? But it simply wouldn't do for you to bath with your clothes on." I teased her and she gaped at me before letting a small, dangerous smile cross her lips. I gulped and pulled my legs closer together, preparing for an attack of some sort.

"Byakuya, do I have your word that you will never touch me inappropriately, unless I allow you to or we are married?" She asked me and I nodded dumbly.

"Uh, yes?" I answered lamely. She stood up in the bath, her robes were positively soaked! Slowly, she started disrobing and dropping each article of clothing to my floor in splattering sounds until she stood bare before me. This was the first time I had actually seen her assets and did I enjoy them! Her breasts were perfect subtle mounds and she had very little pubic hairs at her pelvic region. I quickly understood two problems.

One, was that I had been indecently staring at her most intimate parts, and two, I was fully erect without much coverage as her robes had soaked out a large portion of the water. I held a hand to my mouth and a hand over my shaft. I quickly pulled the lever on the tub to fill it more fully and threw in some more of the bubbling salts for decency.

"Do you want me to get out?" She asked awkwardly. I quickly snapped my head to her.

"No! Stay…" I said and looked down to her breasts before quickly looking away.

"I'm sorry! I can't help looking, it is a natural reaction, but I swear I will not touch you unless you permit me to!" I told her hurriedly. Once the water was filled high enough to cover the better part of her chest I pulled the lever to a stop and let the steam relax me as I hung my arms over the back of the bath. I gasped as I felt smooth toes touching my stomach. They were dangerously close to my erection. I grabbed her foot and gently placed it beside my thigh.

"Don't move so much. I am having difficultly with my arousal at the moment and it won't go away unless it is left alone completely." I told her and she gasped I made a sound of agreement and looked away.

"I am sorry for throwing you into the bath, it wasn't the brightest of my ideas, though I did enjoy seeing you fully." I told her, never taking my eyes away from the door handle.

"You were so quiet, I was beginning to think you found me unattractive." She joked, but I could hear the underlying fear under her humour. It was as Kurosaki had said, she covers her fears through humour.

"You are exquisite! I regret not being able to touch you. And I can't look at you again for fear of my erection not going away. My dreams will haunt me after this day." I told her sorrowfully. Slowly she moved towards me and I closed my legs tentively. Her chest had risen out of the water exposing her chest once more. I flushed and quickly looked away.

"What are you doing?" I asked her curiously.

"I said that you may not touch me in bad ways, not that you couldn't touch me at all, what's more, you never said that I couldn't touch you." She said and sat across my lap. I gasped and groaned in agony as her leg brushed over my erection. She looked startled before she wrapped one of her arms over my neck and started touching my chest. I breathed in harshly. I whined at not being able to do anything but sit there. It wasn't fair! Slowly though her hands started brushing against my skin with soap. Was she bathing me? I never realised that my erection was leaving me as I enjoyed the calming bath she was giving me.

"Will you turn around? It will be easier for me to wash your hair." She asked softly. I hadn't noticed that I had been holding her tightly until then and quickly dropped my arms. She stood up and walked back to give me room to turn around. I refused to look at her chest and thankfully her groin was hidden by bubbles. I sighed and groaned as she massaged my head while she washed my hair. Once she was done she moved back to the opposite side of the bath.

"Thank you, Rukia. Would you prefer for me to get out first, or will you let me bath you? I would enjoy washing your hair." I told her honestly and after a moment of consideration she agreed and turned around in the tub. She hummed while I washed her hair and carefully washed her body. I made extra certain not to touch anywhere too private. Once I was done I stood up in the tub and got out her eyes had widened considerably and I smiled at her.

"Do I measure up to your standards? Wouldn't we just fit perfectly together?" I teased her and she looked away shyly.

"I'm too small, it wouldn't fit. You will have to take one of the women on your matchmakers list." She told me and my smile froze.

"Please tell me you are joking?" I asked her incredulously. She shrugged and sighed sadly.

"I suppose." She said before washing the bubbles from her body and stepping out of the tub. I gasped and quickly wrapped a towel around my waist. She walked up to me and hugged me tightly. At first, she looked smug but then when she felt my erection from beneath my towel her happiness drained from her being replaced with uncertainty. I quickly pulled her flush against me and kissed her heatedly until she gasped for breath.

"So, do I physically please you?" I asked her softly and her cheeks flushed before she nodded and looked away. She took one of my towels and her wet clothes and flash stepped back to her room.

Yes, my dreams would definitely haunt me for the nights to come.

RUKIA

The cake was made perfectly and I had the booze waiting for us at the foyer. Once Ichigo made it to us we left and told him that we would meet him at Kisuke's shop. Tessai had taken the kids out for the night leaving Yoruichi and Kisuke alone. At first, I thought we were intruding until they happily welcomed us inside and we cut pieces of cake for ourselves. Yoruichi was very surprised and extremely happy to see her 'Bya-bo' after years of him ignoring her existence.

We laughed and drank, even Byakuya loosened up and cracked a few laughs after a few drinks from the world of the living. We met up with Ichigo and headed home. I knew he was quiet but I didn't feel sober enough to listen to him attentively and give him the comfort or advice that he needed. That could be done tomorrow when we were all sober.

Once we were home, Byakuya ended up rolling into my bed with me for a change. It happened sometimes if I chose to stay in my room, he would come looking for me. But tonight, we cuddled up snuggly with each other and wished each other a happy new year. Honestly, I couldn't remember half of what happened over the last two hours. Hopefully Byakuya would tell me in the morning.

One of the few things I did remembered though, was that Kisuke and Yoruichi now knew our secret.


	21. Chapter 21

BYAKUYA

The weeks since new years past quickly, and I now knew how Rukia behaved when intoxicated. She was intoxicating. A happy drunk. And unfortunately, very honest. I briefly recalled watching Urahara and the cat devil laughing and pointing at us as Rukia climbed into my lap and kissed me in front of them. Then she proceeded to tickle me and the alcohol made me susceptible to her nimble fingers. I was honestly surprised that the roof hadn't flown off of the house.

I decided to pack my own belonging for our weekend as I didn't quiet trust her judgement in my own clothing. She said that the meals being served on the ship were supposed to be five starred, so she decided for I us to eat there instead of out unless we hunger while we are away. I was starting to worry about us sharing a room. I didn't lie, my dreams had a rather active effect on my body, but thankfully I awoke before her so I could quickly head to the bathroom. We also drew the line at bathing together again, it was simply too much.

She had been acting strangely since that day as well. We seemed to touch each other more often yet there was a type of distance between us. I wasn't sure if I should be alarmed or not yet. She was shy to touch me and often only briefly touched my arms, back or chest. She seemed afraid to touch me more personally. Think about it, perhaps she believed that I had a problem with it? After all, she does know that I dislike physical contact with people, though those dislike never applied to her.

I however chanced touching her more intimately whenever I could, but not inappropriately although I was growing more and more curious and my hands twitched in anticipation of touching the places I knew I wasn't allowed to just yet.

The elders have been giving me problems as well. I honestly wished Rukia would just agree to be with me so that I can finally put some distance between them and us. But that lead to more problems. Society. Our relationship with each other would be highly disgraceful, taboo among the nobility and even among our associates at work. We were captains so there was little anyone could say in offence to us for fear of our anger, however the family would give us hell, and worse still would be that it was for good reason.

How horrific for me to marry my deceased wife's younger sister? Wouldn't it be worse if I married her daughter? They don't know the truth of our lives and the situation between us. She isn't truly my sister and until the arancar incident we have hardly treated each other as family. While that was terrible of me it still worked in our advantage. We wouldn't have this opportunity if we had grown closer as siblings.

I huffed as I finally packed away the last of my things. I just hoped that our weekend didn't end up becoming more trouble than its worth. I know that she was looking forward to all of the attractions but I knew I probably wouldn't be the best company for her as I didn't know enough about their world to offer her insight. And my own appreciation of nature would differ to hers immensely because of our different views of the world itself.

The office was being taken care of by Kurosaki while I was away. Surprisingly he has been trying really hard to get along with me and does all of the overwhelming work I assign to him. If Rukia and I married I would be kinder to him, until then I was going to try my damn best to keep him busy and away from her. He knew that Rukia and I were going away together and while he was unhappy about it he at least kept it to himself.

We met in her room where we could open the Senkaimon to the destination we chose. We opened it not too far from the destination and we were quickly boarded up on the ship where a woman showed up towards our room.

"Right here, Mr and Mrs Kuchiki, this is your suite aboard. Not many have the privilege of accessing our honeymoon suite. You look so perfect together, when did you get married?" She asked us, completely oblivious as to how awkward she had just made it. Rukia was going to protect when she addressed her as 'Mrs', but she was quickly thrown into shock when the woman called this room the 'honeymoon suite'. I too felt nervous and was hesitant to answer any of her questions.

"We have been married since…August?" I tried lamely and Rukia gaped at me. I smiled tightly and shrugged. We would have to adjust to their customs if only for our stay here. Rukia carried her suitcase to the side of the bed she usually slept on and left me to bid the women farewell.

"I knew it. My ticket clearly says 'Miss Kuchiki' on it. And no where on here does it say that I booked a honeymoon suite! They should specify that before you book!" She complained and tossed out stamped tickets onto the night table beside her. I sighed.

"Does it truly matter that it is supposed to be for a married couple? And you many very well become a 'Mrs' in the future anyway, I think Mrs Kuchiki suites you well. And we do look good together." I teased her and she puffed out her cheeks.

"We have a few hours to get comfortable here before a boat takes up to Rabbit Island, I hope you don't mind but I really wanted to see the bunnies as soon as possible. A whole island filled with cuddly Byabunnies! I couldn't resist the temptation." She told me excitedly. I smiled at her enthusiasm.

"It is alright, I expected as much. Let's tour the ship before it gets too crowded." I offered and she nodded.

"Actually, we are on the top floor of the ship, it's quite expensive to stay here compared to the ground level and second floor, so not many people should be on this floor with us. I thought you would like some distance away from people." She said thoughtfully and I smiled at her and opened the door for her.

Overall the quarters weren't terrible, we had a more secluded dining room overlooking an outside deck with a swimming pool and patio. There was a bar and a small ball room as well for the more sophisticated.

I sighed contently as a fresh breeze of sea air hit my face and I looked around the room for Rukia. She was leaning on the railing surrounding the outside pool area looking down at the people below us. I slowly walked towards her to join her but when I was right next to her my hand hovered over her waist. Should I touch her this way out in public or should I remain at a respectful distance. Eventually I decided to touch her shoulder instead. Rather stay safe.

"Look, they look so much smaller down there!" She said excitedly and leaned over the railing, kicking her legs out joyously. Her almost bare legs. It should be criminal to wear shorts that short! She almost fell over and I reached out quickly to grab her around her waist and pull her back to me. She giggled girlishly and looked up at me through mischievous eyes.

"See, its not that difficult to touch me, it is?" She teased and I gaped at her in horror. She saw! She knew! I turned my face away from her and schooled my expression. I refused to look at her smug face. She quickly got my attention however when she jumped onto the railing and sat dangerously over the edge. I swallowed and leached for her waist again, moving forward. What I didn't expect was for her to wrap her legs around my waist and pulled us flush against each other! The sudden friction went straight to my groin, why must she do this to me?

"Rukia, enough. We are in public, what's more is that this behaviour is shameful when we are not alone." I told her and she rubbed her pelvis against mine teasingly.

"Oh no it's not, not in this world. Look there, and there, and there, and look at those two over there, grinding on each other like sex starved puppies! Perhaps they aren't a good example actually, but my point is that physical touching and kissing between partners in this world is normal. It shows the people around you how much you love the other person. And we are so far away from them that they couldn't see what we did here anyway, and even these other people here in the pool or sunbathing on the patio, how would they know how intimate we are being at the moment?" She asked and squeezed her legs around me tighter, making me gasp.

"It is still strange. And they will definitely know something was happening when I am humiliated by the tent in my shorts!" I hissed out at her and glared. She looked startled and fearful and looked away shamefully, casting her eyes downwards. I felt a pang in my chest for making her sad when she was just so happy.

"I'm sorry- "I started but she kissed me gently before moving away.

"No, it's my fault. You can't hide your arousal like I can, it was incredibly inconsiderate to you. I will try to make it up to you later." She said sadly and smiled shyly.

"You know. Rabbit island has a beach open to tourists. We could find a more secluded part and have a swim together away from the other people. But! Bunnies first!" She said excitedly. And I couldn't help but smile at her. I startled however when I hand that wasn't Rukia's touched my arm.

"Hey handsome, are you single?" Said a large busted woman as she squeezed my arm into her breasts. I harshly yanked myself feel from her.

"I feel violated!" I exclaimed and quickly pulled Rukia off the railing so we could get away. Rukia glared at her and pulled me to a stop.

"Ah, hello? Clearly spoken for, thank you, skank." She hissed and the busty woman laughed shrilly and looked down at her dangerously.

"Does your daddy know you are skipping school to be with an older man, sweetie?" She asked condescendingly. Rukia glared at her and smiled in a dangerously sweet way that made me shiver.

"I am an adult, thank you very much. And this is my…boyfriend!" She shouted and blushed fiercely. I grinned and picked her up, letting her wrap her legs around me.

"Still too shy to say that I am your husband?" I teased her and kissed her in front of the shamefully common woman.

"As for you, skank? I feel degraded enough having you touch my person, I do not associate with common humans like yourself, I will give you only one warning, leave us be. We do not care for company apart from each other's, and you are highly distasteful, having no actual assets to your person over than your breasts, it is no wonder you cannot find a man to love you and respect you, you don't even respect yourself." I said and lowered Rukia to the ground and walked away with her while the woman stood gaping at my back with tears in her eyes.

"That was mean, Byakuya. Its one thing for a woman to insult a woman, its different when a man does it, and I'm used to being looked down on because of my lack of feminine charms." She said sadly.

"Lack of? I see nothing lacking in the least, you are perfect in every way! Perhaps some other man would like something that a woman like her offers, but I am not him. You seem to be created perfectly to my liking. I love absolutely everything about you, and I love your subtle charm way more than you can imagine." I told her and kissed her neck and collarbone. She sighed and ran her fingers through my hair.

"Thank you, Byakuya. But, if I was made specifically to your liking, does that mean that you were made for mine?" She teased me and smacked my behind softly. I smiled at her affectionately.

"It does. I sometimes worry if I would be enough to make you happy, or please you as you deserve to be, but then I try to imagine if I could see you being happier with anyone else, and I can't. If I thought you would be happier with someone else more than myself, I would have let you go and silently yearned or you. I wouldn't keep you with me if I thought we were perfect for each other, no one understands me and accept me as you do, I just fear that the differences between us might one day become to great for you too handle." I told her sadly and looked at every aspect of her beautiful face before kissing the side of her mouth affectionately. She stood up with me and nuzzled her face into my neck.

"I…love you Byakuya. I also love the different part of you that isn't human. I will never leave you, no differences between us would be great enough for me to do that because I know that you love me." She told me and kissed my neck affectionately. My eyes glanced to the clock, it was almost time for us to board the boat taking us to the Rabbit island. I caught glance of the busty bimbo watching us and glared scornfully at her. She flinched and walked away swiftly.

"I love you more, now we should get going or else we will miss the boat ride to the island and you will miss your chance at seeing the rabbits." I told her and she gasped in horror before pulling me towards the stairs leading to the lower decks. Once we were seated in the boat, we were lowered onto the water and a man steered the boat to the shore. It was a strange type of mechanical boat that didn't require man power.

Once we arrived we were directed to the tour guides, however Rukia look a map and a bag of animal feed and said we would look around at our own pace, she didn't want a guide telling what to do and what not to do. I couldn't have agreed more with her. This island was indeed rabbit infested.

"Oh my god, this is like a bunny paradise! Here Byakuya, hold this one, I want to take a photo!" She said excitedly and I shook my head. I had worn a rabbit ears Alice band to make her happy, the last thing I wanted to do was let evidence of it be taken!

"Please, Byakuya? Look at its little nose twitch! I want to kiss it!" She said and began drawing the rabbit closer to her face. I don't know why I was jealous of a rabbit but I quickly picked it up out of her hands and held it sulkily.

"I will not share your kisses. Even with a rabbit. Do you know how dirty they are? It could make you sick!" I began giving her reasons not to kiss them, before I knew it I was out of breath and sighted to collect it. A flash went off, then another.

"Smile for me! Come on, then you can take one of me with a bunny too!" She said and I sighed and smiled over the rabbit's head, letting its ears rest on either side of my face.

"That adorable! Come here, let me kiss you!" She said excitedly and showed me the picture she took. Heat flooded my face. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could she pressed her camera into my hands and picked up a white rabbit, unlike the black one I had been holding.

"I will only keep these pictures for myself, don't you worry. Although, I would love to show my children how adorable their daddy is." She told me teasingly making my face heat even more. Daddy? Father of her children? That's me?! Thank heavens!

"Does that mean, that you agree to be mine, and only mine?" I asked her quietly after taking a few happy pictures of her with the rabbit. Her face flushed cutely and she hugged the wild rabbit to her chest. I quickly took another picture of her and she gasped. I smiled at her laughed at her fake angry face, as if she could be angered amidst all there furballs of cuteness. Dear lord, now I thought that they were cute as well! What has she done to me!?

"It's difficult not falling in love with someone who is always there and always a source of comfort to me. I feel comfortable in your arms and I am happy with the way you treat me, though I am afraid of your temper…" She trailed off sadly. I handed her back her phone and kissed her lovingly on the lips.

"Please do not fear me. Being what I am, naturally nothing should be on par with me except the few who remain my equals, you are my equal as well, Rukia. You must understand that I cannot behave as regular people do and when I am angry with the family or with colleagues at work, it doesn't include you. Kindness is something I can not ever allow myself to show knowing how heavy my duty is. That is why I will only be the real me around you and our future family if we are lucky enough to have one." I told her, she nodded and smiled shyly.

"I know that, and I love you. Do you want to find a private place for us to swim? We can see the bunnies again on our way back to the boat." She said and nudged me companionably. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and let her lead us to the beach away from the rabbit colony.

She did find us a good place away from the humans making a ruckus at the beach. It was quiet and isolated and no one was in sight even though if I really tried I could make out the joyous laughter of humans a distance away. Rukia took off her shirt and folded it neatly on the sand, as well and her shorts, sunglasses and phone. She placed her shoes beside them and glanced over her should at me.

"Hey, you aren't planning on swimming with your clothes on, are you? Strip them!" He teased me and I slowly took off my shirt and shorts and folded them neatly beside hers. I came to join her once I was ready, I felt awkward wearing swimming briefs under my shorts but it was better than a speedo or trunks. The briefs weren't too tight but were loose enough not to make my groin feel pressured.

I slowly walked into the water towards Rukia. She laughed and kicked water at me playfully and I in turn hit large waves of water at her making her squeal cutely. She was a magnificent creature! I watched the water ripple around her as she finally had enough of the waterplay and walked to the shore. I followed her closely until she turned around and pressed herself to my groin. I groaned loudly and bowed my head.

"Rukia, don't." I told her gently and looked at me hesitantly before touching my hips gently.

"I want to show you something, can I? I it very intimate, but we are alone here, no one will see it but if you don't want to try it that is fine as well." She said shyly and leaned her forehead on my chest as she touched my abdomen seductively. I groaned inwardly before deciding.

"Show me?" I asked her huskily and she smiled before leading me to the sand nearest to our belongings.

"Lay down on the sand, make yourself comfortable." She told me and I nodded and did as I was told, except I leaned on my elbows, not wanting to get sand in my hair. She looked bashful and hesitant before standing over me and finally straddling me. I felt my arousal deepen and groaned in defeat. She enjoyed my agony! It wasn't a moment later that she moved on top of my arousal. She watched me carefully and blushed fully.

"Rukia, what are you doing?" I asked her carefully and my arms shook from her gentle rocking over my erection.

"Well, I… For months after Renji and I married we never consummated our marriage, he tried to get me used to the feel of his body to try and calm me down and make me less afraid. This is how we began, I thought that maybe we could try it…it's not sex but it is almost as intimate." She told me and I sat up and ran my hands over her thighs soothingly.

"You were afraid to be with Abarai?" I asked her softly and she flinched.

"No! Well, yes. It's just that I was uncomfortable and… I don't want to talk about this now." She told me sadly and looked away from me quickly. I hushed her and gently rubbed her lower back and her thighs. She arched to my touch and ground herself against my arousal. I would have to try and talk to her later. I groaned her name in pleasure and dug my heels into the sand. I wrapped my hands around her and rolled her onto her back and kissed her fiercely.

"May we do it like this?" I asked her softly and her nodded and wrapped her legs around me. She kissed and sucked at my neck and my shoulders as I rubbed myself against her. She gasped and shuddered.

"Byakuya!" She called as my thrusts against her hastened. I kissed her along her neck and chest and whispered her name into a kiss against her lips as I reached my limit. I leaned my forehead against hers and panted out. I felt amazing! But I was very aware that she had not experienced the same euphoria I had.

"Rukia, may I touch you? I want to try and please you, please?" I asked her and she froze a little before smiling worriedly at me.

"No, I am fine, it's okay really! Besides we should get back to the boat, it's just about time for us to head back to the ship, I want to see the bunnies for a little while before we go." She told me sadly and I sighed. Something on the matter of intimacy troubled her and I wanted to know what it was as soon as possible. I just didn't want to upset her. I nodded and got dressed. My briefs were sandy on the outside and sticky on the inside. It was highly uncomfortable.

I watched her pick up the rabbits and hug them tightly. She tried to kiss them a few times but I cleared my throat and she pouted, settling for cuddling them tighter.

"Byakuya, come feed them with me! See how it feels when they eat from your hand, watch how their cute little noses twitch!" She said cheerfully and I obliged by taking a piece of cabbage and picking up a rabbit. It was endearing how they ate, and Rukia flashed her camera light towards me again.

"Couldn't help it! I want to remember how cute this was perfectly!" She defended and quickly hid her phone in her holder. I sighed and remembered how glorious she felt beneath me, and yet we hadn't actually made love. I needed to show her that I could be the lover that she needed. I needed her to let me try to please her, did she perhaps lack faith in my abilities? That thought immediately made me want to prove her wrong.

Rukia actually cried when we left the Rabbit island. Perhaps I could find her a pet rabbit in our world? Though it was unlikely as rabbits in our world were mostly wild. When we got back to our room I told her that she could bath before me as long as I was allowed to watch the sand off of my body first.

Once I was out of the bathroom she smiled at me from the chair looking out at the sea from the small balcony. She made her way towards me and kissed my cheek before entering the bathroom with her night clothes.

I heard her start the water in the bathtub and decided it was safe to dress into my nightclothes. Human nightclothes were uncomfortable, but my satin pyjamas were at least soft against my skin. Not as soft as her skin was against mine at the beach though. I groaned. I had, had a small taste of her now and I wanted more, I wanted everything of her. Desperately.

More than that, I wanted to please her. Watch her writher in pleasure beneath me. I needed her to let me touch her. But first I had to know why she seemed turned off by me trying to please her in the first place? And why was she uncomfortable with Abarai? Was it something he did?

Did he hurt her?

Anger boiled in my blood. I knew that he had been her first, after all he was her husband and I had been married to Hisana before her, I couldn't judge her or hold a grudge against either of them. It did hurt to be her second man, but I intended to be the man she belonged with. Abarai was a piece of her past and I cold accept that. I just need her to tell me why she was fearful so that I do not make the same mistake with her. I would never forgive myself.

I decided to lay on the bed and try to relax myself before she came out. I would let her get comfortable before I tried to pry answers from her.

RUKIA

I felt a dull throb between my legs from our time at the beach. I really wished that he had lasted longer. My body tremored at the memory of his erection brushing against the barriers of our clothing, against my over pulsing arousal. It was different with Byakuya than it was with Renji. I couldn't relax with Renji properly or feel aroused because I wasn't attracted to him in that way and when we did try to be intimate, those feelings, knowing that I made the worst life long choice for the two of us that I possibly could have…turned me off the sex completely.

I decided to try to be the perfect wife for him anyway and eventually let him have me. He did try so hard to try and please me but I didn't like how it felt. I didn't know if it was just being with him or the actions in general.

I towelled myself down and slipped the light pink satin night dress over my head and pulled at the creases until it fell over my behind properly. I looked myself over in the mirror and sighed. My hair was still slightly damp but I towel dried it to the best of my ability. Otherwise I looked good. The first thing I noticed when I exit the bathroom was him laying on the bed with his eyes closed. Carefully I crawled up the bed where he was over his body until I face faced with his peaceful face. I kissed his nose softly and bushed my lips over his. I knew he wasn't asleep but I also knew that he wouldn't resist a kiss if he were awake. I smiled as he kissed my lips and slid his hands over my sides. His dark grey satin pyjamas suited him well, they complimented the dreamy colour of his stormy eyes. I felt the familiar stilling of arousal in my lower belly and tried to stomp in out.

His hand found my thigh and travelled slowly back up my body under the night dress. I gasped and sat up, but he didn't remove his hand, he kept it there on my hip massaging circles gently.

"Did you have an enjoyable bath?" He purred into my ear and I shivered. My body reacted traitorously to my will. I forced a smile and nodded.

"Rukia, thank you for what you did for me today, I would like to try something as well, if you would let me? I will not attempt anything other than pleasing you, you have my word." He told me and I smiled sadly at him before my smile dropped completely and I looked down sadly. I gently crawled off of his body and sat on my side of the bed.

"I'm sorry, I don't really want to. It's not you, it's just that I have had bad experiences of it and I don't really want to go through them again." I said gently looking into his eyes. I could see the hurt in them at my refusal.

"Rukia, I know it displeases you but would you please tell me? Abarai must have done something wrong and I don't want to do it as well, but it is very important to me that I please you well. I just can't do it knowing you aren't enjoying yourself as I am. Please? Please tell me?" He whispered gently into the shell of my ear before kissing the back of my shoulder making me shiver.

"I don't know how to. I feel like I would be betraying Renji and I know that it was my fault anyway." I told and lay my head down comfortably on the soft pillow.

"It's alright, just start talking. I assure you, you will not be betraying him in anyway. It is really bothering me, not knowing things about you." He told me and I felt tears prick my eyes.

"I just don't want you to think badly of me, that's all." I told him and pulled the blanket at the foot of the bed over my body. He rolled onto his side next to me and pulled me closer to him.

"It's alright, I promise I won't think poorly of you." He told me and killed my head softly. I took a shaky breath wondering where I should start.

"Renji was in love with me and as you know, I didn't feel the same. I just couldn't see him romantically yet even after stupid Ichigo crashed my wedding I didn't use it as an excuse to back out, I decided to marry him anyway. I just couldn't feel aroused around him and I felt horrible when he tried to help me by trying to please me. My mind and body completely rejected it and I knew I had made a serious life long mistake. He thought it was only the fear of my first time that made me act as tense and unwilling as I was, but honestly, I couldn't let him make love to me because I knew I didn't love him back the way I was supposed to. And when he did make me feel good I quickly asked him to stop because I didn't like the feeling of losing my composure and my control in that way with someone I didn't love. The first and only time we were together was before he left for his mission in the world of the living. Quite honestly, I didn't even feel romantically interested in Ichigo in that way at the time, but Renji was angry with me and I knew I was being a terrible wife to him so I let him have me. I couldn't tolerate him trying to please me as it made me feel worse so he only barely prepared me before we started. It was horrible and painful and I hope I never feel that again. I cried for a while. It wasn't just the pain of my first time, I was just confused and hurt and don't know what I was feeling. He was my husband, but it felt so wrong and I knew I had to give myself to him anyway." I told him and I bit my lip to supress my tears. My hand had unconsciously slid between my legs comfortingly.

Contrary to what he had said, Byakuya seemed livid. He was absolutely furious. I watched his hand clench in anger and I stared worriedly at him. I gulped and slid off of the bed.

"I shouldn't have told you anything, I'm sorry. I think I'm going to sit outside for a while." I told him and took the blanket with me. My heart truly hurt. I told him something so private that I couldn't have told another soul, not even Ichigo, hell, especially not Ichigo! I shivered as I sat down on the chair I had been sitting on before and tucked the blanket around myself and rested my head on my knees. The door opened and I thought nothing of it until an arm slipped under my knees and another slipped under my arm, holstering me up.

"Wha- Hey!" I squeaked as he carried me inside and sat me gently back to the bed, going back to lock the balcony door and close the windows hat let the cold sea air into our room.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, please let me try to please you? I understand now why you are so reluctant, you shouldn't feel that way now. You weren't a terrible wife Rukia, you were just with the wrong man. Let me love you. Please?" He begged and closed his eyes as he pressed his forehead to mine

"But what if it wasn't just Renji? What if I don't like it? Promise you will stop if I ask you to?" I asked him desperately and he hummed in my ear as he kissed and pulled at it gently making my heart beat faster.

"I swear, but you will need to let me remove your clothing. All of it." He told me and I shivered. A strange shiver erupted in my lower belly and I felt unsure. I knew I felt different for Byakuya than I did with Renji, but I was still afraid. And I was self-conscious at having him touch me and observe me close up. Still, I nodded and crawled further up the bed allowing him room as well.

He gently tugged my nightgown over my head and stared intently at my breasts making me shiver. For a while his arms roved over my body, stopping briefly at the pink panties I wore beneath. I slowly brought my arms up to cover my chest. This was different from when we were in the bath together. Then he had no intention of touching me like this. His eye shot to my arms and he leaned forward to kiss me. He gently pushed my shoulders down, laying me on the bed before him.

He licked my lips and slowly I opened my mouth. I knew what he was trying to do and even though I didn't like it I would at least let him try. I opened my mouth a bit more and his tongue slowly licked inside my mouth brushing the different parts of my cheek and the roof of my mouth. It felt sort of ticklish and make my stomach feel funny. He slipped his tongue under my own and gently teased the underside of my mouth I couldn't help but smile because it felt ticklish. His tongue licked from the base of my tongue to the tip and he pressed his mouth harder into mine as he licked my tongue and tried to suck it. I gasped and he retreated staring at me calculatingly.

"How did that feel?" he asked me and I grinned and looked down shyly.

"I don't know. It was very different to what happened before when I tried. It was…ticklish." I told him and giggled a bit. He smiled happily and crawled backwards from me before parting my legs. My eyes widened and I hesitantly allowed him to. I could see the bulge in his pants but I knew he wouldn't do anything to me. I watched him look in between my legs hungrily before gulping and crawling up to me between them, staring at nothing but my eyes.

"Rukia, now you can try to kiss me as I kissed you." He told me huskily and I nodded hesitantly. He was very skilled and I didn't know anything. His tongue also seemed longer than mine. I licked my lips nervously and he stared at then before pressing his lips against my own and trying to lick them open.

I opened my mouth again and carefully licked his lips. I slowly started licking the roof of his mouth and tongued the sides of his mouth. I didn't feel anything special in kissing in this way, it seemed to do nothing but exhaust energy. But the thought of being the only woman allowed this privilege did excite me somewhat. I licked under his tongue and he lifted it to give me better access. I trailed my tongue up and down the underside of his tongue and eventually licked to the top and tried to lick his tongue. Only his tongue moved as well. Where I licked the one side of his, he licked the other side of mine. I tried to lick the top of his tongue but his pushed mine down and licked the length of it before teasingly touching the back of the top of my mouth. I bit his lip gently and he gasped giving me the chance to pin his tongue with my own and lick it in victory. I grinned into the kiss and he pulled away from me.

"You fight dirty when it comes to kissing. You are quite good at it as well. What do you think about it so far?" He asked me and I smiled teasingly at him.

"It wasn't bad really I suppose. And of course, I am good, I tricked you and pinned your tongue down." I teased and he huffed play angrily.

"Just like you, teasing me all the time. May I continue?" He asked me and I nodded and lay back down. He positioned himself over me gently, trying but failing to keep his arousal hidden from me.

He gently kissed my face all over and started sucking and biting from my neck to my chest. Slowly he thumbed one of my nipples and rubbed the underside and the top of it gently. I felt my insides start to tingle with a strange kind of want. He moved on from my chest to my breast and gently and sensually massaged it he lowered his mouth and gently grazed it with his teeth, making me jump a little. He looked up at me and flicked his tongue out under it and sucked it and gently pulled his teeth around it. it didn't feel terrible but it didn't feel all the wonderful either. He started massaging my other breast as well and popped my nipple out of his mouth.

"Am I allowed to touch you…everywhere?" He asked cautiously. I nodded and his mouth event back down to my nipple. I was so focused on his mouth and his hand on my other breast that it shocked me when he slid his thumb over the lips between my legs, under the panty I was wearing. He watched me closely. He didn't stop but he didn't do more than stroke it. He changed his position and started sucking my other breast and twisting my now cold nipple between his fingers. He stoked the opening between my lips with his other hand and slowly let his thumb enter the top part of it. I gasped and jumped when he found the hidden bundle of nerves.

He stroked me softly and leaned higher over me and covered my chest with his own. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me. We play fought each other but he won when he rubbed me and made my body buck forward. I gasped and pulled my face back staring at him.

"What are you doing to me? It feels nice but…strange." I said carefully. He pulled his finger back and licked it making me blush. I stared at him in shock. How could he lick it after it has been down there?!

"I am more familiar with the female anatomy after previous experiences with the opposite sex. There is a pleasurable bundle of nerves right at the top, and if touched correctly can make a woman extremely aroused to the point of release. Do you like what I am doing so far? Would you like me to stop? I would like to try to arouse you as much as possible if you would allow me." He told me and I stared at him dumbly.

"I think it would be more affective if I knew what to expect, I am too stressed at the moment, but you can continue. I like the way you are making me feel." I told him shyly and turned my face away in embarrassment. I clutched the sheets with my hands and prepared myself for him to continue. He kissed my neck and sucked my breast.

"Good, then I want to try something else, you must trust me though, I won't hurt you." He told me and I began to worry. I knew he was agonisingly hard already, did he want to put it inside of me? I felt myself become tenser and I nodded. He climbed down the bed, he hooked his fingers under the straps of my panties and pulled them down my legs. I gasped and tried to cover myself.

He carefully, gently felt his way up my legs with his hands and watched me. I was sure that I was watching him with wide eyes at this point. He trailed wet kisses, mixes of kisses, licks and bites down my inner thighs. They trembled fiercely. He leaded his head over my hand and kissed the bottom of my stomach lovingly. He took my hand away from my groin and brought it towards his lips. He watched me as he kissed it.

"Trust me, Rukia. You know I won't hurt you." He told me. He was right. I knew that but I still didn't know what he was going to do. He trailed wet kisses down my stomach to my pubic hairs and touched them gently with one of his hand.

"You smell nice, Rukia." He said huskily and I couldn't help the shiver that shook my body and tightened my nipples. They felt extra sensitive now. I gasped in horror as he parted the lips between my legs. I tried to close them but he looked up at me and stopped them with his hands, stroking them reassuringly. His stare froze me on the sheets. I was suddenly feeling all kinds of hot and cold flushes. I was sure I was blushing furiously.

"Uh, why are you opening me up like that?" I asked him embarrassedly and hid my mouth with my hand. He smiled cheekily and parted my legs.

"You will have to wait and see, but try not to close your legs. I am going to be busy down there." He told me and I gaped in shock. He watched me carefully as he lowered his face between my legs and opened the lips again. I shivered in anticipation. His hot breath made me shiver. Then I felt it. He was still watching me, but his tongue was licking my opening! I gasped and shuddered. Slowly it started feeling really good. I gasped and shivered and slowly let myself loosen up a bit.

"Byakuya!" I cried out when he licked the ball of nerves at the top of my vulva. It felt so good! I moaned and fidgeted and my thighs started shaking. Then came a strange, but very familiar feeling.

"Wait! Stop! Stop, stop, stop!" I told him and quickly crawled back further onto the bed against the pillows. I gasped and panted and my legs throbbed and my arousal pulsed painfully. I looked at the bathroom and quickly got up. He stopped me and grabbed my wrist.

"Rukia, what's wrong?" He asked me and my legs trembled. I looked to the floor to avoid his gaze and quickly covered my breasts with my other arm.

"I don't know, I just really feel like I have to…pee quickly. I don't know why, I just really need to go." I told him and pulled away from him and ran into the bathroom.

I quickly ran to the toilet and sat down. I peed but the feeling didn't go away. I cleaned myself up quickly and left the bathroom. One hand covering my breasts, the other covering my womanhood.

"Wait, Rukia, come here. I'm not done with you yet." He told me and I flushed.

"I don't know." I said cautiously and looked at my nightgown laying tangled on the bed.

"Please? I promise I can make you feel even better, and I also want to taste more of you." He told me lustfully and I shivered.

"What exactly do I taste like?" I asked him, playing for time.

"Like something delicious and sweet, but I can't quiet label it. I really enjoy it, it's like nothing you can imagine." He told me and I blushed fiercely.

"But I just went to the bathroom! You can't…do that…now!" I tried to reason with him but he got off the bed and walked over to me, picking me up and setting me back on the bed.

"It doesn't matter, I want you." He said and I squeaked. I gasped when he pried open my legs. I was still sensitive and throbbing and I didn't know if I wanted him to continue. It felt out of control and I hated that feeling.

I watched him lower his head between my legs and he began suckling. Tears prickled at my eyes and I began panting and gasping. I whined and cried out. My legs shook and it felt really good, until I felt like I had to pee again. So soon!

"Wait, I think I need to pee again." I told him and tried to sit up but he pulled me violently against his face. I gasped out and fell back to the bed. I moved my legs irritably and tried to get free. I felt worse and worse by the second.

"Byakuya! Stop!" I said and he hesitated before continuing. I felt tears prick at my eyes and my hips bucked involuntarily. I whimpered sadly.

"Please stop. I need to go to the bathroom." I begged him.

"No, you don't." He told me and I glared at him and tried to pull myself away from him again.

"Yes, I do! I can feel it!" I said and succeeded getting away from him but he didn't let me leave the bed.

"Rukia, it feels the same way for men as well, trust me I know. You do not need to urinate, it is only the feeling of oncoming release." He told me and I flushed.

"No, you don't know. Are you seriously going to make me wet the bed?!" I asked him angrily and he laughed. I felt like hitting him! I took a pillow and violently threw it at him before collecting my nightgown and my underwear and running into the bathroom.

I quickly went to the toilet again. I felt so humiliated! I didn't know if he was right or wrong but I knew that I was embarrassed and it was his fault. I tried to pee, and I did a little but not as much as I thought I was going to.

I heard him knocking at the door and I flushed. I cleaned myself up properly and redressed. I brushed my hair and made sure I was properly composed before leaving. I walked to the door and froze. The heat flooded to my face. He had been tongue kissing my vagina! How could I not be embarrassed! I took a deep breath and exited the bathroom, only to be tightly enveloped in a hug.

"I'm sorry. I know this is all new to you, I should have given you time to adjust, and I should have stopped when you asked me to, I only wanted to show you that it wasn't as you thought. I didn't mean to scare you or embarrass you." He told me soothingly and I felt embarrassed tears prickle my eyes. And I sniffed a little and wiped at them.

"I know how I felt. I also know that you must know better than me what will happen, but it just…what if I did wet the bed! Do you even…I would never face you again! I swear I would run from you for eternity!" I shouted and hit his chest. He released me and I ran to the bed and climbed in snuggly.

"Rukia, everyone is different. You even get women they call 'squirters' because their climax makes them forcefully ejaculate fluid as men do." He told me and I sat up in horror.

"You're telling me I'm one of those!?" I asked him sceptically. He hurried to the bed and took my hands in his own.

"No! It doesn't mean that, besides we won't know until you do reach climax." He told me comfortingly and I narrowed my eyes at him. Then I just wouldn't let it get that far ever again I decided. He seemed to read my mind because he kissed me and snuck his hand between my thighs making me gasp.

"Don't even think it. I have tasted you now and I will never have enough of you. I want to make you feel like that over and over again, until you become more confident in your sexuality and let me love you properly." He told me and licked my lips, I gasped and he forced his tongue inside my mouth and licked my tongue erotically. I moaned into the kiss and he pinned me down to the bed, as well as my hands by intertwining our fingers. He pressed his erection hard onto my panties between my legs and I cried out in pleasure. He moaned longingly and rubbed himself against he before stopping, taking a shuddering breath and getting up from me.

"See, now I need to go and I assure you, I do not need to pee." He said and closed the bathroom door hurriedly behind himself. I expected to hear groaning and I did, but groaning of pain, along with the sound of the shower. When he walked out later he was shivering and cold and quickly jumped into bed.

"Oh my god, what did you do?!" I asked him in shock and he looked up at me briefly before looking away proudly.

"Nothing chases away arousal like a cold shower. It took longer to go away than I thought it would though." He told me and I flinched and tears prickled my eyes. After everything he did to try and make me feel good he didn't even accept his own release.

"Byakuya, why didn't you just do what we did at the beach? We were in a great position and everything." I told him sadly. He looked me hard in the eye.

"I refuse to accept release or pleasure if you will not experience it with me. I will allow myself release, only when you allow me to please you properly." He told me sternly and closed his eyes. I felt strange. Grateful and yet horribly unhappy. Before I knew it, I was sobbing into the covers. I pulled them over my head as I always do when I cry but before I could get a strong grip on them they were pulled from my grasp and I was pulled against him. He hushed me softly and rubbed my back soothingly.

"Shush, its alright, don't worry." He told me and I wiped away my tears with my hand.

"I'm sorry Byakuya." I said sadly and tried to go back to my side of the bed but he stopped me and climbed between my legs. Just knowing he was there now started arousing me again. He kissed me heatedly before pulling away when I needed breath.

"No one could even wish for a mate as beautiful as you are. I will wait for you, however long it takes." He told me gently and I felt more tears roll of my cheeks. Before he could move away from me again I pulled the collar of his top and kissed him. He leaned his arms on either side of me and I began unbuttoning his top. His eyes widened and he looked at me in curiosity.

"Can we…try one more time tonight? I promise I won't run away again." I told him and slid the top off of his shoulders and leaned forward to kiss and bite his neck. He trembled and shook. The sounds he made hit my arousal like a thunderstorm! I moaned and cried out.

"Take your top off?" I asked him and he nodded. While he took it off I quickly removed my nightgown again. I felt his chest and his stomach muscles in amazement. His body was perfect! He immediately leaned down and started nuzzling my chest. I arched slightly. He threw off the duvet cover and positioned himself better over me. He kneaded me more desperately this time and I cried out in pleasure every time he brushed his clothed erection over my opening.

He teased my breasts and occasionally leaned up to kiss my mouth. He seemed to savour every sound I made.

"Byakuya!" I cried out and shook. My legs trembled and my hips bucked. Tears of ecstasy ran across my cheeks and I cried out in pleasure every time he touched me or licked me. My body was shaking like a leaf and I felt incredibly exposed and vulnerable. I had long lost control of my bodies violent reactions and eventually an explosive pleasurable feeling coursed through me. It started at my vagina and travelled down my legs causing them to tremble uncontrollably, to my stomach feeling like extreme heat flowed inside of it to my chest which filled with love and my breasts which pulsed in need, to my face which coloured in exertion. I screamed out his name and collapsed breathlessly. I shuddered and whimpered as my orgasm left my body.

"You look so incredibly beautiful right now." He told me and kissed me lovingly on the mouth.

"Wait." I told him as he tried to leave. I held into his arm and bravely touched his erection through his pants. He bucked into my hand and shivered violently.

"Rukia. Don't." He said as he shook. I put my hands on either side of his pants and underwear and tried to pull them down. His hands shot to cover mine tightly.

"Make love to me Byakuya. This is the first real time I have felt like this, I want it to be complete. Completed the right way." I told him and shivered and he stared at me.

"Are you sure? There may be consequences." He told me and I pulled him forward to kiss me and wrapped my legs around him.

"Nothing bad enough could happen to make me regret making love with you. Please?" I begged him and he moaned into my throat and kissed it. He got off of the bed and my heart leapt into my throat and tears filled my eyes. Did he think I wasn't serious? Was he going to leave?

He pulled his pants down and shrugged them off of his legs. I saw that lovely firms behind and my stomach tightened in need again. He slowly turned towards me.

"I need to prepare you first, if at any time you wish you stop, please tell me. It doesn't matter, I promise I will stop." He told me and I nodded and reached for him. He hurriedly climbed on top of me and kissed me. I felt like he was pouring himself into me, intertwining us into one with our tongues. So, this is what it was supposed to feel like. I shivered when he gentle squeezed my already sensitive breasts and massaged them in circles. He took his time kissing down my body more roughly this time. I knew what he was doing, Renji had done it as well. He was leaving his mark on me, leaving a trail of love bites down my body. It made the heat in my belly flare even more. I was about to become his.

I cried out in ecstasy as he reached between my thighs again. First, he licked two of his fingers and coated them in saliva before reaching down between my legs. He watched my face carefully in lust. He wanted to see me when he entered the first finger. When he did I bucked my hips and gasped out. He kissed me barely above my vulva and plunged his finger more deeply into me. I gasped at he entered a second finger so soon!

I cried out when he touched something inside of me. It felt really, really good! His eyes widened and he nuzzled his face into my pubic hairs while he thrust his fingers inside of me again. He continued until he found some sort of method in finding the place that felt good. He climbed back on top of me and kissed me heatedly before leaning his forehead on top of mine and breathing out heavily while staring at me in passion.

"We don't have to do this now Rukia. Not unless you are perfectly sure. If I claim you now, you are mine, and only mine. It is my right to keep you only to myself, I can kill anyone who tries to take you from me. You have to listen to me and let me be protective of you and possessive of you if I want to be. Do you really know what all of this means? I won't let anyone else have you, ever! I will fight and kill to make you only mine! I will love you fully and completely, I will give you anything and everything you will ever want, for eternity! I swear I will find you in our next lives and make you mine again, even if you really are my sister in that life. You are only mine. Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked me and tears of happiness, fear, desire and many other emotions fell from my eyes.

"I am in love with you Byakuya. I think I have been for a while. Please make love to me!" I begged and kissed him. I ran my fingers into his hair and pulled his face closer to my own. He positioned himself at my entrance and looked into my eyes as he entered me I was surprised that it hurt again. My legs trembled with need and ache. I could be wrong but I believe he was larger than Renji, and definitely lengthier. I cried out when he had fully sheathed himself inside of me. He groaned out deliciously in ecstasy making my pelvis muscles clench around him in need.

"God's how long I've needed you. If I am truly honest with myself I can say that my heart had been captured by you from the moment I found you. I was just too shamed and hurt to accept it. This is right! I haven't felt this perfection ever before, you are the one I need!" He told me and kissed me passionately.

"Rukia, I haven't asked you properly until now but, will you please be my wife? It is inevitable that we marry but I need to ask now, at this moment." He told me passionately and I smiled through my tears.

"Yes. I will be happy to be your wife, Byakuya!" I cried and kissed him lovingly. He pulled out of me and thrust into me powerfully making me gasp.

"Thank you! I love you! I swear, I will live to make you happy!" He told me passionately and we cried out in pleasure as waves of pleasure coursed through our bodies as he brought us to climax. We screamed out each other's names in passion and I felt yet another orgasm, it was different from the first one, it lasted a bit longer. I felt him release warm sperm into me and I sighed tiredly and closed my eyes. He stayed inside of me for a while and ran his lips over whatever skin he could reach before stopping at my heart and kissing my chest again and again. I tiredly lifted myself slowly and ran a shaky hand through his hair. He slowly pulled out of me and kissed me gently and innocently on the lips before getting off the bed and throwing the duvet cover back over me. He climbed in beside me and we moved closer towards each other until I was securely in his arms. I gently slid my leg between his own and wrapped my arm under his own around his back, sneaking my other arm under his neck and buried my face into his bare chest. I nuzzled his chest affectionately. There was still a violent ache and throbbing between my legs.

"Goodnight, Byakuya." I said lovingly as I started falling asleep. I felt him tighten his hold on me. I could feel him playing with my hair as I fell asleep. Any worries I might have had for our actions and our future disappeared as I fell into the void of dreams.

It didn't occur to me until a while later but, slowly Byakuya became my new Byabunny.


	22. Chapter 22

RUKIA

I woke up to the feeling of a hand gently touching my body. Not sexually, or intrusively but just touching. My thigh, my waist, my stomach, my chest and my arms. It was comforting. Even his staring wasn't quiet bothering me. I felt somehow completed and fulfilled, numb and aching at the same time.

"Staring so early in the morning? I know I feel wonderful but I probably look terrible!" I said and quickly turned around, hiding my face in the pillow away from him. He laughed softly and kissed the back of my neck, then between my shoulder blades. I sighed into the pillow contently. He traced his hands over my back and continued to go lower until he teasingly squeezed my behind. I gasped at the unexpected squeeze. I turned my face to him and mock glared at him.

"What? Can't I appreciate your lovely behind? Its so soft, and warm and attractive." He said and squeezed it slowly a few times to emprise. I flushed and turned onto my back, subconsciously I covered my chest and that was something he noticed right way.

"Come now, don't be shy, at least not from me. I love your breasts, I hope you will be more comfortable around me soon." He said softly and leaned over me to kiss me on the lips. It just occurred to me that I was still completely naked. And so was he. I wanted to look him over but I was too shy to. I gulped and slowly slid my arms to my sides and looked at him. He smiled at me and slowly traced his fingers over the mounds of my breasts making me shiver and making my nipples erect and tighten. I looked down at myself and saw a lot of little purple bruises. I gasped and touched them with my fingers.

"Mine." Was all he said and he rolled over and placed one of his knees right up against my sensitive vulva. I gasped as me gently suckled my breast. I caught a glimpse of his awakening erection and watched in fascination as it slowly became firm. I briefly thought of Ichigo and a sudden guilt filled my gut. Not guilt of being with Byakuya, but guilt of breaking Ichigo's heart. I pulled myself upright by my elbows and Byakuya groaned at having my breast pulled from his reach. I saw some blood on the sheet and quickly covered it with my hand.

"What are you doing?" he asked me humorously. I smiled at him and laughed nervously.

"Nothing. We should get ready unless we want to miss the boat to Fox island." I said to try and distract him and he smiled smugly.

"You slept for quite a while, I really tired you out. The boat left over an hour ago." He said and I gasped pulling my hands to my mouth in horror. Before he could see the blood stain I quickly covered it with my leg. He smirked evilly and tried to lift if but I quickly put my hand back over it and sat on it. he burst out laughing at me and tried to get a good grip on me so that he could pick me up.

"What are you hiding?" He asked me happily. He nuzzled my neck and pulled me to his chest, rolling over. I squeaked indignantly. He looked at the blood for a while in contemplation.

"It's embarrassing! I thought I was only supposed to bleed the first time! Don't look at it please!" I begged him and pulled his arm but he looked troubled.

"Rukia, you should have told me that I was hurting you." He told me troubled and I pulled his arm playfully towards the bathroom but he didn't budge. I sighed and sat at the foot of the bed. I pathed my hair over my shoulders to somewhat hide my indecency.

"It didn't hurt that much, I barely noticed the pain." I told him but he didn't look much happier.

"I think it's because, well…" I said and reached forward gently stroking his penis.

"You are a bit different to Renji here. Maybe it's age or some sort of physical build or something but he wasn't as big as you are down there, I haven't been stretched that much before and this was only my second time." I told him gently and shivered at the cold. He looked both embarrassed and pleased.

"Well, I'm going to have a hot bath. I feel sweaty and grimy from last night. Why did you leave so many marks on me?" I asked him curiously and he smiled boyishly.

"I wanted to mark you where I loved you the most but I couldn't find a single place so I scattered them wherever I was drawn to touch." He told me and placed his mouth loosely over a mark just above my breast. A troubling thought came to me and I frowned and walked away from him to the bathroom and started running the water.

"Rukia, what's troubling you?" He asked me and I whined in the back of my throat before looking for salts or bubbles to throw in the bath for a scent.

"What will we tell people at home? When? I don't think its possible for the elders to dislike me more, but I could be wrong. And Ichigo? What do I tell him?" I asked him troubled and for a moment his eyes hardened in jealousy.

"I will talk to Kurosaki for you if you would like, the elders and the rest of the family can not control me in any way, nor do they have the right to judge us. Work might be stressful for a little while, but all of these complications are why we should marry as soon as possible once we are back home. I want you beside me every night and I don't want to keep my hands to myself anymore. I detest public affection but I don't think I could resist towards you. It will be fine, you don't need to worry." He said and massaged my shoulders behind me, pressing our bodies together intimately. He wasn't quiet so erect anymore but I could still feel it.

"We should talk to Ichigo together. The situation is delicate and I don't want to lose him. I don't think you will be sensitive or kind towards him so I have to talk to him, but I would feel braver if you were with me. I remember what you said last night but, please, whatever he does…don't try to kill him." I asked him and he narrowed his eyes at the basin.

"Alright, but I don't want him to touch you. Not at all." He told me and squeezed my arm.

"Byakuya, he might need some comfort, I can't just stay away from him." I told him and he looked at me with a bit of resentment.

"Yes, you can, and you should, at least until we are sure that any romantic feelings he has towards you are gone." He told me and I glared at him.

"I am the one hurting him, the least I can do is comfort him! If I chose someone over you I wouldn't leave you, I would still try to comfort you! He is so young and humans grow up with affection all the time! He just died, how will he feel if I basically take away the only comfort and friend he has left? Especially since we are going to divide ourselves from the humans." I said angrily and walked back into our bedroom to get clean underwear. When I came back he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm jealous. Even now, Kurosaki is a better friend to you that I am." He told he and I looked up at him sadly.

"You don't need to be jealous. I love you both so much, but in different ways. I don't know how I think of him. Perhaps its student love or sibling love? I taught him from the start and I try to guide him when I can. I am so proud when he accomplishes something. Its like watching a younger sibling growing up. The two of you could be friends too if you tried. Maybe if he had a closer male friend he wouldn't depend on me so much anymore?" I suggested and he hummed in thought.

"I will think about it. its difficult for me because we have to work together. And knowing he cares about you so much makes me…scared that I won't always be enough for you. You might be freer and more open with him and you might crave that after some time with me. The clan is becoming restless and my position is becoming more and more stressful, I need to do many more unspeakable acts, and I only hope you will understand and won't judge me, and forgive me if I make a terribly wrong decision." He said and hugged me tightly.

"I love you. As long as you love me, I will stay with you no matter what happens. I just hope you will be willing to lean on me for support and let me fight by your side. I will need protection sometimes when I can't defend myself, but apart from then I can fight, I want to fight. Byakuya, I have shared more of my secrets and myself with you than I have with anyone. I don't want anybody else. You can be everything I need, but that doesn't mean we should shun the company of the people around us." I told him and he grumpily agreed with me.

We got into the bath together and I washed my hair and my body while he watched me and cleaned himself.

"Uh, look away! I want to clean between my legs." I told him in embarrassment and he smiled sneakily.

"Can I help you?" He asked me seductively and stoked between the lips of my vulva making my legs tremble. A sudden thought came to me and I gasped in horror. It was his birthday! I had completely forgot! I swat his hand away and lunged at him, hugging him around the neck.

"Byakuya! Happy Birthday!" I told him and kissed him forcefully. He groaned into my kiss and parted my legs around his own so that I straddled him.

"I forgot myself, but this has definitely been the best birthday of my life." He said softly and held my cheeks in his hands. He kissed me gently and I mischievously found his penis in the water and started stroking it to life. He gasped out and groaned loudly.

"I am going to need to cast permanent sound proof barriers over our house so that no one will hear us when we make love. You know I was thinking, we should tell everyone about our relationship from the moment we return and start planning the wedding. We could get married on valentine's day. It is definitely a good omen." He told me and I smiled. I knew it was actually only a perfect excuse, but he made a good point.

"We can do that. But Orihime is having her baby soon as well, we should do it before she has the baby because they won't be able to leave the world of the living once the baby is born! Oh, no that means that Ichigo won't be able to be my best man! But he has to come! What if he destroys my wedding again…" I trailed off excitedly and he smiled happily.

"I'm glad you are starting to become excited, I was worried that your love for me was weening already. Want to talk about what we are going to do for the wedding? The water is still warm and I am too comfortable here with you to get out the tub." He told me and wrapped his arms around me. I smiled and lay against his chest. He groaned at the skin to skin contact but didn't complain once about his erection.

"We can do that later and tomorrow, I know you must be uncomfortable right now with this." I pressed my stomach against his erection and he shivered.

"It is alright, really. Making love is for the purpose of creating children, we can wait until we are married. Last night was special to us." He told me and I frowned.

"Its called making love because you want to show your other half how much you love them completely, if you only plan to use me as an incubator, we will have issues." I scoffed at him playfully and his eyes widened.

"That's not what I meant! I love you, you know that." He told me and tried to kiss my shoulder but I sat up and got out of the tub drying myself.

"I don't know, having a lover who won't love me doesn't feel very convincing." I told him and walked out of the bathroom, leaving him panicked and shocked in the tub. I heard him get out the tub and dry himself. I finished drying myself and sat on the bed with my towel wrapped around me. He walked to me and kissed me fiercely. He gently tugged the towel out of my grasp and let it fall around me. I moved up the bed so that he would climb up to get me.

"You are always allowed to make love to me, Byakuya. Unless I am angry with you or you decide you don't love me anymore." I told him and touched his face lovingly. He kissed my hand and whispered an apology.

"Thank you Rukia, but there is a reason long lived souls like us don't copulate except for the need of children. How over populated would our world be otherwise?" He asked me jokingly. I moaned as I bucked myself upwards onto his erection.

"From where I am standing, the main house is in desperate need of populating, unless you are comfortable sitting with a single child to depend on? The Soul Society has rules, laws and customs for good reason, but I don't want that to define our relationship. Let's love each other for as long as we love each other, or until we are old and wrinkly and unattractive." I teased him and he grinned.

"We will never be unattractive, we both have remarkable genes. I would be glad to love you whenever I need you if you are willing, but in our noble standing be have certain images to uphold." He told me and I frowned in sadness. He gently lifted my chin to face him.

"I only mean that we are going to have to ask the fourth division for some type of contraception. We need children in our family, desperately, but we aren't ready just yet. I understand if you would want one child now, but after that child is born we should wait a few centuries before trying to have another. I whole heartedly agree with you on the concept of making love because I will need you, always. I'm just worried for your health and our future." He told me and leaned his forehead to mine.

"Its alright. I will let you know if I really need to take a break, and I agree with you on the matter of children, only I think it would be better to raise two together so that they grow up always having someone to lean on. You know, someone to trust and play with who is closer to their age." I said and he frowned.

"We age very slowly compared to humans, I myself grew up quickly into the form of an adult because it was required of me but as new parents we should have only one first to get used to the concept of being parents and learn how to care for our child first. A few centuries will go by and our first might still be a toddler, we don't need to rush." He said gently and smiled as he stroked my cheek.

"I can't get pregnant from a gigai can I?" I asked him and he looked shocked.

"It is possible…but probably not, even if you did it wouldn't matter too much to us." He told me gently and brushed his thumb over my nipple. My body had been quickly trained to his touch. We made love twice that morning and we only cleaned ourselves up to head to the dining room for food.

"Can't we spend the day at the bird sanctuary tomorrow? I know you are the most beautiful bird ever, but I want to see them. I never took interest in birds before really until I saw you." I told him shyly and his ears tinged pink.

"We can if that is what you want, but im not really a bird, Rukia, it was only a form I can take. Though I warn you, I do not know how they may react towards me. Perhaps they won't know any better, or perhaps they will be fearful or eager to inspect me. They could attack us! You may laugh now, but wait until all manor of birds start flying overhead with their droppings!" He told me jokingly as I laughed out loud at one of the dining room tables. He smiled and kissed my hand.

"Be glad we didn't go to the Fox island. I'm sure they feed them with the rabbits from Rabbit island." He told me humourlessly and I gasped in horror. No way! I mean it made sense, but no way! I looked at my chicken salad sadly and played with my tomatoes. I lost my appetite.

"Rukia, aren't you going to eat? I know this food isn't nearly as good as our own but you must eat something." He told me sternly. I called a waiter over and asked him to bring me a large strawberry milkshake and told him I no longer wanted my salad, he smiled at me charmingly.

"You are a one of a kind girl! Women usually eat the rabbit food like this and steer clear of fatty foods, but I like girls like you who aren't ashamed to have a good shake!" He said and smiled before turning to the direction of the kitchens. I couldn't help but smile brightly at his compliment. Byakuya saw my smile and glared in the boy's direction before narrowing his eyes at me.

"What did that human mean? And how shameless of him to flirt with you when I am right here!" He said angrily. I laughed out merrily only making him sourer.

"What he meant is that woman in this world are too superficial and care more about what they look like than what genuinely makes them happy in life. He complimented me because I sent back the salad and ordered a milkshake, its high is carbs and isn't something someone who wants to maintain a figure for society would usually order." I told him and he considered my words. He looked less grumpy but still moody.

The waiter came back with my shake and I smiled widely, not at him but at the shake. He laughed boyishly when I eagerly took a large sip through the straw. I sighed contently. The waiter left and Byakuya got sulkier.

"And what's with you?" I asked him curiously. He glared at me heatedly.

"I don't like you giving smiles to strange boys." He grumbled and darted his eyes away. I burst out laughing and held the table for support. His face lit up and he glared at me from the corner of his eye.

"I was smiling at the milkshake! Do you know how long I have gone without one? I love ice-cream and milkshakes! I usually don't get to eat anything when we do come to the world of the living so having one now is almost priceless. Here have some?" I pushed my glass towards him but he sulkily pushed it back. I took a long sip and made sure my tough was cold and tasted of it before I walked over to him and kissed him. He didn't like public affection but he kissed me back and I slipped my tongue into his mouth. When I needed air, I pulled away and resumed my seat.

"So, what did you think of the brief taste of milkshake, Mr. Grumpy?" I asked playfully and he glared at me before smirking and stealing my glass.

"It was nice, delicious, and since you like it so much I will drink it and you will kiss me to taste it, it's a win-win situation." He joked and purposefully took an agonisingly long gulp of it. I gasped and glared at him.

"I hope you get fat!" I hissed when he finally gave it back to me. He burst out laughing and I couldn't help laughing as well.

BYAKUYA

We enjoyed our time together throughout the day. Many things between us changed rapidly. We started needing physical contact with each other more desperately and I needed her body more than I needed air. Just to touch her or kiss her made everything alright. I tried to preoccupy her for the majority of the trip to make her forget about the upcoming announcement. I decided that we should first tell Kurosaki for Rukia's sake because we needed the support, then I would announce our engagement at the captain's meeting and we would both be prepared to answer any questions thrown at us. Lastly, we would call the elders for a meeting and announce our upcoming wedding. Some should be happy, they wanted me to marry and now I am. Others would think that I am shaming the family once more.

Today we were to be heading home. We hadn't made love again since my birthday, I knew she would insist that she was fine, but she needed some time to recover properly. I myself was surprised that things had progressed so quickly and so smoothly, but as they say, the best things in life you fight to hold onto. The struggle would be keeping her happy in years to come.

We agreed to not have sexual relations with each other again until we are married because it would be harder to hide our actions at home. We were loud. A pleasant tingle ran down my spine towards my groin, the sounds she made! I looked forward to raising a family with her. We would try to rebuild the main family. In our life time I expect at least three children from her and when our eldest has their first child I will begin training them to become the next head of the family in my stead, of course that depends on their capabilities, if I believe one of my other children would be better suited I will train them.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Rukia declared us ready and packed. Ready? We have to be I suppose. I sighed and was about to open the Senkaimon when she slapped my behind playfully. I smiled and glanced down at her.

"Rukia, invite Kurosaki and his sister for dinner with us tonight. We can explain our new relationship to them at the same time. They are our lieutenants, it is most important that they understand and support our union." I told her and she smiled brightly at me and hugged my waist.

"That's a great idea!" She beamed at me and I smiled at my diplomatic strategy. If the boy's sister was there as well, he would be forced to behave and I had a feeling that the sister would support whatever Rukia decided as she looks up to her as most lieutenants do towards their captains.

We headed home and took a while to place our dirty clothing in our washing hampers sort through our belongings. I knew Rukia was still tired and probably wanted to relax but she dutifully flash stepped to her office to find her lieutenant. I honestly believed that I would never fully trust Kurosaki alone with Rukia because he had a way with her, and could easily manipulate her feelings, but I would let her remain as free as she can be and watch her from a safe distance.

Rukia came around only an hour before dinner was to start and knocked on my door.

"Rukia, are you ready? Are you feeling alright?" I asked her cautiously and she tried to catch her breath.

"Uh, yes I am fine. You should know that captain Hitsugaya will also be joining us tonight. He was in my office flirting with my lieutenant and I couldn't quiet not invite him when he refused to leave without a date from Karin. I told him he could have it but only if her doesn't ask again at the office and has it here tonight with us. I wanted to keep an eye on them because Karin is still so young, and it would benefit us to have a captain already accepting of our relationship when we announce it officially tomorrow." She told me hurriedly and walked into my room looking for my jug of water.

"I agree, though I wasn't expecting him, it may turn out for the best. Unless he opposes it." I said slightly warily. She looked nervous but I smiled at her and stroked her cheek with my thumb.

"It will probably be fine. Go get ready, I will meet you at the front entrance to welcome our guests." I told her and gently ushered her to her room. She closed her door and started running around. I felt like sitting inside her room and watching her because I needed something to lift my spirits, only I feared more than my spirits being lifted.

We stood at the front entrance of the compound, thankfully the three of them arrived at the same time, I feared having to wait outside for our other guests as she brought Kurosaki inside. I didn't quiet hate him anymore, my feeling towards him were more or less neutral now, except for the small fear that he may try something improper with her.

We sat down and starters were presented to us. Kurosaki almost drank the cleaning bowl water and was only just stopped when Rukia warned him by sticking her hands in her own. I lifted my fan over my face as tears pricked at my eyes, even after I dropped the fan my eyebrow visibly twitched and my lips kept twinging upward much to everyone's amusement. Rukia laughed at me and I looked away letting a smile cross my face. As expected Kurosaki and captain Hitsugaya were shocked and frightened.

"Hey! If this is how you act whenever Byakuya shows happiness you are going to give him a complex! Look at him, he is adorable!" She said and waved to me. My eyes widened and my cheeks heated up.

"Very cute!" Agreed Karin to captain Hitsugaya's chagrin. I closed my eyes and collected myself. We spoke about work, the differences between the world of the living and when dinner finally came we talked about my family and our home's grandness. I didn't bother hiding my sadness when I told them some of our heritage and about some of my ancestors' achievements.

They all seemed truly interested and respectful at the least and when dinner was finished and desert was being served I looked to Rukia and steeled myself for making the announcement. The table was really starting to look comfortable in my company.

"Captain Kuchiki, I have quite enjoyed your and Rukia's company this evening, the food was also delicious! I hope you will invite us again in the near future." Said captain Hitsugaya happily. I smiled and nodded. I felt sweat start to run down my neck, it's now of never. I cleared my throat nervously.

"I think that would be acceptable. Actually, Rukia and I have an announcement and we wanted the people at this table to be the first to know." I said clearly and tried to school my expression back into my mask. They all looked at me, except for Kurosaki who smiled at Rukia.

"Rukia and I have become closer over the last few months, and we decided that we love each other dearly. We are getting married in barely a fortnight, we hope you will accept our decision and support our choice." I said firmly but softly. My eyes found Rukia's and she smiled at me. I felt my mask fall away as I cracked an unsure smile.

"As long as you are happy, Rukia. Honestly, I saw this coming so I have been preparing myself. It still hurts, and it will hurt for a long time, but as long as you smile and you are happy that's what matters most to me. Knowing you are happy and loved makes the hurt go away a little. And hopefully this guy will be nicer to me now, I'm telling you the nightmares I've had about paperwork!" Exclaimed Kurosaki painfully. I flinched slightly. I could relate. At least he didn't have an outburst like I had anticipated.

"But Rukia, aren't the two of you, you know, family? Wouldn't it be weird?" Karin asked her softly and embarrassedly.

"Well you see, its complicated and you should know that Byakuya and I are not related by blood, I was adopted by him into the family after his first wife died." Rukia told her gently. I knew she wanted to avoid all mentions of Hisana if possible but I felt the need to clarify.

"My first wife, who I believed to be Rukia's older sister was actually her birth mother as they were brought to the Soul Society when Rukia was but a baby. I did love her dearly, and I honoured her memory. You see I loved Hisana and I married her believing she would grow to love me, but it was never so and she never developed feelings beyond companionship towards me. Rukia and I however have a mutual love towards one another and we have decided to start a life together as husband and wife. I can't begin to explain how much I adore her and always will." I told them and glanced at Kurosaki who was hanging onto my every word.

"You better. If you ever hurt her or treat her poorly I'm going to kill you." He told me and everyone besides me laughed because while it would be humorous under other circumstances, the look in his eyes warned me that he was telling the truth. I nodded at him slowly and inconspicuously, accepting the ultimatum. I would love her and make her happy, if I couldn't then I deserved to die anyway, it may as well be at his hand. I smiled wistfully and held my hand out t him. He clapped it against his own and we shared a rare friendly smile.

"Look at this, they are becoming friends already!" Kurosaki's sister said nudging a still rather shocked captain Hitsugaya. Who cleared his throat and bowed towards Rukia and I.

"Congratulations to the both of you! I hope you will both be happy for the many years to come! I do not envy your situation, but you have my support, and I will aid you if you ever require assistance for whatever disputes may occur." He said wisely. I nodded towards him and accepted the other congratulations along with Rukia. After desert captain Hitsugaya took lieutenant Karin home and Kurosaki Ichigo stayed behind to talk to us.

"Is this really okay though? I know you have had some problems being accepted into the family already, what if they try to do something? I'm just worried about you, you know? Are you safe?" I heard him ask her and after a moment of silence I entered the room.

"She will always be safe in my care, you have my word. However, if you choose to protect her as well that it entirely up to you. There have been uprisings lately and I have taken care of them, as I will any in the future. They just need time to adapt. If they betray me or the family however, they will receive whatever punishment is befitting of their crimes." I told him seriously and placed a hand on my zanpakuto.

"Seriously?! You would kill them? Just for that?" He asked me appalled and disbelievingly. I nodded and narrowed my eyes at him.

"You are young and new to this world but let me tell you this once, and listen carefully because it is important. The four great noble clans exist for gravely important purpose's. Killing is sometimes the best course of action to eliminate threat and instil obedience. I may be young but I understand the depths of my duties well. If they try to overthrow me, they must die. If they are not loyal to me, they must die, if they betray the law or our families most sacred holdings, they must die. This world is not like the world of the living, this world exists to maintain balance and weed out impure souls. I will never kill an innocent if I can help it but no matter who it is, if someone tries to harm something dear to me, I will eliminate it swiftly. You are my right hand, and will carry out my orders even if they seem unjust in your eyes, but know that I won't make you take a life unless it was obligatory. Something else you must understand as everyone else in the Seireitei does, noble clan business is only our business, no one has the authority to judge me in this world, I will only be judged when I pass on." I told him and he looked deep in thought. What I had told him goes against human ways but he would have to accept it.

"Aw, damnit I've got a headache now! But I get it, okay? Now I have to go to bed with a killer headache, as if the paperwork wasn't enough of a brain killer!" He complained and wished Rukia goodnight. I watched him thoughtfully.

"Kurosaki, take tomorrow off. I have meetings all day tomorrow anyway so you may as well rest as well." I told him and walked away. He stopped and gaped at me before grinning.

"Hey Byakuya, you can be a really cool guy you know?" He said and I grinned cunningly back at him.

"Indeed, your paperwork isn't going anywhere, and more will most likely be waiting for you once you return. Enjoy your day off." I said and closed the door behind myself. I felt smug after hearing his shrill cry of disbelief. I sighed and walked Rukia to her room before wishing her goodnight.

As I prepared myself for bed I tried to prepare myself for the hostility that awaited me the next day.


	23. Chapter 23

RUKIA

I dressed formally in my soul reaper clothing and wore my haori and heirloom scarf. I had, had my wedding ring and friendship ring melded together as Ichigo had done to his. These rings now symbolised the eternal friendship between myself and Renji and Ichigo and I would never take them off.

Once I felt confident enough I walked down to the dining room where Byakuya waited for me. He was writing a reply letter at the dining table which was absurd as he never mixed work with private matters such as meals. He looked up at me and smiled.

"You look lovely this morning. Did you sleep well?" He asked me and he folded his letter and handed it to a servant who bowed and quickly ran off.

"I suppose I did. It was a bit cold and Byabunny couldn't get me to sleep until at least half an hour had passed by." I said sheepishly and he smiled knowingly.

"Yes, I too could have slept better." He told me with a wink. I smiled at him and started eating my breakfast.

"I just had a summons from the elders, they wanted to see me immediately but I pushed the meeting until twelve as out captains' meeting is at ten. I have also sent for the wedding planners and have ordered invitations. You needed worry about them as you will be busy enough with wedding planning but you may come to my room at night and write a few to special friends you may want to invite." He said thoughtfully and I smiled at him. When he wasn't expecting it, I quickly leaned forward and pecked his cheek affectionately.

He had already finished eating but he held my hand while I finished my bowel of fruit and porridge. We left home together and he accompanied we to my office as he didn't feel like going to his own today. He helped Karin and I sort through our paperwork and we got it all done much more quickly than usual. By the time we were ready to go Karin had already left the office for her lieutenants' meeting. I had asked her to drag Ichigo with her and break the news to them all for us.

We were among the last few captains to enter the meeting hall and Toshiro nodded friendly to us as we entered. I smiled at him and waved back as I took my position. The meeting was boring as usual, thankfully. Nothing alarming or earthshattering happened while we were away but at the end of the meeting captain general Shunsui addressed Byakuya.

"Captain Lord Kuchiki, we would lastly like to address your family's affairs. It seems that in the past few months captain Isane has been called to your compound under dire circumstances, is there something pressing going on that we should know about? I won't address the matters I am speaking of, but it is important to all of us that your clan remains peaceful." He told Byakuya and the other captains looked at him questioningly. I bit my lip and looked at him. He caught my eye and tried to reassure me.

"There have been a few disputes, an uprising and betrayals. All have been dealt with as my ancestors before me have deemed necessary. I do however suspect more trouble in the near future as there will be a few major changes around the hierarchy of the clan." He said calmly and emotionlessly. I could see the hesitance in his eyes to proceed with his announcement so I bit my cheek and spoke quickly.

"We're getting married!" I squeaked and looked to Byakuya who looked startled at my outburst. My cheeks heated and I quickly covered them with my sleeves shyly.

"To your own sister?! You sly basterd!" Shouted captain Zaraki from beside me making me cringe away from him at his manic laughter.

"They are not related you dimwit! Their marriage seems quite convenient anyway as they both live under the same roof and have both lost their spouses." Said captain Kurotsuchi, as if we were two pandas being put together out of convince and necessity other than love and affection. My embarrassment fell away to sadness after hearing more of the captain's banter.

"Bya-bo, don't you think you are being too hasty? I know Rukia looks a lot like Hisana, but she will never be her. I know you are hurting, but this is a phase that will pass. She may not be your sister by blood but that is how we and the rest of society will see it. Incest is a taboo as it is, marring your wife's younger sister because of her appearance is even worse on top of that." Said captain general Shunsui and many arguments broke out in the hall. Toshiro, Isane, captain Kurotsuchi, and surprisingly captain Soifon and captain Yadomaru argued towards our union being a good thing.

Captain Shinji, captain Otoribashi, captain Kensei, captain Zaraki and captain Iba were against it because like the captain general who was trying to persuade Byakuya that he was being irresponsible, they believed in the old ways of soul reaper customs and believed Byakuya was tarnishing the Kuchiki name. That, and they supported my relationship with Ichigo above my relationship with Renji as well.

"Captain Lady Kuchiki, it has barely been a half a year since Renji Abarai passed away, how could you dishonour his memory like this? And to marry your own brother? Renji was my friend, and he deserved better than this." Captain Iba said coldly to me before walking away. That's right. Renji has barely been gone a half year and I am moving on. What does that say about me? My heart shattered and I tugged my sleeves in my hands and bit my lip to hold back my tears. I was a Kuchiki! I couldn't cry in public. I wouldn't shame Byakuya that way!

A loud crack resounded in the room and arms wrapped around me hiding my face. I could feel his spiritual pressure flaring out is uncontrolled rage.

"I'm fine, it's nothing Byakuya." I told him and looked down. I swallowed a dry lump in my throat and lifted my head to see what happened. Captain Iba lay on the floor motionless as captain Isane bent over him to heal him. I gasped in shock and looked up at Byakuya. He tilted my head up and kissed me gently on the lips.

"We weren't opening debate, we were informing you of our decision. Many things have happened these past months that drew us closer together and we no longer wish for anything to separate us. I do not love Hisana anymore, and she never loved me. My feeling for Rukia are solely for her and not for any ghost of the past. Abarai was her dear friend who she had attempted to love but couldn't. We do truly love one another and intend to live together as life partners." He said and looked into my eyes affectionately then we heard a groan and turned our heads towards where captain Iba sat up on the floor. Byakuya narrowed his eyes at him in distaste.

"Captain you may be, but you would do well to remember who the two of us are, filth. We are far above you is status and superiority. Ever speak to her in such a way again, and I will make you bit off your tongue. I will not stand insult to the one I hold most dear." He said coldly. It was towards everyone but he looked intently toward captain Iba who looked ashamed of his prior words.

"Well, then congratulations I guess. Byakuya, I wish to speak with you privately for a moment. Not as your commander, but as your friend and elder." Captain general Shunsui asked Byakuya and he stiffened and contemplated his words. He knew much about our family already, its wouldn't hurt to have him support us through these difficult times.

"Very well. Accompany me home, we may speak freely in my study." Byakuya told him and rubbed my back soothingly. I still felt wounded and I peeked out at the faces of the other captains. They either held disapproval or smiled in support. And next would be the family. My whole body filled with dread. I gulped as Byakuya took my hand and we walked out of the captain's meeting.

"Hey Rukia! How did it go? What happened are you okay?" Ichigo asked me in concern. I sniffed and bit my cheek and nodded like a doll.

"Byakuya, what happened in there?" He asked Byakuya and he let go of my hand hesitantly as Ichigo hugged me.

"A few captains strongly disapprove of our upcoming union. One of them said something unnecessarily hurtful to Rukia. It seems the vizards disagree because they know how much you care for Rukia, and captain Iba voiced his dislike of Rukia quiet openly. They aren't privy to personal matters of ours as you are, and it is none of their business either. They can think what they want, they will accept it in time." He told Ichigo and I pulled out of Ichigo's embrace. He was almost radiating murderous intent.

"Son of a bitch, I'll kill him!" Ichigo said and stormed past me towards the captain's hall. Byakuya pulled his robes and stopped him.

"I appreciate your devotion to Rukia's wellbeing, but I would like for you to take her home for me and make sure she is comfortable. I have an unscheduled meeting with the captain general now and a meeting with the elders not too long afterwards." He asked Ichigo and I glared at him.

"It's Ichigo's day off, and I can go home by myself thank you very much." I snapped and he looked a little startled at my words. Perhaps I was taking out my guilt on him.

"Hey Rukia, the other lieutenants want to congratulate you so its best I take you home if you want to avoid them. It's that or I go in there and start breaking those captains' bones. I don't care if I break some kind of law, as long as they pay for hurting you like that." He told me and I cringed.

"Fine, whatever. If you do anything stupid I'll kick your butt myself, hell will look like a walk in the park when I'm done with you." I told him and he gulped.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you Byakuya, its just that something captain Iba said…" I trailed off and he smiled sadly at me.

"It's alright, we can talk about it later. I'm sure we will both need support by the time the day is through." He said with dread and I felt like I was going to crumble into pieces. After everything I told Byakuya when we were together, I couldn't try to back away now! Especially after we slept together! Byakuya flash stepped away and left us standing in the hall outside the meeting hall. The doors opened and some of the captains walked out. Captain Iba stared at me for a while and turned away to leave.

"Hey basterd! Isn't there something you want to say to her?!" Ichigo yelled at him and he stopped in his step. The vizards walked up to Ichigo ready to subdue him or something because his spiritual pressure skyrocketed.

"Kurosaki. I am not blind or ungrateful for everything you have done for the Soul Society but you've seriously got to learn your place. What I said to her was hurtful, but not untrue." He said and continued walking away until Ichigo disappeared from my side and punched him in the face. Sure, we all saw it coming but we were still shocked to see it happen.

"You call yourself Renji's friend and then you hurt Rukia?! You're a piece of shit friend if you don't get that he just wanted her to be happy! She loved him but not the way he wanted her too and he knew that, the same as me! You no god damn right to think you know what's best for any of them!" He yelled and his voice started charging more into that of a hollow. I gasped and ran to his side and took his face in my hands.

"It's okay, Ichigo! Thank you for defending me but it doesn't matter okay? Come on, Byakuya told you to go home with me, lets go, come on!?" I said as I pulled his robes toward the exit but he didn't move. Iba did however and because I was trying to get Ichigo to come with me, his fist intended for Ichigo hit me instead, it was thankfully only on the arm, but I cried out in pain anyways.

Before I knew it there was a full out brawl between the captains who remained behind to watch the spat and intervene if it got out of hand. The vizards were trying to subdue Ichigo and Iba was trying to hurt him and then captain Zaraki came forward and slashed Iba from behind with his zanpakuto. By this time Ichigo was becoming desperate and frustrated and began transforming into a hollow to overpower the people holding him back, and started trying to attack them as well.

Ichigo yelled in rage and the hole in his chest burst open and he shrieked like a hollow. He was one. If I didn't do something fast he could kill everyone! Or worse, they could kill him because he was a hollow and justify it! Tears ran down my cheeks and without thinking I ran in front of Ichigo and hugged him tightly. I was absolutely terrified but I didn't get go. I looked right into his frightening yellow demons' eyes.

He was calming considerably until Iba ran at us with his zanpakuto. He obviously meant to harm Ichigo, not me but Ichigo didn't think so and squeezed me to his chest as formed a cero between his horns. Nothing good would come from this. With as much effort as I could muster I drew my zanpakuto only enough to use my ice abilities. I froze his head and disrupted his cero. I drew my sword and smashed open his mask and pulled it off of his face as quickly as I could.

"You're okay, it's okay. Everything is fine!" I told him comfortingly but he just collapsed on top of me. I shrieked as him weight fell over me.

"I can't breathe! Someone help! Get him off of me!" I rasped and captain Shinji quickly came to my aid.

"That's amazing! He didn't even fight you, he just let you hurt him like it was nothing." He muttered and I panted in relief.

"Don't be an idiot. He knows I would never hurt him, I love him too much. Who would hurt their best friend?" I said and groaned in pain as I sat up. Thankfully my scarf was untouched, but I had claw marks shredded through my clothes. Shinji stared at me in consideration for a moment but all I did was sling Ichigo's arm over my shoulder and drag him towards the roofs. I would have to carry him home. On my way out, I caught the eye of Iba. I glared at him.

"Don't think I didn't sense your intent to kill basterd. I will shatter you into a billion pieces before I let you lay a finger on his head!" I growled out and captain Zaraki restrained him with him hand as I pulled Ichigo with me towards my room.

He would just have to rest there for today. All of this on his day off as well. I had to hurry and change before I became late for the meeting with the elders.

BYAKUYA

I sat down in my office chair and sighed in frustration. I didn't feel Rukia or Kurosaki's spiritual pressure yet so they were probably talking. Hopefully only talking. A servant knocked at my door and announced the arrival of captain general Shunsui. I let him in and took my seat again.

"What can I help you with, Shunsui-sensei?" I asked in familiarity. He sighed and removed his straw hat from his head.

"I just want to know what's going on in your mind. I'm not making any judgements, I just want to know how you see things." He said gently and I suddenly had the uncomfortable feeling of being a child having to explain my reasoning's behind poor behaviour to an adult. To him that is probably how he see's me. A confused child. I couldn't be angry with him because he wasn't being unreasonable, after all I had made a mistake with Hisana had I not. I sighed tiredly and lay my chin on the desk like a sulky child.

"There are many things you don't know about, sensei. Hisana begged me to find her baby sister on her death bed, and I did. Did you know that she lied to me? Everything from her background in the world of the living right down to Rukia. Rukia is actually her daughter. And, since the last Obon festival, Hisana is damned in hell." I told him sadly and he looked at me in complete shock. And pity. Or was it sympathy? It was rare to truly surprise him, and rarer still for him to show any kind of affection or empathy towards anyone other than, Juushiro, Nanao and Lisa. I was one of the few acceptations sometimes.

"I'm sorry to here that, Byakuya. Do you know why she was damned? Did she tell you a truth?" He asked me and a shiver of sorrow travelled down my spine.

"No. She never once told me a single truth, except for the fact that in her own mind she believed she loved Rukia. I have been trying since she passed to reach out to her soul and she never answered me. I met Abarai and grandfather this last festival. Abarai wished Rukia and I well and hoped that we would find love again. Grandfather said that although I am young and I have done things strangely that he supports all of my decisions including adopting Rukia. It was Rukia who saw Hisana that night and unravelled the truth for us both." I told him sadly and took my time ordering my thoughts.

"Hisana was a princess in the world of the living, a concubine to the emperor. She took her own life when she was about to give birth to Rukia. There were complications with the birth and she found out that her baby was female, she feared her fate befalling her daughter and decided to end their lives. She was also responsible for much suffering during her life here in the Soul Society, including my own. I was simply a way for her to find Rukia. A part of me will always love her because she was my first love, and if it weren't for her I might not have found Rukia." I told him and he looked at me in understanding.

"I know you think I am being hasty and that I am transferring my feelings for Hisana to her daughter, but I am not. Nor are we using each other for comfort because of our losses. You must know that I have always cared for her. We have never seen each other as siblings, not really. From the accident months past we had become fast friends and close family. I don't know when I started falling in love with her, perhaps I always was. I stayed away from her for many reasons after I adopted her, but it is no longer her resemblance to her mother or my promise to protect her that makes me love her. I love all of her as the person she is. I can't imagine a life without her, or with her choosing someone else, its too painful. The only peace in my mind in these troubled days, is knowing that she does truly love me in return. I wouldn't have asked her to marry me if I was unsure of her feelings. Sensei, I need an heir. I am young and people try to take advantage of me all the time, I could die and leave my entire lineage forsaken. You know better than anyone why the main family is so special. The elders have been pressuring me to remarry. They even tried to usurp power and overthrow me! That was the first time I was forced to take the life of family, even if we weren't closely related, it still hurts! And then his pregnant wife tried to manipulate me into marrying her and taking her child as heir! She tried to kill Rukia! I punished her according to her crimes, and saved her child's life, may be grow up un defiled and tainted by the darkness of the elder's minds." I said sorrowfully and hid my face in my hand.

"It is not the first time that I have wished that Lord Ginrei had remained with us a while longer. You are so young, too young to shoulder these burdens without them scarring your soul. I know it doesn't help you much, but I am also proud of you, you know. You have grown up before my eyes into a strong, reliable, responsible young leader. I too believe you have made difficult decisions, but for the right reasons. I can understand your feelings and I wish you well. I can support your decision, but the rest of the Seireitei and the clan will judge you both harshly, perhaps it will be more than either of you can take." He said sympathetically. I looked up sadly and sighed in exhaustion.

"Thank you, sensei. I hate to be rude, but I must leave now. I have an…announcement to make to them. I would prefer you not see me spill blood, as I am sure it will come to that. Once the rotten minds and hearts are gone, the good ones can grow and prosper and I can be surer that raising a family will not be as dangerous. I can forgive grandfather for what he did to me only because I know it hurt him more. It was necessary. I could never kill a child born from the love Rukia and I share. She would never forgive me and I would never forgive myself." I told him and stood up silently.

After seeing the captain general off, I walked back towards our rooms to see if Rukia was ready for the meeting. Before I made it however, she came running down the hallway and almost into me. She had changed her clothing attire, I suppose she didn't need to go back to work until after our honeymoon, but it would have been better for her to wear her captains' uniform to a meeting of great importance, at least she wore the scarf.

"You look lovely in pink, Rukia, but why did you change? It would have been more appropriate to wear your captains' uniform as a symbolism of strength." I told her and she thinned her lips and turned back towards her room.

"I have a spare haori, I can wear over my kimono, but it will take too long to change again." She said tiredly and I pulled her back and led her towards the assembly hall.

"No, I suppose it doesn't matter. I apologise in advance for anything unpleasant that may occur. I know its difficult, but don't let their words hurt you." I told her gently and let go of her hand to open the doors for us. She looked very shaky for some reason. Did something else happen on the way home? Was is Kurosaki?

"My lord Kuchiki! We have urgent matters to discuss with you about the survival of the clan. We ask that you at least listen to what we have to say before refusing our ideas." One of them said and I nodded but lifted my hand.

"I have been listening to you all for quiet a long time, and I am finally ready to marry again and hopefully produce a successor." I told them and many smiled happily for my sake or in triumph at succeeding at force me to marry.

"We are very please to hear this my lord, we have seen you in mourning for too long over the last decades." Another elder said and looked at me happily.

"We have carefully considered a new list more suited to your own liking, some women are from the Kuchiki clan, and others from the other three great noble houses." Said another in what I assume was meant to be consideration. I listened to them all as they spoke and closed my eyes, waiting for them to be silent. When eventually they asked what I thought of their ideas I stood up and walked to the centre of the room, leaving Rukia at my back.

"Actually, I have already chosen my future life partner and intend to marry on the fourteenth of February, in little over a week's time. I would like to advise you before hand though, to think out your actions and words before speaking carelessly and acting recklessly. Carefully consider what I am about to tell you. I am going to be marrying Rukia Kuchiki, and no other." I said clearly and watched their expressions. As I had requested, some were throwing my decision around in their minds trying to for an acceptance, while others were either shocked thoughtless, or immediately appalled and enraged.

"Forgive me, Lord Kuchiki, but you may not marry her! Of all the women in the world, she isn't even an option! She isn't even noble by birth! She is not a pure soul as we are, do you understand the dangers you are pulling the family in by trying to marry a human soul?! And the shame! She may not be your blood, she isn't even a Kuchiki! But society has come to accept her as your sibling and younger sister to you late wife Hisana! Do you care so little about the many lives that depend upon you?" He asked with anguish and fury.

"What you say is true, cousin, but I can see some sense in his decision, she will at least be joining our family in a more traditional sense. Not many view them as siblings, many see the girl as our lord's ward. Many more still do not know of the relation between her and our lords last wife. We desperately need an heir to the clan, we can just hope and pray that the gods allow their children to be untainted by humanity as our lineage is." Said another elder to contradict the one who had spoken.

I glanced behind me at Rukia who was sitting behind me. She smiled slightly but looked down as if the rooms arguing was starting to weigh physically on her. I as about to walk towards her when the doors opened and some of the angry elders left hurriedly. Two of the eighteen remaining elders in the room congratulated us before asking permission to leave the room which I granted.

"That went surprisingly well." I told her and smiled before a terrible ache struck through my chest. My hand flew to my heart and my knees fell to the floor.

"Byakuya! Are you alright?!" Rukia asked me frantically but images and sounds from somewhere far away flooded my mind in disconnection, trying to tell me where the danger was located. The temple of our forbidden relics? But how? I groaned in agony as I made my way to my feet again and took off towards the temple. Panic filled my heart when I understood where the angered elders had gone to, and worse, was why they had.

They intended to influence the records! They couldn't get inside the temple while I sealed it with my own life force, but that only meant that whatever they were doing to force it open would damage my soul immensely if they continued much longer. I felt Rukia following me but I didn't have time to warn her away.

I drew my zanpakuto as I entered the courtyard around the room of our treasures. Many angrier Kuchiki's were trying to open the doors, and others guarded with their zanpakuto's drawn. Was I supposed to try and defeat them all? I was no fool, I know experience triumphs over strength in numbers. My bankai should kill the majority of them, but not all of them, and many Kuchiki's gathered here were masters of Kido, Bakudo, such as myself.

"What in the name of all that is holy do you think that you are doing?!" I yelled out vehemently at the top of my lungs and clutched my chest in pain as they tried to force the doors open once more with Kido.

"We are fixing a heinous mistake in our family! You seek to destroy our clan! We have no choice but to erase you!" One of the head elders called from above me on the temple roof.

"Please, I do not wish you spill your blood! I am giving you a chance to leave now and return home! Go before I punish you as all traitors to our sacred clan are punished! Nothing of you will remain when I am through with you, unlike humans your souls will disappear once I have slain you! Do not waste your precious life!" I yelled out. I knew Rukia was hiding in the shadows watching me. I could feel immense panic and fear radiating from her.

"Save your breathe! We are older than you can possibly imagine, you can not break through our Kido! You should try to accept your demise gracefully! Have you no honour!?" Yelled an elder and tears or hurt and frustration poured from my eyes.

"Bankai! Senkei Senbonzakura!" I yelled out and released my spiritual pressure explosively. Some of them wouldn't be able to withstand the pressure. And once my blade engulphed the temple, none of them should be left standing except for those stronger and more skilled than I am. Hopefully there wouldn't be any of those.

Indeed, once my bankai retreated towards me, bodies fell to pieces before my eyes yet some were completely unscathed and others were barely hanging onto life.

"Advanced Skill, Hado thirty-three Senbonsokatsui!" I yelled and three of the four barrier holders fell dead off of the roof. A mixture of blue fire, converted into electricity and conducted by my many blades petals. Those who were left standing stopped defending the temple and quickly unleashed their bankai. I had barely enough time to see a blade that reflected the sky descending towards my neck. I was unprepared!

It would have killed me if it hadn't shattered into blocks of ice, a mere split second after it touched my skin. My eyes widened in shock at Rukia's fearful wide eyes. She hadn't killed him but she had revealed her presence. And it was quickly noticed when I felt the traitors ascend to the roof she was standing on. They looked mesmerised, but their murderous intent was far from undistinguishable.

Her spiritual pressure emitted her absolute terror and she fled. I was torn between chasing them and staying at the temple, but the temple was my sole purpose for existing, I had to protect it! I fought every last rebel to the death. I stayed a safe distance away from them as my blades chased them and obliterated their existences. Some begged for mercy, but I could not grant it to them now. Once I was sure that the elders who had rebelled as well as the other clan members to betrayed me were dead on my side, I secured the tower and set fires of purification upon the corpses of the dead.

I felt Rukia becoming wary from running. She was allowed to defend herself from her attackers but she chose to flee instead.

What I saw when she was in sight horrified me! She was bound in Bakudo my three different users and one was about to slash her in a full-frontal assault!

"Hado thirty-three, Sokatsui!" She yelled and a burst of blue fire shot into the chest of her assailant. I stood in shock for an instant before I caught her jade ring gleaming on her hand. One was unable to use Kido of any kind while bound in Bakudo, however she was able to utilise her rings power to call on a spell by indirect means. I felt a smile tug at my lips, how ingenuitive!

Before I could reach her however a black and red Getsugatensho slammed one of my traitorous kin to the ground, dead. How dare he! No one has the right to attack a Kuchiki apart from the leader of the clan! Did he not hear my warning not a night ago?! This is punishable by death! He continued to fight my brethren as I made my way through the rebels, trying to kill them swiftly and running after the few who tried to escape. That was when I heard it, a shrill cry from Rukia. Before my eyes Kurosaki took a death dealing blow across his midsection, which should have sliced him in two and killed him right there and then. I almost felt relief for not having to kill him myself, that and gratitude for giving his life to save Rukia's, only he didn't die.

A monstrous howl of a hollow erupted from his mouth as his wound regenerated and this white, bonelike plasma covered his body in the skeletal form of a hollow. At this moment there was no greater threat to our lives than him. And he wasn't a hairs breath from Rukia.

RUKIA

"Ichigo! Ichigo, please look at me! Are you alright?! Come one, I know you are in there!" I yelled frantically but he disappeared from my sight and started ripping my attackers apart with a vicious glee only a demon could possess.

Once he was done though his attention was directed to innocent Kuchiki's watching in fear from their houses. I could feel Byakuya's murderous intent. He was going to kill Ichigo! Not only had Ichigo killed members of our clan, he is now threatening the lives of the innocent residents Byakuya is meant to protect!

"Please Ichigo! Look at me!" I demanded but he flashed next to an innocent child and looked down at him hungrily. The child hadn't even noticed his presence yet. I did the only thing I could think of. I released my bankai and slashed my arm with my zanpakuto. I choked on a scream as pain filled my body and my arm began to shake.

It served its purpose though as Ichigo was drawn towards my blood. I quickly ran from roof to roof away from the populated part of the compound towards the training grounds that would most likely be empty. I screeched in surprise as a white arm encircled my waist and pulled me harshly towards the ground. I cried out as the impact jarred me and left me stunned for a moment.

"Ichigo, do you remember who I am?" I asked gently and reached for his demonic looking mask. I saw Byakuya stop nearby and I yelled at him to stand still. He listened to me for whatever reason, but the hollow remembered how I subdued it last time and quickly pinned my other hand to my zanpakuto, not allowing me to release it. I gulped in shock.

"You would never hurt me, right Ichigo?" I asked carefully and tried my best to mile through my terror. He moved his face towards my arm and I wrapped my hand around his jaw forcing him to face me.

"I know my blood smells good right now, but you would never hurt me, would you? do you know my name?" I asked him carefully and gently caressed his mask. His eyes clouded over as if trying to remember my name before screeching.

"Rukia?!" He said in that grating voice of his. I leaned my forehead towards his and I felt Byakuya becoming angrier. I couldn't risk drawing attention to Byakuya though because if they fought one of them would die. I carefully placed my hand over the hole in his chest where his heart should have been. I took his hand in mine and showed him the two rings that looked almost identically alike.

"Where is your heart Ichigo?" I asked him gently and the monsters eyes watered pitifully, confusedly.

"Here?" He asked placing his hand over my chest. I could almost taste the venom in the air from Byakuya as I continued to ignore him and focused on trying to get Ichigo back to normal. I nodded at Ichigo.

"That's right, but then where is my heart Ichigo?" I asked him sadly. He sat up and looked at his chest before seeing only a hole where his heart should be. He screeched in agony and clawed at his chest, as if searching for it. I quickly took the opportunity to draw my zanpakuto and used my ice to break off his horns. His chest filled in again as it should be and he slowly became himself again. Once he was himself again he placed his hand to his chest and grinned.

"Right here." He said and I smiled and nodded. A hand came from behind me and pushed Ichigo's head into the ground painfully, knocking him out cold. I saw Byakuya move his hand to his neck when I used my Shunko to kick him off of Ichigo and I quickly threw one of Ichigo's arms over my shoulders and flash stepped to my captains' quarters. I locked the doors and sealed them with my Kido. Barely a moment later I saw Byakuya glaring at me from the outside. Fear spiked my heart and tears ran down my face. Like hell I was going to let him kill Ichigo!

I carried Ichigo to my bedroom and pulled him onto my futon. There was a large glass sliding door across my room and I had never bothered buying curtains or blinds because I never intended to live here. Byakuya stood outside and watched my every move. My fear pulsed through me in waves. Fear for Ichigo's safety. Fear of Byakuya's temper.

That would have been nerve wrecking enough if I couldn't feel his constant anger. It rolled off of him in waves. He watched as I stripped off Ichigo's shirt and searched his torso for any wounds that may have remained. He was unsurprisingly all healed. I didn't trust Byakuya's reaction as to seeing my own cuts and bruised, especially the one I had received by Iba. I knew he was strong enough to break through my seals. He was waiting for me to come to him of my own will.

I lifted my injured arm and pulled my sleeve over my shoulder to heal my wound. I could though until it was cleaned properly. I felt sudden panic and fear among the growing anger from Byakuya. I reinforced my barriers before walking into the bathroom to clean my wounds. I felt him pierce my barrier and I quickly returned to Ichigo's side with a cushion and first aid kit.

I forcefully repelled him and opened the first aid kit. I looked at him and towards the alcohol. I could ask him to help heal me. But that meant letting him near Ichigo.

"Please don't hurt him." I begged him and he glared at me.

"You know that he broke the law! He killed my clansman, it is my duty to kill him! Would you defend anyone else?" He asked me and I glared at him.

"He is my best friend! You tried to kill him right in front of me! I would have died if he didn't save me! He protected me when I was vulnerable when you couldn't be you sure that, that isn't what's really bothering you?!" I yelled angrily at him. I couldn't ask Isane to heal me because that meant removing the barriers and she wouldn't defend Ichigo against Byakuya. His eyes widened in shock and rage.

"How dare you speak to me in such a way!? I am thankful to him for saving you, that is why I will make his death painless!" He told me as if he were being reasonable. I placed my cushion facing towards Ichigo and away from him. I sat down and ignored him. I felt his irritation at being ignored. I knew he was doing his duty and he is right, I wouldn't defend anyone else.

My arm shook and I moaned in agony as I cleansed my wound with alcohol and spirit balm before healing it with Kido. Tears of pain splashed against my lashes and I felt Byakuya's anger ebb away slowly. It was still there, just beneath the surface, but he must have decided that it would be better to restrain himself for my sake as I was in enough pain as it was. I looked towards the bathroom and the first aid kit. The second I left he would break my barrier and kill Ichigo, and it was getting dark and I was tired. I couldn't sleep because I couldn't keep the barrier up while I was unconscious.

I took out my phone and dialled Kisuke's number.

"Urahara, Candy shop how may I help you?" He teased and I snorted in amusement. I told Kisuke what happened and he said he would allow Ichigo to hide at his place but I cringed at the thought of Ichigo leaving.

"I can't do that though. I want him to stay with me here." I told him and I felt more of Byakuya's anger and irritation.

"Could Yoruichi maybe pay me a visit and keep Byakuya busy while I find a safe place to hide Ichigo? Or do you know where Kukaku is? I could give him to her?" I suggested and Byakuya listened eagerly. I glared at him a held my middle finger at him. First, he looked angrier until he smirked and mouthed 'you have'. My cheeks heated and tears pricked at my eyes.

"I'm sorry I don't know where she is at the moment, Rukia, why don't you take him to our secret training ground?" He suggested and I couldn't help a choked sob that escaped me and drowned the smile from Byakuya's smug face.

"Byakuya is a pervert and found me in the spring before! Its not secret anymore so I can't hide him there either!" I sobbed and angrily hit Ichigo's chest, willing him to wake up. I saw Byakuya clench his fist in fury and I looked between him and his fist in fright.

"Who knew he had it in him! I guess unless you bring him to me you will have to wait until he wakes up and can defend himself." He said and I sighed in exasperation. I thanked him and I said I would give Ichigo a while before I took him to Kisuke. I was already exhausted but if I meditated, I could last about five days without sleep. Surely, he couldn't sleep that long, right?

I straddled Ichigo's waist getting Byakuya's attention. I tried to tickle him awake but it didn't work. I tried to jump on him and I even slapped him. Nothing. He didn't wake up. Well, part of him did, to Byakuya's horror and my embarrassment. At least I was embarrassed until I burst out laughing hysterically, kicking and screaming in laughter.

"Really, your big idiot?!" I said caringly and pulled the covers over Ichigo so that it hid his problem. Byakuya was starting to lose his patience and began working on the barrier. I lay beside Ichigo and put myself into a daydreaming coma where I was awake but asleep at the same time. I was only awake enough to keep restoring the parts of the barrier that Byakuya managed to destroy.

By the third day I was exhausted. Byakuya hadn't left where he stood in all that time and neither of us slept or ate. I could tell that he was beginning to get concerned for my wellbeing but I knew that he would kill Ichigo before helping me and I was too weak now to protect Ichigo. Tears filled my eyes as I tiredly got to my feet and opened the Senkaimon.

Then I heard a loud groan. I quickly looked down and sighed in relief.

"You stupid idiot! You've been asleep for three whole days! I couldn't eat or sleep because the other idiot is out there plotting your death!" I yelled and hit him over the head. He groaned and mumbled a few words that I couldn't understand.

"Shut up, midget! My head hurts!" He yelled and placed my pillow over his head. I got up from my position on my cushion and reached under his behind much to Byakuya's anger and I pinched him. Hard. He jumped up and shot to his feet while massaging his rear. I smiled at him smugly. He glared in fake anger.

"What are you on about anyway? What did I do worthy of death? Captain Iba deserves an ass kicking after hitting you like that! That's what this is about, right? I refuse to apologize because whatever I did he deserved!" He said angrily and Byakuya's eyes burnt into my back.

"No, it's not about the fight, do you remember waking up in my room afterwards though? And saving me from being cut down?" I asked him gently. He looked confused and scratched his head.

"I only know that something happened, I can't remember what though. Did I do something bad?" He asked me with sad, guilty eyes that I hated seeing on him. I gestured for him to lean down and I touched my forehead to his and touched his cheeks.

"I think it's best that you don't remember everything. And get that look off of your face! You know I hate the sad puppy eyes! It's just wrong!" I accused and slapped his chin up with the back of my hand.

"But look. You involved yourself in private clan business and Byakuya has the right to kill you for your involvement. I asked Kisuke if you can stay with him until things become quieter here, of we could go and find Kukaku." I offered and he looked really sad.

"Thanks, Rukia, but I'm staying right here. I'm not going to leave unless I want to or you order me to. If he wants a fight then I'll give it to him." He said smugly and smirked at Byakuya who looked as if the mere thought of choking the life out of Ichigo would give him great satisfaction.

"You idiot! I'm not going to let you two fight! And no one is going to die. I have spent three days being glared at, do you two idiots know how that feels? I am tired and hungry and sore all over!" I yelled in frustration and slapped Ichigo's chest. Then I walked up to my window and wiped my eyes.

"Look, I understand, but please just let this time be a warning to him? He doesn't understand how our world works, and this is Ichigo we are talking about! How much has he done for us and the entire Soul Society? Please just let it go?" I begged him and he clenched his fists.

"You both need to understand that you aren't above the law! There are certain things that can't be over looked! He killed at least six of my kin!" He said angrily and Ichigo looked startled and walked up next to me but I quickly stepped in front of him.

"Is that true, Byakuya? Rukia?" He asked me and I glared daggers at Byakuya but his anger controlled him and he nodded.

"Ichigo, they were going to kill me! You didn't kill them consciously! You took a fatal blow for me and your hollow had to save you! I am telling you that you are innocent! Byakuya was going to kill them anyway! Do you regret saving me? To you, are their lives worth more than mine?" I asked him knowing the answer.

"I don't remember it but I know I would always protect you no matter what I am. And I would never regret that. I am what I am because of you, I worked for this power only to protect you. If I wasn't allowed to do that then there is no reason for me to live at all." He told me and I smiled and him and gently placed my hand over his beating heart. I sighed and turned around to Byakuya who watched us with venom.

"Byakuya, please try to forgive him. This is the last time I will cover for him, I promise. Please go home, I will be right behind you if you promise me that you won't kill Ichigo." I told him and I knew that they both felt the fear radiating off of me in waves. He glared at me in anger and grit his teeth. Ichigo behind me prepared for a fight.

"The last time." He grits out and looked directly towards Ichigo.

"You are no longer welcomed at my compound, you are too dangerous." He told Ichigo and disappeared. Tears flooded down my face in relief, but my part of the deal made me tremor in fear. Now I had to go home and receive my own punishment. Ichigo wiped my tears away.

"Hey I don't care if Byakuya hates me. We could always run away like Kisuke and Yoruichi you know, I know a place in Hueco Mundo that wouldn't be so bad to live. Nel would love to have guests." He said sadly but comfortingly. I sighed and hit his chest playfully.

"No, I'm sure he won't punish me too harshly. I will just avoid him once I get home. You need to go home and eat something, I'm sure that you are starving. Get yourself checked out by captain Isane as well while you are at it." I said softly and walked out with him after I had tidied up my quarters. I watched him head home and I filled with panic. I hid my spiritual pressure and quickly locked myself inside my room and got out a fresh change of clothing that I took into the bathroom with me.

I had barely had enough time to look at my reflection in my mirror when a knock came from the door.

"Rukia, I want to talk to you." He asked and I felt myself growing scared. I chose to ignore him and heal my injuries first. I heard my door unlock and I gasped. I quickly tried to shut my bathroom door.

"I want to bath, I feel dirty. We can talk afterwards." I told him but he pushed his arm through the opening and stole the key.

"You can't avoid me forever. I did him a great kindness you your sake, one he doesn't deserve. Rukia, why wont you talk to me?" He asked me angrily.

"Look, I am dirty and sore, tired and hungry and you are terrifying me at the moment. Just give me some time to calm down first." I asked him and tears prickled my eyes.

"Please let me come in, you know I won't harm you." He said and I sniffed softly and took a deep calming breath.

"You spent three days glaring daggers at my back and you think I shouldn't be scared of you? Please just give me a moment. I will come out after a calming bath. The key please?" I asked and stuck my hand out the door but he grabbed it and kissed it.

"I'm not leaving, please open the door." He asked again and I discretely drew my blade and froze over the space between myself and the door. He gasped and withdrew his hand. After a few moments of silence, I started running the bath water and stripped out of my damaged pink kimono. I took a deep breath. I gasped in shock at the ugly dark purple bruise on my arm and somewhat on my ribs. I heard a crack before the ice split down the middle and the door sung open. I quickly picked up the shirt of my kimono and wrapped it around myself.

He walked up to me and pulled me by my arm towards the door. I resisted and he sighed before turning to me. I reached for my zanpakuto but he quickly grabbed it and hid it out of my reach. He pulled me into my room and yanked me into his arms for a forced hug. I shivered. Out of fear, longing and pain.

"You are hurting me." I finally said when he didn't release me from his hold. He looked at me in confusion before releasing me. He pulled down the collar on my kimono and starred at the beginning of the bruise on my arm. I yanked my collar free and tried to walk back to the bathroom but he violently pulled me back to him and yanked my kimono open. I covered my chest quickly and looked away from him.

"What's this? Is this what Kurosaki was talking about? Did Iba do this?" He asked me angrily and tears rolled down my cheeks. I looked at the floor stubbornly and refused to answer him.

"Rukia!?" He commanded and I visibly flinched. He looked regretful immediately. He tried to pull me into his arms gently but I refused to move. He stepped forward and kissed my neck and nibbled my collar bone playfully. He leaned a bit higher to kiss my cheek. His hands moved around my body in soothing circles. I felt scared of him, but at the same time arousal pulsed through my body.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout. But please, I need to know if someone did this to you." He asked me reasonably. I nodded and pulled my kimono back on to cover myself.

"Yes, captain Iba did do this to me but I think it was an accident." I said and his gaze hardened on the area the bruise was.

"No, whether he meant to hit you or not is irrelevant to the fact that he did and I bet he didn't try to apologise either, did he? We are trained to react in and instant, he could have prevented hitting you if he wanted to. What makes you say it was an accident?" He asked me and I sighed.

"Well just after you left we were going to leave as well but captain Iba walked out of the meeting hall, gave me a dirty look and walked away. Ichigo didn't like that and told him to apologize to me. They argued and I tried to get Ichigo away from him and he hit me because I was in the way…" I trailed off when Byakuya straightened himself and put my zanpakuto on my bed.

"I have something I need to do, enjoy your bath and please eat something. I will check up on you when I am back." He said eerily calm.

"Byakuya, where are you going? If this is about captain Iba, just let it go. I would appreciate it more if you stayed here with me. Don't you think we have enough trouble at home already?" I asked him as he walked away from me.

"Do you have any idea how great his offence is?! How much is pains me to see your lovely body marred? We are the highest of nobility, Rukia! We can't just 'let it go'!" He yelled but refused to look at me.

I sighed slowly and walked into my bathroom. I let my kimono fall to the floor and got into my bath tub. I kneeled and examined my chest more closely. I healed any small cuts and bruises first before trying to heal my rips. I cried out and bit my lip harshly as I turned too quickly and hurt my side. I held it tightly and a hand came down to touch the bruise lightly. I startled and moved his hand away from me for I could heal my injury myself. He sighed softly.

"Let me heal you." He commanded softly and I sighed letting him heal my arm first because the bruising on my ribs was partly on my breast. When he placed his hand on my ribs I shifted uncomfortably. His thumb gently brushed over my nipple and I gasped and turned my face away from him.

"You know, I don't like what you did with Kurosaki. If your heart belongs to him, then you shouldn't have chosen me." He said bitterly and a shiver of fear ran down my spine.

"His hollow only understands simple interactions. It was the only way I knew how to calm him and try to revive his heart. It worked didn't it? Don't make it mean something is doesn't." I told him sadly. His lips touched my neck and my body erupted in goose bumps.

"I was going to kiss him." I told Byakuya and his kiss froze and his teeth replaced them as he sucked my flesh possessively. His hands wrapped around my breasts and his fingers massaged my nipples. When he was done he released me and blew a mouthful of hot air into my ear making my shiver.

"Mine." He growled out possessively. A mixture of fear and arousal made me look at him with half lidded eyes.

"Prove it." I said innocently. He undid his obi, removed his kosode and hakama and kicked off his tabi and sandals before getting into the bath with me and pulling me onto his lap. In one fluid movement he sheathed himself into me. I cried out in pleasure and he sucked on my breast. He didn't even prepare me.

"Say it. Tell me that you are mine." He growled into my ear and I cried out in ecstasy and clenched myself around him.

"I am yours, you know that." I said and he kissed me harshly and possessively. My sex throbbed in need until I shuddered and the peeing feeling released. We cried out into a passionate kiss as we continue to rock out our releases.

"I never thought it would feel good while I was afraid but it did." I said and he stiffened. Then he brought a hand over his eyes. I realised that he was crying.

"I was afraid until you made love to me. Not while you made love to me Byakuya." I told him gently and he dropped his hand and stared at the water for a while and let his tears fall.

"Where you really going to kiss him?" He asked me suddenly. I looked him in the eye.

"Would you prefer that I died? I had to draw him away from the child and for a moment he looked like he was going to bite into my arm and I was petrified! If kissing him would have brought back his humanity and saved me from a horrible death at my best friend's hands or teeth, then yes, I would have kissed him, but it wouldn't have been like our kisses Byakuya. Think of it this way, if kissing Ichigo would save my life or your own, would you do it for me?" I asked him curiously and he snorted.

"Men don't think that way. I would have punched him in the face hoping he would remember human pain." He told me and I laughed into his shoulder.

"You know," I said and rolled my hips against his while he was still inside me.

"I think I like the angry, possessive side of you. And the pre-fear did wonders for my arousal. I wanted to kiss you but I was afraid to." I told him slowly. I could feel his arousal begin to harden again inside of me.

"That is very strange. Would you be intimidated by me instead?" He asked me carefully and I smiled.

"I would be scared until you touched me. Knowing how angry you are and how powerful you are but also believing that no matter how terrifying you can be that you will never hurt me makes me aroused in a unique way. You can be violent and angry but even when you are you touch me gently and with love. It makes something inside me melt into a craving submission." I purred into his ear and he squeezed my behind with both hands. He lifted me up and slammed me down onto him. I was still sensitive from before and I cried out in pleasure.

I panted and he moved our positions so he could thrust into me instead. We moaned in ecstasy. And then someone walked into my room. We froze and panted silently. I covered my chest and sat up properly. Byakuya and I stared at each other for a while before I got up and wrapped a towel around myself.

"Oh! Lady Kuchiki! There you are, I thought I heard sounds coming from here somewhere. Sorry for intruding. The wedding planners are here and I can't find Lord Kuchiki anywhere! Do you know where he might be?" The maid asked me and I cleared my throat.

"Please knock before entering my room in the future. I think he was chasing Ichigo away from the compound. They probably kissed and made up by now hopefully." I said and heard a snort from my bathroom.

"Alright, thank you Lady Kuchiki! Are you in poor health? Your face in awfully red." She asked me in concern.

"I had a very hot bath, I feel a little underwhelmed but not ill. You let yourself in when I just climbed out, as you can see." I gestured to the towel and she flushed and apologised. She left and I quickly put on a clean set of underwear before walking back towards the bath tub where Byakuya relaxed as if nothing had happened. I took a bucked of cold water and poured it over him. I smiled evilly when he bit his fist to remain silent.

"I don't see how I am left underwhelmed and you are here relaxing like nothing is wrong! Suffer!" I said and poured the second bucket over his head. I grabbed my clothes and quickly bolted out of the bathroom. By the time I was dressed he was grudgingly getting back into his clothing. I smiled as I watched him getting dressed.

Most people would fear treating him in such a way but he seemed to regain a more playful nature of the past weeks. He looked at me with sulky grey eyes and made a great show of dusting his robes off.

"Well are we going?" I asked him teasingly and he sighed exasperatedly. I frowned in mock confusion.

"I would have thought that you would be a lot happier than you are right now, perhaps bathing together isn't our thing." I teased him and he flashed in front of me and swung me over his shoulder. I barely had enough time to pick up my zanpakuto.

Time for wedding arrangements.


	24. Chapter 24

BYAKUYA

Today was the day. I thought I would be happier but for some reason I felt incredibly despondent. I ordered my squad to patrol the grounds around the compound to make sure that no uninvited guests ruined our wedding or tried to kill us.

My relationship with Kurosaki was also on thin ice. I commanded his obedience today as I didn't with for him to get any ideas of stealing Rukia from me at the altar as he tried to with Abarai, and I couldn't send him off on patrol because he was a danger to my clansman, at least until he developed control over his hollow.

I looked myself over in the mirror. Rukia decided on all of the wedding arrangements, the venue, food, appearance, attendance gifts, and our clothing. Of course, I had to wear my ceremonial heirlooms as well which heavily weighed down on me. She was most unpleased knowing that she would have to wear ceremonial heirlooms as I would, as was proper for the lady of the Kuchiki clan.

The dark black kosode was covered by a dark grey satin sleeveless kimono that clung tightly and shone with the reflection on the light and my movements. The lower half of it, from the waist down had light blue elaborate snowflakes elegantly falling to the bottom of the fabric where they collected at the hem on my hakama. They were so intricate and delicate and shone like real ice. I could stop myself from tracing them as the servants dressed me.

Lastly were my shoulder guards with the embodiment of the Kuchiki crest on them. Them clicked into place into one another around my shoulders, neck and collar, and being solid gold, they weighed a ton. No kenseikan could prepare one for this weight. The symbolism was well acknowledged. Marriage and creating a family were no joke, especial to the head of the clan.

I lastly slipped on my golden ceremonial sandals over my black tabi and walked over to the closed box which held my crown. I would never need it in reality, it was only used for ceremonies. I smiled at how unhappy Rukia would be to have to wear something like this. It was spirit gold, a special kind of gold created in heaven itself, the crown was heavier than the kenseikan and would injure you if you weren't careful. It was shaped as a crown of thorns. Sharp, deadly thorns. Secretly I still wore the necklace Rukia had given me. It was supposed to not be allowed but what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. I never intended to take it off until I was old enough to pass it to a younger generation of our descendants.

I thought about the last time I wore this crown, at my first wedding. When Hisana walked towards me when I stood by the alter. Our attire and the arrangements were all while and gold. I wondered what the wedding setting would look like today. I wore my zanpakuto as I always do and I attached two other swords to my waist as well. Both were ancient swords crafted in the heavens. One was the head of the family's sword, the other belonged to his wife. I was to present it to her after the sake ceremony.

Thousands of souls including the heads of the clans would be present today. The wedding its self wouldn't take longer than an hour, then Rukia will wait for me at the ceremonial consummation room where a married couple was to spend their first night together. The elders were supposed to sit and wait behind the wall of a private room which was created with the purpose of supervising the union, making sure what was supposed to happen happened.

Neither Rukia or I were virgins however, so they had no proof to collect the morning after. They probably only requested that we use the room so that they could make certain that we were not planning a false marriage only to stop them from harassing us.

I walked to the entrance and waited until I was permitted to walk to the alter when everyone was seated. The room looked mesmerising. It was created solely from ice, the chairs and tables, the floor itself was frozen over smoothly. Did Rukia do this herself? Different colours of dead autumn leaves were frozen to the ground beneath us and the flower used at the centre of each table were branches of sakura being held in vases of two rabbits rubbing noses. A smile crossed my face and many gasped at the new and probably soon to become expression of happiness on my face. I briefly glanced up at the ceiling of the ice hall where a wonderful ice chandelier hung with its flickering candles that couldn't melt this special ice. The theme must have been seasons and love.

I waited by the alter for what felt like years but was only probably ten to fifteen minutes until the doors opened again and the musicians started playing the traditional music of the ancients. I gasped at her and I felt tears burn my tears. She was beautiful. Many gasped, either at her beauty or at my own rare expression of emotion. It was part of the ceremony that her face remains covered by the ceremonial hood that was held in place by her gold shoulder guards which bared the family crest as my own did, after all, two Kuchiki's from the main house were being married. I felt that it was a good omen.

She wore a white satin kosode that gleamed as she walked, with a white lace shoulder less kimono embroided with life like pale sakura petals falling to the bottom of the hem, as my snowflakes were. She too wore gold sandals over her white tabi. White really did suit her. It was a shame she had to wear so much black because of work.

If she was intimidated by our many guests, she didn't show it. We spoke our vows and when the ceremony came to the San-San-Kudo, Rukia was still hidden from me. I foolishly wanted to pull buck the hood to glimpse a peek at her but I couldn't. I needed to see her face!

I craved to touch her perfect pale hands that slid out beneath her satin kosode to reach for the cups I set back down. Why couldn't I hand them to her? Something about her accepting them from free will or something. I was aware that I was staring at her longingly, openly emotional. I didn't give a damn! I maintained as much of my authoritive composure as I could but my curiosity was killing me. Eventually her own feathered crown was brought to me. I could finally unveil her and crown her as the head of the family's bride.

Her beautiful eyes were closed. The makeup she wore paled her already pale skin white. Her cheeks were lightly blushed pink and her lips were painted bright red. Her hair was braided into elegantly and held up into a bun. It was incredibly rare for her to wear her hair up…and expose her beautiful neck. My eyes ravaged her, my hurt tried to thump loud enough for her to hear it, and my loins stirred with desire.

Her hair was held up by crystal ornament cherry blossoms. I gently reached for her crown and placed it on her head gently. Her pale pink dusted lids opened slowly to look at me. Without thinking I took her cheek into my hand and looked into her mesmerising eyes. I didn't hear the chief elder clear his throat but Rukia smiled at me and her eyes twinkled in mischief.

"Byakuya. People are watching! The ceremony isn't over yet!" She whispered and my cheeks flamed. I gasped and took a step away from her, ignoring the laughter and encouragement from the audience. How could I shame myself so badly! I just publicly humiliated myself. I paid closer attention to the elder priest and refused to look at Rukia again.

I lowered my eyes to the elaborate sword I presented to her and kneeled before her, bowing my head. She accepted the sword and slipped it beside her zanpakuto. She offered me an ornamental fan as was the woman's replacement for the sword and I accepted it and tucked it into my obi sash. Eventually I we were told to kiss, it was the end of the long, painful ceremony. I looked at her and refused to embarrass myself again. I would settle for a quick peck on the lips, that's all.

I leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. I tried to rise but her hand kept my neck where it was and she kissed me more passionately. I grinned foolishly into the kiss and kissed her back as she desired. The audience reacted in different ways. We parted and laughed at each other. We accepted congratulations on the way to the wedding chambers.

The maids took her from me to redress her for our first night together as husband and wife. I however was forced to endure the public. I resumed my usual cold mask and answered any questions I felt weren't too personal and thanked our attendants for their gifts and hoped that they enjoyed the wedding souvenirs Rukia had arranged for them.

Finally, the wedding party started and I was allowed to retreat to the wedding chambers as the elders occupied the guests in my stead. Hopefully not ruining my reputation behind my back or conspiring against me. I closed the doors behind myself and slowly searched the room for Rukia.

She stood looking out of the window in nothing but a see-through yukata. I felt the excitement build in my stomach. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Today you looked more beautiful than anything I have ever seen; our wedding will be one of my happiest memories during our many years together. The only thing more attractive than your wedding kimono, would be your bare body." I told her and ran mu hands over her covered hips and her belly. She arched into me with a sigh. She had washed off her makeup and removed her hair ornaments already, it was quiet a shame, especially knowing how long it must have taken to do up.

"Why thank you very much for the compliment. I feared I over did things a bit. I tried to fit in my love of too many things in the wedding. I actually wanted you to undress me, I figured you deserved your chance at deflowering me but the maids insisted and I wasn't sure you wouldn't destroy it so I decided to save it. May I undress you?" She asked shyly after teasing me a bit. I nodded and smile at her. As she undressed me I stole kisses and tried to undo her obi holding her yukata together.

Once I was disrobed until my loin cloth I picked her up and lay her down gently on the soft futon. To me, I will always remember our first night together fondly. It is how we learnt how to please each other. But tonight, was going to be our true first night together as husband and wife, today symbolised the true union of our souls, and nothing could be more significant. We made love slowly throughout the night, savouring the moment until we were too tired to stay awake. I found a nice place in the spirit world for us to have our honeymoon and be would leave early tomorrow morning. When I was sure that Rukia was asleep I used my spiritual pressure to force any elders still in the adjacent room to leave, to my surprise they were all already gone.


End file.
